Things that annoy you beyond reason...(Vol 5)

[glenrobbo]

MartG said:

SCEtoAUX said:

"A couple of beers" rarely means two.

That falls into the area of 'man maths' though

Correct. It is actually equivalent to 2 gallons. which is two units of alcohol.

[talksthetorque]

Cotty said:

Who does that? If you can answer that its doing its job and you would be spreading the word.

There's a company called ECILOP that does it.
I'm typing this in whilst racing one of their drivers now. Keeping ahead so far

[glenrobbo]

talksthetorque said:

There's a company called ECILOP that does it.
I'm typing this in whilst racing one of their drivers now. Keeping ahead so far

Oh yeah, I've had a few run-ins with that company. Their drivers are sometimes quite aggressive, flashing their lights and tail-gating whilst blaring their two-tone horns!

And there's a heavy haulage company called "ERIF" that always seem to want to muscle their way to the front of the traffic queue. Even had one pass me on the other side of some road island bollards! Such impatience!

[Rostfritt]

captain_cynic said:

Can I say in my defence, in Australia "couple" means around two and in the UK it means exactly two.

Confirmed via the Colins Australian dictionary and the Oxford English dictionary. I'll remember for future reference.

Or should I still expect frozen pork products in my front lawn?

If you are in a country without foxes, is hammering sausages into your lawn going to do anything? Or will possums do the job?

[MartG]

Rostfritt said:

captain_cynic said:

Can I say in my defence, in Australia "couple" means around two and in the UK it means exactly two.

Confirmed via the Colins Australian dictionary and the Oxford English dictionary. I'll remember for future reference.

Or should I still expect frozen pork products in my front lawn?

If you are in a country without foxes, is hammering sausages into your lawn going to do anything? Or will possums do the job?

Pet cats or dogs will do

[nonsequitur]

captain_cynic said:

Bandit110 said:

I hate it when someone refers to two very expensive items as "a couple".... "Oh yes I've owned a couple of Ferrari 458s, arf arf arf....."

One hundred percent correct usage.

A couple is two or more of the same thing, not more than two. Hence why two people dating are called... a couple.

People who are pedantic about the English language annoy me (to call English a mongrel language is an understatement) but they're not as bad as people who are pedantic about the English language and wrong about it.

Captain, I would like to propose a toast to MARRIED couples.

[yellowjack]

nonsequitur said:

captain_cynic said:

Bandit110 said:

I hate it when someone refers to two very expensive items as "a couple".... "Oh yes I've owned a couple of Ferrari 458s, arf arf arf....."

One hundred percent correct usage.

A couple is two or more of the same thing, not more than two. Hence why two people dating are called... a couple.

People who are pedantic about the English language annoy me (to call English a mongrel language is an understatement) but they're not as bad as people who are pedantic about the English language and wrong about it.

Captain, I would like to propose a toast to MARRIED couples.

'A couple'. Noun = two (generally speaking) of something.

Two people in some form of union are not two of something. They are 'a couple' because they are joined together somehow, by some sort of emotional or legal bond...

'To couple'. Verb = to join together. You know, like railway carriages to form a train. Or individual people to form a partnership.

"A couple" isn't defined as only two, no more, no less, either. It's meaning often depends on the situation, and what you are talking about. A large, expensive item such as tyres for a car? Then I'd presume that someone who told me they wanted "a couple of new tyres" was after buying two. A pair even. But if I was roofing a shed, and asked my son to pass me up "a couple of those felt nails" and he pedantically counted two out of the bag, then I'd throw the hammer at him because by "a couple" I clearly meant "a slack handful"...


For an example of just how loose the definition of "a couple" truly is, try taking you wife (or girlfriend/gender non-binary partner/etc...) shopping for "just a couple of things dear". Or try seeing things from my wife's point of view when I promise that I'm only nipping into the bike shop "for a couple of minutes"...

[captain_cynic]

Rostfritt said:

If you are in a country without foxes, is hammering sausages into your lawn going to do anything? Or will possums do the job?

I've lived in the UK for a few years now.

But plenty of Australian animals will ruin a garden, dingos, wild dogs, boars. Might want to watch out for snakes.

EDIT: forgot to add Australia does have foxes, introduced to get rid of the rabbits that were also introduced... both animals are now considered to be pests.

Edited by captain_cynic on Wednesday 7th February 11:55

[droopsnoot]

Most recently, since the change in the forum software, people who quote posts with photos time and time again.

[MartG]

When you spend the morning freezing your arse off dismantling the rear left brake of your frost coated car, only to find the new brake slider pins you were intending to fit are the wrong size

[nonsequitur]

MartG said:

When you spend the morning freezing your arse off dismantling the rear left brake of your frost coated car, only to find the new brake slider pins you were intending to fit are the wrong size

Brake slider pins, doncha luv 'em.

[Shakermaker]

Tesco baby outfits are my current annoyance beyond reason.

Over the last 4 weeks, I thought I had become rather adept at dressing and undressing my newborn daughter, and our generous family and friends have given us many baby outfits to help with the regular occurences of needing to put a new outfit on.

M&S, White Company, Jojo Mama Bebe have all been given to us, and the baby suits I can have her in and out in under 2 minutes including a nappy change.

But now, we needed some new ones just to help with the regularity of changing her. Grabbed a pack at Tesco. All of them have the poppers on the other side to all the other brands. What had become a simple affair now sees me utterly befuddled and cack-handed, especially at 2.30am after barely any sleep. I'm sure if I had got used to them being this way around to begin with, it would have been fine, but all other suppliers have them with the popper set the other way up.

[OddCat]

Shakermaker said:

Tesco baby outfits are my current annoyance beyond reason.

Over the last 4 weeks, I thought I had become rather adept at dressing and undressing my newborn daughter, and our generous family and friends have given us many baby outfits to help with the regular occurences of needing to put a new outfit on.

M&S, White Company, Jojo Mama Bebe have all been given to us, and the baby suits I can have her in and out in under 2 minutes including a nappy change.

But now, we needed some new ones just to help with the regularity of changing her. Grabbed a pack at Tesco. All of them have the poppers on the other side to all the other brands. What had become a simple affair now sees me utterly befuddled and cack-handed, especially at 2.30am after barely any sleep. I'm sure if I had got used to them being this way around to begin with, it would have been fine, but all other suppliers have them with the popper set the other way up.

I can see where you are going wrong here. Obviously your wife should be doing it............

Yes, okay, okay, I know such comments will be banned shortly - so I just had to get that in while it is still legal to do so

[DavieW]

The brake lights on the new Mini Clubman. They're located in the rear bumper away from the main light clusters so they look like rear fog lights.

[MartG]

Don't you just hate it when a gust of wind exposes your combover...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHwOMWGAg_o

[Rich_W]

Rostfritt said:

If you are in a country without foxes, is hammering sausages into your lawn going to do anything? Or will possums do the job?

Possums LINK - Work safe

FFS eat with your mouth closed!

[RicksAlfas]

Companies who send emails asking you to complete a satisfaction survey. "It will only take 10 minutes of your time".
When you don't comply, they send increasingly snotty emails: "We notice you haven't completed our survey". "We sent you an email on the 25th and you haven't replied". "We know you are busy, but..."

ps off! Fair enough sending the first one, but if I can't be bothered completing it first time, I'm certainly not going to do it because you are pestering me.

[captain_cynic]

RicksAlfas said:

Companies who send emails asking you to complete a satisfaction survey. "It will only take 10 minutes of your time".
When you don't comply, they send increasingly snotty emails: "We notice you haven't completed our survey". "We sent you an email on the 25th and you haven't replied". "We know you are busy, but..."

ps off! Fair enough sending the first one, but if I can't be bothered completing it first time, I'm certainly not going to do it because you are pestering me.

When they do this, they get blocked/marked as spam, GMail is pretty good with that. If I'm not completing a survey, it's because I don't want to.

Worse yet are phone providers sending you spam and when you message STOP you get another message saying it'll take 28 days to process... It didn't take 28 days to fecking start, it doesn't take 28 days to fecking stop (it's just an update in a database, it should be fecking instant).

[Lanker22]

People driving (insert fast, focussed car here) at a snail's pace.

Why not just buy a fking Range Rover if comfort is what you want?!

[talksthetorque]

captain_cynic said:

When they do this, they get blocked/marked as spam, GMail is pretty good with that. If I'm not completing a survey, it's because I don't want to.

Worse yet are phone providers sending you spam and when you message STOP you get another message saying it'll take 28 days to process... It didn't take 28 days to fecking start, it doesn't take 28 days to fecking stop (it's just an update in a database, it should be fecking instant).

Phoneco gives you name and parameters (age, region etc) to Spamco
Phoneco tells Marketingco to organise and scheduleTV add schedule/Billboards/Bus stop posters/shop interior ad refit.
Phoneco Sends Marketingco marketing copy and lists parameters of who they want it sending to.
Marketingco gives list of target parameters to Spamco.
TV co runs ads, Posterco puts posters up, Spamco sends texts out.
So a day after you see the ads, you get the text as a reminder to get your free iPad with your iPhone 9 for only 50 a month and £400 upfront

Stop lists will be sent out monthly to spamco to avoid fetch and delete runs being done too often, as there will be a cost per run.