life contentment, chasing the money....
Discussion
Obviously I may not represent a typical mindset as I posted earlier, but does nobody have a job that fascinates them, excites them, even scares them at times??..for me most of the time, I have just loved the work I had. I still do. I love getting into a deal, a big restructuring, a turnaround , and to get creative as to how to do it. Trying to read the minds of the people on the other side sometimes.
I have never gone to work with a sense of obligation, but at some times when I am engaged in something big I cannot stop thinking about it. Its not about chasing the money at all - I am fine financially.
There is plenty of time for leisure activity as time is lumpy...sometimes incredibly busy, sometimes quiet and I can do things I enjoy...a few track days, road trips, leisure travel and so on. At 69 I am not doing the really intense stuff I did at 45, no doubt, but there is still a huge amount of enjoyment in getting involved in a promising but poorly run company for instance. I got involved with on the board of one in mid 2016, and we made many changes, and the stock tripled up to today., This does not aways happen of course..I have another where we are less successful but will come out modestly ahead.
So, for me, the concept or work a leisure are sort of blurred. I do the stuff I like, and part of that is work. The one thing that has changed from long ago is that I no longer buy more stuff. No watches, no expensive clothes etc, no bigger house. I do buy the occasional new car, but fewer than I used to and I keep some for long,long periods.
The more serious concern is health of course. As it happens I am quite healthy, but there is no question that at some stage I will get something...the world's mortality rate is exactly 100%. I realistically will have to put the toys away one day...no more GT3RS at the Nürburgring and so on.
However, I have deferred the really moronic stuff till then. Maybe I will watch TV (I only watch F1), zero otherwise. Maybe I will go on some sort of cruise or that sort of thing. Or sit on a beach. (nope, no beach) Doing passive stuff has never been in my DNA so it will be a new experience
In the end,I will never seek any kind of heroic medical intervention to stay alive either. Its about being independent and being able to do most of the things I have always done. So far, so good, and there is zero likelihood that I will look back and regret the choices I made.
I have never gone to work with a sense of obligation, but at some times when I am engaged in something big I cannot stop thinking about it. Its not about chasing the money at all - I am fine financially.
There is plenty of time for leisure activity as time is lumpy...sometimes incredibly busy, sometimes quiet and I can do things I enjoy...a few track days, road trips, leisure travel and so on. At 69 I am not doing the really intense stuff I did at 45, no doubt, but there is still a huge amount of enjoyment in getting involved in a promising but poorly run company for instance. I got involved with on the board of one in mid 2016, and we made many changes, and the stock tripled up to today., This does not aways happen of course..I have another where we are less successful but will come out modestly ahead.
So, for me, the concept or work a leisure are sort of blurred. I do the stuff I like, and part of that is work. The one thing that has changed from long ago is that I no longer buy more stuff. No watches, no expensive clothes etc, no bigger house. I do buy the occasional new car, but fewer than I used to and I keep some for long,long periods.
The more serious concern is health of course. As it happens I am quite healthy, but there is no question that at some stage I will get something...the world's mortality rate is exactly 100%. I realistically will have to put the toys away one day...no more GT3RS at the Nürburgring and so on.
However, I have deferred the really moronic stuff till then. Maybe I will watch TV (I only watch F1), zero otherwise. Maybe I will go on some sort of cruise or that sort of thing. Or sit on a beach. (nope, no beach) Doing passive stuff has never been in my DNA so it will be a new experience
In the end,I will never seek any kind of heroic medical intervention to stay alive either. Its about being independent and being able to do most of the things I have always done. So far, so good, and there is zero likelihood that I will look back and regret the choices I made.
RTB said:
The Stoic school of philosophy had some good things to say about just this sort of thing. Essentially, happiness (or rather a well adjusted outlook) is not something you can get from external factors (things, money, relationships, reputation etc etc), if you rely on those things to bring you any sort of happiness then you're going to spend a lot of time being miserable.
The Stoics would see money as a preferable indifferent, if you have the good fortune to have it or the opportunity to acquire it, then fine, have it spend it enjoy it. If the acquisition of money (or status, or power) becomes the over-riding aim in life at the expense of your contentment in the present then it probably better to be happy with what you have.
If you're talking about "happiness", the research tends to find that *relative wealth* is the key, for both men and women.The Stoics would see money as a preferable indifferent, if you have the good fortune to have it or the opportunity to acquire it, then fine, have it spend it enjoy it. If the acquisition of money (or status, or power) becomes the over-riding aim in life at the expense of your contentment in the present then it probably better to be happy with what you have.
If you're making ~£50k a year (optimal job happiness) with a Porsche, and your neighbour makes ~£30k a year with a Kia, you will (on balance) be happy / happier.
But if you're making ~£50k a year, and your neighbour is making ~£500k a year with a trophy wife and a Lambo, you will (on balance) be unhappy / unhappier (whether someone admits it or not).
Yipper said:
If you're talking about "happiness", the research tends to find that *relative wealth* is the key, for both men and women.
If you're making ~£50k a year (optimal job happiness) with a Porsche, and your neighbour makes ~£30k a year with a Kia, you will (on balance) be happy / happier.
But if you're making ~£50k a year, and your neighbour is making ~£500k a year with a trophy wife and a Lambo, you will (on balance) be unhappy / unhappier (whether someone admits it or not).
Is that really true? - care to link to the research. If you're making ~£50k a year (optimal job happiness) with a Porsche, and your neighbour makes ~£30k a year with a Kia, you will (on balance) be happy / happier.
But if you're making ~£50k a year, and your neighbour is making ~£500k a year with a trophy wife and a Lambo, you will (on balance) be unhappy / unhappier (whether someone admits it or not).
If you are constantly comparing your lot with others, then you are doomed to be unhappy. Presumably the research says that the chap on 500K is comparing himself to the CEO on £1.9M and is also therefore unhappy. what a miserable picture you paint.
True happiness comes from being content and part of that comes from not comparing yourself against others. I'd suggest the chap with the Kia has just as good a chance of being content as any of the others.
fat80b said:
Is that really true? - care to link to the research.
If you are constantly comparing your lot with others, then you are doomed to be unhappy. Presumably the research says that the chap on 500K is comparing himself to the CEO on £1.9M and is also therefore unhappy. what a miserable picture you paint.
True happiness comes from being content and part of that comes from not comparing yourself against others. I'd suggest the chap with the Kia has just as good a chance of being content as any of the others.
Spot onIf you are constantly comparing your lot with others, then you are doomed to be unhappy. Presumably the research says that the chap on 500K is comparing himself to the CEO on £1.9M and is also therefore unhappy. what a miserable picture you paint.
True happiness comes from being content and part of that comes from not comparing yourself against others. I'd suggest the chap with the Kia has just as good a chance of being content as any of the others.
Yipper said:
If you're talking about "happiness", the research tends to find that *relative wealth* is the key, for both men and women.
If you're making ~£50k a year (optimal job happiness) with a Porsche, and your neighbour makes ~£30k a year with a Kia, you will (on balance) be happy / happier.
But if you're making ~£50k a year, and your neighbour is making ~£500k a year with a trophy wife and a Lambo, you will (on balance) be unhappy / unhappier (whether someone admits it or not).
Tosh. My neighbour earns many millions. He's one of my best mates. Makes me happy.If you're making ~£50k a year (optimal job happiness) with a Porsche, and your neighbour makes ~£30k a year with a Kia, you will (on balance) be happy / happier.
But if you're making ~£50k a year, and your neighbour is making ~£500k a year with a trophy wife and a Lambo, you will (on balance) be unhappy / unhappier (whether someone admits it or not).
ETA This says everything about you and your attitude to life Yipper, and nothing about the rest of us.
Next.
Edited by GetCarter on Friday 19th January 14:00
FocusRS3 said:
fat80b said:
Is that really true? - care to link to the research.
If you are constantly comparing your lot with others, then you are doomed to be unhappy. Presumably the research says that the chap on 500K is comparing himself to the CEO on £1.9M and is also therefore unhappy. what a miserable picture you paint.
True happiness comes from being content and part of that comes from not comparing yourself against others. I'd suggest the chap with the Kia has just as good a chance of being content as any of the others.
Spot onIf you are constantly comparing your lot with others, then you are doomed to be unhappy. Presumably the research says that the chap on 500K is comparing himself to the CEO on £1.9M and is also therefore unhappy. what a miserable picture you paint.
True happiness comes from being content and part of that comes from not comparing yourself against others. I'd suggest the chap with the Kia has just as good a chance of being content as any of the others.
Last year, I went to a car related event. There was a guy there with a virtually new 488. We were chatting, and his options very nearly cost him what I paid for my 360 (used, obviously).
According to Yipper - I should have been ready to top myself after that conversation.......
GetCarter said:
Tosh. My neighbour earns many millions. He's one of my best mates. Makes me happy.
ETA This says everything about you and your attitude to life Yipper, and nothing about the rest of us.
Next.
By yippers logic - if I move to a crap hole where I will be one of the highest earners, I will be happy.ETA This says everything about you and your attitude to life Yipper, and nothing about the rest of us.
Next.
Edited by GetCarter on Friday 19th January 14:00
RTB said:
The Stoic school of philosophy had some good things to say about just this sort of thing. Essentially, happiness (or rather a well adjusted outlook) is not something you can get from external factors (things, money, relationships, reputation etc etc), if you rely on those things to bring you any sort of happiness then you're going to spend a lot of time being miserable.
The Stoics would see money as a preferable indifferent, if you have the good fortune to have it or the opportunity to acquire it, then fine, have it spend it enjoy it. If the acquisition of money (or status, or power) becomes the over-riding aim in life at the expense of your contentment in the present then it probably better to be happy with what you have.
I can agree with that some of my friends have and earn very little but they seem happy earning enough to get by. Others earn a fortune we never see them and they hardly see each other they are that busy stressed out big time smoke drink hardly a day off I really don’t know why they do it. The Stoics would see money as a preferable indifferent, if you have the good fortune to have it or the opportunity to acquire it, then fine, have it spend it enjoy it. If the acquisition of money (or status, or power) becomes the over-riding aim in life at the expense of your contentment in the present then it probably better to be happy with what you have.
BoRED S2upid said:
I can agree with that some of my friends have and earn very little but they seem happy earning enough to get by. Others earn a fortune we never see them and they hardly see each other they are that busy stressed out big time smoke drink hardly a day off I really don’t know why they do it.
A fair few of my friends are in the middle. Work reasonable hours, mostly, some travel, sometimes weeks away from home but still a very decent wedge and decent work / life balance. For all of these jobs, when things get busy / stressy, you're expected to put hrs necessary in. "Happiness" and life contentment are best served by coming to terms with oneself.
Coming to terms with one's strengths and weaknesses.
Living within one's means is also an important factor as it's miserable to be forever in debt.
Chasing the money will often lead to discontent as there will usually be others with more money than you,so enough is never enough.
Those that just judge their lives purely by financial success often do you at the expense of their families.
One has to look at one's life as a whole not just in terms of financial success.
Much of life can be down to luck,meeting the "right" partner,the health and well being of your family and those are things money cannot buy.
Coming to terms with one's strengths and weaknesses.
Living within one's means is also an important factor as it's miserable to be forever in debt.
Chasing the money will often lead to discontent as there will usually be others with more money than you,so enough is never enough.
Those that just judge their lives purely by financial success often do you at the expense of their families.
One has to look at one's life as a whole not just in terms of financial success.
Much of life can be down to luck,meeting the "right" partner,the health and well being of your family and those are things money cannot buy.
Well said,
I'm 38 and seen both sides of chasing the money. In a nutshell I am driven but with a work to live, not live to work matra.
I've setup and run my own business
Ive had a child
I've had Aston Martins
I've had holidays to the Maldives
I've had a six figure salary
But
I've lost both parents in the space of 18 months
I've worked long hours
I've worked 6-7 day weeks
Suffer with stress and insomnia
I've lost my fiance and mother of my child as she played away whilst I worked so she didn't have to
I've gone from 3 properties to 1 (soon to be 2 again )
I spent a year living in my brothers spare room living out of a suitcase with Thomas the Tank wallpaper whilst paying for the house she lived in.
In the end:
I sold the business
Took a Monday to Friday 0830 to 1730 job
Earn 50% of what I used to
Became happy
I now have the right balance, I am happy.
I have multiple holidays (some abroad, most UK) a year, I see my friends more, the stress is less and life has never been better.
I am still driven and always want to be the best I can but not at the expense of life or health
I'm 38 and seen both sides of chasing the money. In a nutshell I am driven but with a work to live, not live to work matra.
I've setup and run my own business
Ive had a child
I've had Aston Martins
I've had holidays to the Maldives
I've had a six figure salary
But
I've lost both parents in the space of 18 months
I've worked long hours
I've worked 6-7 day weeks
Suffer with stress and insomnia
I've lost my fiance and mother of my child as she played away whilst I worked so she didn't have to
I've gone from 3 properties to 1 (soon to be 2 again
)I spent a year living in my brothers spare room living out of a suitcase with Thomas the Tank wallpaper whilst paying for the house she lived in.
In the end:
I sold the business
Took a Monday to Friday 0830 to 1730 job
Earn 50% of what I used to
Became happy
I now have the right balance, I am happy.
I have multiple holidays (some abroad, most UK) a year, I see my friends more, the stress is less and life has never been better.
I am still driven and always want to be the best I can but not at the expense of life or health
Herbs said:
Well said,
I'm 38 and seen both sides of chasing the money. In a nutshell I am driven but with a work to live, not live to work matra.
I've setup and run my own business
Ive had a child
I've had Aston Martins
I've had holidays to the Maldives
I've had a six figure salary
But
I've lost both parents in the space of 18 months
I've worked long hours
I've worked 6-7 day weeks
Suffer with stress and insomnia
I've lost my fiance and mother of my child as she played away whilst I worked so she didn't have to
I've gone from 3 properties to 1 (soon to be 2 again )
I spent a year living in my brothers spare room living out of a suitcase with Thomas the Tank wallpaper whilst paying for the house she lived in.
In the end:
I sold the business
Took a Monday to Friday 0830 to 1730 job
Earn 50% of what I used to
Became happy
I now have the right balance, I am happy.
I have multiple holidays (some abroad, most UK) a year, I see my friends more, the stress is less and life has never been better.
I am still driven and always want to be the best I can but not at the expense of life or health
How terribly nice of your ex to play 'hide the savaloy' with someone behind your back whilst you worked like a Trojan so she didn't have to work.I'm 38 and seen both sides of chasing the money. In a nutshell I am driven but with a work to live, not live to work matra.
I've setup and run my own business
Ive had a child
I've had Aston Martins
I've had holidays to the Maldives
I've had a six figure salary
But
I've lost both parents in the space of 18 months
I've worked long hours
I've worked 6-7 day weeks
Suffer with stress and insomnia
I've lost my fiance and mother of my child as she played away whilst I worked so she didn't have to
I've gone from 3 properties to 1 (soon to be 2 again
)I spent a year living in my brothers spare room living out of a suitcase with Thomas the Tank wallpaper whilst paying for the house she lived in.
In the end:
I sold the business
Took a Monday to Friday 0830 to 1730 job
Earn 50% of what I used to
Became happy
I now have the right balance, I am happy.
I have multiple holidays (some abroad, most UK) a year, I see my friends more, the stress is less and life has never been better.
I am still driven and always want to be the best I can but not at the expense of life or health
Happened to a mate of mine who worked away whilst she 'played away the he came home from work one day and she'd moved 300 miles away and taken the kids with her.
Needless to say the bloke she ran off with soon got bored with someone else's kids and bolted but not before whacking her over the head with a phone . I hate saying this but at the time i didn't feel sorry for her in the least
FocusRS3 said:
Herbs said:
Well said,
I'm 38 and seen both sides of chasing the money. In a nutshell I am driven but with a work to live, not live to work matra.
I've setup and run my own business
Ive had a child
I've had Aston Martins
I've had holidays to the Maldives
I've had a six figure salary
But
I've lost both parents in the space of 18 months
I've worked long hours
I've worked 6-7 day weeks
Suffer with stress and insomnia
I've lost my fiance and mother of my child as she played away whilst I worked so she didn't have to
I've gone from 3 properties to 1 (soon to be 2 again )
I spent a year living in my brothers spare room living out of a suitcase with Thomas the Tank wallpaper whilst paying for the house she lived in.
In the end:
I sold the business
Took a Monday to Friday 0830 to 1730 job
Earn 50% of what I used to
Became happy
I now have the right balance, I am happy.
I have multiple holidays (some abroad, most UK) a year, I see my friends more, the stress is less and life has never been better.
I am still driven and always want to be the best I can but not at the expense of life or health
How terribly nice of your ex to play 'hide the savaloy' with someone behind your back whilst you worked like a Trojan so she didn't have to work.I'm 38 and seen both sides of chasing the money. In a nutshell I am driven but with a work to live, not live to work matra.
I've setup and run my own business
Ive had a child
I've had Aston Martins
I've had holidays to the Maldives
I've had a six figure salary
But
I've lost both parents in the space of 18 months
I've worked long hours
I've worked 6-7 day weeks
Suffer with stress and insomnia
I've lost my fiance and mother of my child as she played away whilst I worked so she didn't have to
I've gone from 3 properties to 1 (soon to be 2 again
)I spent a year living in my brothers spare room living out of a suitcase with Thomas the Tank wallpaper whilst paying for the house she lived in.
In the end:
I sold the business
Took a Monday to Friday 0830 to 1730 job
Earn 50% of what I used to
Became happy
I now have the right balance, I am happy.
I have multiple holidays (some abroad, most UK) a year, I see my friends more, the stress is less and life has never been better.
I am still driven and always want to be the best I can but not at the expense of life or health
Happened to a mate of mine who worked away whilst she 'played away the he came home from work one day and she'd moved 300 miles away and taken the kids with her.
Needless to say the bloke she ran off with soon got bored with someone else's kids and bolted but not before whacking her over the head with a phone . I hate saying this but at the time i didn't feel sorry for her in the least
), My wife earns slightly more than me (though I take home more as she has a student loan to pay), is in a managerial role (I only manage the computers, she has to manage actual people). and we work in the same company. I wouldn't want her job for all of the tea in china 
But I know that she is very unlikely to the above to me, at least I hope so 
I am a generally happy, optimistic and content person. I have never really had a plan or a career, I've not chased the money as such and I don't get stressed very often.
I work from home, visit clients, my boss leaves me alone to do my work. I'm very well paid. I worry I'm going to be found out....
I know they say money doesn't buy happiness and that is true.
Lack of money can cause much unhappiness though.
I work from home, visit clients, my boss leaves me alone to do my work. I'm very well paid. I worry I'm going to be found out....
I know they say money doesn't buy happiness and that is true.
Lack of money can cause much unhappiness though.
I'm planning on chasing the money for a couple more years (have a wedding and a house move on the horizon) then looking to do something more enjoyable. If I can spend the intervening time setting up a side business/cutting down on outgoings by paying stuff off/investing then that makes a pay cut much more doable.
Worth looking for enjoyable jobs that pay well now of course, but they're few and far between.
Worth looking for enjoyable jobs that pay well now of course, but they're few and far between.
RDMcG said:
Obviously I may not represent a typical mindset as I posted earlier, but does nobody have a job that fascinates them, excites them, even scares them at times??..for me most of the time, I have just loved the work I had. I still do. I love getting into a deal, a big restructuring, a turnaround , and to get creative as to how to do it. Trying to read the minds of the people on the other side sometimes.
I have never gone to work with a sense of obligation, but at some times when I am engaged in something big I cannot stop thinking about it. Its not about chasing the money at all - I am fine financially.
I don’t do the same sort of thing as you describe as a daily job but the work I do does fascinate me. I like the mental challenge of it and the ability to see the impact of my actions on thousands of people in the company I work for. I get frustrated when I can’t do all that I’d like because of big company politics or because people who should know better use my work and time as a pawn, but life is too short to be bored at work.I have never gone to work with a sense of obligation, but at some times when I am engaged in something big I cannot stop thinking about it. Its not about chasing the money at all - I am fine financially.
After a health issue in 2016 I’m a little less about saving for the future and more about living to enjoy today somewhat mind.
OO Beckton said:
I’ve worked constanly since leaving school, never earned much, can’t afford holidays, whiskeys, watches, expensive clothes, a car... anything other than mortgage and bills for small flat. Sad to admit that I wasted my thirties worrying about trivial finances, envying the ease friends’ had with their lives.
But, I am 40 next year and have my health, plus healthy partner and kids. Knowing this can’t last forever means that for me, family is all that really matters. I won’t regret having not bought stuff, I will regret time missed with people.
You have all that really matters mate . But, I am 40 next year and have my health, plus healthy partner and kids. Knowing this can’t last forever means that for me, family is all that really matters. I won’t regret having not bought stuff, I will regret time missed with people.
Have had the cars , the holidays, drank the wine and eaten the food and I miss none of it now.
I continue with work only for the family as that’s all I care about now .
Without your health none of the other stuff is relevant anyhow
Yipper said:
If you're talking about "happiness", the research tends to find that *relative wealth* is the key, for both men and women.
If you're making ~£50k a year (optimal job happiness) with a Porsche, and your neighbour makes ~£30k a year with a Kia, you will (on balance) be happy / happier.
But if you're making ~£50k a year, and your neighbour is making ~£500k a year with a trophy wife and a Lambo, you will (on balance) be unhappy / unhappier (whether someone admits it or not).
I agree. Sometimes you can get stuck in a bubble and a bit of perspective can help you to reevaluate your life and what you have/haven’t got. If you're making ~£50k a year (optimal job happiness) with a Porsche, and your neighbour makes ~£30k a year with a Kia, you will (on balance) be happy / happier.
But if you're making ~£50k a year, and your neighbour is making ~£500k a year with a trophy wife and a Lambo, you will (on balance) be unhappy / unhappier (whether someone admits it or not).
When I went to India/Philippines/Thailand I saw really poor people, sometimes literally living in ditches. It made me realise how lucky I am to be English, have the capacity to earn enough money and live in a country where I can be warm and comfortable. As it goes I have a nice house, it could always be bigger and better, but it is warm and dry, I never worry about whether I’m going to have enough to eat plus I have vehicles and cash to do things. What an incredibly lucky guy I am!
I thank my lucky stars I am not one of those poor souls I saw, scraping an existence out there with no hope of getting out. The latest watch or whatever is really not important in the grand scheme of things.
Douglas Quaid said:
I agree. Sometimes you can get stuck in a bubble and a bit of perspective can help you to reevaluate your life and what you have/haven’t got.
When I went to India/Philippines/Thailand I saw really poor people, sometimes literally living in ditches. It made me realise how lucky I am to be English, have the capacity to earn enough money and live in a country where I can be warm and comfortable. As it goes I have a nice house, it could always be bigger and better, but it is warm and dry, I never worry about whether I’m going to have enough to eat plus I have vehicles and cash to do things. What an incredibly lucky guy I am!
I thank my lucky stars I am not one of those poor souls I saw, scraping an existence out there with no hope of getting out. The latest watch or whatever is really not important in the grand scheme of things.
Spot on . Recent events have changed things for me and I care not about a big house and possessions anymore . Frankly I can’t wait for it all to go and I’ll be going back to he basics . Less aggro and hassle When I went to India/Philippines/Thailand I saw really poor people, sometimes literally living in ditches. It made me realise how lucky I am to be English, have the capacity to earn enough money and live in a country where I can be warm and comfortable. As it goes I have a nice house, it could always be bigger and better, but it is warm and dry, I never worry about whether I’m going to have enough to eat plus I have vehicles and cash to do things. What an incredibly lucky guy I am!
I thank my lucky stars I am not one of those poor souls I saw, scraping an existence out there with no hope of getting out. The latest watch or whatever is really not important in the grand scheme of things.
GetCarter said:
Yipper said:
If you're talking about "happiness", the research tends to find that *relative wealth* is the key, for both men and women.
If you're making ~£50k a year (optimal job happiness) with a Porsche, and your neighbour makes ~£30k a year with a Kia, you will (on balance) be happy / happier.
But if you're making ~£50k a year, and your neighbour is making ~£500k a year with a trophy wife and a Lambo, you will (on balance) be unhappy / unhappier (whether someone admits it or not).
Tosh. My neighbour earns many millions. He's one of my best mates. Makes me happy.If you're making ~£50k a year (optimal job happiness) with a Porsche, and your neighbour makes ~£30k a year with a Kia, you will (on balance) be happy / happier.
But if you're making ~£50k a year, and your neighbour is making ~£500k a year with a trophy wife and a Lambo, you will (on balance) be unhappy / unhappier (whether someone admits it or not).
ETA This says everything about you and your attitude to life Yipper, and nothing about the rest of us.
Next.
Edited by GetCarter on Friday 19th January 14:00
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