Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

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Moonhawk

10,730 posts

220 months

Friday 19th October 2018
quotequote all
Monkeylegend said:
I said to my other half the other day "You always get defensive when we have a disagreement "

"No I don't " she said.
Classic Men Behaving Badly:

https://youtu.be/SkDcGhgYPS0

hehe

Monkeylegend

26,516 posts

232 months

Friday 19th October 2018
quotequote all
Moonhawk said:
Monkeylegend said:
I said to my other half the other day "You always get defensive when we have a disagreement "

"No I don't " she said.
Classic Men Behaving Badly:

https://youtu.be/SkDcGhgYPS0

hehe
smile

Vipers

32,919 posts

229 months

Friday 19th October 2018
quotequote all
Monkeylegend said:
Moonhawk said:
Monkeylegend said:
I said to my other half the other day "You always get defensive when we have a disagreement "

"No I don't " she said.
Classic Men Behaving Badly:

https://youtu.be/SkDcGhgYPS0

hehe
smile
Classic, good old british humour.

Vipers

32,919 posts

229 months

Friday 19th October 2018
quotequote all
My girlfriend got upset because she thinks I don't like her cooking.

So to prove her wrong, I had another slice of gravy!

cranford10

350 posts

117 months

Saturday 20th October 2018
quotequote all
”Dad,, why is my sister called Teresa ? “

“It’s because it’s an anagram of Easter and your Mum loves Easter”

“Thanks Dad”

“No problem Alan”

Vipers

32,919 posts

229 months

Saturday 20th October 2018
quotequote all
cranford10 said:
”Dad,, why is my sister called Teresa ? “

“It’s because it’s an anagram of Easter and your Mum loves Easter”

“Thanks Dad”

“No problem Alan”
So is Naal another way of spelling Neil confused

nonsequitur

20,083 posts

117 months

Saturday 20th October 2018
quotequote all
Vipers said:
cranford10 said:
”Dad,, why is my sister called Teresa ? “

“It’s because it’s an anagram of Easter and your Mum loves Easter”

“Thanks Dad”

“No problem Alan”
So is Naal another way of spelling Neil confused
Rock Bottom.

vixen1700

23,099 posts

271 months

Saturday 20th October 2018
quotequote all

Vipers

32,919 posts

229 months

Saturday 20th October 2018
quotequote all
nonsequitur said:
Vipers said:
cranford10 said:
”Dad,, why is my sister called Teresa ? “

“It’s because it’s an anagram of Easter and your Mum loves Easter”

“Thanks Dad”

“No problem Alan”
So is Naal another way of spelling Neil confused
Rock Bottom.
biggrin and to our other readers, yes I know what it is, was taking the we we.

rayny

1,196 posts

202 months

Sunday 21st October 2018
quotequote all
The best explanation of politicians I have ever heard.

While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in
the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with
The old man.

Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their
role as our leaders.

The old farmer said, "Well, as I see it, most
politicians are 'Post Tortoises'.''

Not being familiar with the term,
the doctor asked him what a 'post tortoise' was.

The old farmer said,
"When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with
a tortoise balanced on top, that's a post tortoise."

The old farmer saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain.
"You know he didn't get up there by himself,
He doesn't belong up there,
He doesn't know what to do while he's up there,
He's elevated beyond his ability to function,
And you just wonder what kind of dumb **** put him up there to begin with."

Cold

15,262 posts

91 months

Sunday 21st October 2018
quotequote all
The other night I was playing chess with a friend of mine.
I asked "Would you like to make this a bit more interesting?"
He agreed.
So we stopped playing chess.

Mojooo

12,771 posts

181 months

Sunday 21st October 2018
quotequote all
At a wedding in Glasgow I whispered to a guy next to me, "Isn't the bride a right ugly dog"
"Do you mind. That's my daughter you're talking about"
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were her father''...
"I'm not . . . I'm her fking mother.

Doofus

25,968 posts

174 months

Sunday 21st October 2018
quotequote all
Cold said:
The other night I was playing chess with a friend of mine.
I asked "Would you like to make this a bit more interesting?"
He agreed.
So we stopped playing chess.
biggrin

EarlOfHazard

3,604 posts

159 months

Sunday 21st October 2018
quotequote all
Kind of true!


alorotom

11,963 posts

188 months

Sunday 21st October 2018
quotequote all
EarlOfHazard said:
Kind of true!

I like that!

ColinM50

2,632 posts

176 months

Sunday 21st October 2018
quotequote all
Can you really be bothered to read all that self serving twaddle?

Monkeylegend

26,516 posts

232 months

Sunday 21st October 2018
quotequote all
ColinM50 said:
Can you really be bothered to read all that self serving twaddle?
So you've read it then smile

XJSJohn

15,967 posts

220 months

Monday 22nd October 2018
quotequote all
Monkeylegend said:
ColinM50 said:
Can you really be bothered to read all that self serving twaddle?
So you've read it then smile
hehe

K12beano

20,854 posts

276 months

Monday 22nd October 2018
quotequote all

Legend83

10,005 posts

223 months

Monday 22nd October 2018
quotequote all
Today's Order Order cartoon.


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