Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)
Discussion
havoc said:
It's a phonic joke that doesn't work phonically - "kin" as in short for f***ing would have to have a short pause before it in the sentence.
Anyway, that's another kitten gone...
Somwhat would the sentence be if it were written/pronounced correctly? Not wanting to dissect the joke; I just don't understand it.Anyway, that's another kitten gone...
Vipers said:
Sticks. said:
MarkwG said:
Vipers said:
The man who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.
Too late, he passed away recently - his funfair is next Tuesday...Edited by Vipers on Monday 15th October 17:32
A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding salary.
A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as he gives us."
Silence fell over the congregation.
In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice,
"Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."
The entire congregation said, "Amen."
After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding salary.
A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as he gives us."
Silence fell over the congregation.
In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice,
"Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."
The entire congregation said, "Amen."
Evangelion said:
I fail to see how a device whose function is to remove pencil lead from paper, can be of any possible use in helping people stay dry or preventing pregnancies.
I therefore conclude that that is an American joke that didn't travel well.
A large proportion of Vipers' jokes are American.I therefore conclude that that is an American joke that didn't travel well.
davhill said:
havoc said:
It's a phonic joke that doesn't work phonically - "kin" as in short for f***ing would have to have a short pause before it in the sentence.
Anyway, that's another kitten gone...
That's why I put in the apostroscope to replace the f*c bit. Anyway, that's another kitten gone...
Doofus said:
davhill said:
havoc said:
8
It's a phonic joke that doesn't work phonically - "kin" as in short for f***ing would have to have a short pause before it in the sentence.
Anyway, that's another kitten gone...
That's why I put in the apostroscope to replace the f*c bit. It's a phonic joke that doesn't work phonically - "kin" as in short for f***ing would have to have a short pause before it in the sentence.
Anyway, that's another kitten gone...
Edited by nonsequitur on Tuesday 16th October 09:44
nonsequitur said:
I first heard it as ' KINELL ' As an abbreviation of f*****g hell. A profanity still used today, as a reaction to something negative....Maybe.
Yes, that I get. But the punchline was (presumably) Edited by nonsequitur on Tuesday 16th October 09:44
"What's your next of f
king?""What's my next of f
king what?"It makes no sense to me so what have I missed?
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