Single forever
Discussion
shirt said:
31 lol. you're only just getting into your stride, a fully formed person and your peak years are in front of you. enjoy it.
SkinnyPete said:
I'm not talking about success with women (whatever your definition may be), I'm talking about the likelihood of meeting someone who you like enough to keep around for more than a few weeks, and who simultaneously feels the same way about you. The chances are incredibly slim, I'm amazed it happens so often for other people.
Why do you say this?SkinnyPete said:
I guess it’s at this point that I start investing in cats.
Get a dog. Women love dogs.Edited by g3org3y on Friday 12th April 07:07
SkinnyPete said:
Not the cheeriest of thread titles, but who here has accepted the fact that they'll probably be single forever and by extension never have kids?
I'm not talking about success with women (whatever your definition may be), I'm talking about the likelihood of meeting someone who you like enough to keep around for more than a few weeks, and who simultaneously feels the same way about you. The chances are incredibly slim, I'm amazed it happens so often for other people.
I don't want this thread to go off on a tangent about leagues, standards and settling because that's missing my point completely, what I am trying to get from this is how best to plan and live a life knowing you’ll probably never have another committed relationship or any dependants.
In my case, I’m almost 31 and I’ve been conscious for the past couple of years that I’ll probably never find someone to spend the rest of my life with, or have children with, regretfully.
To compensate for this, I’ve become far more of a socialite, more of an extrovert, more of a risk taker, always pushing my boundaries, always looking for the next opportunity and adventure.
I’ve learnt the importance of forging meaningful long-lasting friendships and I’m now closer to my extended family more than ever. What I don’t know though is how to maintain this as the years roll by, family will pass away and even the best of friends come and go. I guess it’s at this point that I start investing in cats.
You can come to that conclusion after being with someone for 12 years having a kid then finding the second one ain’t yours. I'm not talking about success with women (whatever your definition may be), I'm talking about the likelihood of meeting someone who you like enough to keep around for more than a few weeks, and who simultaneously feels the same way about you. The chances are incredibly slim, I'm amazed it happens so often for other people.
I don't want this thread to go off on a tangent about leagues, standards and settling because that's missing my point completely, what I am trying to get from this is how best to plan and live a life knowing you’ll probably never have another committed relationship or any dependants.
In my case, I’m almost 31 and I’ve been conscious for the past couple of years that I’ll probably never find someone to spend the rest of my life with, or have children with, regretfully.
To compensate for this, I’ve become far more of a socialite, more of an extrovert, more of a risk taker, always pushing my boundaries, always looking for the next opportunity and adventure.
I’ve learnt the importance of forging meaningful long-lasting friendships and I’m now closer to my extended family more than ever. What I don’t know though is how to maintain this as the years roll by, family will pass away and even the best of friends come and go. I guess it’s at this point that I start investing in cats.
Edited by SkinnyPete on Thursday 11th April 19:07
Change your outlook or location, move country do whatever but being single is a choice, not a bad one either
Im the same 38 this year no kids with new women 2 yrs and she don’t want any but not sure on our future, I do give I thought and wonder if it will happen for me.
Never bothered me untill recently when I started to loose the old hair. I must admit I do worry about being alone more now.
Never bothered me untill recently when I started to loose the old hair. I must admit I do worry about being alone more now.
Ilovejapcrap said:
Im the same 38 this year no kids with new women 2 yrs and she don’t want any but not sure on our future, I do give I thought and wonder if it will happen for me.
Never bothered me untill recently when I started to loose the old hair. I must admit I do worry about being alone more now.
Lose the CBr600 and buy a Vignale S Max she might get the hint. Never bothered me untill recently when I started to loose the old hair. I must admit I do worry about being alone more now.
Welshbeef said:
Ilovejapcrap said:
Im the same 38 this year no kids with new women 2 yrs and she don’t want any but not sure on our future, I do give I thought and wonder if it will happen for me.
Never bothered me untill recently when I started to loose the old hair. I must admit I do worry about being alone more now.
Lose the CBr600 and buy a Vignale S Max she might get the hint. Never bothered me untill recently when I started to loose the old hair. I must admit I do worry about being alone more now.
Cold said:
The fact that you've brought the subject up suggests to me that you aren't particularly happy about the prospect. So the question must be, what are you doing to change things?
It's one of those things you can't force IMO, just put yourself out there, get on with enjoying life and s
t happens. When I think of how many times I actively went in search of it and came back empty handed versus the other times when the opposite happened.I once went on one of those safety awareness courses (instead of points on your licence) and pulled the woman sat next to me. She was nuts, but it was an experience.
227bhp said:
It's one of those things you can't force IMO, just put yourself out there, get on with enjoying life and st happens. When I think of how many times I actively went in search of it and came back empty handed versus the other times when the opposite happened.
I once went on one of those safety awareness courses (instead of points on your licence) and pulled the woman sat next to me. She was nuts, but it was an experience.
Speed dating?t happens. When I think of how many times I actively went in search of it and came back empty handed versus the other times when the opposite happened.I once went on one of those safety awareness courses (instead of points on your licence) and pulled the woman sat next to me. She was nuts, but it was an experience.
micky g said:
227bhp said:
It's one of those things you can't force IMO, just put yourself out there, get on with enjoying life and st happens. When I think of how many times I actively went in search of it and came back empty handed versus the other times when the opposite happened.
I once went on one of those safety awareness courses (instead of points on your licence) and pulled the woman sat next to me. She was nuts, but it was an experience.
Speed dating?t happens. When I think of how many times I actively went in search of it and came back empty handed versus the other times when the opposite happened.I once went on one of those safety awareness courses (instead of points on your licence) and pulled the woman sat next to me. She was nuts, but it was an experience.
Been there. Didn't get into anything meaningful from about your age until I tried Tinder at 48. I met someone within a fortnight and we've been married nearly 3 years now. Just take life as it comes.
On the kids point, I will never have any, but I have a 14 year old stepson...sometimes he makes me thankful for that.
On the kids point, I will never have any, but I have a 14 year old stepson...sometimes he makes me thankful for that.
On my own for almost 40 years now, wasted too many years on beer & dope,
probably accompanied / caused by heavy depression. Lost all friends.
Got over that after long therapy when I was ready for it, but except being clean & sober now nothing changed.
The concept of having friends or even a girlfriend seems quite nice, but that train has left the station
and the station has been abandoned and demolished.
I guess other people are better off without me.
Got used to it, keep myself busy with tinkering and weekend fame on microphone.
btw : does inert gas get off after long storage ?
probably accompanied / caused by heavy depression. Lost all friends.
Got over that after long therapy when I was ready for it, but except being clean & sober now nothing changed.
The concept of having friends or even a girlfriend seems quite nice, but that train has left the station
and the station has been abandoned and demolished.
I guess other people are better off without me.
Got used to it, keep myself busy with tinkering and weekend fame on microphone.
btw : does inert gas get off after long storage ?
SkinnyPete said:
In my case, I’m almost 31 and I’ve been conscious for the past couple of years that I’ll probably never find someone to spend the rest of my life with, or have children with, regretfully.
You are 31 which is nothing.You are concious of something, which you are speaking of negatively, so you are worrying about it.
Quit thinking about it, quit worrying, imerse yourself in all those other thing. Then it will happen completely out of the blue.
And stop going on dates thinking/wondering if this girl is marriage & mother of your kids material, which you do don't you? It puts them off.
GT03ROB said:
SkinnyPete said:
In my case, I’m almost 31 and I’ve been conscious for the past couple of years that I’ll probably never find someone to spend the rest of my life with, or have children with, regretfully.
You are 31 which is nothing.You are concious of something, which you are speaking of negatively, so you are worrying about it.
Quit thinking about it, quit worrying, imerse yourself in all those other thing. Then it will happen completely out of the blue.
And stop going on dates thinking/wondering if this girl is marriage & mother of your kids material, which you do don't you? It puts them off.
Seriouy, 31 is nothing. I didn't meet my future wife until I was 35. I went through a point at your age thinking the same thing, but got beyond that mindset, and just went and did stuff and stopped stressing about it. It was a great time of life and eventually met my wife by virtue of my own lifestyle that I created. One thing I did always say to myself is that I'm not having kids with someone unless I have zero misgivings, I would have preferred to be on my own than have a nightmare scenario, divorce, no access to kids etc. Take your time, stop stressing.
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