Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)
Discussion
A Liverpool girl goes to see the child benefit officer.
" How many Kids ? names?"
"Seven, and they're called Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan and Nathan"
"Why all the same name ?"
" Makes it easy. Nathan, your tea's ready, Nathan, leave your brother alone, Nathan, go to bed"
" What if you want to speak to one individually ?"
" I just call 'em by their surname"
" How many Kids ? names?"
"Seven, and they're called Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan and Nathan"
"Why all the same name ?"
" Makes it easy. Nathan, your tea's ready, Nathan, leave your brother alone, Nathan, go to bed"
" What if you want to speak to one individually ?"
" I just call 'em by their surname"
dartissimus said:
A Liverpool girl goes to see the child benefit officer.
" How many Kids ? names?"
"Seven, and they're called Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan and Nathan"
"Why all the same name ?"
" Makes it easy. Nathan, your tea's ready, Nathan, leave your brother alone, Nathan, go to bed"
" What if you want to speak to one individually ?"
" I just call 'em by their surname"
Sound advice to a teenage daughter, "Always find out the young man's real name first" (Sir Terry Pratchett)" How many Kids ? names?"
"Seven, and they're called Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan and Nathan"
"Why all the same name ?"
" Makes it easy. Nathan, your tea's ready, Nathan, leave your brother alone, Nathan, go to bed"
" What if you want to speak to one individually ?"
" I just call 'em by their surname"
On his 64th birthday, John got a gift from his wife.
It was a paid for visit to a Chinese ‘doctor’ who had a consulting room in town and was rumoured to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded to go, he drove to the shop, saw the Chinaman and wondered what he was in for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This powful medcine.
You take only teaspoon and then say '1-2-3'.
" When you do, you become more manry than you have ever been and you perform as long as you wan."
John asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your wife must say '1-2-3-4,'" the Chinaman responded, "but when she do, the medcine will not work again until next full moon."
John was eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in he quickly took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes as she asked "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
It was a paid for visit to a Chinese ‘doctor’ who had a consulting room in town and was rumoured to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded to go, he drove to the shop, saw the Chinaman and wondered what he was in for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This powful medcine.
You take only teaspoon and then say '1-2-3'.
" When you do, you become more manry than you have ever been and you perform as long as you wan."
John asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your wife must say '1-2-3-4,'" the Chinaman responded, "but when she do, the medcine will not work again until next full moon."
John was eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in he quickly took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes as she asked "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
CanAm said:
Sound advice to a teenage daughter, "Always find out the young man's real name first" (Sir Terry Pratchett)
The advice I always gave to both my teenage sons as they were leaving the house for a night out "just remember safe sex" you mean use a Johnny...! "no don't use your real name"...
Vipers said:
...
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes as she asked "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
Hey Vipers - I enjoyed that one so much - I do hope that you keep up the extremely high standard for the rest of the year.His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes as she asked "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
rayny said:
Vipers said:
...
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes as she asked "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
Hey Vipers - I enjoyed that one so much - I do hope that you keep up the extremely high standard for the rest of the year.His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes as she asked "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
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