How Solid Really is Your Marriage

[FocusRS3]

Symptomless Coma said:

Yes... I’m planning on the worst outcome so seeing a solicitor tomorrow. Tho that’s been chosen off google so probably not the best. Still it’s a 20 min free session

No idea where you are based mate but i know of a particularly good divorce solicitor.

By all means get the first 20 mins with those guys but if you go legal then choose carefully.

The guys i know are local to me (one i used for a tricky employment case with a favorable outcome for me and i know him personally anyway) and the other guy there is representing a friend currently .
They are also based out of London so not crazy rates.

Do let me know if you need me to make a recommendation for you

[Symptomless Coma]

[quote=FocusRS3

Do let me know if you need me to make a recommendation for you
[/quote]

PM sent

[Bobberoo99]

My wife and I were talking about this thread last night and it inspired us to have a long talk about the issues we are going through, luckily we're both happy with each other, It's the external influences which are the problem, my mother constantly puts pressure on us for various reasons and as she has been retired for around 13 years has no concept of the limited holiday available to us, her mother has had mental issues for nearly a year, was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer in November and refuses to do anything for herself and since August 2016 my wife has been dealing with an overbearing workload and three stupid twenty something tramps bullying her and refusing to help her, one of which is the office manager!!!
We are incredibly fortunate that we have very good friends who help and support us, that our marriage is as strong as it is and that I at least have a stable and secure job.

[Zod]

jamesv81 said:

FocusRS3 said:

I'd hate getting up each day never knowing if you're dealing with jeckle or Hyde

Its horrible but I do think its a mental illness. I have researched it quite a bit and I suspect its a form of Aspergers.

My mrs will say truly horrible things some days. Over Christmas she said she would not tell anyone if I died and get my body cremated and not have a service. I just laughed it off and said the funeral will be cheap then, but in reality it was a really hurtful comment that my last day would be on my own but she says stuff like that all the time. She has no sympathy mechanism in her brain, very much just says things she considers normal but its really not ok to say. For example she might see an old person struggling up some stairs and she will just push past them when a normal person would either help or at least wait. People will look on in horror but she does not see them struggling. Similar situation in traffic jams she gets really anxious and starts thinking people are holding her up or going to try and push in. Its like being in a washing machine. If we have to go anywhere on the motorway I will always try and drive! I am not allowed to let anyone in though if I flash someone and let them out she goes mental.

You have my sympathy, but you need to get out of this relationship.

[Nik da Greek]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

Nik da Greek said:

We met when we were teenagers. We read the same poems. We learned to knit together. She waited while I lived a life of wanton drug-crazed hedonism. I waited while she went to university and lived in a houseful of lesbians. Somehow at the end of it we still liked each other. We've been so many different people it's hard to remember who she was when we first met.

We've seen the sun come up together in forests and over mountains and in canyon city streets and misty harbours in far-away lands. We've lived in poverty and in ease. We like the same music. She also likes st music. I don't. When I broke more bones than Evel Knieval riding upside down motorbikes, though with markedly less panache, she didn't tut too much and waited in the hospital for me. We sat through her father dying of a brain tumour and mine dying of being taken by the Devil for crimes against humanity. We laugh at the cats. We laugh at the kids. We laugh at The Last Leg. Laugh at almost anything, truth be told. We didn't laugh about the dead children. We didn't laugh about MS and her nervous system disintegrating. But then, life's funny like that. We've both been so far down and broken we couldn't even see the sky. We've both been so far up we couldn't see the ground

And I'll be there. When I have to feed her soup and wipe her arse for her, I'll still be there. In the same way that she never stinted from picking me up out of the st or overlooking my idiocy and my faults. When my too-often broken legs and ligaments finally give up then I guess I'll have to crawl. She'll wait. She'll have to because she'll be in a wheelchair. Life will never beat us, but we'll never get out alive. I don't obviously annoy her any more now than when we first met.

Pah...it'll never last.

Nothing lasts.

Except the Labours of Sisyphus. And on that subject, I'm firmly alongside Albert Camus. Revel in the absurdity of existence

[FocusRS3]

Nik da Greek said:

Thirty years.

Jesus. Thirty fking years. How do you put that into just one post? It's a lifetime

We met when we were teenagers. We read the same poems. We learned to knit together. She waited while I lived a life of wanton drug-crazed hedonism. I waited while she went to university and lived in a houseful of lesbians. Somehow at the end of it we still liked each other. We've been so many different people it's hard to remember who she was when we first met.

We've seen the sun come up together in forests and over mountains and in canyon city streets and misty harbours in far-away lands. We've lived in poverty and in ease. We like the same music. She also likes st music. I don't. When I broke more bones than Evel Knieval riding upside down motorbikes, though with markedly less panache, she didn't tut too much and waited in the hospital for me. We sat through her father dying of a brain tumour and mine dying of being taken by the Devil for crimes against humanity. We laugh at the cats. We laugh at the kids. We laugh at The Last Leg. Laugh at almost anything, truth be told. We didn't laugh about the dead children. We didn't laugh about MS and her nervous system disintegrating. But then, life's funny like that. We've both been so far down and broken we couldn't even see the sky. We've both been so far up we couldn't see the ground

And I'll be there. When I have to feed her soup and wipe her arse for her, I'll still be there. In the same way that she never stinted from picking me up out of the st or overlooking my idiocy and my faults. When my too-often broken legs and ligaments finally give up then I guess I'll have to crawl. She'll wait. She'll have to because she'll be in a wheelchair. Life will never beat us, but we'll never get out alive. I don't obviously annoy her any more now than when we first met.



Still fancy her, too. Because boobs

Wow great post....unless you copied and pasted it from somewhere :-)

[Sa Calobra]

Zod said:

jamesv81 said:

FocusRS3 said:

I'd hate getting up each day never knowing if you're dealing with jeckle or Hyde

Its horrible but I do think its a mental illness. I have researched it quite a bit and I suspect its a form of Aspergers.

My mrs will say truly horrible things some days. Over Christmas she said she would not tell anyone if I died and get my body cremated and not have a service. I just laughed it off and said the funeral will be cheap then, but in reality it was a really hurtful comment that my last day would be on my own but she says stuff like that all the time. She has no sympathy mechanism in her brain, very much just says things she considers normal but its really not ok to say. For example she might see an old person struggling up some stairs and she will just push past them when a normal person would either help or at least wait. People will look on in horror but she does not see them struggling. Similar situation in traffic jams she gets really anxious and starts thinking people are holding her up or going to try and push in. Its like being in a washing machine. If we have to go anywhere on the motorway I will always try and drive! I am not allowed to let anyone in though if I flash someone and let them out she goes mental.

You have my sympathy, but you need to get out of this relationship.

Sounds like someone I used to know. Once a row of cars was waiting for a horse rider to calm down her horse and she overtook and in her words 'pushed past'. Almost like she had no care for anyone else but herself. I put it down to possible drug/cocaine use. That sort of narcassistic personality. She wanted to be loved by everyone and seemed to revel in someone's misery.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Nik da Greek said:

Nothing lasts.

Except the Labours of Sisyphus. And on that subject, I'm firmly alongside Albert Camus.

Albert Camas, Julio Inglesius, Pope John Paul II, David Icke. What's the connection?

[bucksmanuk]

Sa Calobra said:

Zod said:

jamesv81 said:

FocusRS3 said:

I'd hate getting up each day never knowing if you're dealing with jeckle or Hyde

Its horrible but I do think its a mental illness. I have researched it quite a bit and I suspect its a form of Aspergers.

My mrs will say truly horrible things some days. Over Christmas she said she would not tell anyone if I died and get my body cremated and not have a service. I just laughed it off and said the funeral will be cheap then, but in reality it was a really hurtful comment that my last day would be on my own but she says stuff like that all the time. She has no sympathy mechanism in her brain, very much just says things she considers normal but its really not ok to say. For example she might see an old person struggling up some stairs and she will just push past them when a normal person would either help or at least wait. People will look on in horror but she does not see them struggling. Similar situation in traffic jams she gets really anxious and starts thinking people are holding her up or going to try and push in. Its like being in a washing machine. If we have to go anywhere on the motorway I will always try and drive! I am not allowed to let anyone in though if I flash someone and let them out she goes mental.

You have my sympathy, but you need to get out of this relationship.

Sounds like someone I used to know. Once a row of cars was waiting for a horse rider to calm down her horse and she overtook and in her words 'pushed past'. Almost like she had no care for anyone else but herself. I put it down to possible drug/cocaine use. That sort of narcassistic personality. She wanted to be loved by everyone and seemed to revel in someone's misery.

Both of them - classic narcissist - I’m no professional on this, but I’ve done HUGE reading on it, and there’s been one in my life.
Neither of these women will change, they will only get worse, and the only time it stops is when YOU decide to check out of the relationship PERMANENTLY. They will drop you from their lives immediately, and find their next “project person”.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Correct. All 4 are better keepers than Mignolet.

[McVities]

Nik da Greek said:

Thirty years.

Jesus. Thirty fking years. How do you put that into just one post? It's a lifetime

We met when we were teenagers. We read the same poems. We learned to knit together. She waited while I lived a life of wanton drug-crazed hedonism. I waited while she went to university and lived in a houseful of lesbians. Somehow at the end of it we still liked each other. We've been so many different people it's hard to remember who she was when we first met.

We've seen the sun come up together in forests and over mountains and in canyon city streets and misty harbours in far-away lands. We've lived in poverty and in ease. We like the same music. She also likes st music. I don't. When I broke more bones than Evel Knieval riding upside down motorbikes, though with markedly less panache, she didn't tut too much and waited in the hospital for me. We sat through her father dying of a brain tumour and mine dying of being taken by the Devil for crimes against humanity. We laugh at the cats. We laugh at the kids. We laugh at The Last Leg. Laugh at almost anything, truth be told. We didn't laugh about the dead children. We didn't laugh about MS and her nervous system disintegrating. But then, life's funny like that. We've both been so far down and broken we couldn't even see the sky. We've both been so far up we couldn't see the ground

And I'll be there. When I have to feed her soup and wipe her arse for her, I'll still be there. In the same way that she never stinted from picking me up out of the st or overlooking my idiocy and my faults. When my too-often broken legs and ligaments finally give up then I guess I'll have to crawl. She'll wait. She'll have to because she'll be in a wheelchair. Life will never beat us, but we'll never get out alive. I don't obviously annoy her any more now than when we first met.



Still fancy her, too. Because boobs

That's got to be one of the nicest and most positive posts I have ever seen on here.

[FocusRS3]

McVities said:

That's got to be one of the nicest and most positive posts I have ever seen on here.

Agreed 100%!

[Nik da Greek]

FocusRS3 said:

Wow great post....unless you copied and pasted it from somewhere :-)

Nope, all my own work . All my own luck, too . In the immortal words of Stavros Parrish... if I bought a duck, it'd sink

TwigtheWonderkid said:

Albert Camas, Julio Inglesius, Pope John Paul II, David Icke. What's the connection?

Oooh, good one. I was going to go with "none of them managed a decent career in ski-jumping?" but then;

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Can't top that one

[Taaaaang]

McVities said:

Nik da Greek said:

Thirty years.

Jesus. Thirty fking years. How do you put that into just one post? It's a lifetime

We met when we were teenagers. We read the same poems. We learned to knit together. She waited while I lived a life of wanton drug-crazed hedonism. I waited while she went to university and lived in a houseful of lesbians. Somehow at the end of it we still liked each other. We've been so many different people it's hard to remember who she was when we first met.

We've seen the sun come up together in forests and over mountains and in canyon city streets and misty harbours in far-away lands. We've lived in poverty and in ease. We like the same music. She also likes st music. I don't. When I broke more bones than Evel Knieval riding upside down motorbikes, though with markedly less panache, she didn't tut too much and waited in the hospital for me. We sat through her father dying of a brain tumour and mine dying of being taken by the Devil for crimes against humanity. We laugh at the cats. We laugh at the kids. We laugh at The Last Leg. Laugh at almost anything, truth be told. We didn't laugh about the dead children. We didn't laugh about MS and her nervous system disintegrating. But then, life's funny like that. We've both been so far down and broken we couldn't even see the sky. We've both been so far up we couldn't see the ground

And I'll be there. When I have to feed her soup and wipe her arse for her, I'll still be there. In the same way that she never stinted from picking me up out of the st or overlooking my idiocy and my faults. When my too-often broken legs and ligaments finally give up then I guess I'll have to crawl. She'll wait. She'll have to because she'll be in a wheelchair. Life will never beat us, but we'll never get out alive. I don't obviously annoy her any more now than when we first met.



Still fancy her, too. Because boobs

That's got to be one of the nicest and most positive posts I have ever seen on here.

Ya think? I can't imagine what would possess anyone to write that drivel whilst so many others are discussing their lives being turned upside down and the problems they have.

[Nik da Greek]

Taaaaang said:

Ya think? I can't imagine what would possess anyone to write that drivel whilst so many others are discussing their lives being turned upside down and the problems they have.

Wow, really? So the stillbirth of my twin children and my wife's debilitating and incurable illness aren't dramatic enough for you? You're right, neither of these events affected our lives stability on any appreciable level.

I thought the question was "how solid is your marriage?" not "how close can you come to the script of a soap opera?" but I apologise if my marriage's triumph over adversity upsets so you deeply

Edited by Nik da Greek on Monday 15th January 23:23

[Taaaaang]

Nik da Greek said:

Taaaaang said:

Ya think? I can't imagine what would possess anyone to write that drivel whilst so many others are discussing their lives being turned upside down and the problems they have.

Wow, really? So the stillbirth of my twin children and my wife's debilitating and incurable illness aren't dramatic enough for you? You're right, neither of these events affected our lives stability on any appreciable level.

I thought the question was "how solid is your marriage?" not "how close can you come to the script of a soap opera?" but I apologise if my marriage's triumph over adversity upsets so you deeply

Edited by Nik da Greek on Monday 15th January 23:23

Well you didn't write any of that stuff did you (not that it changes anything at all); just some pitifully feminine spiel about how wonderful your relationship is. I didn't know whether to laugh or be sick.

But to answer your question; nah it doesn't upset me in the slightest. My life is ok. I don't care about yours in the slightest....weird that you think I should? I'm not a girl.

I just think you lacked empathy and social awareness with the timing of your post.

[Nik da Greek]

Taaaaang said:

I just think you lacked empathy and social awareness

Ironic...?

[Nik da Greek]

Or more specifically...

Taaaaang said:

Well you didn't write any of that stuff did you (not that it changes anything at all); just some pitifully feminine spiel about how wonderful your relationship is..

Yes, I did. You clearly are too stupid and full of rage to understand what I wrote. Also... I answered the question in the OP

Taaaaang said:

I didn't know whether to laugh or be sick.

Yet you're not upset? You sure? delirium and/or involuntary loss of body function is often a sign of deep-seated problems. You probably should get that checked

Taaaaang said:

But to answer your question; nah it doesn't upset me in the slightest. My life is ok. I don't care about yours in the slightest....weird that you think I should? I'm not a girl.

Again, you sound quite upset. And you don't care about my life in the slightest, which is why you're holding a rather arbitrary argument with me (a ficticious person on the internet) about how little you actually care about it. I wouldn't have thought of using "girl" as an insult before, so it's nice that you've managed to open up whole new horizons

Taaaaang said:

I just think you lacked empathy and social awareness with the timing of your post.

Oh, OK. So a tale suggesting that sometimes adversity can cause a marriage to endure and be strengthened rather than make it collapse is in no way poignant to some of the more depressing stories around?


And finally... well done for offering plenty to offset your personal attack. I'm sure your contributions have been greatly to the enhancement of this thread

[Taaaaang]

Calm down darling.

[anonymous-user]

Taaaaang said:

Well you didn't write any of that stuff did you (not that it changes anything at all); just some pitifully feminine spiel about how wonderful your relationship is. I didn't know whether to laugh or be sick.

.

If you read his post you will see that he did write 'that stuff'

Probably too many words for you in your rush to show what a hard man you are.
Bellend.