Leaving a child alone
Discussion
My little lad turned 6 in March, he is allowed out to play but has a set of rules which he knows off by heart and we ask him to recite every time he goes out. We live down a short private road on a new estate, itself within a small village, only 3 houses and a dead end, so no through traffic at all. If he walks to the end of the road, 50 yards on is a small park, he is allowed to this but one of the rules is he must tell us when he goes there. We also send him with a walkie talkie so we can check on him as and when. We try to encourage both him and his older sister to be as independent as possible but to stay safe, mum and dad don't want to have to watch them every minute of the day.
I was allowed up to the local park on my own (or with friends) from about age 5/6 I believe (witnessed my friend get knocked down by a car after he ran out in front of it around that age)
I was walking the mile back from primary school (through a park and across a couple of main roads) by age 7.
This was in the very early 1980s.
I think fear and paranoia now dominate parents decisions. This article highlights how things have changed over the generations.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-462091/How...
I was walking the mile back from primary school (through a park and across a couple of main roads) by age 7.
This was in the very early 1980s.
I think fear and paranoia now dominate parents decisions. This article highlights how things have changed over the generations.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-462091/How...
Edited by Moonhawk on Friday 21st July 10:29
skinnyman said:
I remember times like this too. Summer holidays, bike out the shed early in the morning and off you went. Round a few mates houses, then it was off into the woods to build dens, playing football, messing around by the pond etc. Then you go to someones house for lunch and ring your mum to let her know you weren't dead, and she's say "be home for dinner at X", and that was it. I have 2 young children, and the way my wife is with them I doubt they'll ever be allowed outside to play like this, which is a shame, but it's becoming the way of the world unfortunately.
I also have friends/family members with kids around 10/11yrs old, and they just seem to play games consoles all day, gone are the days of getting the bike out and finding your own fun.
I remember that too. "Be back at 5" and off you went. Different times!I also have friends/family members with kids around 10/11yrs old, and they just seem to play games consoles all day, gone are the days of getting the bike out and finding your own fun.
Cubs and Scouts is the way to do it now. The stuff my son has done has been amazing. Good old fashioned outdoor fun. Plenty of fires, den building, tree climbing, camping. Highly recommended.
My eldest is nearly 9 and he's allowed to go to the shop (across a couple of residential roads) on his own but he isn't allowed to take his 5 year old brother with him.
He really wants the independence to walk up to his Gran's house (about 2 miles away) or go to the park (about a mile away), but the thought of not knowing exactly where he is for that length of time makes me feel a bit sick to be honest.
When I was his age we would range all over the place on our BMXs, but even if I did feel brave enough to let him out on his bike I don't think any of his mates would be inclined to go out and entertain themselves like we did.
We also have the added complication of a 5 year old son who is terrified of missing out on anything and would want to go everywhere with his big brother.
He really wants the independence to walk up to his Gran's house (about 2 miles away) or go to the park (about a mile away), but the thought of not knowing exactly where he is for that length of time makes me feel a bit sick to be honest.
When I was his age we would range all over the place on our BMXs, but even if I did feel brave enough to let him out on his bike I don't think any of his mates would be inclined to go out and entertain themselves like we did.
We also have the added complication of a 5 year old son who is terrified of missing out on anything and would want to go everywhere with his big brother.
Grew up in small village half way up the Mendips in the 70's. Dead end road with a massive wood at the end of the garden and fields in all other directions. From about 7-8 onwards we were out and about at every opportunity with others of similar age in the road. Used to play in the farmers barns, make dens in the woods, ride our bikes everywhere possible and generally have a great time with no adult supervsion at all. Summer holidays we pretty much were out all day, dropping into various kids houses for something to eat and drink. As long as they knew who we were with, roughly where we'd be, and we got back in time for tea, my folks didn't seem to mind or worry about us. There was even a know peado who lived about half a mile away who used to wander around the village and the woods, but we were simply told to not talk to him and run back home if we got scared (he was fairly fat, so stood no chance of catching us anyway).
Would love to think my kids could enjoy the same kind of free childhood I had, but I worry too much already about traffic and general accidents. My daughter is pretty sensible and (at 6) we have just started to let her go out exploring with some of the older kids on our road. I'd worry more about my son though, as I know from expereince what stupid things boys can do if left to their own devices. Quite how we all survived our childhood back then I have no idea, as quite a lot of our actvities had some life-threatening aspects to them.
Would love to think my kids could enjoy the same kind of free childhood I had, but I worry too much already about traffic and general accidents. My daughter is pretty sensible and (at 6) we have just started to let her go out exploring with some of the older kids on our road. I'd worry more about my son though, as I know from expereince what stupid things boys can do if left to their own devices. Quite how we all survived our childhood back then I have no idea, as quite a lot of our actvities had some life-threatening aspects to them.
2 mum's I know were driving down a duel carriageway 3 weeks ago.
saw a 5-6 yr old boy walking down the verge. filthy cloths, barefoot.
naturally they stopped, put him in the car. rang police. Police collected him.
still upsets me now thinking about it.
working in social housing, we've seen everything going re: poor parenting. young ones being left in houses/flats alone is very common.
and of course we ring the Police.
saw a 5-6 yr old boy walking down the verge. filthy cloths, barefoot.
naturally they stopped, put him in the car. rang police. Police collected him.
still upsets me now thinking about it.
working in social housing, we've seen everything going re: poor parenting. young ones being left in houses/flats alone is very common.
and of course we ring the Police.
Most stories from people's childhood on here (mine included) show we were all out playing at a young age. Difference is, it seems most of us were with mates, whereas in the OP the kid was on his own approaching people at random.
I see young kids out playing near us these days, but they're always in groups. If I saw one clearly out by themselves I'd be a bit more concerned.
I see young kids out playing near us these days, but they're always in groups. If I saw one clearly out by themselves I'd be a bit more concerned.
It's the whole irony of the modern world. All the parents who grew up being free to play away from their home, with friends, able to spot of peado at 1000 yards have raised children that they keep locked in a secluded room chatting openly with peados over the web.
It doesn't help that the low functioners who back then were of no real danger to anyone now have credit lines that allow them to hurl German rental cars down once peaceful residential streets or that most neighbours worship at the alter of the Daily Mail or Express and think every child is out to kill them. Or that most parents 'know their rights' so no one dare ask a child to behave a little better.
Nor does it help that the natural habitat of the child gang has been flattened and a replaced with a housing development or temple to consumer debt.
Roads are far busier, there are far fewer places for kids to spend a day playing, parents want their children groomed online as it's trendier, adults no longer act in a community fashion. It all adds up. Some of it is logical but sadly, much isjust a function of the mememe population.
It doesn't help that the low functioners who back then were of no real danger to anyone now have credit lines that allow them to hurl German rental cars down once peaceful residential streets or that most neighbours worship at the alter of the Daily Mail or Express and think every child is out to kill them. Or that most parents 'know their rights' so no one dare ask a child to behave a little better.
Nor does it help that the natural habitat of the child gang has been flattened and a replaced with a housing development or temple to consumer debt.
Roads are far busier, there are far fewer places for kids to spend a day playing, parents want their children groomed online as it's trendier, adults no longer act in a community fashion. It all adds up. Some of it is logical but sadly, much isjust a function of the mememe population.
I live in a village. Once seen across the road, it is a 30 second walk to the playing field. We let our 5 year old go without us sometimes as long as he is with his 12 year old sister. But only for a short time, say 30 mins. We either give her a time to be back or pop over ourselves to check on them.
My 8 year old is off round most of the village on his bike, always with a reminder to be careful. People comment to us how great it is too see him out and about. Im sure others are less impressed. Some 11 year olds we know arent allowed to the park even. When I was 10, i was off all over the place on my bike.
There is a south african family who let their daughters do a lot on their own. They moved over here because their house was a fortress be necessity and had to check if they were being followed every time they left the house. They have a very different perception of safety.
My 8 year old is off round most of the village on his bike, always with a reminder to be careful. People comment to us how great it is too see him out and about. Im sure others are less impressed. Some 11 year olds we know arent allowed to the park even. When I was 10, i was off all over the place on my bike.
There is a south african family who let their daughters do a lot on their own. They moved over here because their house was a fortress be necessity and had to check if they were being followed every time they left the house. They have a very different perception of safety.
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