If PistonHeads was a hotel...
Discussion
t. The lifts would have manual handbrakes because those electronic ones just cant be trusted you know. A record would be kept of every conversation that had ever taken place in the hotel. The method of searching this archive would not work.
However, some people would get very annoyed if anyone ever started a conversation that had been had before, on the basis that they could just look it up.
However, some people would get very annoyed if anyone ever started a conversation that had been had before, on the basis that they could just look it up.
FiF said:
The overflow car park in a farmer's field would definitely not be managed by a 4x4 response group, though there would be one trying to muscle in whilst shouting "comms check" into walkie talkie radios from Poundland.
The Fire Warden would be from the local 4x4 Group, and they would refuse to listen to anyone with actual fire or medical experience on the grounds that they had the hi-vis and therefore they were in charge. A group of goatee-sporting man mountains in the corner of the Lounge bar, lobbying for the right to purchase their room outright as 'renting is a complete waste of money'.
They would no doubt offer advice to less well-heeled guests as to how this may be achieved, such as:
'Get off mumsnet, work harder, MTFU, grow a pair and you could pull the trigger on your own room within 6 months. With a trouser press included if you know how to negotiate.'
They would no doubt offer advice to less well-heeled guests as to how this may be achieved, such as:
'Get off mumsnet, work harder, MTFU, grow a pair and you could pull the trigger on your own room within 6 months. With a trouser press included if you know how to negotiate.'
Vocal Minority said:
Someone would come for two weeks to stay, cheek out at the end of the break and then three weeks later ask if they should reject the room and get a refund due to a stain on the carpet
Said stain caused by somebody , having eaten an over-spiced vindaloo in the aforementioned multi star Michelin restaurant & not quite making it to the commode.On Fridays, it would be impossible to go to any floor by lift due to an ongoing standoff over who presses the buttons.
ETA after reading above properly: At the bar, nobody would listen to anything that had been said previously and everyone would keep making the same jokes.
ETA after reading above properly: At the bar, nobody would listen to anything that had been said previously and everyone would keep making the same jokes.
Edited by pixelatedJH on Tuesday 24th October 19:54
Every car in the car park would have been bought outright and would either be a Golf R or a 15 year old MX-5.
There would be someone with a plastic lunchbox and bits of egg in their beard loudly scorning the spelling on the restaurant menu to a disinterested waitress.
Someone with pointy leather shoes and a £15k watch would be lecturing the cleaner on the value of working harder and buying a condo of their own.
There would be someone with a plastic lunchbox and bits of egg in their beard loudly scorning the spelling on the restaurant menu to a disinterested waitress.
Someone with pointy leather shoes and a £15k watch would be lecturing the cleaner on the value of working harder and buying a condo of their own.
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