Sad day at work yesterday
Discussion
I had an employee die at work 18 months ago. Main artery burst, nothing anyone could do.
A couple of members of staff spent 40 minutes keeping him going till the air ambulance etc arrived. Worse still, his brother also works for me!!
Offered said staff any help they needed...... Worked with him for years and they literally watched him die.
Every year, we do and will continue to close work out of respect and go to the pub to raise a glass to him.
RIP Mick
A couple of members of staff spent 40 minutes keeping him going till the air ambulance etc arrived. Worse still, his brother also works for me!!
Offered said staff any help they needed...... Worked with him for years and they literally watched him die.
Every year, we do and will continue to close work out of respect and go to the pub to raise a glass to him.
RIP Mick
I worked with. Bloke who had a tumour of sorts growing in the roof of his mouth.
Overtime a tooth fell out onto his desk, and then he had a fit in the office as it pressed near his brain,
He was operated on but of course it never went away,
Another woman has a bandana on currently, and she’s the second one
Take some time out and get in the fresh air, try and find a hobby
Overtime a tooth fell out onto his desk, and then he had a fit in the office as it pressed near his brain,
He was operated on but of course it never went away,
Another woman has a bandana on currently, and she’s the second one
Take some time out and get in the fresh air, try and find a hobby
Happened to me recently. Young out going popular guy I worked with didn't come into work one Monday. Appeared to be suicide related to mental health.
Sad, but also worrying for me as my son has suffered depression for years. What should be his best years are just a joyless existance of pain and anxiety
Sad, but also worrying for me as my son has suffered depression for years. What should be his best years are just a joyless existance of pain and anxiety
For anybody interested in Male suicide, here’s something that might interest you:
https://www.amhf.org.au/research_confirms_5_uncomf...
5 key points:
1. Most male suicides are not linked to mental health issues
2. Relationship problems are the key issue
3. Most men who suicide die on the first known attempt
4. Most male suicides had no history of suicidality
5. It’s a myth that men aren’t getting help
NB US research
https://www.amhf.org.au/research_confirms_5_uncomf...
5 key points:
1. Most male suicides are not linked to mental health issues
2. Relationship problems are the key issue
3. Most men who suicide die on the first known attempt
4. Most male suicides had no history of suicidality
5. It’s a myth that men aren’t getting help
NB US research
steveatesh said:
It’s a myth that men aren’t getting help
I have no idea about the US, but in the UK you are pretty much on your own with mental health. If you need help you can be looking at about a year of waiting on a list, then be offered a short stint of group therapy, then nothing else. Group therapy his pretty much useless for someone with social anxiety.Imagine seeing your doctor for a specific condition that will probably be with you years, and they offer you some aspirin (which you're unable to take).
We are now looking at private options for my son, but we we're not doctors we just have to hope what we choose is right and that £75 an hour isn't being pissed away.
Edited by 98elise on Friday 19th April 00:20
cobra kid said:
"mental first aider"
A new one to me.
Big companies are getting into this. My daughter is a mental first aider. Helps other youngsters with anxiety. Companies with young staff suffer more issues with mental problems than with people having heart attacks, so makes sense. A new one to me.
Kids see days don’t seem to be able to deal with things like us old timers used to.
steveatesh said:
For anybody interested in Male suicide, here’s something that might interest you:
https://www.amhf.org.au/research_confirms_5_uncomf...
5 key points:
1. Most male suicides are not linked to mental health issues
2. Relationship problems are the key issue
3. Most men who suicide die on the first known attempt
4. Most male suicides had no history of suicidality
5. It’s a myth that men aren’t getting help
NB US research
The details are less clear and bring up more questions.https://www.amhf.org.au/research_confirms_5_uncomf...
5 key points:
1. Most male suicides are not linked to mental health issues
2. Relationship problems are the key issue
3. Most men who suicide die on the first known attempt
4. Most male suicides had no history of suicidality
5. It’s a myth that men aren’t getting help
NB US research
TTmonkey said:
cobra kid said:
"mental first aider"
A new one to me.
Big companies are getting into this. My daughter is a mental first aider. Helps other youngsters with anxiety. Companies with young staff suffer more issues with mental problems than with people having heart attacks, so makes sense. A new one to me.
Kids see days don’t seem to be able to deal with things like us old timers used to.
Hoofy said:
TTmonkey said:
cobra kid said:
"mental first aider"
A new one to me.
Big companies are getting into this. My daughter is a mental first aider. Helps other youngsters with anxiety. Companies with young staff suffer more issues with mental problems than with people having heart attacks, so makes sense. A new one to me.
Kids see days don’t seem to be able to deal with things like us old timers used to.
I think social media is having a very negative effect on peoples mental well being. Constantly comparing yourself to others beyond the old fashioned keeping up with the Joneses. Every aspect of your life and other people's being open to scrutiny 24/7. I realise it's only that way if you engage with it, but kids these days do.
Even I as a late 30s cynic of social media and tech in general find myself on my phone at times thinking why am I doing this and not concentrating on what's going on in the real world around me, it's a bit like fast food, it's more intense, feels more real somehow, it's there when you want it and you feel in control of the content. Scary when you analyse your reasons for doing it.
steveatesh said:
For anybody interested in Male suicide, here’s something that might interest you:
5. It’s a myth that men aren’t getting help
Speaking as someone who has very nearly committed suicide earlier this year, I can comfortably say that’s b5. It’s a myth that men aren’t getting help
ks. There is a lot of help available, no doubt, but when you’re in the grip of massive depression it’s incredibly hard to accept you need it and go after it. And when you finally do, it’s incredibly hard to actually get it if you’re past crisis point. Plenty of people will talk you down off the edge, not so many will follow through afterwards. My local NHS for example, has a 6 month waiting list for CBT counselling. A lot can happen in 6 months.
I’m lucky I’ve got some great colleagues and family who are trying their best to help, but most can never understand how you’re feeling. I’m one of those men in their early 40s who outwardly has everything, great wife and kids, nice cars, nice house in a good area and a very good job. There’s just some thing broken inside me that no one else can see.
BenjiS said:
steveatesh said:
For anybody interested in Male suicide, here’s something that might interest you:
5. It’s a myth that men aren’t getting help
Speaking as someone who has very nearly committed suicide earlier this year, I can comfortably say that’s b5. It’s a myth that men aren’t getting help
ks. There is a lot of help available, no doubt, but when you’re in the grip of massive depression it’s incredibly hard to accept you need it and go after it. And when you finally do, it’s incredibly hard to actually get it if you’re past crisis point. Plenty of people will talk you down off the edge, not so many will follow through afterwards. My local NHS for example, has a 6 month waiting list for CBT counselling. A lot can happen in 6 months.
I’m lucky I’ve got some great colleagues and family who are trying their best to help, but most can never understand how you’re feeling. I’m one of those men in their early 40s who outwardly has everything, great wife and kids, nice cars, nice house in a good area and a very good job. There’s just some thing broken inside me that no one else can see.
wildoliver said:
Hoofy said:
TTmonkey said:
cobra kid said:
"mental first aider"
A new one to me.
Big companies are getting into this. My daughter is a mental first aider. Helps other youngsters with anxiety. Companies with young staff suffer more issues with mental problems than with people having heart attacks, so makes sense. A new one to me.
Kids see days don’t seem to be able to deal with things like us old timers used to.
I think social media is having a very negative effect on peoples mental well being. Constantly comparing yourself to others beyond the old fashioned keeping up with the Joneses. Every aspect of your life and other people's being open to scrutiny 24/7. I realise it's only that way if you engage with it, but kids these days do.
Even I as a late 30s cynic of social media and tech in general find myself on my phone at times thinking why am I doing this and not concentrating on what's going on in the real world around me, it's a bit like fast food, it's more intense, feels more real somehow, it's there when you want it and you feel in control of the content. Scary when you analyse your reasons for doing it.
And for younger kids, again thanks to schools being competitive, we have SATs for 7 year olds. I took my first exam at 11 to determine which secondary school I was going to and nobody really took it seriously. I don't remember anyone being under pressure to do it.
Edited by Hoofy on Friday 19th April 11:49
The Moose said:
When you say that something inside you is broken, what exactly do you mean? What is broken? What is causing you to feel depressed enough to want to end it?
If I knew that I could solve the problem!It’s like a complete emptiness and intense sadness for no apparent reason. It’s a feeling of utter worthlessness and failure. That nothing you do or say is ever enough. Even though those things aren’t true. Its feeling anger at even the slightest thing, but redirecting that anger onto yourself and directing the blame onto yourself. Even when there is none.
But as to why these feelings are there? I don’t know, they been there for as long as I can remember, I just didn’t know the name for it.
And where suicide enters the picture is when those feelings get so intense you simply want to make everything go away. You want to run, but there’s nowhere you go to escape.
Edited by BenjiS on Friday 19th April 12:32
BenjiS said:
popeyewhite said:
BenjiS said:
If I knew that I could solve the problem!
Please get a GP referral for a counselling session (or refer yourself).As an aside a friend I know wanted counselling after a bereavement but didn't want to pay the fees of £35ph. He was quite happy to pay a physio £45ph to massage his calf muscle though!
Just to add to that, I don't know many people my age that don't suffer from depression, myself included. Whether it's just that it wasn't brought up that much in the years gone by, or if it's something new I don't know. In relation to the original subject, when I was 15 there was a car crash, 2 kids dead, 1 paralysed and one was fine physically. One that died was from my school in the year below, wasn't wearing his seatbelt and was decapitated on impact, the one that was paralysed was also in the year below from my school, never saw him again. Never spoke to either, and admittedly never liked them either, but I've never seen anything sadder than that first assembly after it happened where their friends had to leave in tears, teachers had to leave in tears and the day had to go on. Another that I went to school with died recently in a bike crash at 17, I saw the scene when it happened. I was driving to go get Snowfoam at the local auto shop where he crashed outside, the entire road was closed off which I thought was for some beer festival that was going on, went home annoyed and found out the next day why it was closed. Crashed into a Q7 coming the other way and died there and then. Didn't like him either, he was violent, rude and a real piece of work to everyone, but it still gets to me thinking that someone younger than me that I used to see everyday is now dead.
popeyewhite said:
Apologies, i must have missed that post. You can refer yourself of course, counsellors generally aren't particularly expensive.
As an aside a friend I know wanted counselling after a bereavement but didn't want to pay the fees of £35ph. He was quite happy to pay a physio £45ph to massage his calf muscle though!
Depression and talking about it aren't as easy as getting physio. Physio your brain tells you that you need help, with depression that same brain is your worst enemy. You know something is wrong, you know you should talk but at the same time you're trying to convince yourself that you're fine, you don't need help and talking won't do anything. As an aside a friend I know wanted counselling after a bereavement but didn't want to pay the fees of £35ph. He was quite happy to pay a physio £45ph to massage his calf muscle though!
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