Good Quotes

[Doofus]

diesel do said:

Not read the whole thread so apologies if already mentioned, but:

“Your God gave you two ears and one mouth. Use them in that proportion and you’ll not go far wrong.”

I remember an altercation at work when one person smugly told another "I see you have one mouth and two ears. I think that means you should talk less, and listen more." To which the other replied "I see you have one head and two legs. That means you should think less, and fk off."

[PopsandBangs]

Confucius say:

Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

[DodgyGeezer]

Doofus said:

I remember an altercation at work when one person smugly told another "I see you have one mouth and two ears. I think that means you should talk less, and listen more." To which the other replied "I see you have one head and two legs. That means you should think less, and fk off."

Quality

[Doofus]

DodgyGeezer said:

Doofus said:

I remember an altercation at work when one person smugly told another "I see you have one mouth and two ears. I think that means you should talk less, and listen more." To which the other replied "I see you have one head and two legs. That means you should think less, and fk off."

Quality

I've been looking for an opportunity to use it myself for about fifteen years now.

[Swift93]

Often attributed to Einstein.

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."

[anonymous-user]

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad .- Homer Simpson

[Steamer]

Cliffe60 said:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad .- Homer Simpson

I think we had a Simpson's thread - but my favorite Homer quote is (not quite as profound as the above):

Lisa:
I'm studying for the math fair. If I win, I'll get a brand new protractor.

Homer:
Too bad we don't live on a farm.

[Trophy Husband]

"It doesn't matter which model you get, they've all got the same chip in their head"
Danny Lancashire about women.

[Doofus]

Trophy Husband said:

"It doesn't matter which model you get, they've all got the same chip in their head"
Danny Lancashire about women.

Who's Danny Lancashire?

[Trophy Husband]

Doofus said:

Trophy Husband said:

"It doesn't matter which model you get, they've all got the same chip in their head"
Danny Lancashire about women.

Who's Danny Lancashire?

My Construction Manager on the Olympic development in 2010. He was a star and got me through 18 months of being away from home with his anecdotes and one liners.

[littleredrooster]

Steamer said:

I think we had a Simpson's thread - but my favorite Homer quote is (not quite as profound as the above):

Lisa:
I'm studying for the math fair. If I win, I'll get a brand new protractor.

Homer:
Too bad we don't live on a farm.

“24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not!”

[Steamer]

littleredrooster said:

Steamer said:

I think we had a Simpson's thread - but my favorite Homer quote is (not quite as profound as the above):

Lisa:
I'm studying for the math fair. If I win, I'll get a brand new protractor.

Homer:
Too bad we don't live on a farm.

“24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not!”

I'm having that!

[biggbn]

Cliffe60 said:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad .- Homer Simpson

Attributes to Miles Kington....and Brian o Driscoll!!

[glenrobbo]

Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol.

/ P. Zed.

[LordGrover]

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Andy Capp

[glenrobbo]

littleredrooster said:

Steamer said:

I think we had a Simpson's thread - but my favorite Homer quote is (not quite as profound as the above):

Lisa:
I'm studying for the math fair. If I win, I'll get a brand new protractor.

Homer:
Too bad we don't live on a farm.

“24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not!”

Bart (in despair): "This is the worst day of my life!"

Homer: "No, son, this is the worst day of your life so far!"

[anonymous-user]

Homer, you've ruined a perfectly good jacket.

Wrong marge, I've ruined two perfectly good jackets...

[Steamer]

LordGrover said:

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Andy Capp

Arrr that must be where Oscar Wilde got his inspiration from!

[DodgyGeezer]

glenrobbo said:

Bart (in despair): "This is the worst day of my life!"

Homer: "No, son, this is the worst day of your life so far!"

a lesson for life

[dartissimus]

Second marriage, a triumph of hope over experience