Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)
Discussion
Two women walking back from the pub when they saw a bloke ahead staggering around, and fall flat on his face in a muddy puddle.
They turned him over to see who he was, but his face was convered with mud.
One of the woman unzipped his fly, and said to the other "Well its not my husband"
The other one looked over and said "Your right, its not your husband"
They turned him over to see who he was, but his face was convered with mud.
One of the woman unzipped his fly, and said to the other "Well its not my husband"
The other one looked over and said "Your right, its not your husband"
Vipers said:
Two women walking back from the pub when they saw a bloke ahead staggering around, and fall flat on his face in a muddy puddle.
They turned him over to see who he was, but his face was convered with mud.
One of the woman unzipped his fly, and said to the other "Well its not my husband"
The other one looked over and said "Your right, its not your husband"
That really isn’t very funny!They turned him over to see who he was, but his face was convered with mud.
One of the woman unzipped his fly, and said to the other "Well its not my husband"
The other one looked over and said "Your right, its not your husband"
Bloke comes into the golf clubhouse after his round, asks for a large brandy
Weren’t you playing with your wife? asks the bar keeper
Yes I was. She keeled over and died on the fourth fairway, that’s why I’m asking for that brandy.
That must have been terrible for you.
Yes it was. I had to play a shot, drag her body....
Weren’t you playing with your wife? asks the bar keeper
Yes I was. She keeled over and died on the fourth fairway, that’s why I’m asking for that brandy.
That must have been terrible for you.
Yes it was. I had to play a shot, drag her body....
JPJPJP said:
Bloke comes into the golf clubhouse after his round, asks for a large brandy
Weren’t you playing with your wife? asks the bar keeper
Yes I was. She keeled over and died on the fourth fairway, that’s why I’m asking for that brandy.
That must have been terrible for you.
Yes it was. I had to play a shot, drag her body....
Do you need to know about golf to understand this?Weren’t you playing with your wife? asks the bar keeper
Yes I was. She keeled over and died on the fourth fairway, that’s why I’m asking for that brandy.
That must have been terrible for you.
Yes it was. I had to play a shot, drag her body....
Robbo 27 said:
...or an ambulance is called to a road accident in Manchester, the injured person lies in a pool of blood but is awake.
'Where are you bleeding from?'
'Wythenshaw'.
A Glaswegian drunk is taken to A& E and is kept in overnight. The nurse making his bed asks him "Comfy?". He replies, "Govan".'Where are you bleeding from?'
'Wythenshaw'.
Doofus said:
JPJPJP said:
Bloke comes into the golf clubhouse after his round, asks for a large brandy
Weren’t you playing with your wife? asks the bar keeper
Yes I was. She keeled over and died on the fourth fairway, that’s why I’m asking for that brandy.
That must have been terrible for you.
Yes it was. I had to play a shot, drag her body....
Do you need to know about golf to understand this?Weren’t you playing with your wife? asks the bar keeper
Yes I was. She keeled over and died on the fourth fairway, that’s why I’m asking for that brandy.
That must have been terrible for you.
Yes it was. I had to play a shot, drag her body....
SpeckledJim said:
Doofus said:
JPJPJP said:
Bloke comes into the golf clubhouse after his round, asks for a large brandy
Weren’t you playing with your wife? asks the bar keeper
Yes I was. She keeled over and died on the fourth fairway, that’s why I’m asking for that brandy.
That must have been terrible for you.
Yes it was. I had to play a shot, drag her body....
Do you need to know about golf to understand this?Weren’t you playing with your wife? asks the bar keeper
Yes I was. She keeled over and died on the fourth fairway, that’s why I’m asking for that brandy.
That must have been terrible for you.
Yes it was. I had to play a shot, drag her body....
B'stard Child said:
SpeckledJim said:
Doofus said:
JPJPJP said:
Bloke comes into the golf clubhouse after his round, asks for a large brandy
Weren’t you playing with your wife? asks the bar keeper
Yes I was. She keeled over and died on the fourth fairway, that’s why I’m asking for that brandy.
That must have been terrible for you.
Yes it was. I had to play a shot, drag her body....
Do you need to know about golf to understand this?Weren’t you playing with your wife? asks the bar keeper
Yes I was. She keeled over and died on the fourth fairway, that’s why I’m asking for that brandy.
That must have been terrible for you.
Yes it was. I had to play a shot, drag her body....
Vipers said:
Two women walking back from the pub when they saw a bloke ahead staggering around, and fall flat on his face in a muddy puddle.
They turned him over to see who he was, but his face was convered with mud.
One of the woman unzipped his fly, and said to the other "Well its not my husband"
The other one looked over and said "Your right, its not your husband"
"Billy's is rounder at the top"They turned him over to see who he was, but his face was convered with mud.
One of the woman unzipped his fly, and said to the other "Well its not my husband"
The other one looked over and said "Your right, its not your husband"
Doofus said:
I think I have finally understood this. He played a shot, then dragged her body down the fairway to the ball, then played another shot, then dragged her body up the course to the ball and so on?
I really did not get that from the punchline. Still don't really.
Maybe I'm broken...
It's not the best joke in the world, but the funny bit is in the misunderstanding when he asks for the brandy.I really did not get that from the punchline. Still don't really.
Maybe I'm broken...
The barman thinks he wants the brandy because he's overcome with the grief of losing his wife.
Actually it's because the inconvenient death of his wife meant the rest of his round of golf was spoiled by the effort of dragging her body around with him.
SpeckledJim said:
It's not the best joke in the world, but the funny bit is in the misunderstanding when he asks for the brandy.
The barman thinks he wants the brandy because he's overcome with the grief of losing his wife.
Actually it's because the inconvenient death of his wife meant the rest of his round of golf was spoiled by the effort of dragging her body around with him.
We must remember that as well as dragging his wife's body, the poor fellow also had to carry his golf bag with all his clubs in it, for the rest of his round. No wonder he needed a brandy!The barman thinks he wants the brandy because he's overcome with the grief of losing his wife.
Actually it's because the inconvenient death of his wife meant the rest of his round of golf was spoiled by the effort of dragging her body around with him.
It just highlights how inconsiderate some women can be.
Monkeylegend said:
B'stard Child said:
SpeckledJim said:
Doofus said:
JPJPJP said:
Bloke comes into the golf clubhouse after his round, asks for a large brandy
Weren’t you playing with your wife? asks the bar keeper
Yes I was. She keeled over and died on the fourth fairway, that’s why I’m asking for that brandy.
That must have been terrible for you.
Yes it was. I had to play a shot, drag her body....
Do you need to know about golf to understand this?Weren’t you playing with your wife? asks the bar keeper
Yes I was. She keeled over and died on the fourth fairway, that’s why I’m asking for that brandy.
That must have been terrible for you.
Yes it was. I had to play a shot, drag her body....
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