Juvenile things that make you snigger (Vol. 2)
Discussion
MartG said:
While a friend's car was in getting the crankshaft oil seal replaced, he got a call from the garage..
Garage: "I'm afraid you car won't be ready today, we've hit a bit of a problem"
Friend, with a sinking feeling in his wallet : "Oh, what's up ?"
Garage: "The crank bolt is jammed and we can't get it off. We've already broken our biggest breaker bar and it won't shift"
Friend: "You do know it's a left hand thread don't you ?"
Garage: <silence>
Bloke I worked with was trying to program a CNC machining centre to tap a left handed thread but couldn't get it to work, it kept defaulting to a right handed thread. I asked him to show me the line of code with the tapping cycle and without him noticing edited it and told him to try it.Garage: "I'm afraid you car won't be ready today, we've hit a bit of a problem"
Friend, with a sinking feeling in his wallet : "Oh, what's up ?"
Garage: "The crank bolt is jammed and we can't get it off. We've already broken our biggest breaker bar and it won't shift"
Friend: "You do know it's a left hand thread don't you ?"
Garage: <silence>
Much to his bemusement it worked but he couldn't understand why, he kept on looking at the program and asking me what I'd done but I refused to tell him on the grounds that if he knew that he'd know as much as me.
Two hours later, just before we finished for the day I finally showed him what I'd altered.
Him: How did you know that?
Me: I read the manual on the nightshift last night as I was bored...
Him: You b
d motherfking !!!I still take the piss out of him about it all these years later
MartG said:
While a friend's car was in getting the crankshaft oil seal replaced, he got a call from the garage..
Garage: "I'm afraid you car won't be ready today, we've hit a bit of a problem"
Friend, with a sinking feeling in his wallet : "Oh, what's up ?"
Garage: "The crank bolt is jammed and we can't get it off. We've already broken our biggest breaker bar and it won't shift"
Friend: "You do know it's a left hand thread don't you ?"
Garage: <silence>
That reminds me of, as a very young man, helping a friend remove an engine from a MK1 Escort. One of the bolts was very tight. After some considerable and lengthy effort from both of us it was even tighter. Garage: "I'm afraid you car won't be ready today, we've hit a bit of a problem"
Friend, with a sinking feeling in his wallet : "Oh, what's up ?"
Garage: "The crank bolt is jammed and we can't get it off. We've already broken our biggest breaker bar and it won't shift"
Friend: "You do know it's a left hand thread don't you ?"
Garage: <silence>
Richie C said:
I was reading my son a bedtime story the other night from a book I'd not read before. A Julia Donaldson (of "The Gruffalo" fame) effort about a teddy bear who had fallen out of bed and was unable to climb back in. I can only assume this was due in no small part to one of the bear's legs being, in fact, a penis.
This has me cracking up!!
Olivero said:
$825 Dollars to look foolish!
(but you get free shipping, so that's alright).
nonsequitur said:
Olivero said:
$825 Dollars to look foolish!(but you get free shipping, so that's alright).
glenrobbo said:
nonsequitur said:
Olivero said:
$825 Dollars to look foolish!(but you get free shipping, so that's alright).
MartG said:
While a friend's car was in getting the crankshaft oil seal replaced, he got a call from the garage..
Garage: "I'm afraid you car won't be ready today, we've hit a bit of a problem"
Friend, with a sinking feeling in his wallet : "Oh, what's up ?"
Garage: "The crank bolt is jammed and we can't get it off. We've already broken our biggest breaker bar and it won't shift"
Friend: "You do know it's a left hand thread don't you ?"
Garage: <silence>
Many years ago I took a Citroen BX in for an MOT test - Garage: "I'm afraid you car won't be ready today, we've hit a bit of a problem"
Friend, with a sinking feeling in his wallet : "Oh, what's up ?"
Garage: "The crank bolt is jammed and we can't get it off. We've already broken our biggest breaker bar and it won't shift"
Friend: "You do know it's a left hand thread don't you ?"
Garage: <silence>
MOT Tester: "I am afraid it has failed as the handbrake doesn't stop the wheels turning"
Me: "Did you test the rear wheels"
MOT Tester: "Yes" then silence as the penny drops.
PF62 said:
Many years ago I took a Citroen BX in for an MOT test -
MOT Tester: "I am afraid it has failed as the handbrake doesn't stop the wheels turning"
Me: "Did you test the rear wheels"
MOT Tester: "Yes" then silence as the penny drops.
MOT Tester: "I am afraid it has failed as the handbrake doesn't stop the wheels turning"
Me: "Did you test the rear wheels"
MOT Tester: "Yes" then silence as the penny drops.
Reminded me of a mate who tried to do a handbrake turn in the snow in his Alfasud - went straight on and flattened a lampost
MartG said:
PF62 said:
Many years ago I took a Citroen BX in for an MOT test -
MOT Tester: "I am afraid it has failed as the handbrake doesn't stop the wheels turning"
Me: "Did you test the rear wheels"
MOT Tester: "Yes" then silence as the penny drops.
MOT Tester: "I am afraid it has failed as the handbrake doesn't stop the wheels turning"
Me: "Did you test the rear wheels"
MOT Tester: "Yes" then silence as the penny drops.
Reminded me of a mate who tried to do a handbrake turn in the snow in his Alfasud - went straight on and flattened a lampost
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