Good Quotes

Author
Discussion

TwigtheWonderkid

43,372 posts

150 months

Tuesday 31st August 2021
quotequote all
pits said:
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, don't teach a man to fish and feed yourself, he's a grown man and fishing is not that hard
Ron Swanson.
Built a man a fire and he's warm for a day, set him on fire and he's warm for life.

BryanC

1,107 posts

238 months

Tuesday 31st August 2021
quotequote all
' I've disappointed a lot of ladies in my time '

Sharing my own quote - used quite often to get me out of multiple difficult situations.
Avoids any unrealistic expectations of me.
( Widowed, single, retired, still having a good social diary but not wishing to get tied down at my time of life )

TwigtheWonderkid

43,372 posts

150 months

Tuesday 31st August 2021
quotequote all
Good fortune weighs very little, but few are strong enough to hold on to it.

Lord E38

53 posts

33 months

Thursday 2nd September 2021
quotequote all
"It would be better if there were nothing. Since there is more pain than pleasure on earth, every satisfaction is only transitory, creating new desires and new distresses, and the agony of the devoured animal is always far greater than the pleasure of the devourer." - Arthur Schopenhauer

Mr Squarekins

1,045 posts

62 months

Thursday 2nd September 2021
quotequote all
You know nothing,
in fact you know less than nothing.
If you knew that you knew nothing, it'd be something,
but you don't.

Mr Squarekins

1,045 posts

62 months

Thursday 2nd September 2021
quotequote all
Duck Soup:

"Will you marry me? Are you rich? Answer the second question first" - Groucho Marx

Dr Jekyll

23,820 posts

261 months

Saturday 4th September 2021
quotequote all
'When I am weaker than you, I ask you for Freedom, because that is according to your principles; when I am Stronger than you, I take away your freedom because that is according to my principles.'

Frank Herbert, Children of Dune

andy_s

19,400 posts

259 months

Saturday 4th September 2021
quotequote all
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

Smoggy XJR

550 posts

70 months

Saturday 4th September 2021
quotequote all
Fruit bats like a banana, Gotham bats like an angel.

Smoggy XJR

550 posts

70 months

Saturday 4th September 2021
quotequote all
FGS, iI changed that!

Obviously Botham.

Error_404_Username_not_found

2,203 posts

51 months

Saturday 4th September 2021
quotequote all
Johnny Rotten aka John Lydon, on the steps of the High Court after the ruling that "Never Mind the B@ll@cks" was not obscene...
Reporter: How do you feel about the verdict"?
Johnny: "Great! bks is legal! bks, bks, bks"!

Live on the BBC news. Cracked me right up.

Error_404_Username_not_found

2,203 posts

51 months

Saturday 4th September 2021
quotequote all
One I spotted by accident in the Yellow Pages alphabetical list of headings, sometime in the late 80s.

Boring: see Civil Engineers.

(Sadly BT removed it from later editions, the spoilsports).

pingu393

7,804 posts

205 months

Saturday 4th September 2021
quotequote all
Scabutz said:
I had a good one the other day I liked. It was about doing tough endurance events, which I like doing.

"90% of it is mental, the other 10% is in your head".

No idea who said it first.
"Pain is mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter"

"If you want Sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between st and Syphillis"

pingu393

7,804 posts

205 months

Sunday 5th September 2021
quotequote all
The Mad Monk said:
pigeyman said:
SVX said:
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't climb a ladder with a bell in each hand" - Vic Reeves.
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't stop it from shoving Lego up it's bum." - Will McKenzie
You can take a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
"You can lead a horse to water, but a donkey must be a pencil"

stevemiller

536 posts

165 months

Sunday 5th September 2021
quotequote all
Mr Squarekins said:
Duck Soup:

"Will you marry me? Are you rich? Answer the second question first" - Groucho Marx
One of many, and up there with his best.

Swift93

250 posts

33 months

Sunday 5th September 2021
quotequote all
"Thousands have lived without love, not one without water."

W. H. Auden

“There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.”

Soren Kierkegaard


Cudd Wudd

1,089 posts

125 months

Sunday 5th September 2021
quotequote all
Danny Vinyard with help from Abraham L:

So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned - my conclusion, right?

Well, my conclusion is: Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it.

Derek says it's always good to end a paper with a quote. He says someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong. So I picked a guy I thought you'd like.

'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'

In hindsight, starting sentences with 'so' 3 times was unlikely to find you friends on here, Danny.

Cudd Wudd

1,089 posts

125 months

Sunday 5th September 2021
quotequote all
"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." Andy Bernard

"It’s like I used to tell my wife. I do not apologise unless I think I’m wrong, and if you don’t like it, you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife, and I’ll say it to my next one, too.” Stanley Hudson

“Would I ever leave this company? Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly… I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.” Dwight Schrute

Sporky

6,257 posts

64 months

Sunday 5th September 2021
quotequote all
Mrs Bradley - "There are three golden rules to raising a child. Sadly, no-one knows what any of them are."

Doofus

25,820 posts

173 months

Sunday 5th September 2021
quotequote all
Lee Mack:

"My wife and I always thought we wanted three kids, but now that we've got two, we've decided we only want one."