A bit council (Vol 3)

[mfmman]

bob-lad said:

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Wiccan of Darkness said:

... But my mum does boot sales and can spot a bargain a mile off - as such she has 12 crates of Worcester porcelein in the garage. All from boot sales, all paid 50p or less for each item.

What does she plan to do with these 12 crates of unwanted crockery?

Some sort of coconut shy at the village fete ?

Single use reversing alarm?

[Dog Star]

Digga said:

Alucidnation said:

http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/16182619.Couple_ca...

Shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted = public sector

Banging in a library = well... not totally sure it's council. Would 'council be in a library in the first place?

I dunno; when I was in my late teens I and my then GF were at it almost everywhere - if I walk around town now it's like there, over there, in there, against that wall etc etc even in the passport photo booth in Boots (cue outraged queue of tutting people outside). Never thought about doing it in the library, but I would've.

[schmunk]

Dog Star said:

even in the passport photo booth in Boots (cue outraged queue of tutting people outside).

Chinny reckon.

[V8mate]

schmunk said:

Dog Star said:

even in the passport photo booth in Boots (cue outraged queue of tutting people outside).

Chinny reckon.

Don't judge others by your own sheltered life experience.

We've all fisted a bird in the loos in Maccy Ds, right?

[nicanary]

V8mate said:

schmunk said:

Dog Star said:

even in the passport photo booth in Boots (cue outraged queue of tutting people outside).

Chinny reckon.

Don't judge others by your own sheltered life experience.

We've all fisted a bird in the loos in Maccy Ds, right?

Reminds me of David Walliams' bus tour guide pointing out an alleyway and advising the customers " that's the alley where my wife first let me take her up the wrong 'un".

[nonsequitur]

V8mate said:

schmunk said:

Dog Star said:

even in the passport photo booth in Boots (cue outraged queue of tutting people outside).

Chinny reckon.

Don't judge others by your own sheltered life experience.

We've all fisted a bird in the loos in Maccy Ds, right?

Yes. McDunnit.

[nonsequitur]

Alucidnation said:

Digga said:

Alucidnation said:

http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/16182619.Couple_ca...

Banging in a library

As long as it was carried out in complete silence i think that is accaptable. :

[alorotom]

V8mate said:

Don't judge others by your own sheltered life experience.

We've all fisted a bird in the loos in Maccy Ds, right?

[Dog Star]

schmunk said:

Chinny reckon.

I actually still have the photos

[talksthetorque]

nonsequitur said:

Alucidnation said:

Digga said:

Alucidnation said:

http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/16182619.Couple_ca...

Banging in a library

As long as it was carried out in complete silence i think that is accaptable.:

DELETED: Comment made by a member who's account has been deleted.

[Ari]

Dog Star said:

if I walk around town now it's like there, over there, in there, against that wall etc etc even in the passport photo booth in Boots (cue outraged queue of tutting people outside). Never thought about doing it in the library, but I would've.

[kowalski655]

V8mate said:

Don't judge others by your own sheltered life experience.

We've all fisted a bird in the loos in Maccy Ds, right?

Why wait till you get to the toilet?
I have decided against linking to the video of the fat bird getting fingered in McD's, if just for decencys sake

[nonsequitur]

Dog Star said:

Digga said:

Alucidnation said:

http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/16182619.Couple_ca...

Shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted = public sector

Banging in a library = well... not totally sure it's council. Would 'council be in a library in the first place?

even in the passport photo booth in Boots .

Passport photos are required to have a neutral facial expression. How..........

[Wiccan of Darkness]

mfmman said:

bob-lad said:

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Wiccan of Darkness said:

... But my mum does boot sales and can spot a bargain a mile off - as such she has 12 crates of Worcester porcelein in the garage. All from boot sales, all paid 50p or less for each item.

What does she plan to do with these 12 crates of unwanted crockery?

Some sort of coconut shy at the village fete ?

Single use reversing alarm?

Genuine lol at that!! I just think it's a classier way of shuffling off this mortal coil, by being crushed by a stack of worcester porcelein and being buried alive for 3 days cursing the hoarding mentality, as opposed to wandering around the old industrial units by the canal pushing a shopping trolley full of old newspapers as some coked up hoodlums pushes her in to the canal and knocks over the shopping trolley sending old newspapers scattering. The final insult strikes when a fat council worker in a grubby hi-viz idly stabs the rubbish prong through the page with 'Elvis dies at 42' on it.

Yeah. If you're going to be a hoarder as you approach your dotage, at least hoard with class.

Oh and FYI I have never fisted a bird in Macca D's. It has always been a classier venue, Frankie and Benny's or higher. Personal nadir being the creation of a farting noise during a performance of Bizet's Carmen. Lucky it was a private box...... But never McDonalds. Noooooo no no no....

[motco]

Wiccan of Darkness said:

Genuine lol at that!! I just think it's a classier way of shuffling off this mortal coil, by being crushed by a stack of worcester porcelein and being buried alive for 3 days cursing the hoarding mentality, as opposed to wandering around the old industrial units by the canal pushing a shopping trolley full of old newspapers as some coked up hoodlums pushes her in to the canal and knocks over the shopping trolley sending old newspapers scattering. The final insult strikes when a fat council worker in a grubby hi-viz idly stabs the rubbish prong through the page with 'Elvis dies at 42' on it.

Yeah. If you're going to be a hoarder as you approach your dotage, at least hoard with class.

Oh and FYI I have never fisted a bird in Macca D's. It has always been a classier venue, Frankie and Benny's or higher. Personal nadir being the creation of a farting noise during a performance of Bizet's Carmen. Lucky it was a private box...... But never McDonalds. Noooooo no no no....

Beat out that rhythm on your bum...

[AstonZagato]

Digga said:

Alucidnation said:

http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/16182619.Couple_ca...

Shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted = public sector

Banging in a library = well... not totally sure it's council. Would 'council be in a library in the first place?

One of the challenges at Cambridge was to have sex in the University Library. It is surprisingly easy, given the size of the place and how seldom some areas are visited. Allegedly.

[Frank7]

V8mate said:

Don't judge others by your own sheltered life experience.

We've all fisted a bird in the loos in Maccy Ds, right?

I wouldn’t even go in Maccy Ds just for a slash, but I did get a handjob under
the table from a girl in The Bengal Clipper, at Butlers Wharf, Tower Bridge once.

[C70R]

Wildcat45 said:

I'm gripping my Discovery key tight and reminding myself that I have a degree, post graduate qualifications, live in a 500k house that I own outright and that I'm currently studying towards a second degree with more professional qualifications.

Jesus. I've never cringed quite so hard on someone else's behalf before.
Do you really think that is the sort of thing that impresses a group of internet strangers?

[talksthetorque]

C70R said:

Wildcat45 said:

I'm gripping my Discovery key tight and reminding myself that I have a degree, post graduate qualifications, live in a 500k house that I own outright and that I'm currently studying towards a second degree with more professional qualifications.

Jesus. I've never cringed quite so hard on someone else's behalf before.
Do you really think that is the sort of thing that impresses a group of internet strangers?

I’d guess he’s more surprised someone actually took it seriously.

[Wildcat45]

C70R said:

Jesus. I've never cringed quite so hard on someone else's behalf before.
Do you really think that is the sort of thing that impresses a group of internet strangers?

Do you really take stuff on this thread so literally? Have you read this thread and the several previous volumes? It is full of self deprecating humour, and silly jokey OTT opinions.

But (sigh) there's always one. I didn't really grasp my Discovery key. I didn't really make a mental list of my qualifications and house value. I did consider using the chair. I even considered taking a selfie of me using it, but thought better of it. I did however go to Greggs and take the bus home.

Please don't take things so seriously. Please don't try and suck the gentle, and downright silly humour out of life.

I could just tell you to fk off, but as there is good chance you live a lonely single, up tight angry at life existsnce, and bearing in mind you take things literally, I fear you would actually try fking off and fail.

Lack of appreciation of irony. Council.

(If you happen to be on the spectrum and therefore take everything literally then please accept my most sincere sympathies and disregard my assumptions outlined above.)