Modern toilets cannot cope
Discussion
bongtom said:
Here in Asia we are blessed with the “bum gun”, like a less Parisienne version of the bidet.
I’ve not used bog paper in six years and my arse (very hairy) thanks me for it. There’s been many times I’ve used half a roll to smear s
te across my hole only to then having a sneaky nugget decide it wants to come out.
My tiny wife (35kg) does the biggest chunks I’ve ever seen on a human. It must hurt like hell when they emerge. I told her giving birth would be less painful.
All hail the bum gun. (And you can also clean smearage and wash your feet)
Wonderful things, we first came across them visiting Sharm on diving holidays in the very early 90's. We'd never really gone further than West Wales before so forrin climes were exotic. There was this 'ose with a nozzle. That's very thoughtful we all thought, they're very well set up for divers here and supply a high pressure supply for cleaning your kit after dives. You know, masks, regulators and personal things, can even get it into the mouthpieces. Not surprisingly this did result in an unfortunate incident at 20 meters a few days later.I’ve not used bog paper in six years and my arse (very hairy) thanks me for it. There’s been many times I’ve used half a roll to smear s
te across my hole only to then having a sneaky nugget decide it wants to come out. My tiny wife (35kg) does the biggest chunks I’ve ever seen on a human. It must hurt like hell when they emerge. I told her giving birth would be less painful.
All hail the bum gun. (And you can also clean smearage and wash your feet)
We got wise to this after a few trips and really got into it, fresh jets to blow away the cobwebs so to speak. Phil, bless him, really got into it. Back in Port Talbot, run the Hozelock up the stairs, no problem. What is OK as warmish water in tropical heat doesn't really translate well with mains pressure and cold water from a Welsh reservoir in November....
Rawwr said:
It's 2018, for crying out loud! Why has nobody invented a toilet which immediately vapourises your leavings with a mesh of lasers
Not sure I’d want to be the one who helps calibrate it though.. you could end up with a flayed ball bag the likes of which would make Ramsey Bolton proud...Bone Rat said:
Wonderful things, we first came across them visiting Sharm on diving holidays in the very early 90's. We'd never really gone further than West Wales before so forrin climes were exotic. There was this 'ose with a nozzle. That's very thoughtful we all thought, they're very well set up for divers here and supply a high pressure supply for cleaning your kit after dives. You know, masks, regulators and personal things, can even get it into the mouthpieces. Not surprisingly this did result in an unfortunate incident at 20 meters a few days later.
We got wise to this after a few trips and really got into it, fresh jets to blow away the cobwebs so to speak. Phil, bless him, really got into it. Back in Port Talbot, run the Hozelock up the stairs, no problem. What is OK as warmish water in tropical heat doesn't really translate well with mains pressure and cold water from a Welsh reservoir in November....
We got wise to this after a few trips and really got into it, fresh jets to blow away the cobwebs so to speak. Phil, bless him, really got into it. Back in Port Talbot, run the Hozelock up the stairs, no problem. What is OK as warmish water in tropical heat doesn't really translate well with mains pressure and cold water from a Welsh reservoir in November....
It's time I think!
A brilliant read
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
A brilliant read
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Edited by 750turbo on Tuesday 21st August 19:33
750turbo said:
I'm honoured.But it wouldn't have been possible without everyone else also talking s**t for the arst 13 pages.
Anther irritation about modern loos is the lack of service parts.
I had a leaking siphon on one of ours, could I get to the washer? Nope no chance,whole unit in the bin,more plastic landfill for the sake of a penny's worth of washer!
Oh and the bloke in the above video, Is a Bath university estates dept maintenance guy who is doubtless clearing up after some inconsiderate student couldn't be arsed to clear up his/her own waste.
I had a leaking siphon on one of ours, could I get to the washer? Nope no chance,whole unit in the bin,more plastic landfill for the sake of a penny's worth of washer!
Oh and the bloke in the above video, Is a Bath university estates dept maintenance guy who is doubtless clearing up after some inconsiderate student couldn't be arsed to clear up his/her own waste.
Lazermilk said:
At my old place of work there was one woman who would piss all over the seats and not clean it up, everyone knew who it was as the other women had worked it out after some time, since it was always a mess after the phantom pisser had been in, they would just try to avoid it after she had been in there.
Well if they didn't insist on putting the seat down all the time, it wouldn't be a problem. Hoist with their own petards!Saleen836 said:
Amateur.CanAm said:
Lazermilk said:
At my old place of work there was one woman who would piss all over the seats and not clean it up, everyone knew who it was as the other women had worked it out after some time, since it was always a mess after the phantom pisser had been in, they would just try to avoid it after she had been in there.
Well if they didn't insist on putting the seat down all the time, it wouldn't be a problem. Hoist with their own petards!Saleen836 said:
Surprised they didn't need an epidural for that!
This is by far the funniest thread I've read on PH
Slightly off topic but I thought of this thread when I saw this involving bodily functions at the work place....
http://www.ladbible.com/funny/viral-security-guard...
Check out the video... enjoy !
Slightly off topic but I thought of this thread when I saw this involving bodily functions at the work place....
http://www.ladbible.com/funny/viral-security-guard...
Check out the video... enjoy !
Rawwr said:
It's 2018, for crying out loud! Why has nobody invented a toilet which immediately vapourises your leavings with a mesh of lasers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A47slzMItAIAlthough burning turds to ashes won't exactly be scent-free, I think.
MikeT66 said:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A47slzMItAI
Although burning turds to ashes won't exactly be scent-free, I think.
If there's no water to flush the crapper, what makes them think there will be enough electricity in the African bush land to incinerate the turds?Although burning turds to ashes won't exactly be scent-free, I think.
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