Woman sets trap, man walks in - Tell us your version

[DickyC]

Mrs C - What's on your Bucket List?
Me - Along with owning an Aston and driving Route 66 I've just added a flight in that two seat Spitfire. You?
Mrs C - I'd like a hearing aid.

[57Ford]

Wife (while getting ready to go out): What are your plans for the day?
Me: Oh, nothing really. Just a nice relaxing Sunday.
Wife: I’m glad you’re not busy because there’s the lawn needs cutting, the raised beds need weeding, the gutter needs clearing near the garage, while you’re outside the patio is looking a bit grubby and the window frames could do with a wipe down. Once you come back inside....

[mad4amanda]

I am already realising after 2 posts how lucky I am!

[P5BNij]

Her indoors : which days aren't you working next week...?

No need to go on is there!

[57Ford]

mad4amanda said:

I am already realising after 2 posts how lucky I am!

Yeah, I let her believe she’s the boss but I’ve got my own back really - I’m doing it all in a totally different order!

[Lemming Train]

57Ford said:

mad4amanda said:

I am already realising after 2 posts how lucky I am!

Yeah, I let her believe she’s the boss but I’ve got my own back really - I’m doing it all in a totally different order!

That's probably not wise as your clean window frames will get mucky again from the splatter when you clean your patio, and your missus won't be pleased.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Xmas day - Her:Do you like the 2 ties I bought you?
Me:Yes, they're both great.
Boxing day- Me:I thought I'd wear the blue tie you bought me.
Her:I knew you didn't like the red one!

[Fermit and Sexy Sarah]

'Does my bum look big in this?'

Never answer.

[DickyC]

Mrs C - Say something nice about your first wife.
Me - Blimey, er, okay. Well, let's think. Yes. She was quite a good driver.

Silence.
Longer silence.
Even longer silence.

Me - What?
Mrs C - You said I'm not a good driver.

[anonymous-user]

Me: Want anything for christmas?
Mrs: No I don't need anything
Xmas Day Mrs: Where's my presents?
Me: You said...........
Xmas Day Mrs: You should know that I don't need anything is code for I want everything.

Followed by:

Me: We doing anything for Valentines?
Mrs: No, Lets not bother its all too commercial
Valentines day Mrs: Where my card flowers and bubbles?
Me: Actually I don't love you any more, this relationship is dead, I'm moving out
Ex Mrs: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Fermit and Sexy Sarah]

DickyC said:

Mrs C - Say something nice about your first wife.
Me - Blimey, er, okay. Well, let's think. Yes. She was quite a good driver.

Silence.
Longer silence.
Even longer silence.

Me - What?
Mrs C - You said I'm not a good driver.

Well, it's a better answer than 'her tits were bigger than yours'

[.:ian:.]

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:

'Does my bum look big in this?'

Never answer.

No, not just that.

[Legmaster]

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:

'Does my bum look big in this?'

Never answer.

Stock answer:

"What, the bedroom"

[LordHaveMurci]

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:

'Does my bum look big in this?'

Never answer.

To be fair love, it is a small bathroom.

[Sheepshanks]

DickyC said:

Mrs C - What's on your Bucket List?
Me - Along with owning an Aston and driving Route 66 I've just added a flight in that two seat Spitfire. You?
Mrs C - I'd like a hearing aid.

I'm probably going to regret this, but I don't get that?

[cuprabob]

Sheepshanks said:

DickyC said:

Mrs C - What's on your Bucket List?
Me - Along with owning an Aston and driving Route 66 I've just added a flight in that two seat Spitfire. You?
Mrs C - I'd like a hearing aid.

I'm probably going to regret this, but I don't get that?

I had assumed she was implying that she never heard anything.

[Fermit and Sexy Sarah]

Sheepshanks said:

DickyC said:

Mrs C - What's on your Bucket List?
Me - Along with owning an Aston and driving Route 66 I've just added a flight in that two seat Spitfire. You?
Mrs C - I'd like a hearing aid.

I'm probably going to regret this, but I don't get that?

I guess she's making out she can't hear his answer?

[Oilchange]

To be fair Love, it is a small Cathedral.

[anonymous-user]

Sheepshanks said:

I'm probably going to regret this, but I don't get that?

Same

[Sheepshanks]

cuprabob said:

Sheepshanks said:

DickyC said:

Mrs C - What's on your Bucket List?
Me - Along with owning an Aston and driving Route 66 I've just added a flight in that two seat Spitfire. You?
Mrs C - I'd like a hearing aid.

I'm probably going to regret this, but I don't get that?

I had assumed she was implying that she never heard anything.

I was thinking maybe she didn't hear anything that she wanted?

Or that she'd like a new hearing aid??