Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

[glenrobbo]

The Dangerous Elk said:

Not a chance, Cod might forgive you however

May Cod have mercy on all your soles.

I think I've become a prawn again, Christian.



Bugger! I'm doing it again.

[The Dangerous Elk]

glenrobbo said:

May Cod have mercy on all your soles.

I think I've become a prawn again, Christian.



Bugger! I'm doing it again.

Buggery is not illegal now so do not worry

[glenrobbo]

The Dangerous Elk said:

glenrobbo said:

May Cod have mercy on all your soles.

I think I've become a prawn again, Christian.



Bugger! I'm doing it again.

Buggery is not illegal now so do not worry

No no, Hazardous Moose, it's not that I'm worried about:

It's just that this thread is for jokes. Puns should be over there ----> https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

[Some Guy]

[Jonboy_t]

[motco]

That Venn has a lot to answer for!

[Vipers]

When I were a kid, my dad made me walk the plank.

We were so poor we couldn't afford a dog.

[phazed]

If a man is alone in the forest with no women to hear him, is he still wrong?

[paua]

phazed said:

If a man is alone in the forest with no women to hear him, is he still wrong?

Yes, because testicles.

[kowalski655]

phazed said:

If a man is alone in the forest with no women to hear him, is he still wrong?

I have that on a T Shirt
Obviously I dont wear it in front of the wife

[driverrob]

motco said:

That Venn has a lot to answer for!

In my first teaching job (Maths & Science) the Head of Maths' surname was Venn. I think the kids were too scared of him to make anything of it.

[Vipers]

My mother in law bought a talking parrot.

The following week she took it back and said "This parrot hasn't said anything since I bought it"

The parrot said "I haven't had a fking chance to get a word in yet".

[Tony 1234]

Vipers said:

My mother in law bought a talking parrot.

The following week she took it back and said "This parrot hasn't said anything since I bought it"

The parrot said "I haven't had a fking chance to get a word in yet".

[Evangelion]

He never heard the shot.

[rayny]

Vipers said:

My mother in law bought a talking parrot.

The following week she took it back and said "This parrot hasn't said anything since I bought it"

The parrot said "I haven't had a fking chance to get a word in yet".

Why is it that so many people choose the wrong mother in law ?

[Russian Troll Bot]

What do telling a racist joke and crossing the road have in common?



You look both ways before you start.

[AppleJuice]

rayny said:

Why is it that so many people choose the wrong mother in law ?

Because they never get a chance to ask if they have a choice!

[B'stard Child]

captain_cynic said:

rayny said:

EarlOfHazard said:

Ultra Sound Guy said:

Que?

[Dumbass]Finally, I just got this one [/Dumbass]

Well I didn't expect that.

Nobody does

[The Dangerous Elk]

B'stard Child said:

Nobody does

The Inquisition did obviously

[Trophy Husband]

A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a pint of lager and a mop.