Things you have overhead but shouldn't have...
Discussion
Seen something i shouldn't have..
Back when i was 13/14 i used to borrow the odd VHS tape from the 'upstairs' collection and take them round a mates who's parents seemed never to be in.
One Friday we had a 4 pack of tenants super between 3 of us, i brought the tape.
Everyone sat down and i (as usual) bunged the tape of the week into the machine, pressed play and turned round to return to the sofa to watch with the rest.
as i'm walking back i catch a glimpse of my mates face which comprised of wide eyes and an evil smile.
I thought i must have picked a particularly kinky tape this time.
I turned round to see, and it was my mum and dad at it. Mum was on all fours.
I'm fast approaching 50 now and its one image i will NEVER be able to get out of my head!
Back when i was 13/14 i used to borrow the odd VHS tape from the 'upstairs' collection and take them round a mates who's parents seemed never to be in.
One Friday we had a 4 pack of tenants super between 3 of us, i brought the tape.
Everyone sat down and i (as usual) bunged the tape of the week into the machine, pressed play and turned round to return to the sofa to watch with the rest.
as i'm walking back i catch a glimpse of my mates face which comprised of wide eyes and an evil smile.
I thought i must have picked a particularly kinky tape this time.
I turned round to see, and it was my mum and dad at it. Mum was on all fours.
I'm fast approaching 50 now and its one image i will NEVER be able to get out of my head!
Rawwr said:
"God, if I fart, there's going to be cum everywhere."
Adding context to this doesn't improve the story.
Worryingly I have virtually the same story!Adding context to this doesn't improve the story.
I used to work with a bunch of reprobates in the motor trade, during one of the many morning motivational sessions (anyone having experience will understand) a particularly camp and vocal gay colleague, of the type who had to mention he was gay every 5 minutes (think the only gay in the village), loudly farts.
Then apologises by saying "sorry if that smells of cum it's mine".
As a relatively naive 21 year old that job was an eye opener.
Incidentally he was also the one who bought a Renault Vel satis. Probably quite famous now.
RedWhiteMonkey said:
bobtail4x4 said:
in a meeting with french developers
one said to the other
pensez-vous qu'ils veulent une boîte noire
aka do they want a bung?
one said to the other
pensez-vous qu'ils veulent une boîte noire
aka do they want a bung?
A "black box" is a bung in French? I wonder why.
His friend chimed in with, “Ils doivent offrir un pot-de-vin.”
To me this literally meant, “They should offer a pot of wine.”
I looked quizzically at my cousin, who compounded it by saying, “Quelque chose sous la table”, “Something under the table.”
The penny finally dropped, they meant a bribe, or bung.
Never heard of boite noire as a bung, perhaps it’s different areas, different slang.
PixelpeepS3 said:
Seen something i shouldn't have..
Back when i was 13/14 i used to borrow the odd VHS tape from the 'upstairs' collection and take them round a mates who's parents seemed never to be in.
One Friday we had a 4 pack of tenants super between 3 of us, i brought the tape.
Everyone sat down and i (as usual) bunged the tape of the week into the machine, pressed play and turned round to return to the sofa to watch with the rest.
as i'm walking back i catch a glimpse of my mates face which comprised of wide eyes and an evil smile.
I thought i must have picked a particularly kinky tape this time.
I turned round to see, and it was my mum and dad at it. Mum was on all fours.
I'm fast approaching 50 now and its one image i will NEVER be able to get out of my head!
Back when i was 13/14 i used to borrow the odd VHS tape from the 'upstairs' collection and take them round a mates who's parents seemed never to be in.
One Friday we had a 4 pack of tenants super between 3 of us, i brought the tape.
Everyone sat down and i (as usual) bunged the tape of the week into the machine, pressed play and turned round to return to the sofa to watch with the rest.
as i'm walking back i catch a glimpse of my mates face which comprised of wide eyes and an evil smile.
I thought i must have picked a particularly kinky tape this time.
I turned round to see, and it was my mum and dad at it. Mum was on all fours.
I'm fast approaching 50 now and its one image i will NEVER be able to get out of my head!
Many years ago i was browsing car photos on my mates computer, totally innocently as we had done a few roads trip etc when i stumbled across a random folder, on opening it there was pictures of a tall blonde girl in full business suit, make up, the works. These pics had been taken in my mates living the room.
The old dog i thought, good on him as he was and still is a nice quiet reserved chap and i was pleased he was having some secret fun.
On closer inspection as i flicked through it was actually him in full drag, dressed as a woman, blonde wig, grey business suit with pencil skirt, tights etc. I got through a few and had the feeling it might get more graphic so didn't dare click any further and didn't want to, felt like a total but innocent invasion of privacy. I felt pretty bad as it was a genuine error. To this day i have never dared to ask or try and discuss, but it does intrigue me. Whatever floats his boat i don't care.
Last time i visited he had grown his hair long and was wearing knee high boots with tight jeans!
The old dog i thought, good on him as he was and still is a nice quiet reserved chap and i was pleased he was having some secret fun.
On closer inspection as i flicked through it was actually him in full drag, dressed as a woman, blonde wig, grey business suit with pencil skirt, tights etc. I got through a few and had the feeling it might get more graphic so didn't dare click any further and didn't want to, felt like a total but innocent invasion of privacy. I felt pretty bad as it was a genuine error. To this day i have never dared to ask or try and discuss, but it does intrigue me. Whatever floats his boat i don't care.
Last time i visited he had grown his hair long and was wearing knee high boots with tight jeans!
Frank7 said:
paua said:
Europa1 said:
24 hours to Germany? Monsieur Bleriot, is that you?
The flight from NZ to Dubai is close to 18 hrs, another 6 or so to Frankfurt.He and his German wife and two kids had migrated from Germany to Brisbane, but after a couple of years, his wife missed her mother, father, and brother too much, and said that she had to go back to the Fatherland, taking the kids with her.
He was sure that one cold winter in North-West Germany, and she’d be back, but he reckoned wrong, the best she came up with was, she’d have 4 or 5 weeks in Oz, June, July, or August time, and he could have a month in Germany at Christmas.
He stood it for two trips, but he missed his wife and kids too much, sold his house and car, and is back in Germany for good now.
geeks said:
... I once made the mistake of asking my French Taxi driver something in English and this turned into a 40 minute rant about why I should only speak French in France and how me being English was all that was wrong with France etc. ..
Did you point out that if not for the English, he would be speaking German! 
kowalski655 said:
geeks said:
... I once made the mistake of asking my French Taxi driver something in English and this turned into a 40 minute rant about why I should only speak French in France and how me being English was all that was wrong with France etc. ..
Did you point out that if not for the English, he would be speaking German! 
geeks said:
Have you ever been in a French Taxi? It’s terrifying at the best of times, half the time you are lucky if they actually stop the car for to get out
Similar experience here. Spent an enjoyable hours in a French taxi discussing why it wasn't my personal fault that the English bumped off Joan of Arc.ETA in French...Obvs
Turbotechnic said:
Things I shouldn't have seen...
Working in the motor trade you see some sights!
One of which was a Vauxhall Corsa owned by a very attractive young blonde lady and in need of a new 1/4 panel and I was given the job of stripping the car down and carrying out the repair. I opened the boot to start stripping the interior out and I was greeted by lots of skimpy underwear some of which was heavily soiled from what I can only imagine was from an infestation of snails.
eBay is your friend here. Working in the motor trade you see some sights!
One of which was a Vauxhall Corsa owned by a very attractive young blonde lady and in need of a new 1/4 panel and I was given the job of stripping the car down and carrying out the repair. I opened the boot to start stripping the interior out and I was greeted by lots of skimpy underwear some of which was heavily soiled from what I can only imagine was from an infestation of snails.
kowalski655 said:
geeks said:
... I once made the mistake of asking my French Taxi driver something in English and this turned into a 40 minute rant about why I should only speak French in France and how me being English was all that was wrong with France etc. ..
Did you point out that if not for the English, he would be speaking German! I’ve been going there once or twice per year since the mid eighties, as far as I can make out, even though the Allies, particularly Russia, fought them to a standstill, they all speak German there.
My grandkids, both born and raised in Germany, with a German mother, and English father, (my son), speak English like BBC newsreaders, as does my German daughter-in-law, and most people under 50 there can speak it too, but by your judgement, they should all be speaking English and/or Russian.
It’s like Japan, the U.S., at great cost, kicked their asses all the way back to Tokyo, I’ve never been there, but I doubt they all speak English with American accents.
As for French taxis, I’ve never had a really bad experience with them, they drive a bit fast, but so what, they know what they’re doing, real taxi drivers all over the world should.
I had a minor disagreement with one in Paris once, I asked for X hotel, and he was fumbling with a Sat-Nav, entering the address.
I told him (in French), that I was a taxi driver in London, and I didn’t have one in my cab.
He asked how I found my way around the city, I told him that my Sat-Nav was, “entre mes oreilles”, between my ears.
It all went quiet after that, but I still tipped him, one of my own.
Anthony Micallef said:
I was in a pub in Limehouse once and on the way to the loo could hear a very animated phone conversation going on. This was coming from behind a door that was obviously just meant for the pub owners. The bit of conversation I heard was "...I don't want to start having to put holes in people!".
Similar to mine. Although I didn’t hear it. I saw it. Doubt anyone will believe me but I was stuck in traffic during New Years about 6 years ago. Looked to my right to see a bloke in a sports car putting the magazine in his gun and fitting the suppressor.
Pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to see that. Didn’t do anything about it as it took me a few minutes to register what I had seen.
ashleyman said:
Similar to mine. Although I didn’t hear it. I saw it.
Doubt anyone will believe me but I was stuck in traffic during New Years about 6 years ago. Looked to my right to see a bloke in a sports car putting the magazine in his gun and fitting the suppressor.
Pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to see that. Didn’t do anything about it as it took me a few minutes to register what I had seen.
No news reports of shootings the next day? I would sDoubt anyone will believe me but I was stuck in traffic during New Years about 6 years ago. Looked to my right to see a bloke in a sports car putting the magazine in his gun and fitting the suppressor.
Pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to see that. Didn’t do anything about it as it took me a few minutes to register what I had seen.
t myself if I saw that!Frank7 said:
Those throwaway lines make me smile, as I understand it, Germany surrendered in May 1945.
I’ve been going there once or twice per year since the mid eighties, as far as I can make out, even though the Allies, particularly Russia, fought them to a standstill, they all speak German there.
My grandkids, both born and raised in Germany, with a German mother, and English father, (my son), speak English like BBC newsreaders, as does my German daughter-in-law, and most people under 50 there can speak it too, but by your judgement, they should all be speaking English and/or Russian.
It’s like Japan, the U.S., at great cost, kicked their asses all the way back to Tokyo, I’ve never been there, but I doubt they all speak English with American accents.
As for French taxis, I’ve never had a really bad experience with them, they drive a bit fast, but so what, they know what they’re doing, real taxi drivers all over the world should.
I had a minor disagreement with one in Paris once, I asked for X hotel, and he was fumbling with a Sat-Nav, entering the address.
I told him (in French), that I was a taxi driver in London, and I didn’t have one in my cab.
He asked how I found my way around the city, I told him that my Sat-Nav was, “entre mes oreilles”, between my ears.
It all went quiet after that, but I still tipped him, one of my own.
Frank please get a new hobby that doesn’t involve PH!I’ve been going there once or twice per year since the mid eighties, as far as I can make out, even though the Allies, particularly Russia, fought them to a standstill, they all speak German there.
My grandkids, both born and raised in Germany, with a German mother, and English father, (my son), speak English like BBC newsreaders, as does my German daughter-in-law, and most people under 50 there can speak it too, but by your judgement, they should all be speaking English and/or Russian.
It’s like Japan, the U.S., at great cost, kicked their asses all the way back to Tokyo, I’ve never been there, but I doubt they all speak English with American accents.
As for French taxis, I’ve never had a really bad experience with them, they drive a bit fast, but so what, they know what they’re doing, real taxi drivers all over the world should.
I had a minor disagreement with one in Paris once, I asked for X hotel, and he was fumbling with a Sat-Nav, entering the address.
I told him (in French), that I was a taxi driver in London, and I didn’t have one in my cab.
He asked how I found my way around the city, I told him that my Sat-Nav was, “entre mes oreilles”, between my ears.
It all went quiet after that, but I still tipped him, one of my own.
Your faux ( “mytho” in French) worldly tales are getting tedious.
eltax91 said:
ashleyman said:
Similar to mine. Although I didn’t hear it. I saw it.
Doubt anyone will believe me but I was stuck in traffic during New Years about 6 years ago. Looked to my right to see a bloke in a sports car putting the magazine in his gun and fitting the suppressor.
Pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to see that. Didn’t do anything about it as it took me a few minutes to register what I had seen.
No news reports of shootings the next day? I would sDoubt anyone will believe me but I was stuck in traffic during New Years about 6 years ago. Looked to my right to see a bloke in a sports car putting the magazine in his gun and fitting the suppressor.
Pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to see that. Didn’t do anything about it as it took me a few minutes to register what I had seen.
t myself if I saw that!We were stuck in traffic just off Hyde Park, it sounds so cliché, but the guy was dressed smartly, was wearing driving gloves and was clean shaven with short hair. Car was black, perhaps an F-Type? I'm not sure if they were even out then. I was just casually glancing around and noticed him fiddling with his glovebox so kinda just stared and then saw the gun, magazine and suppressor.
That's what made it weird, it wasn't your average chav with a gun or wannabe gangster, he looked like he was straight out a movie set.
Some won't believe me but honestly this happened exactly as I describe. I remember going round the roundabout with the Wellington Arch and down towards The Grosvenor. I just carried on South and went home like I'd seen nothing.
perhaps not a true fit to the thread but a couple that make me smile.
I was on a conference call with colleagues from various IT project teams listening to one of the Americans holding forth about how we should go forward with a particular project.
there were 3 of us around the table in London. another guy walks in and says 'is that Rick talking, he's a boring fk'. at which point one of the others dives for the mute button.
Cue Rick saying 'I take it from the accent that was Peter, thank you for your input'
the 2nd was my brother and his ex, on holiday in Spain with the kids. my nephew was 4 and had a toothache, so was miserable and sobbing.
in a left down to reception, German and French people get in, the Germans started on about the misbehaved English boy, and the French people obviously knew German and the people and joined in.
when they reached the reception floor, my ex-sister in law, blocked the lift doors and let off a stream of abuse at the French and German people in both languages.
unfortunately for them, her dad was German, her mum french, they were so shocked that they just stood there and let the doors close.
she also speaks Spanish and Italian because of having lived in both countries growing up. always envious of her ability to pick up a new language, I can just about order a beer.
I was on a conference call with colleagues from various IT project teams listening to one of the Americans holding forth about how we should go forward with a particular project.
there were 3 of us around the table in London. another guy walks in and says 'is that Rick talking, he's a boring f
k'. at which point one of the others dives for the mute button.Cue Rick saying 'I take it from the accent that was Peter, thank you for your input'
the 2nd was my brother and his ex, on holiday in Spain with the kids. my nephew was 4 and had a toothache, so was miserable and sobbing.
in a left down to reception, German and French people get in, the Germans started on about the misbehaved English boy, and the French people obviously knew German and the people and joined in.
when they reached the reception floor, my ex-sister in law, blocked the lift doors and let off a stream of abuse at the French and German people in both languages.
unfortunately for them, her dad was German, her mum french, they were so shocked that they just stood there and let the doors close.
she also speaks Spanish and Italian because of having lived in both countries growing up. always envious of her ability to pick up a new language, I can just about order a beer.
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