Leaving a child alone
Discussion
At home this week. Yesterday we took our 3 yr old to the local park for swings and kicking a ball.
A boy no bigger than her emerged from the undergrowth by the railway and tried to play football with us - he was in school clothes so was probably 5. I asked him where his mum or dad were and he said they let him go out by himself.
He then wandered off on his scooter, and left me concluding that he had a crap future ahead of him if nobody gives a monkeys about where he is and what he's doing.
So when is old enough to be left to your own devices?
A boy no bigger than her emerged from the undergrowth by the railway and tried to play football with us - he was in school clothes so was probably 5. I asked him where his mum or dad were and he said they let him go out by himself.
He then wandered off on his scooter, and left me concluding that he had a crap future ahead of him if nobody gives a monkeys about where he is and what he's doing.
So when is old enough to be left to your own devices?
fatandwheezing said:
At home this week. Yesterday we took our 3 yr old to the local park for swings and kicking a ball.
A boy no bigger than her emerged from the undergrowth by the railway and tried to play football with us - he was in school clothes so was probably 5. I asked him where his mum or dad were and he said they let him go out by himself.
He then wandered off on his scooter, and left me concluding that he had a crap future ahead of him if nobody gives a monkeys about where he is and what he's doing.
So when is old enough to be left to your own devices?
I don't think this will go too well for you OP if you let him wander off and did nothing other than post about it on here.A boy no bigger than her emerged from the undergrowth by the railway and tried to play football with us - he was in school clothes so was probably 5. I asked him where his mum or dad were and he said they let him go out by himself.
He then wandered off on his scooter, and left me concluding that he had a crap future ahead of him if nobody gives a monkeys about where he is and what he's doing.
So when is old enough to be left to your own devices?
fatandwheezing said:
At home this week. Yesterday we took our 3 yr old to the local park for swings and kicking a ball.
A boy no bigger than her emerged from the undergrowth by the railway and tried to play football with us - he was in school clothes so was probably 5. I asked him where his mum or dad were and he said they let him go out by himself.
He then wandered off on his scooter, and left me concluding that he had a crap future ahead of him if nobody gives a monkeys about where he is and what he's doing.
So when is old enough to be left to your own devices?
I used to get the bus home on my own at 10 (small town, bus driver stopped and made sure I got to house before leaving) A boy no bigger than her emerged from the undergrowth by the railway and tried to play football with us - he was in school clothes so was probably 5. I asked him where his mum or dad were and he said they let him go out by himself.
He then wandered off on his scooter, and left me concluding that he had a crap future ahead of him if nobody gives a monkeys about where he is and what he's doing.
So when is old enough to be left to your own devices?
Our neighbours kids walk home from primary school (~500 metres) from about 8 years old, but a small village and no fast roads.
This probably seems really strange to modern parents but when I was a kid - certainly primary school age and probably from about age 7 or 8 - kids got kind of 'put out the door' and were expected to come back for tea/when it got dark/at some prearranged agreed set time.
What you'd do is go round to your pal's house (if he hadn't come to yours first) and say "Is Jimmy coming out to play"? The answer was invariably Jimmy appearing and off we'd go, often to pick up another member of our little gang.
We got up to all sorts - nothing harmful though occasionally naughty but rarely if ever criminally so - and were never approached by paedophiles or child traffickers or anything vile or harmful.
In fact almost all free time that wasn't taken up by homework or the occasional (usually dreaded) family commitment was spent outdoors in company of our chums and unsupervised by any adults or authority.
Believe it or not, this was pretty normal once. I know it was, because it was how it was for all kids.
That must sound pretty weird and irresponsible. But it really wasn't. It was good!
What you'd do is go round to your pal's house (if he hadn't come to yours first) and say "Is Jimmy coming out to play"? The answer was invariably Jimmy appearing and off we'd go, often to pick up another member of our little gang.
We got up to all sorts - nothing harmful though occasionally naughty but rarely if ever criminally so - and were never approached by paedophiles or child traffickers or anything vile or harmful.
In fact almost all free time that wasn't taken up by homework or the occasional (usually dreaded) family commitment was spent outdoors in company of our chums and unsupervised by any adults or authority.
Believe it or not, this was pretty normal once. I know it was, because it was how it was for all kids.
That must sound pretty weird and irresponsible. But it really wasn't. It was good!
Yeah that's so. I can't quite remember but get the feeling that occasionally someone's little brother had to be dragged along with us. But you're right. Gangs of 5 year olds didn't exist.
All these 'gangs' were single sex, the girls having their own cliques usually less geographically adventurous and more garden/street oriented esp. involving 'pavement games'.
Never see any little tribes of rascals roaming about nowadays. Can't remember when I last saw a kid climbing a tree. Play's much more organised/supervised I think.
All these 'gangs' were single sex, the girls having their own cliques usually less geographically adventurous and more garden/street oriented esp. involving 'pavement games'.
Never see any little tribes of rascals roaming about nowadays. Can't remember when I last saw a kid climbing a tree. Play's much more organised/supervised I think.
t. drainbrain said:
This probably seems really strange to modern parents but when I was a kid - certainly primary school age and probably from about age 7 or 8 - kids got kind of 'put out the door' and were expected to come back for tea/when it got dark/at some prearranged agreed set time.
What you'd do is go round to your pal's house (if he hadn't come to yours first) and say "Is Jimmy coming out to play"? The answer was invariably Jimmy appearing and off we'd go, often to pick up another member of our little gang.
We got up to all sorts - nothing harmful though occasionally naughty but rarely if ever criminally so - and were never approached by paedophiles or child traffickers or anything vile or harmful.
In fact almost all free time that wasn't taken up by homework or the occasional (usually dreaded) family commitment was spent outdoors in company of our chums and unsupervised by any adults or authority.
Believe it or not, this was pretty normal once. I know it was, because it was how it was for all kids.
That must sound pretty weird and irresponsible. But it really wasn't. It was good!
This absolutely is how it was for me too. What you'd do is go round to your pal's house (if he hadn't come to yours first) and say "Is Jimmy coming out to play"? The answer was invariably Jimmy appearing and off we'd go, often to pick up another member of our little gang.
We got up to all sorts - nothing harmful though occasionally naughty but rarely if ever criminally so - and were never approached by paedophiles or child traffickers or anything vile or harmful.
In fact almost all free time that wasn't taken up by homework or the occasional (usually dreaded) family commitment was spent outdoors in company of our chums and unsupervised by any adults or authority.
Believe it or not, this was pretty normal once. I know it was, because it was how it was for all kids.
That must sound pretty weird and irresponsible. But it really wasn't. It was good!
In fact in later life when my mother made some comment about parents not knowing where their kids are, it wouldn't happen in her day etc, I delighted in telling her some of the stuff we got up to that she new nothing about
She never made those comments again!
To be fair, I'm no good at guessing age, and my sprog is very tall for her age, so who knows how old he really is.
I do wish id taken him home and regret not talking to him a bit more, but he'd upset her by playing a bit rough, and was scooting off round the corner by the time id calmed her down.
I do wish id taken him home and regret not talking to him a bit more, but he'd upset her by playing a bit rough, and was scooting off round the corner by the time id calmed her down.
drainbrain said:
This probably seems really strange to modern parents but when I was a kid - certainly primary school age and probably from about age 7 or 8 - kids got kind of 'put out the door' and were expected to come back for tea/when it got dark/at some prearranged agreed set time.
What you'd do is go round to your pal's house (if he hadn't come to yours first) and say "Is Jimmy coming out to play"? The answer was invariably Jimmy appearing and off we'd go, often to pick up another member of our little gang.
We got up to all sorts - nothing harmful though occasionally naughty but rarely if ever criminally so - and were never approached by paedophiles or child traffickers or anything vile or harmful.
In fact almost all free time that wasn't taken up by homework or the occasional (usually dreaded) family commitment was spent outdoors in company of our chums and unsupervised by any adults or authority.
Believe it or not, this was pretty normal once. I know it was, because it was how it was for all kids.
That must sound pretty weird and irresponsible. But it really wasn't. It was good!
I remember times like this too. Summer holidays, bike out the shed early in the morning and off you went. Round a few mates houses, then it was off into the woods to build dens, playing football, messing around by the pond etc. Then you go to someones house for lunch and ring your mum to let her know you weren't dead, and she's say "be home for dinner at X", and that was it. I have 2 young children, and the way my wife is with them I doubt they'll ever be allowed outside to play like this, which is a shame, but it's becoming the way of the world unfortunately.What you'd do is go round to your pal's house (if he hadn't come to yours first) and say "Is Jimmy coming out to play"? The answer was invariably Jimmy appearing and off we'd go, often to pick up another member of our little gang.
We got up to all sorts - nothing harmful though occasionally naughty but rarely if ever criminally so - and were never approached by paedophiles or child traffickers or anything vile or harmful.
In fact almost all free time that wasn't taken up by homework or the occasional (usually dreaded) family commitment was spent outdoors in company of our chums and unsupervised by any adults or authority.
Believe it or not, this was pretty normal once. I know it was, because it was how it was for all kids.
That must sound pretty weird and irresponsible. But it really wasn't. It was good!
I also have friends/family members with kids around 10/11yrs old, and they just seem to play games consoles all day, gone are the days of getting the bike out and finding your own fun.
I think the main problem now is traffic; there is so much of it, back when I were a lad, households had 1 car, cars were slower too along with the slower pace of life, so people weren't constantly rushing everywhere, subsequently roads were far quieter than they have been for some time.
Plus now with the advent of 24hr news there is now a pedophile and child murder on every street so parents are far more fearful.
My 2; now 18 and 24, where given a far more relaxed reign from myself and the wife when they were younger compared to their friends at the time but nothing like when I was a young.
The problem with being too protective is the kids grow up being fearful of everything and also not possessing the skills to be streetwise and aware, and you end up with neurotic and pathetic late teenagers/young adults.
My mum in laws neighbour lives on a small estate and there are some scummy parents dotted about it, her neighbour has a 5 yo who she let's out to wander about and there are other parents with even younger kids that let their children out unsupervised, you have to be so careful when popping round, incase you drive into one, Social services are aware but nothing seems to come of it.
Plus now with the advent of 24hr news there is now a pedophile and child murder on every street so parents are far more fearful.
My 2; now 18 and 24, where given a far more relaxed reign from myself and the wife when they were younger compared to their friends at the time but nothing like when I was a young.
The problem with being too protective is the kids grow up being fearful of everything and also not possessing the skills to be streetwise and aware, and you end up with neurotic and pathetic late teenagers/young adults.
My mum in laws neighbour lives on a small estate and there are some scummy parents dotted about it, her neighbour has a 5 yo who she let's out to wander about and there are other parents with even younger kids that let their children out unsupervised, you have to be so careful when popping round, incase you drive into one, Social services are aware but nothing seems to come of it.
steveatesh said:
drainbrain said:
This probably seems really strange to modern parents but when I was a kid - certainly primary school age and probably from about age 7 or 8 - kids got kind of 'put out the door' and were expected to come back for tea/when it got dark/at some prearranged agreed set time.
What you'd do is go round to your pal's house (if he hadn't come to yours first) and say "Is Jimmy coming out to play"? The answer was invariably Jimmy appearing and off we'd go, often to pick up another member of our little gang.
We got up to all sorts - nothing harmful though occasionally naughty but rarely if ever criminally so - and were never approached by paedophiles or child traffickers or anything vile or harmful.
In fact almost all free time that wasn't taken up by homework or the occasional (usually dreaded) family commitment was spent outdoors in company of our chums and unsupervised by any adults or authority.
Believe it or not, this was pretty normal once. I know it was, because it was how it was for all kids.
That must sound pretty weird and irresponsible. But it really wasn't. It was good!
This absolutely is how it was for me too. What you'd do is go round to your pal's house (if he hadn't come to yours first) and say "Is Jimmy coming out to play"? The answer was invariably Jimmy appearing and off we'd go, often to pick up another member of our little gang.
We got up to all sorts - nothing harmful though occasionally naughty but rarely if ever criminally so - and were never approached by paedophiles or child traffickers or anything vile or harmful.
In fact almost all free time that wasn't taken up by homework or the occasional (usually dreaded) family commitment was spent outdoors in company of our chums and unsupervised by any adults or authority.
Believe it or not, this was pretty normal once. I know it was, because it was how it was for all kids.
That must sound pretty weird and irresponsible. But it really wasn't. It was good!
In fact in later life when my mother made some comment about parents not knowing where their kids are, it wouldn't happen in her day etc, I delighted in telling her some of the stuff we got up to that she new nothing about
She never made those comments again!
Aged 5 (1980's) I was allowed to play outside the house around the green and pavement in my pedal car - but never out of sight.
I think I was probably 8 and had a group of chums that i could go and call on in my street before I was allowed to go further than my street - I just had to tell mum that I was going to one of my friends house'.
By 10 I was cycling to the next county and back on my BMX lol
I think I was probably 8 and had a group of chums that i could go and call on in my street before I was allowed to go further than my street - I just had to tell mum that I was going to one of my friends house'.
By 10 I was cycling to the next county and back on my BMX lol
drainbrain said:
This probably seems really strange to modern parents but when I was a kid - certainly primary school age and probably from about age 7 or 8 - kids got kind of 'put out the door' and were expected to come back for tea/when it got dark/at some prearranged agreed set time.
What you'd do is go round to your pal's house (if he hadn't come to yours first) and say "Is Jimmy coming out to play"? The answer was invariably Jimmy appearing and off we'd go, often to pick up another member of our little gang.
We got up to all sorts - nothing harmful though occasionally naughty but rarely if ever criminally so - and were never approached by paedophiles or child traffickers or anything vile or harmful.
In fact almost all free time that wasn't taken up by homework or the occasional (usually dreaded) family commitment was spent outdoors in company of our chums and unsupervised by any adults or authority.
Believe it or not, this was pretty normal once. I know it was, because it was how it was for all kids.
That must sound pretty weird and irresponsible. But it really wasn't. It was good!
Me too - miles and miles and miles of countryside and nature reserve to play in - including a river.What you'd do is go round to your pal's house (if he hadn't come to yours first) and say "Is Jimmy coming out to play"? The answer was invariably Jimmy appearing and off we'd go, often to pick up another member of our little gang.
We got up to all sorts - nothing harmful though occasionally naughty but rarely if ever criminally so - and were never approached by paedophiles or child traffickers or anything vile or harmful.
In fact almost all free time that wasn't taken up by homework or the occasional (usually dreaded) family commitment was spent outdoors in company of our chums and unsupervised by any adults or authority.
Believe it or not, this was pretty normal once. I know it was, because it was how it was for all kids.
That must sound pretty weird and irresponsible. But it really wasn't. It was good!
Not only that but at eleven I was cycling to school (Rochdale - Bury) and back. That was 9 miles each way.
My mother would hang a tea towel from an upstairs window when she wanted me to come home. I could see the house from the park/woods.
My kid will be outside on his bike/go-kart unsupervised.
It's a very quiet cul-de-sac, he's had cars are dangerous drillled into him and he knows how far he is allowed to go.
I am more comfortable when he's playing with the boys opposite who are a bit older.
My kid will be outside on his bike/go-kart unsupervised.
It's a very quiet cul-de-sac, he's had cars are dangerous drillled into him and he knows how far he is allowed to go.
I am more comfortable when he's playing with the boys opposite who are a bit older.
I'm with children should have right to roam camp, and also should be allowed to play football on green spaces. There are unanswered questions, like did any houses back onto the Park, were any other kids around, was he part of group?
I was allowed to wander from about the time I started school, being able to get ready for school was the responsibility. When I could get ready for school and get there, get back. I'd earned the right to 'play out'. Out being outside the garden. If I could see home that was ok, be home in-time for tea, we lived on a housing estate so no busy roads near home and most amenities and the school could be seen from the front door.
This was pretty much the norm, other kids the same and on occasions the small groups including much younger siblings hanging around with the group including on occasions toddlers. The estate was mostly filled with young families so there was always many more kids of all ages around than adults. Strange adults got noticed by the kids and word telegraphed quickly because of the novelty, 'What you doing mister?' always turned out to be mundane like meter readers, or the insurance man.
All us kids learnt to deal with the world this way, bang your head by falling off the monkey frame, all the others would rush you home or to the nearest parent. Patched up with a plaster or some soap on the graze and the immortal line, 'perhaps you'll learn to be more careful next time'.
I was allowed to wander from about the time I started school, being able to get ready for school was the responsibility. When I could get ready for school and get there, get back. I'd earned the right to 'play out'. Out being outside the garden. If I could see home that was ok, be home in-time for tea, we lived on a housing estate so no busy roads near home and most amenities and the school could be seen from the front door.
This was pretty much the norm, other kids the same and on occasions the small groups including much younger siblings hanging around with the group including on occasions toddlers. The estate was mostly filled with young families so there was always many more kids of all ages around than adults. Strange adults got noticed by the kids and word telegraphed quickly because of the novelty, 'What you doing mister?' always turned out to be mundane like meter readers, or the insurance man.
All us kids learnt to deal with the world this way, bang your head by falling off the monkey frame, all the others would rush you home or to the nearest parent. Patched up with a plaster or some soap on the graze and the immortal line, 'perhaps you'll learn to be more careful next time'.
Edited by 4x4Tyke on Friday 21st July 10:53
Pretty similar care-free childhood here too. Out of the house sometme early doors, of with mates into the derelict fleet air arm base near the houses. There all day. Lunch, depending on weather & seasons, would be apples scrumped from the orchard behind the petrol station, spuds & carrots straight out of one of the adjacent farmers fields, various berries from bushes etc.We never felt at risk & dad was very aware of the dangers to kids in the 70's being a plod. The risks of being abducted/attacked were greater, statistically, than nowadays. It just wasn't reported as 'dramatically' as it is now.
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