Single forever
Discussion
Not the cheeriest of thread titles, but who here has accepted the fact that they'll probably be single forever and by extension never have kids?
I'm not talking about success with women (whatever your definition may be), I'm talking about the likelihood of meeting someone who you like enough to keep around for more than a few weeks, and who simultaneously feels the same way about you. The chances are incredibly slim, I'm amazed it happens so often for other people.
I don't want this thread to go off on a tangent about leagues, standards and settling because that's missing my point completely, what I am trying to get from this is how best to plan and live a life knowing you’ll probably never have another committed relationship or any dependants.
In my case, I’m almost 31 and I’ve been conscious for the past couple of years that I’ll probably never find someone to spend the rest of my life with, or have children with, regretfully.
To compensate for this, I’ve become far more of a socialite, more of an extrovert, more of a risk taker, always pushing my boundaries, always looking for the next opportunity and adventure.
I’ve learnt the importance of forging meaningful long-lasting friendships and I’m now closer to my extended family more than ever. What I don’t know though is how to maintain this as the years roll by, family will pass away and even the best of friends come and go. I guess it’s at this point that I start investing in cats.
I'm not talking about success with women (whatever your definition may be), I'm talking about the likelihood of meeting someone who you like enough to keep around for more than a few weeks, and who simultaneously feels the same way about you. The chances are incredibly slim, I'm amazed it happens so often for other people.
I don't want this thread to go off on a tangent about leagues, standards and settling because that's missing my point completely, what I am trying to get from this is how best to plan and live a life knowing you’ll probably never have another committed relationship or any dependants.
In my case, I’m almost 31 and I’ve been conscious for the past couple of years that I’ll probably never find someone to spend the rest of my life with, or have children with, regretfully.
To compensate for this, I’ve become far more of a socialite, more of an extrovert, more of a risk taker, always pushing my boundaries, always looking for the next opportunity and adventure.
I’ve learnt the importance of forging meaningful long-lasting friendships and I’m now closer to my extended family more than ever. What I don’t know though is how to maintain this as the years roll by, family will pass away and even the best of friends come and go. I guess it’s at this point that I start investing in cats.
Edited by SkinnyPete on Thursday 11th April 19:07
If it happens it happens, you'll probably meet someone by chance and *****
Don't bother with cats, they're the wrong type of pussy.
On the other hand (don't take that the wrong way) I had friend who lived with his mother until she died in her 90's he died aged about 66.
Was into his cars, but not huge amounts of money. Had a few close friends, seemed happy enough.
Don't bother with cats, they're the wrong type of pussy.
On the other hand (don't take that the wrong way) I had friend who lived with his mother until she died in her 90's he died aged about 66.
Was into his cars, but not huge amounts of money. Had a few close friends, seemed happy enough.
I think that you are probably right Skinny. All you can do is work hard, be a nice person, embrace opportunities, live in the moment and look for the fun in everything you do. What will be will be.
None of the above is incomparable with traditional or internet dating however and you never know what is around the next corner.....
None of the above is incomparable with traditional or internet dating however and you never know what is around the next corner.....
I'm a happy singleton, have a few friends and associates that I see socially. I prefer being on my own and am not on the dating scene. I had a few long term relationships when I was younger but I'm not really the domestic goddess/caring nurse that is otherwise known as 'the marrying kind' 
My thoughts were always, you can hire an ironing service company or a cleaner or a gardener.
My thoughts were always, you can hire an ironing service company or a cleaner or a gardener. I was 39 when I met my Mrs. Had accepted was likely to not have kids.
Previous relationships had been sincere, but nothing that felt it was going to be forever.
Now married with a daughter. Very happily, but I have just been quizzed quite extensively on why I opened the fresh pasta differently to how my wife would have done it. The empty packet was destined for the bin. I also used the wrong saucepan apparently. I wouldn't change it, but there is a simplicity to single life I miss.
Sounds like you have the right approach to friendship and family. You will meet the right person when you least expect it.
Previous relationships had been sincere, but nothing that felt it was going to be forever.
Now married with a daughter. Very happily, but I have just been quizzed quite extensively on why I opened the fresh pasta differently to how my wife would have done it. The empty packet was destined for the bin. I also used the wrong saucepan apparently. I wouldn't change it, but there is a simplicity to single life I miss.
Sounds like you have the right approach to friendship and family. You will meet the right person when you least expect it.
tty stick.As others have said, 31 is young, you have plenty of opportunities to come.
I only decided to get involved at 34. I enjoyed being single too much and didn't see myself as the long-term relationship type at all.
Then at 34, I went on what I assumed to be just another date for a short term fling or one-nighter as was my preference and fell in love! Married one year later, still happily married 16 years later.
I only decided to get involved at 34. I enjoyed being single too much and didn't see myself as the long-term relationship type at all.
Then at 34, I went on what I assumed to be just another date for a short term fling or one-nighter as was my preference and fell in love! Married one year later, still happily married 16 years later.
That's me, but it's a conscious choice on my part.
The older I get my desire to be anchored to anything grows weaker and weaker. In my experience relationships have mainly been for the sake of convenience or torture chambers for someone to inflict their childhood on me.
Of course if ideal personage arrived that would be wonderful but I'm not sure I'd be capable of recognising them or interested enough any more. As for children, I'm north of 40 and anything after that is too old in my opinion.
Am I ever sad about this? I can't recall any occasions so far.
The older I get my desire to be anchored to anything grows weaker and weaker. In my experience relationships have mainly been for the sake of convenience or torture chambers for someone to inflict their childhood on me.
Of course if ideal personage arrived that would be wonderful but I'm not sure I'd be capable of recognising them or interested enough any more. As for children, I'm north of 40 and anything after that is too old in my opinion.
Am I ever sad about this? I can't recall any occasions so far.
Don't worry about it, you may meet someone tomorrow.
I've been happily married 38 years and have three great lads, but I would have been happy being single, it's all down to fate (imo).
There's thousands of married men (and women) wishing they were single right now, but are stuck in a loveless marriage.
I've been happily married 38 years and have three great lads, but I would have been happy being single, it's all down to fate (imo).
There's thousands of married men (and women) wishing they were single right now, but are stuck in a loveless marriage.
I’m also terminally single. I accepted a long time ago I’ll be single for life. I’m 38 now and have been single for 10 years, been on 3 dates in that time.
Im brilliant at talking to women, making them laugh & have plenty of girl mates but I seem to get friend zoned easily & I'm also very picky and not being the best looking bloke in the world means no time soon I’ll be meeting anyone
Im brilliant at talking to women, making them laugh & have plenty of girl mates but I seem to get friend zoned easily & I'm also very picky and not being the best looking bloke in the world means no time soon I’ll be meeting anyone
31?
I think I was 45 when I finally settled.
I love having no kids, it's great. The only thing we are faced with is our family will now die out as my Bro' won't be having any either which is a shame. We were talking about it the other day and If I go before she does then she'll leave whats left (if anything) to her brothers kids. It's quite good knowing you can spend everything you've got and not have to worry about what's left over. The only eternal problem is knowing when we'll kick the bucket, no-one knows the answer to that.
I think I was 45 when I finally settled.
I love having no kids, it's great. The only thing we are faced with is our family will now die out as my Bro' won't be having any either which is a shame. We were talking about it the other day and If I go before she does then she'll leave whats left (if anything) to her brothers kids. It's quite good knowing you can spend everything you've got and not have to worry about what's left over. The only eternal problem is knowing when we'll kick the bucket, no-one knows the answer to that.
shirt said:
31 lol. you;re only just getting into your stride, a fully formed person and your peak years are in front of you. enjoy it.
I was thinking it did sound like it sucked a bit until he said his age.
Guess it depends on how desperate you are - if you're really desperate, you'll lower your standards enough.
It IS about standards - there is probably a lass out there that you already know who you wouldn't poke with your mate's but she probably wants your babies.
Dude take it on the chin and get back up, she wasn’t worth it anyway.
But seriously 31?
https://metro.co.uk/2018/01/16/apparently-dudes-ai...
Prime time..
But seriously 31?
https://metro.co.uk/2018/01/16/apparently-dudes-ai...
Prime time..
SkinnyPete said:
To compensate for this, I’ve become far more of a socialite, more of an extrovert, more of a risk taker, always pushing my boundaries, always looking for the next opportunity and adventure.
I'm not discounting the rest of your OP, it's just this stuck out as the most important thing to respond to for me, and something that my hungover brain could deal with right now...Are you comfortable with both yourself and your life with regard to socialising more, taking more risks and generally being more extroverted?
If so a progression of personality can and does help with meeting new people, gaining knowledge and experience which in turns helps to foster a wider net of life skills that can be used in gaining and maintaining a romantic relationship amongst other things. Plus it's really the other way around - you doing these new things and indulging in a different way of living lead to your personal progress.
However if you feel overly anxious/uncomfortable/strained/stressed/overthinking/what am I doing/who is this then this side of you is a persona. Worst thing that could happen in relation to meeting a nice lady is that you meet one who is attracted to the person they think you are, before realising that you're not that type of man. You'll be artificially compatible until the inevitable failure.
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