Works Xmas parties - any shenanigans?
Discussion
Vaud said:
sc0tt said:
Why do people say they have a crazy story that cannot be repeated on a forum?
I think a surprising number of PHers work at the same/similar companies or know the same people. But I agree, it is odd.on here do know each other. Only speaking for myself, I personally know numerous PHer’s who are well known posters and so on.
Also as Vaud says, many on here know each other through their industries, whether that be finance, banking, property, engineering or whatever.
So I’m sure you’ll understand why people don’t start freely telling everyone about the time they had drunken sex with the 18 year old admin girl before going home and being sick all over their wife.
Secondly, PH is a commercially run ‘family friendly’ forum and graphic descriptions of a gruesome or sexual nature will simply be deleted by the mods, as happens in many threads.
PH is like watching TV in the 70’s. You can make jokes and tell stories about being on the toilet, farting, and so on, but go into graphic detail about sex acts or post photos and expect to have your post binned.
Not Xmas parties as such, but over the years, I've attended many a Sales Kick Off event... usually in a foreign major city.... this is supposedly to get Sales and Marketing all up to speed and give them a gee up for the oncoming year. This inevitably becomes akin to a week long stag do.... but with large amounts of 'work' to sit through during the day...and major piss ups every night, propping the hotel bar up til 4am whilst 'networking'...
1. Numerous illicit affairs (not me, i'm too squeaky clean).
2. Countless chunders, stop the bus puking episodes
3. VP of Tech doing a full striptease in front of Partners....and being escorted back to his room
4. Head of Sales doing full monty up and down the hotel corridor, resulting in the CEO being called by the hotel manager at 4am... this guy was put on the first plane home and fired.
5. Numerous endings in strip clubs
6. Inter-department football match on the hotel lawn at midnight.
7. Cricket in the bar with apples, oranges and any other fruit that happened to be laying about...
8. Guys missing their flights home due to drunkenness and forking out large sums of their own cash to get back from the US etc
9. All night gambling at casino's.
10. One guy who both shat and puked in his hotel bed.. he got up, walked out and just left it.. Head of Marketing being dragged to the room after the cleaners went mental... that was a £600 bill he was presented with for a new mattress etc
And so forth.... I really look forward to it every year!
1. Numerous illicit affairs (not me, i'm too squeaky clean).
2. Countless chunders, stop the bus puking episodes
3. VP of Tech doing a full striptease in front of Partners....and being escorted back to his room
4. Head of Sales doing full monty up and down the hotel corridor, resulting in the CEO being called by the hotel manager at 4am... this guy was put on the first plane home and fired.
5. Numerous endings in strip clubs
6. Inter-department football match on the hotel lawn at midnight.
7. Cricket in the bar with apples, oranges and any other fruit that happened to be laying about...
8. Guys missing their flights home due to drunkenness and forking out large sums of their own cash to get back from the US etc
9. All night gambling at casino's.
10. One guy who both shat and puked in his hotel bed.. he got up, walked out and just left it.. Head of Marketing being dragged to the room after the cleaners went mental... that was a £600 bill he was presented with for a new mattress etc
And so forth.... I really look forward to it every year!
Lord Marylebone said:
Gary29 said:
I'd say about only 20% of these stories have any shred of truth in them.
If you really think that, then you need to get out more.Shnozz said:
Lord Marylebone said:
Gary29 said:
I'd say about only 20% of these stories have any shred of truth in them.
If you really think that, then you need to get out more.I miss BTAP.
Du1point8 said:
Shnozz said:
Lord Marylebone said:
Gary29 said:
I'd say about only 20% of these stories have any shred of truth in them.
If you really think that, then you need to get out more.I miss BTAP.
BTaP was not the usual reflection of a PH meet mind. Last one I punched a certain t
t of a PHer and had to wait until 2pm to blow under the limit to drive home. Whereupon me and the female PH’er I was seeing at the time then decided it would be fun to race each other and do drive bys at XXX mph.
Amusing days.
t of a PHer and had to wait until 2pm to blow under the limit to drive home. Whereupon me and the female PH’er I was seeing at the time then decided it would be fun to race each other and do drive bys at XXX mph. Amusing days.
Shnozz said:
BTaP was not the usual reflection of a PH meet mind. Last one I punched a certain tt of a PHer and had to wait until 2pm to blow under the limit to drive home. Whereupon me and the female PH’er I was seeing at the time then decided it would be fun to race each other and do drive bys at XXX mph.
Amusing days.
I remember driving there after a meet up, I had my foot firmly buried in the carpet in my Boxster and a well known Cerb came by me like I was stood still t of a PHer and had to wait until 2pm to blow under the limit to drive home. Whereupon me and the female PH’er I was seeing at the time then decided it would be fun to race each other and do drive bys at XXX mph. Amusing days.
Many moons ago in a previous career I made a rather crass joke about a female colleagues teeth at our departmental Christmas do. Something along the lines of eating an apple through a letterbox. I think I thought most people found it funny but I was quite drunk so that may not necessarily be accurate.
What I didn’t know however was the individual in question had serious self image problems because of said teeth. So much so that when a news article and accompanying picture of her appeared in the local paper for some charity work she’d been part of, she sent her son to the local shop to buy all the papers.
Anyway, having dwelled on my ‘joke’ for a while, and having gone outside crying, she then marched in and gave me a fairly credible right hook which over the following days developed into a rather reasonable shiner. I’ve not really done Xmas do’s since. Sorry again Liz.
What I didn’t know however was the individual in question had serious self image problems because of said teeth. So much so that when a news article and accompanying picture of her appeared in the local paper for some charity work she’d been part of, she sent her son to the local shop to buy all the papers.
Anyway, having dwelled on my ‘joke’ for a while, and having gone outside crying, she then marched in and gave me a fairly credible right hook which over the following days developed into a rather reasonable shiner. I’ve not really done Xmas do’s since. Sorry again Liz.
AL5026 said:
Many moons ago in a previous career I made a rather crass joke about a female colleagues teeth at our departmental Christmas do. Something along the lines of eating an apple through a letterbox. I think I thought most people found it funny but I was quite drunk so that may not necessarily be accurate.
What I didn’t know however was the individual in question had serious self image problems because of said teeth. So much so that when a news article and accompanying picture of her appeared in the local paper for some charity work she’d been part of, she sent her son to the local shop to buy all the papers.
Anyway, having dwelled on my ‘joke’ for a while, and having gone outside crying, she then marched in and gave me a fairly credible right hook which over the following days developed into a rather reasonable shiner. I’ve not really done Xmas do’s since. Sorry again Liz.
Ooof, you probably deserved that to be fair, I try to think, before I say something, would I say this to their face and how would they feel if they heard me, I just try to either not say something or be complimentary, especially with ladies, and never anything appearance or sexually related, have seen people saying stuff not realising the target was behind them and thats not a position I every want to be on either end of.What I didn’t know however was the individual in question had serious self image problems because of said teeth. So much so that when a news article and accompanying picture of her appeared in the local paper for some charity work she’d been part of, she sent her son to the local shop to buy all the papers.
Anyway, having dwelled on my ‘joke’ for a while, and having gone outside crying, she then marched in and gave me a fairly credible right hook which over the following days developed into a rather reasonable shiner. I’ve not really done Xmas do’s since. Sorry again Liz.
Jasandjules said:
Ilovejapcrap said:
re people getting fired at crimbo parties.
Is it right when the company basically fills them with ale ??
Would you like my answer as a lawyer Is it right when the company basically fills them with ale ??
Cheeky Jim said:
8. Guys missing their flights home due to drunkenness and forking out large sums of their own cash to get back from the US etc
9. All night gambling at casino's.
I nearly got hit by 8 after number 9. I was coming back from Managua via San Salvador, San Jose, Madrid and landing in LHR (don't ask, but was the last flight I allowed to be booked without checking itinerary)9. All night gambling at casino's.
The Best Western in Managua opposite the airport is a bit dull, so I ended up in the casino at a neighboring hotel till about 4am. Went back to the hotel to pick up my bag and pack my toiletries away, and passed out. Luckily a staff member of the hotel noted I'd not answered a 4.30am wake up call, so let themselves into my room and shook me awake. Made the flight by the skin of my teeth and then threw up fairly violently in a toilet at San Salvador airport! I'd say never again, but I came round by the time I got to San Jose and had a lovely lunch and embarked on a bit of a boozy trip back home!
Our works do is on Friday, although I'll be in England on the lash with mates I go to Le Mans with every year instead.
I've not been to my company's (completely free!) Christmas bash for a few years as it was all a bit stuffy, IMO.
I think the last co. bash I went to, my Chairman was annoyed I was walking around with a massive red wine splash across my white shirt - caused by one of the waitresses who clumsily knocked the glass over me when she was serving my (crappy!) dinner.
From past Xmas parties in the UK, for probably 3 years after each party, I snuck off at the end of the night with a very busty colleague of mine, usually only getting back to my place around midday the next day. I married the busty colleague!
I've not been to my company's (completely free!) Christmas bash for a few years as it was all a bit stuffy, IMO.
I think the last co. bash I went to, my Chairman was annoyed I was walking around with a massive red wine splash across my white shirt - caused by one of the waitresses who clumsily knocked the glass over me when she was serving my (crappy!) dinner.
From past Xmas parties in the UK, for probably 3 years after each party, I snuck off at the end of the night with a very busty colleague of mine, usually only getting back to my place around midday the next day. I married the busty colleague!
RC1807 said:
Our works do is on Friday, although I'll be in England on the lash with mates I go to Le Mans with every year instead.
I've not been to my company's (completely free!) Christmas bash for a few years as it was all a bit stuffy, IMO.
I think the last co. bash I went to, my Chairman was annoyed I was walking around with a massive red wine splash across my white shirt - caused by one of the waitresses who clumsily knocked the glass over me when she was serving my (crappy!) dinner.
From past Xmas parties in the UK, for probably 3 years after each party, I snuck off at the end of the night with a very busty colleague of mine, usually only getting back to my place around midday the next day. I married the busty colleague!
You are meI've not been to my company's (completely free!) Christmas bash for a few years as it was all a bit stuffy, IMO.
I think the last co. bash I went to, my Chairman was annoyed I was walking around with a massive red wine splash across my white shirt - caused by one of the waitresses who clumsily knocked the glass over me when she was serving my (crappy!) dinner.
From past Xmas parties in the UK, for probably 3 years after each party, I snuck off at the end of the night with a very busty colleague of mine, usually only getting back to my place around midday the next day. I married the busty colleague!
AICMFP
8. Guys missing their flights home due to drunkenness and forking out large sums of their own cash to get back from the US etc
9. All night gambling at casino's.
Missed a flight from LAX to Denver because of 9.
Then had to drive the 1300 miles with a hangover....
Haven’t made that mistake again. I now plan ahead and avoid Christmas party’s etc. On a ‘school night’.
9. All night gambling at casino's.
Missed a flight from LAX to Denver because of 9.
Then had to drive the 1300 miles with a hangover....
Haven’t made that mistake again. I now plan ahead and avoid Christmas party’s etc. On a ‘school night’.
We had ours last night. Extremely tame really, although I did get completely wrecked. Ended up walking around Fulham at about 4am trying to locate a McDonald's with some colleagues. We only succeeded in finding a corner shop though so I ate a rather dodgy samosa and nearly an entire tube of pringles instead.
T1CHS said:
8. Guys missing their flights home due to drunkenness and forking out large sums of their own cash to get back from the US etc
9. All night gambling at casino's.
Missed a flight from LAX to Denver because of 9.
Then had to drive the 1300 miles with a hangover....
Haven’t made that mistake again. I now plan ahead and avoid Christmas party’s etc. On a ‘school night’.
Ho yus. Some years ago had a Christmas night out near to my place of work, but was due on customer site next day at 8 am to do an upgrade. Party was fairly uneventful apart from prospect of manager's wife lamping the woman he was having an affair with. Got to bed at oh no o'clock and got a few hours sleep before dragging myself out of bed, no breakfast, and driving 30-odd minutes to customer site. Realised I'd forgotten tools, drove back to office and then back to customer, noting on the way the police car parked up a side street and keeping a watch for idiots. Luckily this idiot escaped and I've never been so stupid again.9. All night gambling at casino's.
Missed a flight from LAX to Denver because of 9.
Then had to drive the 1300 miles with a hangover....
Haven’t made that mistake again. I now plan ahead and avoid Christmas party’s etc. On a ‘school night’.
Fairly tame this year, only highlights being:
Marketing manager offering HR director a fat line of posh in the bathroom.
A young lady from accounts acquired the nickname Vicky Vomit, after noshing one of the coders and chucking up a distinctly bland 3 course dinner, mid-nosh.
Finally one of the generously paid external BAs was boasting how much he earnt whilst taking a dump.
First will be referred for wellbeing services, the second will have to live with the shame, and the BA has an early start to the holidays.
Regarding the Bud bottle tale, at a Northern based company a number of years back I saw a lady bet a number of men £20 each that she could pee into a bud bottle without spilling a drop or touching the bottle.
She did, the dirty minx.
Marketing manager offering HR director a fat line of posh in the bathroom.
A young lady from accounts acquired the nickname Vicky Vomit, after noshing one of the coders and chucking up a distinctly bland 3 course dinner, mid-nosh.
Finally one of the generously paid external BAs was boasting how much he earnt whilst taking a dump.
First will be referred for wellbeing services, the second will have to live with the shame, and the BA has an early start to the holidays.
Regarding the Bud bottle tale, at a Northern based company a number of years back I saw a lady bet a number of men £20 each that she could pee into a bud bottle without spilling a drop or touching the bottle.
She did, the dirty minx.
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