Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)
Discussion
glenrobbo said:
simoid said:
Doofus said:
Har de kin har.
By George he's got it!
king moron. I know 'kin' was an abbreviaton of 'fking'. As yet, nobody has been able to explain how the 'of' in the punchline is supposed to fit.It seems to me everyone has charitably ignored it, in order to make a shoddy joke vaguely amusing.
Doofus said:
No he hasn't. I am not a fking moron. I know 'kin' was an abbreviaton of 'fking'. As yet, nobody has been able to explain how the 'of' in the punchline is supposed to fit.
It seems to me everyone has charitably ignored it, in order to make a shoddy joke vaguely amusing.
Please stop itking moron. I know 'kin' was an abbreviaton of 'fking'. As yet, nobody has been able to explain how the 'of' in the punchline is supposed to fit.It seems to me everyone has charitably ignored it, in order to make a shoddy joke vaguely amusing.
! Kittens are dying by the score. In the jungle, three men are captured by female savages, and are told their dicks would be removed in a manor approproate to their jobs.
Ths first was a lumberjack, so his would be chopped off.
The second was a butcher, so his would be sliced off.
The third man started laughing. The women asked what was so funny,
He said "I work for Dyson"
Ths first was a lumberjack, so his would be chopped off.
The second was a butcher, so his would be sliced off.
The third man started laughing. The women asked what was so funny,
He said "I work for Dyson"
B'stard Child said:
Vipers said:
B'stard Child said:
CanAm said:
Or of similar age:-
Q. How many Essex girls does it take to screw-in a light bulb?
A. Essex girls don't screw-in light bulbs; they screw in Cortinas.
Q. How many Essex girls does it take to screw-in a light bulb?
A. Essex girls don't screw-in light bulbs; they screw in Cortinas.
Old ones are frequently the best
Vipers QED
Tall_Paul said:
dirty boy said:
Where does Kylie Minogue buy her kebabs from?
Jason's Doner Van
(well I laughed)
A real fast food van in Bristol, not sure if it's still there.Jason's Doner Van
(well I laughed)
As far as I know, it's still going - and loved so much that when the university purchased that bit of forecourt pavement as part of a new building project and tried to evict him, the students protested and forced a humiliating climbdown!
Isn't it one of those squeezy organ things? A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up three cans and took them to the checkout counter.
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat.
A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.
The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food.
Again, the cashier said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. A lot of old people buy dog food to eat, but the management wants proof that you are buying the dog food for your dog."
So she went home and brought in her dog.
She then was able to buy the dog food.
The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid.
The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier was reluctant and said, "You might have a snake in there."
The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her.
So the cashier put her finger into the box and quickly pulled it out. She said to the little old lady, "That smells like S***."
The little old lady said, "It is.
I want to buy a roll of toilet paper."
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat.
A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.
The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food.
Again, the cashier said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. A lot of old people buy dog food to eat, but the management wants proof that you are buying the dog food for your dog."
So she went home and brought in her dog.
She then was able to buy the dog food.
The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid.
The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier was reluctant and said, "You might have a snake in there."
The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her.
So the cashier put her finger into the box and quickly pulled it out. She said to the little old lady, "That smells like S***."
The little old lady said, "It is.
I want to buy a roll of toilet paper."
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