Modern toilets cannot cope
Discussion
Brought to you from the "you couldn't make it up" files....
Butt it seems that some mad Austrian scientist has invented a catalytic converter for your bum!
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6167243/I...
(the comments are a good butt short read as well).
So the article says, you shove one up when the sun doesn't shine and it takes the smell and noise away.
Looks like a cigarette butt for your butt to me and the idea walking around with what can only be described as an whales open blowhole does not appeal. Pppffffffff, it surely would still make that noise. Brings a whole new meaning to the car terms "blow-off " or "dump" valve.
Butt the main concern would be how would a modern toilet cope, I think these would act like a volcanic plug and would increase the fury of any eruption that followed. Even what would have been a minor one would end up like Krakatoa.
I bet all of those fashion concsious PH'ers, with their fancy watches,shoes and dandy clothes, will buy these in their droves. More anarchic PH'ers may of course work out a way of parking their butts on lawns and blasting their own sausages into the soil. Butt would they have to put the arse-cats in the freezer for a while first?
Butt it seems that some mad Austrian scientist has invented a catalytic converter for your bum!
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6167243/I...
(the comments are a good butt short read as well).
So the article says, you shove one up when the sun doesn't shine and it takes the smell and noise away.
Looks like a cigarette butt for your butt to me and the idea walking around with what can only be described as an whales open blowhole does not appeal. Pppffffffff, it surely would still make that noise. Brings a whole new meaning to the car terms "blow-off " or "dump" valve.
Butt the main concern would be how would a modern toilet cope, I think these would act like a volcanic plug and would increase the fury of any eruption that followed. Even what would have been a minor one would end up like Krakatoa.
I bet all of those fashion concsious PH'ers, with their fancy watches,shoes and dandy clothes, will buy these in their droves. More anarchic PH'ers may of course work out a way of parking their butts on lawns and blasting their own sausages into the soil. Butt would they have to put the arse-cats in the freezer for a while first?
Chris Type R said:
First in with the "May as well shove it up your arse for all the good it'd do." comment.
I dunno, maybe if a few arse-catalytic converter wearers got together they could do "pan pipe moods" or something. Wouldn't be as good as a sans arse-cat Frog Chorus though, not enough bass.Well I have a new one to add.
On Wednesday, I was visiting clients and lunch was provided, BBQ from an outside company. Very nice it was too.
Later in the afternoon there were a few rumblings from down below, nothing unusual there but on the drive back to my hotel, I felt a massive fart building and the instant I attempted to let loose, knew that it wasn't just an escape of gas.
It's amazing how the old rusty sheriffs badge can go from slack to instant clamp like a high speed camera shutter.
Fortunately, not far from the hotel so I made it up to the room with pressure increasing all the time, sat down on the toilet and let rip which lasted for about 5 seconds.
The thing with American toilets is they aren't very deep. No long drop here.
The water is probably a max of 6 inches away from you and I've had some higher.
It's always fun when you have to hold your balls out of the water.
But I digress.
As I was doing a high pressure squirt, I could feel the splash back.
Such was the force, I could see flecks of the bum gravy flying sideways from the gap between the porcelain and the seat, flecking the bath & vanity unit.
Upon completion, it was obvious this wasn't going to be a couple of wipes.
I stood up, turned and looked in the mirror and it looked just like somebody had used a toilet seat as a stencil and sprayed my arse brown. A perfect oval of s
t.
Ive heard people say this before but I genuinely had to get in the shower to clean up.
Like a poster above, I used my wet towels to clean up the back of the toilet, bath, vanity unit and floor splashes, then had to take them to the hotel coin op laundry as I couldn't face leaving them for the maid.
TLDR: Shat everywhere.
On Wednesday, I was visiting clients and lunch was provided, BBQ from an outside company. Very nice it was too.
Later in the afternoon there were a few rumblings from down below, nothing unusual there but on the drive back to my hotel, I felt a massive fart building and the instant I attempted to let loose, knew that it wasn't just an escape of gas.
It's amazing how the old rusty sheriffs badge can go from slack to instant clamp like a high speed camera shutter.
Fortunately, not far from the hotel so I made it up to the room with pressure increasing all the time, sat down on the toilet and let rip which lasted for about 5 seconds.
The thing with American toilets is they aren't very deep. No long drop here.
The water is probably a max of 6 inches away from you and I've had some higher.
It's always fun when you have to hold your balls out of the water.
But I digress.
As I was doing a high pressure squirt, I could feel the splash back.
Such was the force, I could see flecks of the bum gravy flying sideways from the gap between the porcelain and the seat, flecking the bath & vanity unit.
Upon completion, it was obvious this wasn't going to be a couple of wipes.
I stood up, turned and looked in the mirror and it looked just like somebody had used a toilet seat as a stencil and sprayed my arse brown. A perfect oval of s
t.Ive heard people say this before but I genuinely had to get in the shower to clean up.
Like a poster above, I used my wet towels to clean up the back of the toilet, bath, vanity unit and floor splashes, then had to take them to the hotel coin op laundry as I couldn't face leaving them for the maid.
TLDR: Shat everywhere.
Berkshire bred said:
[quote=_MIKE_]
Id like to think that I've done some fairly impressive sausages in My time, however THAT is unnatural. Get help.LeadFarmer said:
Anyone here ever submitted one of their photos to ratemypooh.com?
I’ve been tempted...HD Adam said:
Well I have a new one to add.
On Wednesday, I was visiting clients and lunch was provided, BBQ from an outside company. Very nice it was too.
Later in the afternoon there were a few rumblings from down below, nothing unusual there but on the drive back to my hotel, I felt a massive fart building and the instant I attempted to let loose, knew that it wasn't just an escape of gas.
It's amazing how the old rusty sheriffs badge can go from slack to instant clamp like a high speed camera shutter.
Fortunately, not far from the hotel so I made it up to the room with pressure increasing all the time, sat down on the toilet and let rip which lasted for about 5 seconds.
The thing with American toilets is they aren't very deep. No long drop here.
The water is probably a max of 6 inches away from you and I've had some higher.
It's always fun when you have to hold your balls out of the water.
But I digress.
As I was doing a high pressure squirt, I could feel the splash back.
Such was the force, I could see flecks of the bum gravy flying sideways from the gap between the porcelain and the seat, flecking the bath & vanity unit.
Upon completion, it was obvious this wasn't going to be a couple of wipes.
I stood up, turned and looked in the mirror and it looked just like somebody had used a toilet seat as a stencil and sprayed my arse brown. A perfect oval of st.
Ive heard people say this before but I genuinely had to get in the shower to clean up.
Like a poster above, I used my wet towels to clean up the back of the toilet, bath, vanity unit and floor splashes, then had to take them to the hotel coin op laundry as I couldn't face leaving them for the maid.
TLDR: Shat everywhere.
ChristOn Wednesday, I was visiting clients and lunch was provided, BBQ from an outside company. Very nice it was too.
Later in the afternoon there were a few rumblings from down below, nothing unusual there but on the drive back to my hotel, I felt a massive fart building and the instant I attempted to let loose, knew that it wasn't just an escape of gas.
It's amazing how the old rusty sheriffs badge can go from slack to instant clamp like a high speed camera shutter.
Fortunately, not far from the hotel so I made it up to the room with pressure increasing all the time, sat down on the toilet and let rip which lasted for about 5 seconds.
The thing with American toilets is they aren't very deep. No long drop here.
The water is probably a max of 6 inches away from you and I've had some higher.
It's always fun when you have to hold your balls out of the water.
But I digress.
As I was doing a high pressure squirt, I could feel the splash back.
Such was the force, I could see flecks of the bum gravy flying sideways from the gap between the porcelain and the seat, flecking the bath & vanity unit.
Upon completion, it was obvious this wasn't going to be a couple of wipes.
I stood up, turned and looked in the mirror and it looked just like somebody had used a toilet seat as a stencil and sprayed my arse brown. A perfect oval of s
t.Ive heard people say this before but I genuinely had to get in the shower to clean up.
Like a poster above, I used my wet towels to clean up the back of the toilet, bath, vanity unit and floor splashes, then had to take them to the hotel coin op laundry as I couldn't face leaving them for the maid.
TLDR: Shat everywhere.
I found that apparently in Germany some of the toilets at those rest stops by the side of the autobahn can't cope. Stopped off at one on the way home from Poland and went in to see that someone had curled one out not in the cubicle..but the urinal. Or maybe said person was just a grotty bd.
d.75Black said:
I found that apparently in Germany some of the toilets at those rest stops by the side of the autobahn can't cope. Stopped off at one on the way home from Poland and went in to see that someone had curled one out not in the cubicle..but the urinal. Or maybe said person was just a grotty bd.
depends which bit of Germany. The pork, potatoes, stodge, beer and sausage part of Germany... those sd.tters must seem some action.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff