Remember the 'escorts' thread? Confession time.

[PotatoSalad]

johnwilliams77 said:

Don1 said:

Chaps, remember the rules about 'sleuthing'?

OP, it does sound like this is a type of self-destructive behaviour. Only now you have your family to think about as well. Go and talk to a professional about it (no, not a 'pro' ) , and get this threat deleted.

Apologies. Photobucket is one thing but anything previously posted here is surely 'fair game'?

PB was linked here in at least dozen of threads.

Anyway, I'm just trying to help.

[Monkeylegend]

What we don't know is maybe OP's wife knows what he is doing and is prepared to accept the situation as long as the family stays together. It's not quite the same as a full blown affair.

Probably saves her a job anyway.

[Bluesgirl]

Maybe she's happy with her regular private sessions with the PT at the gym.

[Superflow]

Monkeylegend said:

What we don't know is maybe OP's wife knows what he is doing and is prepared to accept the situation as long as the family stays together. It's not quite the same as a full blown affair.

Probably saves her a job anyway.

Yes ML i think my wife knows more than she lets on,what with decline in our physical relations,i think there maybe a level of acceptance possibly.

[Superflow]

Inigma said:

You need to wine them and dine them, oh and buy them little gifts to make them feel special.

To me the fact you pay for it is not an issue, the way you spin the lies and deceit to you wife and family is cowardly.

There are no lies,as there is no conversation.

[Monkeylegend]

Superflow said:

Monkeylegend said:

What we don't know is maybe OP's wife knows what he is doing and is prepared to accept the situation as long as the family stays together. It's not quite the same as a full blown affair.

Probably saves her a job anyway.

Yes ML i think my wife knows more than she lets on,what with decline in our physical relations,i think there maybe a level of acceptance possibly.

I think you biggest mistake is talking about it on here.

If it's not harming anybody I don't really see the issue. God I am going to hell for saying that

[Kermit power]

stuartmmcfc said:

Treating women and sex as a commodity doesn't sit easily with me tbh.

Maybe it's the combination of the two which is part of a problem which society needs to fix?

The fundamental first point I hope everyone would agree on is that if a woman is engaged in such a profession out of anything other than 100% free will, then it's wrong and should be stopped, but if she is, why does society have such a problem with it?

If someone (of any gender) wishes to make money with their body, why shouldn't they? If we completely legalised it, regulated it and de-stigmatised it, it would be much easier to keep people safe, in much the same way that legalising and regulating the illegal drugs trade could have plenty of benefits for everyone except the criminal gangs currently making a fortune from it.

Being philosophical about these things, I think society's problem is that we link sex directly to romance and relationships. If you're single, have plenty of disposable cash but don't have the time/inclination/ability to pull anyone you'd really want, then why should there be a stigma to paying for it from time to time?

Equally, how many marriages are there out there which are mostly happy, but being slowly torn apart because one spouse has a desperate craving, just now and again, for a partner to use the whole chicken with them, but their other half just can't bring themselves to do it? In that sort of situation, a monthly visit to a chicken farm might be the difference between perfect marriage or festering breakdown, but how many would be prepared to even raise the notion, despite the fact that we can't change our kinks any more than we can change our sexuality?

[Superflow]

techiedave said:

The Op[ is talking jack and making stuff up
He is painting TV type picture of escort women
Reality is foreign birds noshing you for £40 £20 of that that goes back on the wire to Poland or Romania or wherever
Then theres the smack heads and the coke heads

Dave really? You can't be that naive.You describe a foreign run brothel, not £150 per hour self employed escorts with day jobs,different things.

[Monkeylegend]

Kermit power said:

one spouse has a desperate craving, just now and again, for a partner to use the whole chicken with them, but their other half just can't bring themselves to do it? In that sort of situation, a monthly visit to a chicken farm might be the difference between perfect marriage

I know I am old but should I know what this means. I feel like I am missing something good here and doing cold turkey.

[Superflow]

jdw100 said:

For a start you ought to be able to properly spell your wife's profession.

Secondly, a friend of mine (in her 40s) is an escort.

She has no terrible back story and is a lovely lady and a good mother to her son.

I would say though that she has a very high sex drive and has enjoyed much of her work. In recent years she's got more into photography (taking the photos) and also into producing porn films.

I've met one of her friends that she (ahem) works closely with sometimes...not someone who has been forced in to it either.

To pre-empt comments - no of course I haven't as she's a mate. Have heard very interesting stories over beers though..!

Interesting stuff.Have you ever used an escort for sex in your past?

[Shnozz]

Wobbegong said:

I used to manage the bar at a strip club and most of the strippers were either in well paying jobs

I have no idea how they manage that unless they only worked weekends. I have stripper friends and the hours they work makes them effectively nocturnal, plus after work they tend to want to party most nights so its not even straight to bed at 4/5 am post closure. Generally all a very intelligent, fun bunch and usually street-smart, but unless they sack off work (which they do regularly on a whim) then the hours are actually massively anti-social both to join us on nights out (unless they turn up at 4am.>) and not conducive to holding down any sort of normal day job either.

[johnwilliams77]

Shnozz said:

I have no idea how they manage that unless they only worked weekends. I have stripper friends and the hours they work makes them effectively nocturnal, plus after work they tend to want to party most nights so its not even straight to bed at 4/5 am post closure. Generally all a very intelligent, fun bunch and usually street-smart, but unless they sack off work (which they do regularly on a whim) then the hours are actually massively anti-social both to join us on nights out (unless they turn up at 4am.>) and not conducive to holding down any sort of normal day job either.

Day job then strip on Fri/Sat till 5am/6am, plenty of people stay up that late at weekend and 'recover' on Sundays.

[LocoCoco]

Superflow said:

techiedave said:

The Op[ is talking jack and making stuff up
He is painting TV type picture of escort women
Reality is foreign birds noshing you for £40 £20 of that that goes back on the wire to Poland or Romania or wherever
Then theres the smack heads and the coke heads

Dave really? You can't be that naive.You describe a foreign run brothel, not £150 per hour self employed escorts with day jobs,different things.

I agree, Dave doesn't know wtf he's on about.

You say you get girls through an agency though. Are they still classed as self-employed?

[LocoCoco]

johnwilliams77 said:

Shnozz said:

I have no idea how they manage that unless they only worked weekends. I have stripper friends and the hours they work makes them effectively nocturnal, plus after work they tend to want to party most nights so its not even straight to bed at 4/5 am post closure. Generally all a very intelligent, fun bunch and usually street-smart, but unless they sack off work (which they do regularly on a whim) then the hours are actually massively anti-social both to join us on nights out (unless they turn up at 4am.>) and not conducive to holding down any sort of normal day job either.

Day job then strip on Fri/Sat till 5am/6am, plenty of people stay up that late at weekend and 'recover' on Sundays.

Lots of girls work 9-5 jobs then "tour" the country on the weekends ie book a hotel/holiday apartment for the weekend and work from there.

[AstonZagato]

Superflow said:

Inigma said:

You need to wine them and dine them, oh and buy them little gifts to make them feel special.

To me the fact you pay for it is not an issue, the way you spin the lies and deceit to you wife and family is cowardly.

There are no lies,as there is no conversation.

You know your marriage but that doesn't sound healthy.

I've been through that marriage dip. Kids, work, house, stress - all gets in the way of a healthy relationship with the wife (I'm talking both party's interest in the other partner).

If you don't talk about it, it will be terminal for the marriage. It is not an easy conversation but it needs to be had. What you want from the marriage. What she wants from the marriage.

Escorts are not the answer to sorting that out. Conversation might do that. It could save your marriage and mean that your kids grow up in a stable home. Your marriage might not be salvageable but you owe it to your wife and kids to give it a try. Escorts just sort out your sex drive and I'm sure are quite addictive - it is in their interests to make you feel loved/respected/sexy to get you to come back and give them another £500. It is an illusion - but I'm sure it is a pretty realistic illusion.

And, to be very clear, DO NOT confess. Confession is all about clearing your own conscience and has nothing positive for your wife. Perhaps she has strong suspicions already. But she wants "plausible deniability". She does not want certainty that you have cheated on her. That will not end well.

[johnwilliams77]

AstonZagato said:

You know your marriage but that doesn't sound healthy.

I've been through that marriage dip. Kids, work, house, stress - all gets in the way of a healthy relationship with the wife (I'm talking both party's interest in the other partner).

If you don't talk about it, it will be terminal for the marriage. It is not an easy conversation but it needs to be had. What you want from the marriage. What she wants from the marriage.

Escorts are not the answer to sorting that out. Conversation might do that. It could save your marriage and mean that your kids grow up in a stable home. Your marriage might not be salvageable but you owe it to your wife and kids to give it a try. Escorts just sort out your sex drive and I'm sure are quite addictive - it is in their interests to make you feel loved/respected/sexy to get you to come back and give them another £500. It is an illusion - but I'm sure it is a pretty realistic illusion.

And, to be very clear, DO NOT confess. Confession is all about clearing your own conscience and has nothing positive for your wife. Perhaps she has strong suspicions already. But she wants "plausible deniability". She does not want certainty that you have cheated on her. That will not end well.

Most sensible post yet. Listen to this man.

[Shnozz]

johnwilliams77 said:

Day job then strip on Fri/Sat till 5am/6am, plenty of people stay up that late at weekend and 'recover' on Sundays.

Fair point. All of those I know do it full time. If you have no qualms about the role itself why bother with a £150/day job and losing your valued weekends to stripping. You can earn £250 cash in hand a night Mon-Fri so it seems an odd part time role if you are comfortable doing what they do as I would be bold enough to say they are mostly unlikely to match the hourly rate in a more traditional profession.

As a part time/student job with a focus on getting out, perhaps. As a profession choice I would have thought it would be better just to fill the coffers as much as possible whilst you can.

[Boring_Chris]

thainy77 said:

Boring_Chris said:

You've taken it quite personally?

No i just think it's a ish thing to do, is it difficult to comprehend that?

I can comprehend it just fine. But you seem disproportionately angry over some stuff you read on 'The Internet'.

Something on your mind?

[AstonZagato]

Kermit power said:

The fundamental first point I hope everyone would agree on is that if a woman is engaged in such a profession out of anything other than 100% free will, then it's wrong and should be stopped, but if she is, why does society have such a problem with it?

Quite

Kermit power said:

If someone (of any gender) wishes to make money with their body, why shouldn't they?

Agreed. Men (and a very few women) can make money from their physical attributes and skills in roles that are not stigmatised - footballers, boxers, soldiers even. There are other skills that people are prepared to pay for and I'm not sure that society should ever try to get involved with what happens behind closed doors between consenting adults.

Kermit power said:

If we completely legalised it, regulated it and de-stigmatised it, it would be much easier to keep people safe, in much the same way that legalising and regulating the illegal drugs trade could have plenty of benefits for everyone except the criminal gangs currently making a fortune from it.

I believe that it is legal already in the UK. IANAL but I think that neither party in the transaction is committing a crime, assuming the sex worker has not been trafficked. The bits that are illegal are the trafficking, pimping, "living off immoral earnings", groups of sex workers living in a brothel. Not sure that any changes need to be made there except for the last one - allowing the workers to create groups for their own safety might improve their lot. Having seen a documentary about a brothel in Nevada, it didn't look like legalising it was a great gain for the workers.

[AyBee]

I have no issues with you using strippers, but you're essentially playing God with your wife's future with regard to if/when you bother to tell her the marriage is over. Does she not deserve better?

ETA: Apt username on photobucket