Things you always wanted to know the answer to [Vol. 4]

[Flibble]

Timmy45 said:

Ah but if you put a Jaffa cake in a pond it will sink, the same as a biscuit. Therefore a biscuit. A cake will float due to it's tiny air pocket buoyancy.

Jaffa cakes float. Therefore they are WITCHES!!

[Shakermaker]

gothatway said:

Timmy45 said:

Ah but if you put a Jaffa cake in a pond it will sink, the same as a biscuit. Therefore a biscuit. A cake will float due to it's tiny air pocket buoyancy.

That's outrageous. Who the hell puts cake in a pond ? Shooting would be too good for them.

Clearly, Timmy45 puts cake in a pond. I knew he was up to no good in this thread.. https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&... and now I find out he's also throwing biscuits, cake and Jaffa cakes in a pond as well!

[Dr Jekyll]

gothatway said:

That's outrageous. Who the hell puts cake in a pond ? Shooting would be too good for them.

Who the hell shoots cake?

[V8mate]

Shakermaker said:

gothatway said:

Timmy45 said:

Ah but if you put a Jaffa cake in a pond it will sink, the same as a biscuit. Therefore a biscuit. A cake will float due to it's tiny air pocket buoyancy.

That's outrageous. Who the hell puts cake in a pond ? Shooting would be too good for them.

Clearly, Timmy45 puts cake in a pond. I knew he was up to no good in this thread.. https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&... and now I find out he's also throwing biscuits, cake and Jaffa cakes in a pond as well!

I wonder if they skim well?

[MartG]

V8mate said:

Shakermaker said:

gothatway said:

Timmy45 said:

Ah but if you put a Jaffa cake in a pond it will sink, the same as a biscuit. Therefore a biscuit. A cake will float due to it's tiny air pocket buoyancy.

That's outrageous. Who the hell puts cake in a pond ? Shooting would be too good for them.

Clearly, Timmy45 puts cake in a pond. I knew he was up to no good in this thread.. https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&... and now I find out he's also throwing biscuits, cake and Jaffa cakes in a pond as well!

I wonder if they skim well?

Too light

[Jonnny]

What's the quickest way to empty a bottle?

Upright and it glugs, or tilt so the air can get out?

[gobuddygo]

Jonnny said:

What's the quickest way to empty a bottle?

Upright and it glugs, or tilt so the air can get out?

Swirl it around so it creates a vortex inside that lets the air in.

[Shakermaker]

Jonnny said:

What's the quickest way to empty a bottle?

Upright and it glugs, or tilt so the air can get out?

Put a straw into the bottle, upend the bottle and blow into the straw

[talksthetorque]

Jonnny said:

What's the quickest way to empty a bottle?

Upright and it glugs, or tilt so the air can get out?

Cut the bottom off

[poing]

Jonnny said:

What's the quickest way to empty a bottle?

Upright and it glugs, or tilt so the air can get out?

Smash it against a wall or the floor.

[StanleyT]

Timmy45 said:

captain_cynic said:

How do stores (Tesco, Morrisons, et al.) produce biscuits so cheap?

I'm currently enjoying Tesco Brand Custard Creams and I've got a packet of Tesco Jam Sandwich Creams (Jammie Dodgers) at home, both packs cost about 40p. Jammie Dodgers are usually a quid a pack.

Checked the pack and it says it was produced in the UK so there goes my theory of them being made from the crushed dreams of 3rd world kids.

I bet all of the components are produced in SE Asia, then air freighted to the UK for final assembley allowing them to be sold as 'made' in the UK.

About 25 years ago I worked for a contract manufacturer who made the sandwiches for M&S. A sandwich produced in the factory would sell for £1 or so in those days in an M&S store. We could buy them in the works canteen for 10-12p and the firm made the same profit in the canteen as it did selling them onto M&S - though the firm had its own transport division so was getting back some of the transportation costs as well when passing the sandwich up the supply chain. Having made the sandwiches though.....not many people ate them. The mark up on selling food as branded was huge back then and I imagine still is, hence the discounters selling at half price but still making money.

I do remember the day we ran short on mayonnaise, so used custard, turmeric and excess salt and pepper in the mix (we used to mix tonnes at a time each day) for Coronation chicken. It was cheaper to have a batch rejected from customer complaints than to fail to deliver!!!! Don't remember any significant complaints on that batch but I presume most sandwich consumers just chuck it in the bin rather than go back and complain. Our internal QA person was "easily influenced" to look the other way (by a years supply of 50 kg manufactured ham 'squares' or other food item for sale on the black market!

[98elise]

Timmy45 said:

Flibble said:

captain_cynic said:

Flibble said:

Bear in mind that some biscuits are VAT exempt (though not those snickers bars I suspect).

I had to Google that. It gave me a chuckle to read:

"In the eyes of UK law, biscuits and cakes are necessities and are zero rated."

Chocolates and chocolate covered biscuits are not VAT exempt, but chocolate covered cake is.

Hence the Jaffa Cake legal case, which determined that they are cakes (and thus zero rated) not biscuits.

But that's crazy, where do you find them, not in the cakes area they're in the biscuits area rubbing shoulders with digestives and hob knobs.

By that logic my pate is cheese rather than liver.!

The are called cakes, they are soft like a cake, and they go stale like a cake.

If you make a big one it looks very much like a cake.

[Exige77]

98elise said:

Timmy45 said:

Flibble said:

captain_cynic said:

Flibble said:

Bear in mind that some biscuits are VAT exempt (though not those snickers bars I suspect).

I had to Google that. It gave me a chuckle to read:

"In the eyes of UK law, biscuits and cakes are necessities and are zero rated."

Chocolates and chocolate covered biscuits are not VAT exempt, but chocolate covered cake is.

Hence the Jaffa Cake legal case, which determined that they are cakes (and thus zero rated) not biscuits.

But that's crazy, where do you find them, not in the cakes area they're in the biscuits area rubbing shoulders with digestives and hob knobs.

By that logic my pate is cheese rather than liver.!

The are called cakes, they are soft like a cake, and they go stale like a cake.

If you make a big one it looks very much like a cake.

They are a cake that’s eaten as if it were a biscuit. It’s about what it is and not what it’s used for. HMRC thought different but they where wrong.

[Clockwork Cupcake]

Timmy45 said:

But that's crazy, where do you find them, not in the cakes area they're in the biscuits area rubbing shoulders with digestives and hob knobs.

Stop complaining. Do you want to pay 20% more for them??

[talksthetorque]

Anyone here dunked a jaffa cake?

[gazzarose]

Now this is a strange one. About 10 years ago I knocked out one of my front top teeth in a fall and so now have a false tooth on a plate. To hold it in I use fixodent, just like the old people on the adverts who enjoy the cinema and eating apples. The vast majority of food isn't a problem to my tooth, I just tend to bite up with my bottom tooth more than biting down when eating something an apple. One food that does always cause a problem is corn on the cob. Loose sweetcorn is fine, but if I have corn on the cob, even biting up with my bottom teeth, within a few minutes my tooth comes loose. It's almost like the better or the juice is eating the tooth glue. Anyone else have the same problem? If so, WTF is that all about t!

[FiF]

Clockwork Cupcake said:

talksthetorque said:

you couldn't possibly eat a whole bag full of in one sitting.

Show me a packet of biscuits and I'll show you an empty wrapper.

Only way I can deal with it is to not buy them. It was an absolute bugger walking into Lidl when hungry and the biscuits were the first thing on your left.

Perhaps we should start a biscuity equivalent of the stopping drinking thread.

[Roofless Toothless]

gazzarose said:

Now this is a strange one. About 10 years ago I knocked out one of my front top teeth in a fall and so now have a false tooth on a plate. To hold it in I use fixodent, just like the old people on the adverts who enjoy the cinema and eating apples. The vast majority of food isn't a problem to my tooth, I just tend to bite up with my bottom tooth more than biting down when eating something an apple. One food that does always cause a problem is corn on the cob. Loose sweetcorn is fine, but if I have corn on the cob, even biting up with my bottom teeth, within a few minutes my tooth comes loose. It's almost like the better or the juice is eating the tooth glue. Anyone else have the same problem? If so, WTF is that all about t!

Like this?

https://arlindenor.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/tum...

[talksthetorque]

FiF said:

Clockwork Cupcake said:

talksthetorque said:

you couldn't possibly eat a whole bag full of in one sitting.

Show me a packet of biscuits and I'll show you an empty wrapper.

Only way I can deal with it is to not buy them. It was an absolute bugger walking into Lidl when hungry and the biscuits were the first thing on your left.

Perhaps we should start a biscuity equivalent of the stopping drinking thread.

I may have been using diversion tactics initially but it looks as though I am amongst friends, with the Magnus Magnussons ( if you are old enough to remember his catchphrase) of the biscuit eating world.

My record is sitting down to watch a football match as a student - and polishing off 16 penguins before half time.

My god that sounds wrong.

[Clockwork Cupcake]

talksthetorque said:

My record is sitting down to watch a football match as a student - and polishing off 16 penguins before half time.

My god that sounds wrong.

Well at least you didn't blow a seal.