F*it list

[Usget]

Sticks. said:

Wallpapering; whelks; car repairs; put up a greenhouse; use a cross channel ferry; weekend supermarket shopping; broccoli; online dating; trust a shoulders-up photo; have a bridge (dentistry).

All I can think of for now.

I'm intrigued by the presence of "cross channel ferry" in that list, what on earth happened?!

My own is "wear a tie". I'm capable of looking perfectly smart with an open neck shirt and ties are the most uncomfortable thing in the entire world. Is there a name for a phobia of having something touching your Adam's apple? If so, I've got that, and therefore am excused wearing a tie, even for funerals.

[HarryFlatters]

Pommy said:

HarryFlatters said:

Shaving.

I hate shaving.

Just Veet them.

Oh no, not again.

[djc206]

Usget said:

I'm intrigued by the presence of "cross channel ferry" in that list, what on earth happened?!

My own is "wear a tie". I'm capable of looking perfectly smart with an open neck shirt and ties are the most uncomfortable thing in the entire world. Is there a name for a phobia of having something touching your Adam's apple? If so, I've got that, and therefore am excused wearing a tie, even for funerals.

This! Completely agree, I did relent and wear one for my own wedding last month but not without protest.

[Sticks.]

Usget said:

I'm intrigued by the presence of "cross channel ferry" in that list, what on earth happened?!

Nothing, it's that I can hardly walk straight on dry land. And the Shuttle is quicker.

Didn't think of a tie. Added.

[Northbloke]

Nodding along to a lot of these.

I've long followed Ricardo's Law of Comparative advantage so the following are right out:

Car maintenance beyond filling with petrol or air in the tyres.
DIY of any kind above fitting a plug or fuse.
(I make an exception for gardening as I find that quite therapeutic)

Potholing - fill your bath with 4 inches of cold water and switch the lights off. Climb into the bath fully clothed and hit yourself on the head with a tea tray every 30 seconds for 3 hours. Same thing. For an added thrill, lock the door and stay in the bathroom for 13 days. Hey presto, Cave Diving.

Marriage. That joke about finding someone you don't like and giving them half (I wish) your house is not funny.

Work in the rat race, attempt to climb the greasy pole. Not worth it, wasted years.

<possibly helpful mode>
Got into activity holidays and used this lot:

https://www.responsibletravel.com/types/

If those that don't like holidays can't find something in there to take their fancy then you're probably right, stay at home. I fancy loads, maybe even a volunteering one.

Also love music but can't stand the overpopulated festival with portaloo experience. Try this:

http://onthebluecruise.com/

A music festival with top grub and a bed and bog yards away. With added sun. Other musical genres are available. Yes the anti-cruisers won't like it but great experience and great fun (and not too expensive).

[anonymous-user]

thebraketester said:

Brave Fart said:

Go to jazz gigs (because I thought it was cool, it wasn't, it's just shyte music).

Must have been going to the wrong ones

+1

Go to Le Caprice on a Sunday night and you'll see what a good Jazz night is.

That's just scratching the surface of good live Jazz, there are many good nights to be had.

[996Keef]

Northbloke said:

Potholing - fill your bath with 4 inches of cold water and switch the lights off. Climb into the bath fully clothed and hit yourself on the head with a tea tray every 30 seconds for 3 hours. Same thing. For an added thrill, lock the door and stay in the bathroom for 13 days. Hey presto, Cave Diving.

[anonymous-user]

Just going back to the point earlier about people saying "all jazz is crap and sounds like just sounds like random noise".

It's really quite an uneducated thing to say. A bit like saying you hate all Rock music because you once heard Queens 'Bohemian Rhapsody'

The problem is that when someone says 'Jazz' people think of things like the Fast Show comedy sketch 'Jazz Club':

https://youtu.be/MsQYzpOHpik

Either that or they assume it sounds like what people danced to in the 1920's.

That kind of stuff is Classic Jazz, Afro-Cuban, Free Jazz, Avant-Garde, and Fusion.

It's really quite niche and won't be played in many places or listened to by many people.

I can't stand it myself.

But start listening to different types of Jazz and you may find a whole heap of stuff you really love.

I like things like Bossa Nova, Cool Jazz, Smooth Jazz etc.

Not sure what sort of Jazz you like? Want to start wearing turtle-neck jumpers and smoking Cigars? Want people to think you are culturally superior?

Well, why don't you start with this handy guide to all the different styles:

https://youtu.be/fnvElHz34uk

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Lord Marylebone said:

Just going back to the point earlier about people saying "all jazz is crap and sounds like just sounds like random noise".

It's really quite an uneducated thing to say.

I think it's entirely possible to have a type of music, film, food, car, or whatever, that you don't like.

If someone came on here and said "I don't like seafood", I think that's entirely reasonable. Now obviously they haven't tried every type of seafood, but the overall flavour is not for them. To pipe up and say "you're uneducated, you should try Newfoundland lobster straight from the lobster pot" is rather pretentious, and they probably wouldn't like it anyway.

Someone said on here they never wanted to drive a 4 pot diesel. I don't see posters listing really good 4 pot diesels and telling them they are uneducated.

Unfortunately, I've heard a lot of jazz, dragged along by friends etc. Some of it in quite well respected jazz venues, the jazz club in Dover St Mayfair for example. Ronnie Scott's or whatever. It's all fking awful!!!! I don't like it, I will never like it, and I don't wish to waste a second of my life listening to some cacophony in the hope that I will have some kind of epiphany.

[anonymous-user]

Nice!

[Hub]

Lord Marylebone said:

The problem is that when someone says 'Jazz' people think of things like the Fast Show comedy sketch 'Jazz Club':

https://youtu.be/MsQYzpOHpik

You've set me off watching Fast Show clips now!

"Tune? This is Jaaaaazzz"

https://youtu.be/PNTqZ8dzXnQ

[Johnspex]

Lord Marylebone said:

thebraketester said:

Brave Fart said:

Go to jazz gigs (because I thought it was cool, it wasn't, it's just shyte music).

Must have been going to the wrong ones

+1

Go to Le Caprice on a Sunday night and you'll see what a good Jazz night is.

That's just scratching the surface of good live Jazz, there are many good nights to be had.

You like jazz? Are you a middle aged middle class Guardian reading Van Morison fan?

[Bradgate]

Work more than 40 hours a week. Unless it’s your own business, working silly hours is a complete mug’s game. As an ex-hotel & restaurant manager, I know of what I speak...

Having kids.

Cleaning my house myself. Life’s way too short.

Washing my car myself. Ditto.

[dai1983]

hyphen said:

"All inclusive beach holidays" don't need to have pools. They have these Island thingies that you can also go to.

So you can spend a week at work, whilst the rest of us spend a week in the Maldives swimming in the ocean

Or does this all important job of yours not pay enough to afford anything more than a Benidorm

I can afford and have been to the more expensive places but they're all pretty much the same. The nationality of the holiday bellends change and everything's a level more pretentious the more you spend. Funnily enough I mostly dislike my job (that's another topic) but I dislike boring package beach holidays even more.

Of course I have holidays but it'll usually be near places where I can easily do things that I enjoy doing. The dogs usually come too and my son prefers seeing and doing new things compared to being in the pool all day. My wife is a proper lizard and likes the sun lounger but she usually goes with her mother who's the same.

[dai1983]

djc206 said:

Most Brits for reasons beyond my comprehension spend a fortnight each year getting sunburnt and sandy, most of them book those trips as a package because it’s convenient so they end surrounded by other Brits. They could be in Majorca, Mexico or Mauritius but it doesn’t really matter because they’re just lounging around a pool or beach drinking cocktails.

This.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Lord Marylebone said:

+1

Go to Le Caprice on a Sunday night and you'll see what a good Jazz night is.

I've been. It was dreadful. Like paying for tinnitus.

[Pommy]

Johnspex said:

Lord Marylebone said:

thebraketester said:

Brave Fart said:

Go to jazz gigs (because I thought it was cool, it wasn't, it's just shyte music).

Must have been going to the wrong ones

+1

Go to Le Caprice on a Sunday night and you'll see what a good Jazz night is.

That's just scratching the surface of good live Jazz, there are many good nights to be had.

You like jazz? Are you a middle aged middle class Guardian reading Van Morison fan?

So i thought id be open minded and check out YT and see what jazz at Le Caprice looks like and couldnt find many clips but what i did find is still not what id say is entertaining


https://youtu.be/9iRvr8HvrA8 (is this Le Caprice?)

https://youtu.be/BQ3b0kGos5U

Edited by Pommy on Wednesday 25th July 00:01

[Johnniem]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

thebraketester said:

Brave Fart said:

Go to jazz gigs (because I thought it was cool, it wasn't, it's just shyte music).

Must have been going to the wrong ones

Not, he's right, it's all rubbish. I think jazz would be better if the band members got together before the gig started and agreed to play the same songs, at the same time. Because every one I've ever been to, all the musicians (and I use that tem loosely) appear to be playing entirely different tunes. It's just a fking hideous din.

Modern jazz is, indeed, ste. Not to be mistaken for traditional Jazz, which can be pretty good and entertaining. Don't do modern jazz as each member of the band just goes headlong into showing off his/her skills with no resonance to what the hell is going on with everyone else in the band.

[thebraketester]

Johnniem said:

TwigtheWonderkid said:

thebraketester said:

Brave Fart said:

Go to jazz gigs (because I thought it was cool, it wasn't, it's just shyte music).

Must have been going to the wrong ones

Not, he's right, it's all rubbish. I think jazz would be better if the band members got together before the gig started and agreed to play the same songs, at the same time. Because every one I've ever been to, all the musicians (and I use that tem loosely) appear to be playing entirely different tunes. It's just a fking hideous din.

Don't do modern jazz as each member of the band just goes headlong into showing off his/her skills with no resonance to what the hell is going on with everyone else in the band.

Not quite true..... that again is based on your opinion rather than fact.

[Johnniem]

thebraketester said:

Johnniem said:

TwigtheWonderkid said:

thebraketester said:

Brave Fart said:

Go to jazz gigs (because I thought it was cool, it wasn't, it's just shyte music).

Must have been going to the wrong ones

Not, he's right, it's all rubbish. I think jazz would be better if the band members got together before the gig started and agreed to play the same songs, at the same time. Because every one I've ever been to, all the musicians (and I use that tem loosely) appear to be playing entirely different tunes. It's just a fking hideous din.

Don't do modern jazz as each member of the band just goes headlong into showing off his/her skills with no resonance to what the hell is going on with everyone else in the band.

Not quite true..... that again is based on your opinion rather than fact.

It is subjective, I'll warrant that. I don't like it. I do, however, enjoy traditional jazz and others don't, (please refer to above posts).