Things that annoy you beyond reason...(Vol 5)

[Gary29]

CAPP0 said:

"Phoning up". WTF is "phoning up"? How do I "phone my friend up"? And why can't I "phone my friend down"?

You're (tele)phoning. Not up, not down, not at a 45 degree angle. Just "phone" them.

Probably stems from the days when you physically had to wind the numbers into the phone itself, akin to winding 'up' a clock , or even older still when they had to wind up a telephone in the field during WW2 etc.

[Europa1]

Apologies if this has been mentioned before, but people who still mention Ronnie Pickering in threads as though it is the height of comedy.

[carguy45]

My workmate is generally a friendly, easygoing placid person who I get on immensely well with.

However, now and again if I do something clumsily - like knock over an empty paper cup on my desk or bump into a door whilst carrying stuff in - he will do this little snigger without even looking up. Every time he does it, I get this insane urge to attack him. Fortunately, common sense always prevails.

[V8mate]

carguy45 said:

My workmate is generally a friendly, easygoing placid person who I get on immensely well with.

However, now and again if I do something clumsily - like knock over an empty paper cup on my desk or bump into a door whilst carrying stuff in - he will do this little snigger without even looking up. Every time he does it, I get this insane urge to attack him. Fortunately, common sense always prevails.

Do it!

This hot weather has been going on long enough for there to be some ace 'Do the Right Thing' -type incidents kicking off

[Clockwork Cupcake]

carguy45 said:

However, now and again if I do something clumsily - like knock over an empty paper cup on my desk or bump into a door whilst carrying stuff in - he will do this little snigger without even looking up.

[carguy45]

Clockwork Cupcake said:

[mko9]

MissChief said:

Was listening to Radio 5's bespoke show on the way home from work around 9:20pm and they were talking about the staggered start that they set off this afternoon. It was supposed to be a grand event with the yellow Jersey front and centre. Except I could have walked faster than they started the race. The worst thing though is that they started talking about it being a 'damp squid'. It's 'damp squib' not fking squid! FFS!

Seriously. Aren't all squid damp? That phrase seems repetitive and redundant,.

[Shakermaker]

mko9 said:

Seriously. Aren't all squid damp? That phrase seems repetitive and redundant,.

That's because it isn't "damp squid" its "damp squib"

A squib is a small explosive type charge, often used in the film industry to simulate a bullet strike. Were one to be "damp" it would not go off. Hence something "going off like a damp squib" is something which didn't go off at all.

[Nimby]

Shakermaker said:

mko9 said:

Seriously. Aren't all squid damp? That phrase seems repetitive and redundant,.

That's because it isn't "damp squid" its "damp squib"

A squib is a small explosive type charge, often used in the film industry to simulate a bullet strike. Were one to be "damp" it would not go off. Hence something "going off like a damp squib" is something which didn't go off at all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUQNUwwIEFo

[mko9]

Shakermaker said:

mko9 said:

MissChief said:

Was listening to Radio 5's bespoke show on the way home from work around 9:20pm and they were talking about the staggered start that they set off this afternoon. It was supposed to be a grand event with the yellow Jersey front and centre. Except I could have walked faster than they started the race. The worst thing though is that they started talking about it being a 'damp squid'. It's 'damp squib' not fking squid! FFS!

Seriously. Aren't all squid damp? That phrase seems repetitive and redundant,.

That's because it isn't "damp squid" its "damp squib"

A squib is a small explosive type charge, often used in the film industry to simulate a bullet strike. Were one to be "damp" it would not go off. Hence something "going off like a damp squib" is something which didn't go off at all.

Yes, thank you for explaining what MissChief already explained in his post, and what I already knew. I was commenting on the ridiculousness of "damp squid".

[Moonhawk]

Spent last weekend bricklaying and just got home from a 4 day plastering course.

Got home a little early - so was looking forward to cracking open a beer and jumping in the hot tub for an hour, while the sun was still on it.

Take the lid off the hot tub - only to find the water cloudy and green. Why? Because I left it to the wife to close it up last time she used it and she didn't bother to put the chemical floater back in. Basically our hot tub has been sitting as a 34oC petri dish for a week. This is a woman who has worked as a microbiologist and has a fking PhD in chemistry!

So instead of a nice relaxing evening soaking my aches and pains away - I now have to drain it and clean it out.



edit: to top it off - she has just rang me on her way home from work and when I explained what had happened and that she had left out the chemical floater - her reply "why does that matter"

I think this needs to go in the 'classic from the Mrs" thread.

Edited by Moonhawk on Thursday 26th July 19:20

[davhill]

Wazzocks that are trigger happy with the car horn.

I'm normally Mr. Placid but this really gets up my spout, as it did this very afternoon.

I was waiting at the roundabout to exit a small retail park. There was a car on the roundabout and it peeled off with no signal. I waited a second to make sure of the driver's intention. I'd pressed the clutch so the auto stop had let my engine start and the car was in gear, brake off.

From behind, 'Peep' from a Citroën C1 in busy bee colours. I thought 'fk off' and proceeded.

Thing is, this brainless amoeba followed me a mile towards town, keeping his distance when a red light stopped the traffic. Then, when I turned right at the next roundabout, he overtook on the inside and buggered off, second turn off.

Tempted as I was, I didn't follow 3/8 inch from his rear bumper.

I almost never beep but next time, I could just lean on the button... for 45 seconds!

[Rich_W]

Moonhawk said:

Spent last weekend bricklaying and just got home from a 4 day plastering course.

Got home a little early - so was looking forward to cracking open a beer and jumping in the hot tub for an hour, while the sun was still on it.

Take the lid off the hot tub - only to find the water cloudy and green. Why? Because I left it to the wife to close it up last time she used it and she didn't bother to put the chemical floater back in. Basically our hot tub has been sitting as a 34oC petri dish for a week. This is a woman who has worked as a microbiologist and has a fking PhD in chemistry!

So instead of a nice relaxing evening soaking my aches and pains away - I now have to drain it and clean it out.



edit: to top it off - she has just rang me on her way home from work and when I explained what had happened and that she had left out the chemical floater - her reply "why does that matter"

I think this needs to go in the 'classic from the Mrs" thread.

Edited by Moonhawk on Thursday 26th July 19:20

This is your early warning sign! There's only really 2 options left now.

1) Divorce

Or

2) Under the patio with her!

[Sheets Tabuer]

The constant barbecues and music from neighbours, I moved to a village on my own for some peace and quiet however three of the houses seem to have constant barbecues and music playing, neighbour one plays morrisey constantly, another country and western and the third Lionel Richie and ABBA all while having barbecues late in to the night. The ladies which I'm reluctant to call them get more and more drunk on wine and cackle like witches as it gets dark.

I had to close my doors to hear a film it's that bad, I'm reluctant to go around as I don't want to be branded a trouble maker as the newbie and made a village outcast.

I can feel my B&W speaker coming out and 100 Ibiza anthems going on loop.

Wonder how you apply to be a lighthouse keeper...

This probably needs to be in a curmudgeon thread!

[Morningside]

Dear media, yes it is hot. Please stop fking going on and on about it.

Oh and while we are on about it. When we had heavy snow we were told to "get ready for more as this will be the norm" due to climate change. Well you cannot have both so shut up!

[loudlashadjuster]

Morningside said:

Oh and while we are on about it. When we had heavy snow we were told to "get ready for more as this will be the norm" due to climate change. Well you cannot have both so shut up!

nsis.jpg

[anonymous-user]

Sheets Tabuer said:

The constant barbecues and music from neighbours, I moved to a village on my own for some peace and quiet however three of the houses seem to have constant barbecues and music playing, neighbour one plays morrisey constantly, another country and western and the third Lionel Richie and ABBA all while having barbecues late in to the night. The ladies which I'm reluctant to call them get more and more drunk on wine and cackle like witches as it gets dark.

I had to close my doors to hear a film it's that bad, I'm reluctant to go around as I don't want to be branded a trouble maker as the newbie and made a village outcast.

I can feel my B&W speaker coming out and 100 Ibiza anthems going on loop.

Wonder how you apply to be a lighthouse keeper...

This probably needs to be in a curmudgeon thread!

This was for sale recently

https://lighthousesforsale.co.uk/burnham-lighthous...

[deeen]

Europa1 said:

Apologies if this has been mentioned before, but people who still mention Ronnie Pickering in threads as though it is the height of comedy.

Who?

[talksthetorque]

Icelandic drivers. Been here a week so far and seen about seven people in total indicate. Probably driven for about 3 1/2 hours all in.
And two of the seven then left them on for about five minutes.
Bus turning right at the roundabout? Nope. Car slowing to turning right on the main road with no way round? Nope.
On the plus side it was 18 degrees and sunny today.

[Frank7]

Sheets Tabuer said:

The constant barbecues and music from neighbours, I moved to a village on my own for some peace and quiet however three of the houses seem to have constant barbecues and music playing, neighbour one plays morrisey constantly, another country and western and the third Lionel Richie and ABBA all while having barbecues late in to the night. The ladies which I'm reluctant to call them get more and more drunk on wine and cackle like witches as it gets dark.

I had to close my doors to hear a film it's that bad, I'm reluctant to go around as I don't want to be branded a trouble maker as the newbie and made a village outcast.

I can feel my B&W speaker coming out and 100 Ibiza anthems going on loop.

Wonder how you apply to be a lighthouse keeper...

This probably needs to be in a curmudgeon thread!

I don’t think it should be in a curmudgeon thread at all, the C/W, Lionel Richie, and ABBA I could suffer providing it was at reasonable volume, but I don’t think a court in the land would convict you if you threw a satchel charge into the midst of the morons playing Morrisey’s crap, and followed it up with a few bursts from an Uzi sub machine gun.