Single forever
Discussion
George Smiley said:
We lost a couple of kids, looked behind the sofa but nothing found. Second one nearly killed her, got her to a and e with about an hour to spare. She spent a few weeks in and had half her stuff removed
All focus on her, man just goes to work gets on with it (bad move). Drifted appear, I didn’t / couldn’t have sex due to irrational thoughts if she gets pregnant how it could all end (I couldn’t go through it again)
We drifted apart, appears natural. I developed hair trigger anger to silly things. Then had a break down. Didn’t realise what we had. We were getting back strong but seems too late. I was working away, home each weekend, she shagged a guy with a super dick and the “condom failed” and amazingly just three weeks after I had dropped a stockpile in her, she was pregnant. She insisted there had been a period in between
She moved out, the other half of the story is in the missing dad thread.
Kids do complicate separation but hurt is hurt regardless of kids involved. The two main benefits of kids are:
• you cannot put into words
• being able to patronise non parents by saying you cannot understand (seriously this is true, I’d dated a woman with kids and thought I got it, you don’t)
Wow. The story is obviously condensed by still very powerful. All focus on her, man just goes to work gets on with it (bad move). Drifted appear, I didn’t / couldn’t have sex due to irrational thoughts if she gets pregnant how it could all end (I couldn’t go through it again)
We drifted apart, appears natural. I developed hair trigger anger to silly things. Then had a break down. Didn’t realise what we had. We were getting back strong but seems too late. I was working away, home each weekend, she shagged a guy with a super dick and the “condom failed” and amazingly just three weeks after I had dropped a stockpile in her, she was pregnant. She insisted there had been a period in between
She moved out, the other half of the story is in the missing dad thread.
Kids do complicate separation but hurt is hurt regardless of kids involved. The two main benefits of kids are:
• you cannot put into words
• being able to patronise non parents by saying you cannot understand (seriously this is true, I’d dated a woman with kids and thought I got it, you don’t)
Just one bit i don't get is when you say "she insisted there had been a period in between". Were you aware of the other guy and if not did you confront her and get her to confess ?
Sorry to hear about the breakdown. We are all on the edge at times but given what you sent through that's utterly understandable.
I wasn’t aware, allegedly the first time they shagged was 3 weeks after my payload and his non existent condom failed and his super sperm hit target first time
I’d come home and met her at the Albert hall for the beach boys last concert (was working in Belgium)
There she was with her freshly died “a bit council thread candidate” blue hair. Went to kiss her, she dodged it. Then when everyone was up dancing she wouldn’t join in, said hardly a word. I knew something was up
No chat on drive home. I end up sleeping downstairs (again) I knew something was up. Each weekend I was home she would trigger a “f
k it I’ll sleep downstairs “ response
I knew something was up, next day I broke the cardinal rule and whilst she was at work I hacked into her Facebook messages
There it was, she was pregnant and scared to tell me. My heart skipped with joy, then I saw the rest it wasn’t mine and they were planning an abortion. Almost 2 years ago.
Abortion was booked for the Tuesday. She had demonised me to him (natural)
When she got in I made her a brew, asked how her day was and if we were going to be ok. She said yes
I then asked if there’s anything she wants to talk about. No she said, everything’s ok
I then said that it doesn’t matter how I know but I’m going to stop her making a huge mistake and that she shouldn’t have the abortion.
She broke down. Said the abortion was to stop me from being so upset she was pregnant to another man (ha!)
He’s 12 years younger than her, never had a relationship still lived st home. I confronted him asking did he know she had a family. He said yes and he wanted it,.
Ah well, it’s the past. They get married in September (think my birthday week) so it’s working out
This demon had paid for everything for 12 years even bought her a car as for some reason despite me clearing her debts twice she had no money. The car was more to ensure my daughters safety than getting a 300 quid get to work car
I’d come home and met her at the Albert hall for the beach boys last concert (was working in Belgium)
There she was with her freshly died “a bit council thread candidate” blue hair. Went to kiss her, she dodged it. Then when everyone was up dancing she wouldn’t join in, said hardly a word. I knew something was up
No chat on drive home. I end up sleeping downstairs (again) I knew something was up. Each weekend I was home she would trigger a “f
k it I’ll sleep downstairs “ response I knew something was up, next day I broke the cardinal rule and whilst she was at work I hacked into her Facebook messages
There it was, she was pregnant and scared to tell me. My heart skipped with joy, then I saw the rest it wasn’t mine and they were planning an abortion. Almost 2 years ago.
Abortion was booked for the Tuesday. She had demonised me to him (natural)
When she got in I made her a brew, asked how her day was and if we were going to be ok. She said yes
I then asked if there’s anything she wants to talk about. No she said, everything’s ok
I then said that it doesn’t matter how I know but I’m going to stop her making a huge mistake and that she shouldn’t have the abortion.
She broke down. Said the abortion was to stop me from being so upset she was pregnant to another man (ha!)
He’s 12 years younger than her, never had a relationship still lived st home. I confronted him asking did he know she had a family. He said yes and he wanted it,
. Ah well, it’s the past. They get married in September (think my birthday week) so it’s working out
This demon had paid for everything for 12 years even bought her a car as for some reason despite me clearing her debts twice she had no money. The car was more to ensure my daughters safety than getting a 300 quid get to work car
Edited by George Smiley on Wednesday 17th April 15:31
Edited by George Smiley on Wednesday 17th April 15:35
tinytim123 said:
The classic extrovert/introvert definitions are about how you get your energy and reward mechanisms work. Extroverts get a hit of dopamine when they are in social situations and therefore characteristics tend to lead to being outgoing etc.
Introverts tend to look inwards and enjoy time on their own because they can recharge.
Both introverts and extroverts can exhibit both behaviours. I know a lot of introverts that are very sociable but after a period of time they have had enough and want to be on their own for a bit. It’s frustrating because the extroverts think they need to ‘come out their shell’ or whatever.
Exactly so. Introverts tend to look inwards and enjoy time on their own because they can recharge.
Both introverts and extroverts can exhibit both behaviours. I know a lot of introverts that are very sociable but after a period of time they have had enough and want to be on their own for a bit. It’s frustrating because the extroverts think they need to ‘come out their shell’ or whatever.
Extroverts find social situations energising, whereas introverts find them draining. Maybe extroverts are emotional vampires.
Anyway, just because someone is introverted it doesn't make them unsociable. They just need time to themselves to recharge, that's all.
Clockwork Cupcake said:
I divorced 10 years ago, and have absolutely no interest in dating. I'm happily single and happy to remain so for the rest of my life.
Don't need it; I'm very happy and fulfilled being on my own.
JJ don’t write yourself off after all you’ve done and achieved but likewise I’m happy in the thought of something or nothing. Even thought of moving a mate in like the odd couple Don't need it; I'm very happy and fulfilled being on my own.
George Smiley said:
JJ don’t write yourself off after all you’ve done and achieved but likewise I’m happy in the thought of something or nothing. Even thought of moving a mate in like the odd couple
Christ no. I enjoy living on my own way too much to share with anyone. Not even a lodger. People are different. I've always been happiest on my own - some people are just like that.
Absolutely not writing myself off at all - just pointing out that not everyone needs someone, despite what the Blues Brothers would have you believe.
George Smiley said:
I wasn’t aware
I’d come home and met her at the Albert hall for the beach boys last concert (was working in Belgium)
There she was with her freshly died “a bit council thread candidate” blue hair. Went to kiss her, she dodged it. Then when everyone was up dancing she wouldn’t join in, said hardly a word. I knew something was up
No chat on drive home. I end up sleeping downstairs (again) I knew something was up. Each weekend I was home she would trigger a “fk it I’ll sleep downstairs “ response
I knew something was up, next day I broke the cardinal rule and whilst she was at work I hacked into her Facebook messages
There it was, she was pregnant and scared to tell me. My heart skipped with joy, then I saw the rest it wasn’t mine and they were planning an abortion. Almost 2 years ago.
Abortion was booked for the Tuesday. She had demonised me to him (natural)
When she got in I made her a brew, asked how her day was and if we were going to be ok. She said yes
I then asked if there’s anything she wants to talk about. No she said, everything’s ok
I then said that it doesn’t matter how I know but I’m going to stop her making a huge mistake and that she shouldn’t have the abortion.
She broke down. Said the abortion was to stop me from being so upset she was pregnant to another man (ha!)
He’s 12 years younger than her, never had a relationship still lived st home. I confronted him asking did he know she had a family. He said yes and he wanted it,.
Ah well, it’s the past. They get married in September (think my birthday week) so it’s working out
This demon had paid for everything for 12 years even bought her a car as for some reason despite me clearing her debts twice she had no money. The car was more to ensure my daughters safety than getting a 300 quid get to work car
Fair play to you. Think you handled it well too I’d come home and met her at the Albert hall for the beach boys last concert (was working in Belgium)
There she was with her freshly died “a bit council thread candidate” blue hair. Went to kiss her, she dodged it. Then when everyone was up dancing she wouldn’t join in, said hardly a word. I knew something was up
No chat on drive home. I end up sleeping downstairs (again) I knew something was up. Each weekend I was home she would trigger a “f
k it I’ll sleep downstairs “ response I knew something was up, next day I broke the cardinal rule and whilst she was at work I hacked into her Facebook messages
There it was, she was pregnant and scared to tell me. My heart skipped with joy, then I saw the rest it wasn’t mine and they were planning an abortion. Almost 2 years ago.
Abortion was booked for the Tuesday. She had demonised me to him (natural)
When she got in I made her a brew, asked how her day was and if we were going to be ok. She said yes
I then asked if there’s anything she wants to talk about. No she said, everything’s ok
I then said that it doesn’t matter how I know but I’m going to stop her making a huge mistake and that she shouldn’t have the abortion.
She broke down. Said the abortion was to stop me from being so upset she was pregnant to another man (ha!)
He’s 12 years younger than her, never had a relationship still lived st home. I confronted him asking did he know she had a family. He said yes and he wanted it,
. Ah well, it’s the past. They get married in September (think my birthday week) so it’s working out
This demon had paid for everything for 12 years even bought her a car as for some reason despite me clearing her debts twice she had no money. The car was more to ensure my daughters safety than getting a 300 quid get to work car
Edited by George Smiley on Wednesday 17th April 15:31
Married in what was at times a very challenging relationship for 22 years. Probably should have moved on sooner but kids involved of course. Spent 3 years on my own wondering whether I would ever meet someone again but then I met my absolute soul mate at age of 52.
Wasn’t looking for it, wasn’t expecting it but my life is complete in terms of being with someone. I’d given up and was resigned to being single in my old age but it perhaps comes along when you least expect it.
Wasn’t looking for it, wasn’t expecting it but my life is complete in terms of being with someone. I’d given up and was resigned to being single in my old age but it perhaps comes along when you least expect it.
S1KRR said:
I'm already trying to work out a gentle way of knocking it all on the head. 
Why not tell her it's not your thing? I wouldn't bin someone on the basis of one non evil aspect of their behaviour without raising it with them mildly. Maybe she thinks that's what you want. In the early stages everyone's trying to figure out what works for the other and what doesn't. You may as well come out with it.
I'm leaving it longer and longer before replying I already have a couple excuses I'm using to explain the time gap. (Which is ludicrous given it's only been a couple of weeks!)
Not that it matters since she'll just message me near instantly whenever I reply.
I just preferred being single!
I already have a couple excuses I'm using to explain the time gap. (Which is ludicrous given it's only been a couple of weeks!)Not that it matters since she'll just message me near instantly whenever I reply.
I just preferred being single!
S1KRR said:
I'm leaving it longer and longer before replying I already have a couple excuses I'm using to explain the time gap. (Which is ludicrous given it's only been a couple of weeks!)
Not that it matters since she'll just message me near instantly whenever I reply.
I just preferred being single!
She’s a narcissist trust me I already have a couple excuses I'm using to explain the time gap. (Which is ludicrous given it's only been a couple of weeks!)Not that it matters since she'll just message me near instantly whenever I reply.
I just preferred being single!
Boff her in the frank boff and run
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