Naughtiest things you did as a child
Discussion
Earliest..?
Left a bee on a teachers chair to see what would happen when she sat on it. Aged 7
She saw the bee and demanded to know who did it. Gutted... I decided that it would be now fun to fess up and see what happened.
This surprised her and s
t did indeed hit the fan. But not too bad so...
I got worse from there on in.
Left a bee on a teachers chair to see what would happen when she sat on it. Aged 7
She saw the bee and demanded to know who did it. Gutted... I decided that it would be now fun to fess up and see what happened.
This surprised her and s
t did indeed hit the fan. But not too bad so...I got worse from there on in.
Not sure if its really worthy of its own thread, but what about "Teachers (or similar) who had a level of rage entirely out of proportion to the seriousness of the situation?"
Complete apoplexy for a football kicked over a fence from the year 5/6 playground into the "juniors" playground at my primary school - how dare we be so inconsiderate, think of the children etc - but at a time when the "juniors" weren't even in the playground at the time? I remember my friend Martin having a letter written home from the headmistress to his parents about this matter, and me trying to defend him to his mum got ME in trouble as well because the teacher overheard me!
Complete apoplexy for a football kicked over a fence from the year 5/6 playground into the "juniors" playground at my primary school - how dare we be so inconsiderate, think of the children etc - but at a time when the "juniors" weren't even in the playground at the time? I remember my friend Martin having a letter written home from the headmistress to his parents about this matter, and me trying to defend him to his mum got ME in trouble as well because the teacher overheard me!
crispian22 said:
As a child,I accidentally set fire to one of my brother's with some petrol we had siphoned from the lawn mower,I figured,in blind panic,that throwing more petrol on his trouser leg that was on fire, would somehow extinguish the flames.
He squealed like a pig.
Is your brother called Ian by any chance?He squealed like a pig.
Riley Blue said:
Not 'naughty' exactly (well perhaps) but damned stupid - we (me and a gang of seven year olds) used to sneak through the sand dunes north of Mablethorpe to the bombing range at RAF Theddlethorpe and sit and watch aircraft shooting up the targets a few hundred yards away. We were chased off when seen but always went back.
I used to run round Salisbury plain, often along the edge of fields that didn't have footpaths just finding my own way. One day I ended up somewhere with a long line of tanks, lorries and all sorts thundering past. I tried acting like I knew what I was doing and just kept walking until I ended up being detained in a guard's hut. Someone presumably more senior came along to question where I'd got through a physical barrier, which I hadn't. Then I did a really bad job of pretending I didn't quite know my address or phone number until they dropped me off somewhere I could find my way home from. Never did tell my parents.
I put cocaine in grandpa's snuff. You should have seen him in the potting shed an hour later......
In reality I did get up to more than my fair share of mischief, mainly pyromanial antics. Setting fire to the science lab (accidentally). Mr Moss was the teacher, he was equally insane. Chemistry lessons were fun with Mr Brickwell and Dr Broomhead, I owe it to Mr Brickwell for my interest in explosives, and then chemistry in its entirety. Probably wouldn't be where I am today without Brikkie.
Bought several pounds of hemp seed and scattered it around the school and in the plants in the biology labs. Special school assembly with the headmaster Mr Fawbert going ape st, and then a lecture from Mr Rawlings to the whole of the year group. In my defence I assumed that only 1% of the seeds would sprout but for 6 months before anyone twigged, the plants grew quite nicely. I suspect many of the older kids had already harvested the stuff for 'personal' use.
Obligatory tub of persil in the fountain at the top of town, the giant white slug of foam snaking down the hill at 3am.
Other minor things all in the pursuit of knowledge. Wax crayons, irrespective of colour, all produce copious volumes of black smoke when inserted into electrical radiators. Cherry bombs when flushed down the toilet don't do drains any good.
Probably the best one was when O-block had the roof done. Science labs on ground floor, English rooms above. The vent for the fume cupboard in S11 (science room) was basically a hole in the roof. Roofing people, noticing an indistinct hole, simply patched it up and tarred over the top, ensuring anything that went in the fume cupboard vented in to the upstairs english rooms. Of all the noxious things I could have done, I chose heating ammonium nitrate and waiting for the classroom above to fill with laughing gas.
I suspect the pinnacle of achievement was in design and technology. The brief was to design some apparatus for 'play time', with various buzzwords of "fun" and "pleasure" dotted around the page with pictures of swings, roundabouts and skateboards. Inevitably, the whole class designed aforementioned monkey bars, swings, roundabouts and Sega mega drives. I, on the other hand, designed a medieval style racking machine with posterior trap door, hinged for easy rotation to facilitate botty spanking. In my defence, it fulfilled the design brief but getting a right royal bking from Mr Hardie about appropriate design whilst he was evidently trying to suppress rapturous laughter was a highlight. Particularly when he said it had no redeeming design features, to which I disagreed and pointed out the integrated botty spanking paddles, which I had also designed. I'm still at a loss as to why that comment pushed him over the edge but that was the first time I had seen a grown man cry with laughter. Perhaps it was the way I so calmly and innocently added that the 'ergonomic design of the handles of the spanking paddles also fulfilled the educational attainment requirement stipulated in the syllabus'. I can't remember precisely, I was about 14 and had just designed a lean mean sex machine.....
There's quite a few more, but I'll have to get back to you about those....
In reality I did get up to more than my fair share of mischief, mainly pyromanial antics. Setting fire to the science lab (accidentally). Mr Moss was the teacher, he was equally insane. Chemistry lessons were fun with Mr Brickwell and Dr Broomhead, I owe it to Mr Brickwell for my interest in explosives, and then chemistry in its entirety. Probably wouldn't be where I am today without Brikkie.
Bought several pounds of hemp seed and scattered it around the school and in the plants in the biology labs. Special school assembly with the headmaster Mr Fawbert going ape s
t, and then a lecture from Mr Rawlings to the whole of the year group. In my defence I assumed that only 1% of the seeds would sprout but for 6 months before anyone twigged, the plants grew quite nicely. I suspect many of the older kids had already harvested the stuff for 'personal' use.Obligatory tub of persil in the fountain at the top of town, the giant white slug of foam snaking down the hill at 3am.
Other minor things all in the pursuit of knowledge. Wax crayons, irrespective of colour, all produce copious volumes of black smoke when inserted into electrical radiators. Cherry bombs when flushed down the toilet don't do drains any good.
Probably the best one was when O-block had the roof done. Science labs on ground floor, English rooms above. The vent for the fume cupboard in S11 (science room) was basically a hole in the roof. Roofing people, noticing an indistinct hole, simply patched it up and tarred over the top, ensuring anything that went in the fume cupboard vented in to the upstairs english rooms. Of all the noxious things I could have done, I chose heating ammonium nitrate and waiting for the classroom above to fill with laughing gas.
I suspect the pinnacle of achievement was in design and technology. The brief was to design some apparatus for 'play time', with various buzzwords of "fun" and "pleasure" dotted around the page with pictures of swings, roundabouts and skateboards. Inevitably, the whole class designed aforementioned monkey bars, swings, roundabouts and Sega mega drives. I, on the other hand, designed a medieval style racking machine with posterior trap door, hinged for easy rotation to facilitate botty spanking. In my defence, it fulfilled the design brief but getting a right royal b
king from Mr Hardie about appropriate design whilst he was evidently trying to suppress rapturous laughter was a highlight. Particularly when he said it had no redeeming design features, to which I disagreed and pointed out the integrated botty spanking paddles, which I had also designed. I'm still at a loss as to why that comment pushed him over the edge but that was the first time I had seen a grown man cry with laughter. Perhaps it was the way I so calmly and innocently added that the 'ergonomic design of the handles of the spanking paddles also fulfilled the educational attainment requirement stipulated in the syllabus'. I can't remember precisely, I was about 14 and had just designed a lean mean sex machine.....There's quite a few more, but I'll have to get back to you about those....
I was an awful child. Always in trouble.
Worst was de-coring two bangers, filling one with bike hub ball bearings & the charge from the other banger, reassembling it, taping up with black tape.
Taping it to a mini rocket, lighting both & letting them go through the letterbox of a hated house master.
Worst was de-coring two bangers, filling one with bike hub ball bearings & the charge from the other banger, reassembling it, taping up with black tape.
Taping it to a mini rocket, lighting both & letting them go through the letterbox of a hated house master.
I remember when I was about 14 I was in the car with my dad and we were talking about these under 17 driving things. I made a comment that it would be quite fun to see how easy it was to drive a car and he said
"it's not that simple, you don't think you can just get in a car and drive it do you?"
Well I did think that, so one day when my parents were out but my mum's car was still in the garage I decided to test my theory.
Opened the garage, reversed the car out onto the driveway, reversed onto our street and drove up and down our street a couple of times before anyone got home from work/school. (Our school finished at 2.30 on Wednesdays). Put the car back in the garage afterwards and job was a good un! (This was a manual Clio).
Problem was our neighbour had watched the whole thing and ended up telling my dad. I honestly got the bking of a lifetime. Amusingly though once I was about halfway into my time of being grounded, my dad saw our neighbour in the supermarket and actually asked her if I'd done a reasonably good job! It was only about a year later he told me that and apparently I'd done pretty well 
"it's not that simple, you don't think you can just get in a car and drive it do you?"
Well I did think that, so one day when my parents were out but my mum's car was still in the garage I decided to test my theory.
Opened the garage, reversed the car out onto the driveway, reversed onto our street and drove up and down our street a couple of times before anyone got home from work/school. (Our school finished at 2.30 on Wednesdays). Put the car back in the garage afterwards and job was a good un! (This was a manual Clio).
Problem was our neighbour had watched the whole thing and ended up telling my dad. I honestly got the b
king of a lifetime. Amusingly though once I was about halfway into my time of being grounded, my dad saw our neighbour in the supermarket and actually asked her if I'd done a reasonably good job! It was only about a year later he told me that and apparently I'd done pretty well We knew the girl contingent of our group of friends was returning to our village from a day out in town on a specific train. We decided to give them a surprise. We used to hang around on a disused industrial site through which the train line ran. We found an old pair of paper overalls, the kind car sprayers wear and proceeded to drape them over a rudimentary stick skeleton we had constructed on the train line. Even had its hand raised in a fairly convincing 'stop' pose. The inevitable happened when the train came and hit the figure. I have never seen st escalate so quickly before or since. I swear there were blue flashing lights materialising from thin air.
t escalate so quickly before or since. I swear there were blue flashing lights materialising from thin air. 
Squadrone Rosso said:
I was an awful child. Always in trouble.
Worst was de-coring two bangers, filling one with bike hub ball bearings & the charge from the other banger, reassembling it, taping up with black tape.
Taping it to a mini rocket, lighting both & letting them go through the letterbox of a hated house master.
A mini pipe bomb, then? fWorst was de-coring two bangers, filling one with bike hub ball bearings & the charge from the other banger, reassembling it, taping up with black tape.
Taping it to a mini rocket, lighting both & letting them go through the letterbox of a hated house master.
king hell!RC1807 said:
Squadrone Rosso said:
I was an awful child. Always in trouble.
Worst was de-coring two bangers, filling one with bike hub ball bearings & the charge from the other banger, reassembling it, taping up with black tape.
Taping it to a mini rocket, lighting both & letting them go through the letterbox of a hated house master.
A mini pipe bomb, then? fWorst was de-coring two bangers, filling one with bike hub ball bearings & the charge from the other banger, reassembling it, taping up with black tape.
Taping it to a mini rocket, lighting both & letting them go through the letterbox of a hated house master.
king hell!RC1807 said:
It wasn't the name that concerned me, more what the damage/injuries could have been.
Still, you owned up to it on a t'interweb forum, so it's all absolved now
Some of the things we did genuinely bother me.Still, you owned up to it on a t'interweb forum, so it's all absolved now
If there is heaven or hell, I reckon it'll be warm where I go.
I've spent all of my adult life trying to cancel out my younger wrongs.
I came to my senses when I was 11 too. Well, more or less
Drank a full bottle of Cough Medicine when about 2 Also ate paint at a similar age.
Big old genie on the front door step. Dad's face was a picture.
While unloading the car after a holiday I pulled back and fired at my dad's head one of the elasticated luggage straps, breaking his new sunglasses.
Destroyed a big old pile of hay bales belonging to Tory Minister Nick Budgen.
Made and threw petrol bombs at each other when about 10.
Opened and grabbed hold of top of one the doors on a moving slam door train, swinging in the breeze.
Big old genie on the front door step. Dad's face was a picture.
While unloading the car after a holiday I pulled back and fired at my dad's head one of the elasticated luggage straps, breaking his new sunglasses.
Destroyed a big old pile of hay bales belonging to Tory Minister Nick Budgen.
Made and threw petrol bombs at each other when about 10.
Opened and grabbed hold of top of one the doors on a moving slam door train, swinging in the breeze.
The big winter of 1978. I was 8 and one morning was expectantly listening to BBC local radio to see if our school would be closed because of the snow.
It was a semi-rural location and scores of surrounding schools were shutting.
I called the radio station in secret from the 'phone in my Dad's study. A hassled woman answered and I explained that I was Mr Henderson the headmaster's son. (I wasn't obviously) and that he was very busy with all the snow but he'd asked me to tell them the school would be closed today - and I decided on the spur of the moment - the next day too. The hassled woman at the radio station didn't question me and she abruptly ended the call with, 'OK thanks.'
I assumed I'd not be believed but a few minutes later it was announced on the BBC that our school would be shut today and tomorrow.
Blimey! My Dad had overheard the conversation. He trudged through the snow with me to school where we found a handful of kids and one seriously angry head.
For the rest of my time at that school my Dad held this over me whenever I wouldn't do as I was told.
Years later I became a radio journalist. By then stations had passwords that schools would give you when they had to close. Now and then I'd get a hoax call from a kid claiming their school
was shut, but with no password, they'd never get far.
As a reporter I was once sent to my old school when the village was hit by floods. The school was closed but I found the head - a different chap. I interviewed him about the floods and confessed.
It was a semi-rural location and scores of surrounding schools were shutting.
I called the radio station in secret from the 'phone in my Dad's study. A hassled woman answered and I explained that I was Mr Henderson the headmaster's son. (I wasn't obviously) and that he was very busy with all the snow but he'd asked me to tell them the school would be closed today - and I decided on the spur of the moment - the next day too. The hassled woman at the radio station didn't question me and she abruptly ended the call with, 'OK thanks.'
I assumed I'd not be believed but a few minutes later it was announced on the BBC that our school would be shut today and tomorrow.
Blimey! My Dad had overheard the conversation. He trudged through the snow with me to school where we found a handful of kids and one seriously angry head.
For the rest of my time at that school my Dad held this over me whenever I wouldn't do as I was told.
Years later I became a radio journalist. By then stations had passwords that schools would give you when they had to close. Now and then I'd get a hoax call from a kid claiming their school
was shut, but with no password, they'd never get far.
As a reporter I was once sent to my old school when the village was hit by floods. The school was closed but I found the head - a different chap. I interviewed him about the floods and confessed.
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