Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

[Monkeylegend]

twing said:

Monkeylegend said:

I have just had the signal, one more strike and we are out.

We should be discarraigeing puns on the joke thread.

It's a good job glenrobbo is a sleeper, we'd be driving him off the rails.

[nonsequitur]

Monkeylegend said:

twing said:

Monkeylegend said:

I have just had the signal, one more strike and we are out.

We should be discarraigeing puns on the joke thread.

It's a good job glenrobbo is a sleeper, we'd be driving him off the rails.

We're going loco at the station in Glasgow.

[nonsequitur]

Monkeylegend said:

silverfoxcc said:

twing said:

nonsequitur said:

paua said:

The Li-ion King said:

I went to Network Rail's Christmas Ball this week. Everyone was wearing platforms.

Don't want derail this, I had snakeskin boots.

More training required.

Can we get back on track please?

I dont see the point, i will have to sleeper on it

I have just had the signal, one more strike and we are out.

Are you on the level? Yes. OK start crossing.

[twing]

We should definitely choos the other thread for these puns

[Doofus]

Doofus said:

That's enough, you bunch of dicks.

[anonymous-user]

Knock knock
Who’s there?
A little old lady
A little old lady who?
Nice yodelling let me in

[anonymous-user]

An 80yr old couple were shagging furiously up against a fence. For 40 mins they shagged like Nutters. Arms and legs going everywhere until they fell to the floor.
Christ she said ‘you're better than you were 50 years ago!
The old man replied ‘50 yrs ago that fence wasnt fking electric!’

[Monkeylegend]

Doofus said:

Doofus said:

That's enough, you bunch of dicks.

Watch out boys, we better be on our guard.

[Doofus]

Monkeylegend said:

Doofus said:

Doofus said:

That's enough, you bunch of dicks.

Watch out boys, we better be on our guard.

It got a laugh when I said it a week ago. I sort of assumed it would become a classic.

[Monkeylegend]

Doofus said:

Monkeylegend said:

Doofus said:

Doofus said:

That's enough, you bunch of dicks.

Watch out boys, we better be on our guard.

It got a laugh when I said it a week ago. I sort of assumed it would become a classic.

It's Christmas, stop being bloody miserable and stop telling us what to do


Unless you are a Mod of course

[Turn7]

GOATever said:

My missus was a bit down in the dumps today, because she hates Christmas. So I through her a surprise party, it was a Bukakke party, she was surprised all right, everyone came, you should have seen her face.

[Evangelion]

Monkeylegend said:

... unless you are a Mod of course ...

Or just off your Rocker.

[CRA1G]

Evangelion said:

Monkeylegend said:

... unless you are a Mod of course ...

Or just off your Rocker.

It is Christmas of course so maybe Hell's Angel's....

[nonsequitur]

Doofus said:

Doofus said:

That's enough, you bunch of dicks.

There was a young poster called Rick
He was up to every trick
Puns on this thread
out of his head
until Doofus called him a dick.

[Trophy Husband]

I've got one non binary friend. They hate the fact.

[twing]

Doofus said:

Doofus said:

That's enough, you bunch of dicks.

Merry Christmas Doofus,

From dicks

[Doofus]

twing said:

Doofus said:

Doofus said:

That's enough, you bunch of dicks.

Merry Christmas Doofus,

From dicks

Ok, listen: It was a callback to something I said last week (2 or 3 pages ago) following a string of puns. I thought it was funny; it obviously wasn't, but please, everyone, stop taking offence, because none was meant.

[Monkeylegend]

Doofus said:

twing said:

Doofus said:

Doofus said:

That's enough, you bunch of dicks.

Merry Christmas Doofus,

From dicks

Ok, listen: It was a callback to something I said last week (2 or 3 pages ago) following a string of puns. I thought it was funny; it obviously wasn't, but please, everyone, stop taking offence, because none was meant.

None taken

[Doofus]

Monkeylegend said:

None taken

Jolly good.

[Skyedriver]

Doofus said:

Ok, listen: It was a callback to something I said last week (2 or 3 pages ago) following a string of puns. I thought it was funny; it obviously wasn't, but please, everyone, stop taking offence, because none was meant.

Caught a bloke trying to steal my gate the other day.
Didn't say anything in case he took offence......

Now where did I leave my coat..