Donation-based Crowdfunding: Begging?

[Saleen836]

This popped up on a local FB page this morning...

[Vocal Minority]

Saleen836 said:

This popped up on a local FB page this morning...

Yes its PH and we like to mock and belittle anyone who cannot buy a brand new car for cash - but some people (usually, but not exclusively, women) do come out of abusive relationships (hard in the first place) without a pot to piss in - and if their husband (usually but not exclusively it is a husband) has been even a bit controlling they will have ZERO credit history or financial ability of their own.

When they say 'make a home' - rather than silly stencils to write 'love, life, laughter' on the wall - they usually just mean 'a bed for the kids', 'a sofa', 'a working stove'

My fiance works with enough of them, and there really is no short term help, and charity is their only hope.


Once in a while PH should stop sneering at others for fun and get their head out of the bubble.

[ApOrbital]

Well said vocal,can you lend me £20.

[Vocal Minority]

Absolutely

Don't spend it all at once





It may not stand up to well to those UV light things

[Glassman]

The reason we're so judgemental/weary of such pleas is you can't tell a sob story from a real one. But the real ones, they're real because someone wants to make their house nice and is a good person (with the added emotion of historical abuse thrown in). Woe betide if you go in with a real response which encourages them to try something other than begging.

[Vocal Minority]

Glassman said:

The reason we're so judgemental/weary of such pleas is you can't tell a sob story from a real one. But the real ones, they're real because someone wants to make their house nice and is a good person (with the added emotion of historical abuse thrown in). Woe betide if you go in with a real response which encourages them to try something other than begging.

I agree it can be difficult to tell scammers apart from genuine cases. I agree about a lot of cases on here - they are blagging luxuries not necessities.

However, 'try something other than begging' - firstly, I think we can probably distinguish between begging as is meant here and a genuine request for help.

Sometimes, these women do literally have no choice. What route would you encourage them down?

Edited by Vocal Minority on Wednesday 18th July 14:42

[Glassman]

Vocal Minority said:

I agree it can be difficult to tell scammers apart from genuine cases. I agree about a lot of cases on here - they are blagging luxuries not necessities.

However, 'try something other than begging' - firstly, I think we can probably distinguish between begging as is meant here and a genuine request for help.

Sometimes, these women do literally have no choice. What route would you encourage them down?

There is no way of validating this person's claim, especially as there is no name to refer to (all the posts come under 'Spotted in Trowbridge). Perhaps I'm being cynical about the whole thing but you appear to have taken it all at face value.

Spotted in Trowbridge said:

Please can anybody help I have had a major disaster and really need to loan lend borrow some money does anybody have any help or ideas. I recently come out of a domestic abusive relationship and need 300 to make our house into a home for me and my children. I'm a respectable single mum who has had a hell of a few years I would do anything to help anyone. I don't like to ask for help or come across desperate or needy but I really want to make our home looking nice nobody seems to touch me due to my ex partner running up lots of bills and depth I am paying all back but just have no etc money for emergencies like this. Does anybody no any help or depth company's I tried provident payday loans studio etc will no luck at all.

A disaster. Something really bad, right? But she goes straight into specifying an amount. That is immediately followed with a snippet of 'coming out of an abusive relationship' but the 300-quid is to make her house "into a home" for her and her children. Still no indication of what the 'disaster' might be but she goes on to reiterate that she just wants to make her home, "looking nice". After her outgoings (which she attributes to her ex partner) she has nothing left for "emergencies like this".

So what emergency would that be? The walls are covered in Super Fresco wallpaper?

But she doesn't want to come across as desperate or needy because she would do anything to help anyone.

Delivery of plea forgiven, but content: nope. Too many holes, so I'm out.

Edited: the responses appear to be from people who seem to be quite familiar with how and where to get such help from.

[The Selfish Gene]

it's begging - the HMRC have taken all my spare begging money..........so anyone that needs any should ask them

[Sa Calobra]

No different to chucking a quid into a drug addicts begging pot.

The donator feels good about themselves.

The receiver thinks they are getting a gift and it'll be alright for them.

[Vocal Minority]

Glassman said:

Vocal Minority said:

I agree it can be difficult to tell scammers apart from genuine cases. I agree about a lot of cases on here - they are blagging luxuries not necessities.

However, 'try something other than begging' - firstly, I think we can probably distinguish between begging as is meant here and a genuine request for help.

Sometimes, these women do literally have no choice. What route would you encourage them down?

There is no way of validating this person's claim, especially as there is no name to refer to (all the posts come under 'Spotted in Trowbridge). Perhaps I'm being cynical about the whole thing but you appear to have taken it all at face value.

Spotted in Trowbridge said:

Please can anybody help I have had a major disaster and really need to loan lend borrow some money does anybody have any help or ideas. I recently come out of a domestic abusive relationship and need 300 to make our house into a home for me and my children. I'm a respectable single mum who has had a hell of a few years I would do anything to help anyone. I don't like to ask for help or come across desperate or needy but I really want to make our home looking nice nobody seems to touch me due to my ex partner running up lots of bills and depth I am paying all back but just have no etc money for emergencies like this. Does anybody no any help or depth company's I tried provident payday loans studio etc will no luck at all.

A disaster. Something really bad, right? But she goes straight into specifying an amount. That is immediately followed with a snippet of 'coming out of an abusive relationship' but the 300-quid is to make her house "into a home" for her and her children. Still no indication of what the 'disaster' might be but she goes on to reiterate that she just wants to make her home, "looking nice". After her outgoings (which she attributes to her ex partner) she has nothing left for "emergencies like this".

So what emergency would that be? The walls are covered in Super Fresco wallpaper?

But she doesn't want to come across as desperate or needy because she would do anything to help anyone.

Delivery of plea forgiven, but content: nope. Too many holes, so I'm out.

Edited: the responses appear to be from people who seem to be quite familiar with how and where to get such help from.

We don't have enough information about the individual to make the call to be cynical in my opinion - they may just be a poor writer.

Who is to say posting was the wrong thing to do, as people are pointing her in the direction of someone who could help. The town I live in has a 'town name is kind' page - which hooks people in need up with stuff they are in need of. They get in touch with people, say on facebook, the charity go and meet them and see what they can do.

Maybe because of my fiance's work, I have enough exposure (not directly its all strictly confidential) to knowing how much it happens - but it seems to me the default PH setting is 'they are after my stuff! everyone is after my stuff' - because not mentioning anyone specifically but there is an undercurrent on PH that 'my assets and my stuff' is king.

My point anyway is that many imho assume people are up to something and trying to pinch their possessions far too readily - IMHO she did the right thing posting there as she has been pointed in the direction of people who will want to help (but who they also won't get far with if they are fleecing).

I mean it's not like she was saying 'little jaxon needs new top of the line football boots or his mate will laugh at him' - which seems to be the level of some

[hyphen]

Vocal Minority said:

Saleen836 said:

This popped up on a local FB page this morning...

Yes its PH and we like to mock and belittle anyone who cannot buy a brand new car for cash - but some people (usually, but not exclusively, women) do come out of abusive relationships (hard in the first place) without a pot to piss in - and if their husband (usually but not exclusively it is a husband) has been even a bit controlling they will have ZERO credit history or financial ability of their own.

When they say 'make a home' - rather than silly stencils to write 'love, life, laughter' on the wall - they usually just mean 'a bed for the kids', 'a sofa', 'a working stove'

My fiance works with enough of them, and there really is no short term help, and charity is their only hope.


Once in a while PH should stop sneering at others for fun and get their head out of the bubble.

She wants £300 to make her home "look nice" and regards this as an "emergency"

She has a roof over her head, the emergency part is over...

A 'respectable' person, that she claims to be, wouldn't dream of airing their laundry in public neither. They would seek help from their own network or even go to citizens advice and so on.

Edited by hyphen on Wednesday 18th July 23:08

[Vocal Minority]

hyphen said:

A 'respectable' person, that she claims to be, wouldn't dream of airing their laundry in public neither. They would seek help from their own network or even go to citizens advice and so on.

Edited by hyphen on Wednesday 18th July 23:08

A will refer you back to my earlier comment about people on PH living in a bubble

[Jimmy No Hands]

Partners cousin is notorious for this; will start up a JustGiving (or equivalent) for things such as travel; or buying expensive house hold items. She knows her very generous family, at least most of the older generation, will always donate. Winds me up something rotten.

[hyphen]

Vocal Minority said:

hyphen said:

A 'respectable' person, that she claims to be, wouldn't dream of airing their laundry in public neither. They would seek help from their own network or even go to citizens advice and so on.

Edited by hyphen on Wednesday 18th July 23:08

A will refer you back to my earlier comment about people on PH living in a bubble

Yes, because everyone on PH grew up upper middle class as a minimum, and have experienced nothing else

[Sa Calobra]

Only Z listers and narcissists air their laundry in public.

Everyone else regardless of class has their private lives.

[ChemicalChaos]

Man without travel insurance jumps into swimming pool and breaks neck, partner sets up begging page to get him back home for treatment.

Whatever happened to personal responsibility?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5981549/To...

[Glassman]

“It’s All Gone”: Couple Spent Homeless Man’s $400,000 GoFundMe Cash:

https://theantimedia.com/homeless-johnny-bobbit-go...

[djcube]

The area I presently live in has a social media page, through that I noticed a GFM request for some money to enable a Mum and Dad to by some piece of equipment their disabled child desperately needed. Not a huge sum needed, about £1500. This was duly raised inside a couple of weeks. The equipment was ordered and duly delivered. Photos all over social media, those who donated no doubt felt good about it. Until someone pointed out a that two weeks after the money had been raised Mummy went away for a one week cookery course. Then, after that they had a family holiday abroad. Then daddy, being a keen cyclist bought a new bike.

Unsurprisingly the locals sympathetic attitude change to one of almost hate. They tried to justify there reasoning for the crowd funding approach. They seemed to have no idea where they went wrong!

[Spare tyre]

djcube said:

The area I presently live in has a social media page, through that I noticed a GFM request for some money to enable a Mum and Dad to by some piece of equipment their disabled child desperately needed. Not a huge sum needed, about £1500. This was duly raised inside a couple of weeks. The equipment was ordered and duly delivered. Photos all over social media, those who donated no doubt felt good about it. Until someone pointed out a that two weeks after the money had been raised Mummy went away for a one week cookery course. Then, after that they had a family holiday abroad. Then daddy, being a keen cyclist bought a new bike.

Unsurprisingly the locals sympathetic attitude change to one of almost hate. They tried to justify there reasoning for the crowd funding approach. They seemed to have no idea where they went wrong!

My sister in law is the same, never any money for essentials like mot, tyres, other boring stuff

But can afford to blow 25 quid on couple of bath bombs or some other frivolous nonsense that will last a few hours

[amare32]

Any people who crowd fund a bunch of strangers they don't know then find out further down the line that they've been duped is a muppet.

Charity begins at home.