How Solid Really is Your Marriage
Discussion
Sa Calobra said:
It's either way. Men can equally call the police too.
Unfortunately, in the real world, the police answering the call of a domestic incident will be looking to remove the male from the property. There's still a long, long way to go before men are ever considered to be potential victims of domestic abuse. stargazer30 said:
I noticed there has been recent legislation that makes if illegal for one partner in the relationship to emotionally abuse and be controlling over the other. Things like stopping them seeing friends, abusive/demeaning behavior, taking there money etc.. I recon some of the WAGs in this thread would be on the wrong side of it. However its written for men abusing women, I don't think it can be applied when the woman is the abusive one.
Equal rights an all....
I think there was a thread about this new legislation in NPE a while ago. While most of the coverage has been from the angle of protecting women from emotional abuse, I actually think think women are the main perpetrators of it. I know so many men who have been or are still victims of it, but in most cases they brush it under the carpet for the sake of the kids or keeping the relationship alive. But you just know that most women wouldn't stand to be treated like that, and the one's that do try and put up with it are 'set straight' by their female friends.Equal rights an all....
There does seem to be a stigma towards men reporting themselves as victims, even when it's physical abuse, so it'll probably be even more challenging to report emotional abuse. There also seems to be a common perception that women are supposed to be a bit nuts, and it just gets blamed on hormones, time of the month, a previous bad experience (maybe real, maybe just in their head), having kids, menopause etc. That its normal, acceptable.
I've only had four serious relationships, and out of those - 2 women turned out to be completely bonkers, another one was ok most of the time but still a bit unpredictable. And one who was totally stable, but turned out to be very calculating and just used men as stepping stones to suit her current circumstances. Maybe it's all down to me, do I bring out the worst in them, or I'm just terrible at picking them out!
Olivera said:
jamesv81 said:
My mrs will say truly horrible things some days. Over Christmas she said she would not tell anyone if I died and get my body cremated and not have a service. I just laughed it off and said the funeral will be cheap then, but in reality it was a really hurtful comment that my last day would be on my own but she says stuff like that all the time.
No, that's not a 'hurtful comment', e.g. 'you are stupid idiot...". That is a seriously cruel and deranged comment. Don't convince yourself it's anywhere near normal.Light heartedly arguing with my wife about the non virtues of the perfectly adequate new Peugeot 2008 she’d gone for, after deep sixing the comfortable and semi luxurious Fiat Croma she’d had for just shy of 10 years, she retorted, “Should never have ditched that diesel SUV, if you’d died, I could have put you in a cardboard box in the Fiat, and dropped you at the Council Dump, just off the Old Kent Road.”
I took that as quite humorous, certainly not cruel and deranged.
Frank7 said:
Olivera said:
jamesv81 said:
My mrs will say truly horrible things some days. Over Christmas she said she would not tell anyone if I died and get my body cremated and not have a service. I just laughed it off and said the funeral will be cheap then, but in reality it was a really hurtful comment that my last day would be on my own but she says stuff like that all the time.
No, that's not a 'hurtful comment', e.g. 'you are stupid idiot...". That is a seriously cruel and deranged comment. Don't convince yourself it's anywhere near normal.Light heartedly arguing with my wife about the non virtues of the perfectly adequate new Peugeot 2008 she’d gone for, after deep sixing the comfortable and semi luxurious Fiat Croma she’d had for just shy of 10 years, she retorted, “Should never have ditched that diesel SUV, if you’d died, I could have put you in a cardboard box in the Fiat, and dropped you at the Council Dump, just off the Old Kent Road.”
I took that as quite humorous, certainly not cruel and deranged.
Frank7 said:
Olivera said:
jamesv81 said:
My mrs will say truly horrible things some days. Over Christmas she said she would not tell anyone if I died and get my body cremated and not have a service. I just laughed it off and said the funeral will be cheap then, but in reality it was a really hurtful comment that my last day would be on my own but she says stuff like that all the time.
No, that's not a 'hurtful comment', e.g. 'you are stupid idiot...". That is a seriously cruel and deranged comment. Don't convince yourself it's anywhere near normal.Light heartedly arguing with my wife about the non virtues of the perfectly adequate new Peugeot 2008 she’d gone for, after deep sixing the comfortable and semi luxurious Fiat Croma she’d had for just shy of 10 years, she retorted, “Should never have ditched that diesel SUV, if you’d died, I could have put you in a cardboard box in the Fiat, and dropped you at the Council Dump, just off the Old Kent Road.”
I took that as quite humorous, certainly not cruel and deranged.
It's like someone saying 'I'm going to f
king kill you' to you. There is a HUGE difference to a mate saying it whilst laughing to a drunk stranger snarling it in your face. mjb1 said:
stargazer30 said:
I noticed there has been recent legislation that makes if illegal for one partner in the relationship to emotionally abuse and be controlling over the other. Things like stopping them seeing friends, abusive/demeaning behavior, taking there money etc.. I recon some of the WAGs in this thread would be on the wrong side of it. However its written for men abusing women, I don't think it can be applied when the woman is the abusive one.
Equal rights an all....
I think there was a thread about this new legislation in NPE a while ago. While most of the coverage has been from the angle of protecting women from emotional abuse, I actually think think women are the main perpetrators of it. I know so many men who have been or are still victims of it, but in most cases they brush it under the carpet for the sake of the kids or keeping the relationship alive. But you just know that most women wouldn't stand to be treated like that, and the one's that do try and put up with it are 'set straight' by their female friends.Equal rights an all....
There does seem to be a stigma towards men reporting themselves as victims, even when it's physical abuse, so it'll probably be even more challenging to report emotional abuse. There also seems to be a common perception that women are supposed to be a bit nuts, and it just gets blamed on hormones, time of the month, a previous bad experience (maybe real, maybe just in their head), having kids, menopause etc. That its normal, acceptable.
Domestic abuse is one of the most underreported crimes of any kind. And in the case of male victims, the factor that we were able to ascertain was even smaller - frankly only a tiny minority of victims reported, and only ever for violent, rather than emotional, abuse (in those days, no-one reported emotional abuse, to be fair – the police at that time, the late 90's, would have told you to GTFO).
Rather sadly, one of the men I interviewed ended up being stabbed to death by his partner some years later. Never even made the papers – no one cared.
dirty boy said:
Taaaaang said:
Rather incongruous; criticising a "look at me, look at me, my life is amazing" post in the middle of people talking about how their lives are falling apart makes me a "hard man" or any of the other insults flung my way.
Sad.
Yeah, nobody should be allowed to have fun when everyone else is miserable.Sad.
Let's all be miserable together.
If I was standing listening to my friend tell me about his car woes, for instance, the last thing I would do is pipe up and tell him how I've never had a problem with mine/best car ever/yaddayadda.
tighnamara said:
Taaaaang said:
Rather incongruous; criticising a "look at me, look at me, my life is amazing" post in the middle of people talking about how their lives are falling apart makes me a "hard man" or any of the other insults flung my way.
Sad.
So previously known as HaggleburyfiniusSad.
Wow just wow, you must have some serious issues. Hope it all works out for you.
When your on the right wave length have a read back your posts.
Edited by tighnamara on Tuesday 16th January 21:05
Sorry to break it to you but I feel the same way today.
People who decide to eulogise about their own lives on a topic that those around them are struggling with are as annoying as elvenerife types.
Anyway, despite not being able to resist defending myself, I wish those of you with troublesome marriages the best and those of you, like myself, with great ones, the same.
WestyCarl said:
Taaaaang said:
People who decide to eulogise about their own lives on a topic that those around them are struggling with are as annoying as elvenerife types.
.
I thought the title was "How solid really is your marriage", seems fair to say very..
For years here, people have said "See the lounge/P&P as like a pub and converse as you would with people in person".
Taaaaang said:
Conversations ebb and flow though don't they.
For years here, people have said "See the lounge/P&P as like a pub and converse as you would with people in person".
You wouldn't speak to people like that in the pub though. The internet makes it safe for you to speak your mind.For years here, people have said "See the lounge/P&P as like a pub and converse as you would with people in person".
Sa Calobra said:
Taaaaang said:
Conversations ebb and flow though don't they.
For years here, people have said "See the lounge/P&P as like a pub and converse as you would with people in person".
You wouldn't speak to people like that in the pub though. The internet makes it safe for you to speak your mind.For years here, people have said "See the lounge/P&P as like a pub and converse as you would with people in person".
There is nothing I have ever written on the internet that I wouldn't be comfortable saying to someone in person.
Taaaaang said:
Me? I'm quite forthright in person; perhaps even more so than on the internet as people are always spoiling for a fight online and most of the time it's not worth the effort.
There is nothing I have ever written on the internet that I wouldn't be comfortable saying to someone in person.
Remind me to not be in the same place as you. There's plenty of very annoying people out there already, I don't need another.There is nothing I have ever written on the internet that I wouldn't be comfortable saying to someone in person.
Taaaaang said:
Me? I'm quite forthright in person; perhaps even more so than on the internet as people are always spoiling for a fight online and most of the time it's not worth the effort.
There is nothing I have ever written on the internet that I wouldn't be comfortable saying to someone in person.
Ah yes, one of those. There is nothing I have ever written on the internet that I wouldn't be comfortable saying to someone in person.
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=boorish+definiti...
Taaaaang said:
dirty boy said:
Taaaaang said:
Rather incongruous; criticising a "look at me, look at me, my life is amazing" post in the middle of people talking about how their lives are falling apart makes me a "hard man" or any of the other insults flung my way.
Sad.
Yeah, nobody should be allowed to have fun when everyone else is miserable.Sad.
Let's all be miserable together.
If I was standing listening to my friend tell me about his car woes, for instance, the last thing I would do is pipe up and tell him how I've never had a problem with mine/best car ever/yaddayadda.
FocusRS3 said:
Bump -
Sleeplesscoma , any update matey ?
She wants me out of the house. Her friends think she’s being a dick.Sleeplesscoma , any update matey ?
I broke down at work on Tuesday, that was fun. Been to docs for something to help me sleep.
Oh and her car broke down Wednesday was friendly that day so she borrowed mine for a couple of days, returned it yesterday and at least she spoke to the kids for a few mins. I’m trying to hold normality for the kids. Also the solicitor has said I have grounds for divorce but basically I’m f
ked.She might turn up today to see the kids, but hasn’t actually said anything.
Symptomless Coma said:
She wants me out of the house. Her friends think she’s being a dick.
I broke down at work on Tuesday, that was fun. Been to docs for something to help me sleep.
Oh and her car broke down Wednesday was friendly that day so she borrowed mine for a couple of days, returned it yesterday and at least she spoke to the kids for a few mins. I’m trying to hold normality for the kids. Also the solicitor has said I have grounds for divorce but basically I’m fked.
She might turn up today to see the kids, but hasn’t actually said anything.
Ok doesn’t sound like there is any chance of a reconciliation then.I broke down at work on Tuesday, that was fun. Been to docs for something to help me sleep.
Oh and her car broke down Wednesday was friendly that day so she borrowed mine for a couple of days, returned it yesterday and at least she spoke to the kids for a few mins. I’m trying to hold normality for the kids. Also the solicitor has said I have grounds for divorce but basically I’m f
ked.She might turn up today to see the kids, but hasn’t actually said anything.
So is she suggesting you leave the house and she takes full responsibility of the kids again ?
Going to the docs is a smart move . It also (if there is a big court showdown ) shows how’s it’s affected you .
Sorry to hear this , I’d be reluctant to leave the house
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff