If PistonHeads was a hotel...
Discussion
Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah said:
Every now and again someone would show up wearing a mask and cloak. They'd go on to say that whilst they're a regular they have a problem, and they want to go incognito.
Guests who are evicted for brawling and pissing on the carpet come back wearing a different hat and claiming to be someone else. Guests in a room next door to a noisy neighbour would be wandering around reception asking other guests what they should do about it.
Outraged at having their car knocked in the car park the DIYers would have an assortment of rattle cans in roughly he same colour as the damaged cars, and attempts at removing dents using boiling water, compressed air or stuffing un-popped pop corn in panel cavities before heating the panel would rife.
Anybody found to be smoking within a mile of the hotel grounds would be run out of town by those claiming their clothes now stank of second hand smoke.
The prices at the bar will be claimed to be either reasonably priced or hideously expensive.
Dirty takeaways from the local kebab shop will of course contain more fat and be smothered in 1kg of melted cheese
Outraged at having their car knocked in the car park the DIYers would have an assortment of rattle cans in roughly he same colour as the damaged cars, and attempts at removing dents using boiling water, compressed air or stuffing un-popped pop corn in panel cavities before heating the panel would rife.
Anybody found to be smoking within a mile of the hotel grounds would be run out of town by those claiming their clothes now stank of second hand smoke.
The prices at the bar will be claimed to be either reasonably priced or hideously expensive.
Dirty takeaways from the local kebab shop will of course contain more fat and be smothered in 1kg of melted cheese
AW111 said:
Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah said:
Every now and again someone would show up wearing a mask and cloak. They'd go on to say that whilst they're a regular they have a problem, and they want to go incognito.
Guests who are evicted for brawling and pissing on the carpet come back wearing a different hat and claiming to be someone else. 
AW111 said:
Guests who are evicted for brawling and pissing on the carpet come back wearing a different hat and claiming to be someone else.
Yes, and they are allowed to stay until someone works out who they were from before by over-analysing every single detail of their speech pattern and every move they make, and accusing them of being a new person until they eventually flounce off againFermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah said:
Every now and again someone would show up wearing a mask and cloak. They'd go on to say that whilst they're a regular they have a problem, and they want to go incognito.
Other people would turn up, the hotel would have no record of them ever having stayed, but they'd go on about the hotel as if they'd been there years. On the same basis, it would be a big no-no to revisit the hotel under an assumed name, but everyone would do it anyway. The management (see above, sealed in an inaccessible office) would not care.
At half term/holiday time small children would arrive, disguise themselves as adults, and walk round the hotel telling outrageous lies.
GloverMart said:
In reception, there would be an old rocking chair with a man (let's call him Eric Stiff) telling gentle anecdotes about the local law enforcement agencies.
Gentle, but very, very long. A handful of guests would annoy everyone else by saying their name at the end of every sentence they spoke.
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