Who is right, ex or new partner?
Discussion
It's for your daughter, not the ex. Seems your new partner is aware of how it all works, knowing deep down your ex will probably spend some of the extra money on herself as opposed to going directly to the nursery costs.
That doesn't matter, what matters is the money leaves your account with the sole intention of it going towards your daughter.
That doesn't matter, what matters is the money leaves your account with the sole intention of it going towards your daughter.
I don't envy your position at all, but it needs perspective. I pay lots, and I mean lots towards my two children every month in a single sum ruled via the courts and without divulging the total amount the spousal maintainance part is £900 a month on it own. The child maint for my two is a lot more than that in addition.
Your partner is correct in one sense. You will find that you do pay more on top. I do. My two, who I see every 2 weeks after a 700 mile round trip since they moved up north, always seem to need new things when they are with me. Clothes, trainers etc etc. Which at their age I do not want to see them without. I'm their Dad - so I buy them - I know I shouldn't in one respect, but on the other hand - I'm their Dad - so I do.
I don't begrudge a single penny I give for my children - they are my children - I do have a different view on spousal maintainance, especially as my ex walked off with 73% of all assets.
It gets easier with time - do the right thing by your children - they didn't ask for any of this - and they need you. They need you to be their Dad.
Your partner is correct in one sense. You will find that you do pay more on top. I do. My two, who I see every 2 weeks after a 700 mile round trip since they moved up north, always seem to need new things when they are with me. Clothes, trainers etc etc. Which at their age I do not want to see them without. I'm their Dad - so I buy them - I know I shouldn't in one respect, but on the other hand - I'm their Dad - so I do.
I don't begrudge a single penny I give for my children - they are my children - I do have a different view on spousal maintainance, especially as my ex walked off with 73% of all assets.
It gets easier with time - do the right thing by your children - they didn't ask for any of this - and they need you. They need you to be their Dad.
Sten. said:
Interesting point.. but I think that's one for another thread. None of that matters here, the new partner has no authority to dictate what the OP pays towards his child, on that I'd hope we all agree 
My ex robbed me of everything by using blackmail.Any pound the op gives his ex wife is a pound out of his pocket and a pound into his ex wife's.
Why should he pay £1.00 and not £0.50 each?
Just because he's a man should he have to pay more?
Why did the marriage break up?
Was she a moaning cold sex-less old harridan?
Or was that just my situation?
Do not judge this guy. He may well be in the wrong but equally it may just be as much the ex's fault.
Why should the new partner have money taken from the pair of them just because the wife says so. Why shouldn't she query it? The new partner is helping to support the old one.
Grant12 said:
That bit happened a few months ago...and no it wasn’t planned. She seemed as shocked as I was, but I’m certainly not going to ask her to do anything just because it’s inconvenient.
You might not have planned it, but someone else did, wonder who. Condom condom condom, don't care what birth control they are using, use your own because you can't trust theirs, as she has proved. 
There's so many variable that have to be considered before anyone can say who's right or wrong.
Roofless Toothless said:
Couldn't we have a separate forum for these Mumsnet threads? Then we'd all know how to avoid them.
Wasn't "Who is right, ex or new partner?" a good enough indicator?
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