Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

[PixelpeepS3]

Alex said:

I just saw a supercar being driven by a scantily clad sheep.

It was a lamb bikini.

[mattyn1]

Alex said:

I just saw a supercar being driven by a scantily clad sheep.

It was a lamb bikini.

Truly awful. Perfect for this thread.

Oh, and stolen!!

[Butter Face]

I think I saw the same car, looked quite small though and was painted a weird combination of Arancio Borealis with pink dots!

Yes, It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot lamb bikini.











Too far?

[PixelpeepS3]

Butter Face said:

I think I saw the same car, looked quite small though and was painted a weird combination of Arancio Borealis with pink dots!

Yes, It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot lamb bikini.











Too far?

never!

[Laurel Green]

...and what do sheep drink?

[PixelpeepS3]

PixelpeepS3 said:

Butter Face said:

I think I saw the same car, looked quite small though and was painted a weird combination of Arancio Borealis with pink dots!

Yes, It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot lamb bikini.
Too far?

never!

Yes, i saw that too it was really early, i had never seen it on her before and i got the feeling it was Agoraphobic and liked staying in small, lockable metal cabinets and liked counting up to 5...

Yes; It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot lamb bikini.
That she wore for the first time today.
An iitsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot lamb bikini.
So in the locker she wanted to stay.
Two, three, four, stick around we'll tell you more!

[TIGA84]

fatboy18 said:

MartG said:

1000% TRUE

And also a story from Only Fools and Horses.

[Fastchas]

Laurel Green said:

...and what do sheep drink?

Lambrini...?

[Laurel Green]

Fastchas said:

Lambrini...?

Just wondering how the vegans get on with it?

[easytiger123]

[davhill]

I walked into the airport and went up to the counter.
I said, "Cluck, cluck, awwk."
They said, "No sir, this is the check-in desk."

[PixelpeepS3]

Laurel Green said:

Fastchas said:

Lambrini...?

Just wondering how the vegans get on with it?

vegans wont walk on wooden flooring now in case it has lamb-in-it

[MartG]

My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex, but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia

Edited by MartG on Tuesday 13th February 20:49

[Wacky Racer]

MartG said:

My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex, but my girlfriend insists is says dyslexia

[Vipers]

Barb was lying in bed one night. Larry was falling asleep but Barb was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me... "

Mildly irritated, Larry reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck..."

Angrily, Larry threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Barb asked.

"To get my teeth!"

[davhill]

Fastchas said:

Lambrini...?

Or Lambrusco?

[Tony 1234]

Vipers said:

Barb was lying in bed one night. Larry was falling asleep but Barb was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me... "

Mildly irritated, Larry reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck..."

Angrily, Larry threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Barb asked.

"To get my teeth!"

[Russian Troll Bot]

My wife wanted something black and lacy for valentines. Turns out she didn't mean a pair of football boots.

[Nom de ploom]

easytiger123 said:

I did wonder what kind of relief was going on in Haiti....put another way, would you like a helping hand now has a new meaning over there perhaps?

[Laurel Green]

PixelpeepS3 said:

Laurel Green said:

Fastchas said:

Lambrini...?

Just wondering how the vegans get on with it?

vegans wont walk on wooden flooring now in case it has lamb-in-it

I thought PH vegans would be lambasting us for the above mentioned.