Juvenile things that make you snigger (Vol. 2)

[Magnum 475]

talksthetorque said:

For Sale: 66.4 Million Broadband Routers.
New , Still Boxed, First To See Will Buy!
Sneaky marxist spyware still installed
£1,000,000,000 ... No Offers!

Call Jeremy or Diane.

Fixed that for you

[irocfan]

talksthetorque said:

For Sale: 66.4 Million Broadband Routers.
New , Still Boxed, First To See Will Buy!
£1,000,000,000 ... No Offers!

Call Jeremy or Diane.

[irocfan]

yellowjack said:

Yup. Most days are slow days to be fair. I'm retired, after all, so fart-arsing about writing rude words in scented candles fills a few minutes here and there. Next time I go, I'm thinking about turning all the Heinz soup cans around so no-one can see the flavour on the front, only the tiny printed ingredients and heating instructions on the back. Then next week, maybe turn all the top-down ketchup bottles so that the lids are at the top and the labels are upside-down...

do they still sell clockwork timers in shops....

[V8mate]

[talksthetorque]

irocfan said:

yellowjack said:

Yup. Most days are slow days to be fair. I'm retired, after all, so fart-arsing about writing rude words in scented candles fills a few minutes here and there. Next time I go, I'm thinking about turning all the Heinz soup cans around so no-one can see the flavour on the front, only the tiny printed ingredients and heating instructions on the back. Then next week, maybe turn all the top-down ketchup bottles so that the lids are at the top and the labels are upside-down...

do they still sell clockwork timers in shops....

Stand there squeaking all the squeaky toys in Pets At Home.
Also try and play the Blue Danube.
See how long it is before you get thrown out.

[Gary29]

V8mate said:

Is there a better word in the English language?

[irocfan]

talksthetorque said:

irocfan said:

yellowjack said:

Yup. Most days are slow days to be fair. I'm retired, after all, so fart-arsing about writing rude words in scented candles fills a few minutes here and there. Next time I go, I'm thinking about turning all the Heinz soup cans around so no-one can see the flavour on the front, only the tiny printed ingredients and heating instructions on the back. Then next week, maybe turn all the top-down ketchup bottles so that the lids are at the top and the labels are upside-down...

do they still sell clockwork timers in shops....

Stand there squeaking all the squeaky toys in Pets At Home.
Also try and play the Blue Danube.
See how long it is before you get thrown out.

[glenrobbo]

irocfan said:

talksthetorque said:

For Sale: 66.4 Million Broadband Routers.
New , Still Boxed, First To See Will Buy!
£1,000,000,000 ... No Offers!

Call Jeremy or Diane.

Sorry, Diane has miscalculated: the price is actually £2,000,000,000, which is still half the price that Jeremy had negotiated with the suppliers.
Still a bargain!

Note, strictly cash on collection only.

We will not deliver.
( Even though we promised )

[glenrobbo]

Gary29 said:

V8mate said:

Is there a better word in the English language?

snigger?

[glenrobbo]

Such a pity Labour didn't win:

With Diane Abbott as Chancellor of the Exchequer, they could have made Austerity a thing of the future...

[motco]

V8mate said:

Angela Rayner has plenty of it, apparently.

[gtidriver]

irocfan said:

yellowjack said:

Yup. Most days are slow days to be fair. I'm retired, after all, so fart-arsing about writing rude words in scented candles fills a few minutes here and there. Next time I go, I'm thinking about turning all the Heinz soup cans around so no-one can see the flavour on the front, only the tiny printed ingredients and heating instructions on the back. Then next week, maybe turn all the top-down ketchup bottles so that the lids are at the top and the labels are upside-down...

do they still sell clockwork timers in shops....

The Range sells clockwork egg timers.

[dudleybloke]

Unhappy locals!

[irocfan]

gtidriver said:

The Range sells clockwork egg timers.

now that could be some entertainment taken care of this weekend

[dudleybloke]

irocfan said:

gtidriver said:

The Range sells clockwork egg timers.

now that could be some entertainment taken care of this weekend

I do this and also rearrange garden ornamental animals so it looks like they are humping.

[nonsequitur]

yellowjack said:

Yup. Most days are slow days to be fair. I'm retired, after all.

A sort of mellow yellow then?

[Saleen836]

A typo of just one letter can cause people to

[yellowjack]

irocfan said:

yellowjack said:

Yup. Most days are slow days to be fair. I'm retired, after all, so fart-arsing about writing rude words in scented candles fills a few minutes here and there. Next time I go, I'm thinking about turning all the Heinz soup cans around so no-one can see the flavour on the front, only the tiny printed ingredients and heating instructions on the back. Then next week, maybe turn all the top-down ketchup bottles so that the lids are at the top and the labels are upside-down...

do they still sell clockwork timers in shops....

The last few times I've tried it with those, I've had some packaging to defeat first. In places like Tiger Tiger (Flying Tiger now?), and Ikea, etc, they used to just be loose on display. I'd set dozens of them if I could get away with it, at 1 minute intervals. So I'm very sorry, Greta, but it's probably my fault that plastic packaging on cheap plastic Chinese kitchen timers has increased while you try to decrease it...

My wife quite often acts as the Fun Police though, and drags me away lest I "get myself into trouble".

[yellowjack]

[yellowjack]