How Solid Really is Your Marriage
Discussion
techiedave said:
Thanks for that. You never know whats around the corner when our daughter passed away it was so sudden. Horrible as it sounds we knew it wasn't something that could have been prevented it was an accident and it happened. If we had dwelled on it every waking moment our other daughters would have suffered. I can see though how couples tear themselves apart. Writing that sounds awful and I'm sure some of the clever types on here will be insinuating we don't care etc. But you either deal with what you have been dealt and cope and move on or you destroy what you have left.
Dave I can't think think anyone would ever judge how you deal with your loss. That certainly wouldn't be me and I have the upmost respect of how , clearly, you as a family have dealt with it and continue . Alltrack said:
This time last year I thought my marriage was fairly stable albeit with a few issues on both sides.
As of today, the family home has been sold and she is living with her new guy in a house bought with most of the proceeds.
She met him online in April and physically in June. They were both 'unhappy'. There was a lot of retrospective justification for all this from her.
I am renting and see my kids two or three days a week. I won't see them at Christmas.
The decree absolute should come early in the new year.
Christ what a difference a year makes as they say !As of today, the family home has been sold and she is living with her new guy in a house bought with most of the proceeds.
She met him online in April and physically in June. They were both 'unhappy'. There was a lot of retrospective justification for all this from her.
I am renting and see my kids two or three days a week. I won't see them at Christmas.
The decree absolute should come early in the new year.
All the best for the new year
Rude-boy said:
Not relationshipwise (although both my brother and i have got married this year) but there has been a lot happening in my World in the last year and above all else it has taught me that it really is later than you think and that no matter how sure something seems, or uncertain for that matter,
Very intrigued.......
dirty boy said:
Strange seeing so many people have lengthy marriages that still fail.
My parents split after 30 years, Dad found a younger model (like 30 years younger).
I've been with my wife 20 years now, married 14.
I can't imagine being without her, but I suppose anything can happen. I'm terrified of the children moving out as both of us put our heart and souls into those little f
kers and I wonder what it'll be like when they're gone...that being said, my youngest is in France at the moment and the past few days have been sweet as f 
We do share a lot though, we go to the gym together, have plans for when the children do eventually go travel wise, and generally, i'd say she's my best mate as much as my wife, with the added bonus she does the ironing.
We both stay healthy for each other, attraction is a good thing, i've said, if I were her, i'd hate a fat sweaty beer belly pounding away at me, so I stay in shape. She says the same, that she'll maintain a small arse as long as possible, because if it gets too big my cock ain't big enough to make much of an impression otherwise.
Although both of us have said don't worry, I love you whatever you look like and that's true, but we both want to look good for each other. Shame I can't do much about my face for her...nevermind.
Must have been quite a shock when your dad finds someone closer to your age than his? My parents split after 30 years, Dad found a younger model (like 30 years younger).
I've been with my wife 20 years now, married 14.
I can't imagine being without her, but I suppose anything can happen. I'm terrified of the children moving out as both of us put our heart and souls into those little f
kers and I wonder what it'll be like when they're gone...that being said, my youngest is in France at the moment and the past few days have been sweet as f We do share a lot though, we go to the gym together, have plans for when the children do eventually go travel wise, and generally, i'd say she's my best mate as much as my wife, with the added bonus she does the ironing.
We both stay healthy for each other, attraction is a good thing, i've said, if I were her, i'd hate a fat sweaty beer belly pounding away at me, so I stay in shape. She says the same, that she'll maintain a small arse as long as possible, because if it gets too big my cock ain't big enough to make much of an impression otherwise.
Although both of us have said don't worry, I love you whatever you look like and that's true, but we both want to look good for each other. Shame I can't do much about my face for her...nevermind.
Probably kept your dad going though :-)
Interesting this thread draws many people of all ages and experiences .
There is no ‘norm’ it’s some that have been married for a few months to those who have been married 30yrs then it’s over . Normally when the kids have left which I guess suggests they were only together for the kids sake in the first place .
Weird the hand married life deals you at times .
Me? Can’t wait for the kids to fly the nest so the missus and I can (hopefully) be love birds again
There is no ‘norm’ it’s some that have been married for a few months to those who have been married 30yrs then it’s over . Normally when the kids have left which I guess suggests they were only together for the kids sake in the first place .
Weird the hand married life deals you at times .
Me? Can’t wait for the kids to fly the nest so the missus and I can (hopefully) be love birds again
Mark Benson said:
It often coincides with the menopause which can sometimes spell the end of her interest in the bedroom too. Happened to a friend of mine, within a couple of years of the children leaving he found he was living with a very different woman than the one he'd been married to for the previous 30 years.
Not only was she finding life difficult because her children no longer needed her, but her hormones were playing havoc and she'd gone right off any form of intimacy with him.
A couple more years and they'd split.
Thats sad but maybe not that uncommon.Not only was she finding life difficult because her children no longer needed her, but her hormones were playing havoc and she'd gone right off any form of intimacy with him.
A couple more years and they'd split.
Fingers crossed then!
Dr-RS said:
Mark and Robert, you're both spot on with the 30 year itch. We hit that milestone next August. Menopause, empty nest syndrome, physical and mental illness causing no female libido and other issues all kicking in here, so my answer to Focus RS3's original question could go one of two very different ways. Not a nice place to be but we'll see, I'm an optimist, she's a pessimist. I think we both think it's worth trying. Sad bit is we love each other and without all the extraneous factors which are so difficult to predict or control, we have no financial or other worries and really could have it all. I'm thankful in so many ways but not complacent, marriage is hard work for both of us at the moment, no guarantees and ridiculously it's way harder than ever post-retirement and post-dependent children. I'm not taking anything for granted or making any assumptions for the future, just being pragmatic. There are more than enough people way less fortunate than me so come what may, life will definitely be going on and I'll be living it to the full, hence the RS 
.
Good and honest post DR-RS. . Hope you guys get over your current issues , certainly worth working through .
I think in some ways and at some stages we all have some semi mental issues sometimes without realising it . As I've gotten older my confidence has taken a beating and with it at times I've discovered some depression .
My wife has been my rock and talked me through it many times. She 'bigs me up' and sends me on my way again . She's doing it for all of us obviously as a family and a team and that's the real key.
What would I do if the 'tap' was turned off? The honest answer is I don't know and i hope we never get to that stage, not that we're at it like rabbits with kids around all the time but it's nice to know when we get shot of the kids occasionally it's all good .
Anyhow have a great Xmas , might I suggest some presents from Ann Summers for the wives !
Bloke turned up at work today and said “my marriage is over”.
Turns out they both almost knew post Xmas it’ll be over and the last last year they’ve just been plastering over the cracks in their relationship .
He actually seemed quite relieved that the deal had been done and it was Time to move on
Turns out they both almost knew post Xmas it’ll be over and the last last year they’ve just been plastering over the cracks in their relationship .
He actually seemed quite relieved that the deal had been done and it was Time to move on
Bobberoo99 said:
Pretty much as it was pre Christmas, just a little less tired and little bit fatter!!! Mrs Bobbers is struggling a bit with MIL but we'll be fine!
Thats pretty much a carbon copy of me!There were a few 'teetering on the edge' prior to xmas so after starting the thread i figured i'd see how it was all going
cossy400 said:
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Very much this!!!
Side note, I jacked my job 2 weeks before Christmas, got a new job pretty much straight away, (easiest money ve earnt) but the reasons I jacked (bullying) have caused me to think all sorts and ive started bursting in to tears for no reason whats so ever.
Im off the docs tomorrow to have a word and see what they suggest as ive never felt like this, it was a job I left moved on as you do, but I just feel so low and like ive caused me and my family a hard ship.
Its almost like im blaming myself, for sticking up for myself.
A very good friend of mine suggested a councillor but its not something I thought id benefit from, surely its just like getting it off my chest on here?
Totally understandable we all have our moments . Very much this!!!
Side note, I jacked my job 2 weeks before Christmas, got a new job pretty much straight away, (easiest money ve earnt) but the reasons I jacked (bullying) have caused me to think all sorts and ive started bursting in to tears for no reason whats so ever.
Im off the docs tomorrow to have a word and see what they suggest as ive never felt like this, it was a job I left moved on as you do, but I just feel so low and like ive caused me and my family a hard ship.
Its almost like im blaming myself, for sticking up for myself.
A very good friend of mine suggested a councillor but its not something I thought id benefit from, surely its just like getting it off my chest on here?
Work place bullying is more common place that firms have you believe I’ve witnessed it and to a degree have been on the receiving end too.
Definitely go see a doctor and get some help sounds to me you are stressed and depressed
funkyrobot said:
Still oddball central for me.
Had some nice times over Christmas. Been doing a lot of thinking about what to do. Been emotional about what happens to our daughter.
Put a lot of weight on recently. Been annoyed with life. Been going to sleep late (like now) then struggling to wake up in the mornings. Been quite fed up with things.
Been trying to think it's ok as have had some nice time recently. Thought everything was ok.
Then, out of the blue, was shouted at, told off, told to do stuff we had planned to do recently my 'f**king' self. All over a tiny, simple little thing.
Hate it and hate what things have become. I really am doing nothing wrong and I'm being treated like a piece of dirt.
To top it all off, she wants another baby. W. T. F.
I'm crying as I type this with Mrs angry next to me in bed.
fk this for life.
Sorry to hear this must be extremely confusing and worrying not knowing when it’s all likely to kick off again . Had some nice times over Christmas. Been doing a lot of thinking about what to do. Been emotional about what happens to our daughter.
Put a lot of weight on recently. Been annoyed with life. Been going to sleep late (like now) then struggling to wake up in the mornings. Been quite fed up with things.
Been trying to think it's ok as have had some nice time recently. Thought everything was ok.
Then, out of the blue, was shouted at, told off, told to do stuff we had planned to do recently my 'f**king' self. All over a tiny, simple little thing.
Hate it and hate what things have become. I really am doing nothing wrong and I'm being treated like a piece of dirt.
To top it all off, she wants another baby. W. T. F.
I'm crying as I type this with Mrs angry next to me in bed.
f
k this for life.Can you sit her down and explain what it’s doing to you ?
Wombat3 said:
You'll be joining a long list of us who've been there more or less & unfortunately what's been said cannot be un-said. I sometimes wonder though if people who say such things have really thought it through - its pulling the foundation stone out from under a relationship with usually inevitable consequences.
If that's the objective then its the nuclear option for sure though I think someone you've been in a relationship with for a while probably deserves a bit more of an effort to fix things before you just spell that one out - but unfortunately it seems its all too common. You've been shat on there from a great height.
People do change though. I have no idea who my ex is any more as a person. Certainly not the same one I married 21 years before she blew it up. Having said the above, the token effort at Relate that I got was also bordering on insulting & just dragged things out. It wasn't a conversation she really wanted to hear/have, her mind was made up some time before....and then the "fun" started
Christ .If that's the objective then its the nuclear option for sure though I think someone you've been in a relationship with for a while probably deserves a bit more of an effort to fix things before you just spell that one out - but unfortunately it seems its all too common. You've been shat on there from a great height.
People do change though. I have no idea who my ex is any more as a person. Certainly not the same one I married 21 years before she blew it up. Having said the above, the token effort at Relate that I got was also bordering on insulting & just dragged things out. It wasn't a conversation she really wanted to hear/have, her mind was made up some time before....and then the "fun" started
You’d think after 21yrs of marriage youre safe !!
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