Woman sets trap, man walks in - Tell us your version

[anonymous-user]

Her: Shall we go to Luigi's for tea?

Me: Not tonight, don't really fancy it.

6 months later...

Me: Shall we go to Luigi's for tea?

Her: You said you hated it there!?

[davek_964]

Two over the weekend.

Watching Rules of Engagement
Her : Jeff (Patrick Warrbuton) is quite hot
Me : So's Audrey (Megyn Price) - so I'm happy for us to swap
Her : WHAT?
Me : You said he was hot
Her : I didn't say I'd swap!
Me : Er.....

Watching Ranganation, and the "women from a small village" or whatever she was called is standing up.
Her : She has massive boobs.
Me : Yep, she's definitely my favourite of the group
Her : You've scoped the whole group to see which one you fancy??????

[Dog Star]

davek_964 said:

Watching Ranganation, and the "women from a small village" or whatever she was called is standing up.
Her : She has massive boobs.
Me : Yep, she's definitely my favourite of the group
Her : You've scoped the whole group to see which one you fancy??????

I had to take a look to see what you were talking about....

[WinstonWolf]

Terminator X said:

2 outfits ready to go out for the night "which one do you like best" doesn't matter which is is chosen as the answer is always "what's wrong with the other one?" + it actually doesn't matter which one I choose as she will wear whatever one she likes best!

TX.

"They both look lovely, which one do you prefer"?

HTH

[james_tigerwoods]

WinstonWolf said:

Terminator X said:

2 outfits ready to go out for the night "which one do you like best" doesn't matter which is is chosen as the answer is always "what's wrong with the other one?" + it actually doesn't matter which one I choose as she will wear whatever one she likes best!

TX.

"They both look lovely, which one do you prefer"?

HTH

"Why can't you help me to choose?"

Long time ago - I was "helping" an ex shop and she chose a dress which she tried on:

Her: "What do you think"
Me: "It makes your hips look big"
Her: "....."
All the other women in the shop (there were many): " :O "

[anonymous-user]

As if it wasn't bad enough back in the day, being asked "Does my bum look big in this", these days, some women want their bum to look big.

Just be honest. Brutally honest.

[Shakermaker]

Grahamdub said:

Wife: She's pretty isn't she ?
Me: Errrrrrr

This is made even worse if the lady in question is a friend

I just tend to agree with my wife if she says this. Doesn't matter if she's a friend or not.. maybe I got lucky with my wife though.

[Shakermaker]

George Smiley said:

Her: name someone on your fantasy list, it’s ok as it’s a fantasy
Me: your sister

Reminds me of...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCEGXZmdwmU

[CanAm]

Dog Star said:

I had to take a look to see what you were talking about....

Is this available on catch up? (Just asking for a friend)

[Dermot O'Logical]

Has anybody else familiar with the scenario in which the woman won't make a decision on the basis that it's easier (for her) if the hapless male has to make the decision, so that she can then criticise it?

[matchmaker]

Dermot O'Logical said:

Has anybody else familiar with the scenario in which the woman won't make a decision on the basis that it's easier (for her) if the hapless male has to make the decision, so that she can then criticise it?

Yes, it's called marriage.

[anonymous-user]

matchmaker said:

Yes, it's called marriage.

Ironically, the instigation of which is the one decision you're not allowed a say over.

[g3org3y]

Ari said:

Where do you all find these women?

And why?

Pains me to say it, but I agree with Ari.

How do you lot tolerate this kind of malarkey?
Why are your wives incapable of doing things themselves?
Why is st chat not being called out?
Are you all petrified that she's going to leave you?

"But they all do that Sir"...only if you let them.

Jazzy Jag said:

Beware of any conversation that starts with the wife saying
"I've been thinking..."

That I do agree with as it will usually involve time/effort/money.

[FoxtrotOscar1]

davek_964 said:

Two over the weekend.

Watching Rules of Engagement
Her : Jeff (Patrick Warrbuton) is quite hot
Me : So's Audrey (Megyn Price) - so I'm happy for us to swap
Her : WHAT?
Me : You said he was hot
Her : I didn't say I'd swap!
Me : Er.....

Watching Ranganation, and the "women from a small village" or whatever she was called is standing up.
Her : She has massive boobs.
Me : Yep, she's definitely my favourite of the group
Her : You've scoped the whole group to see which one you fancy??????

I like Jeff. Jeff is me.

[MarkwG]

g3org3y said:

Ari said:

Where do you all find these women?

And why?

Pains me to say it, but I agree with Ari.

How do you lot tolerate this kind of malarkey?
Why are your wives incapable of doing things themselves?
Why is st chat not being called out?
Are you all petrified that she's going to leave you?

Me too! Where's the mutual respect? As my Dad put it, if you act like a doormat,don't be surprised if you get walked on...

[GeneralSinn]

g3org3y said:

"But they all do that Sir"...only if you let them.

Only. If. You. Let. Them

Wow. That’s a pretty bold, stty statement to make - you sound delightful!

[HD Adam]

Never had too much of this with my wife or current g/f apart from the eating out thing.

Her: Let's go out for dinner.
Me: Where do you want to go?
Her: Anywhere you like.
Me: Indian?
Her: No, don't fancy a curry
Me: Chinese?
Her: No
Me: What about that nice Italian Place?
Her: No
Me: Burgers?
Her: No
Me: Vietnamese?
Her: No
Me: Fast Food? You pick?
Her: No.
Me: Well where then?
Her: Anywhere you like.

Rinse & Repeat

My cunning plan for when I retire is to open a small restaurant called "Anywhere you like"

You'll have to book a table 3 month in advance because it will be full of blokes taking their wifey out for dinner

[Jazzy Jag]

Repeat after me, in as patronising a voice as possible.

"Yes dear!"

"What ever your little heart desires, my love"

Edited by Jazzy Jag on Tuesday 21st May 23:05

[davek_964]

FoxtrotOscar1 said:

davek_964 said:

Two over the weekend.

Watching Rules of Engagement
Her : Jeff (Patrick Warrbuton) is quite hot
Me : So's Audrey (Megyn Price) - so I'm happy for us to swap
Her : WHAT?
Me : You said he was hot
Her : I didn't say I'd swap!
Me : Er.....

Watching Ranganation, and the "women from a small village" or whatever she was called is standing up.
Her : She has massive boobs.
Me : Yep, she's definitely my favourite of the group
Her : You've scoped the whole group to see which one you fancy??????

I like Jeff. Jeff is me.

Same here!

[colin_p]

I'm sure it has been mentioned already up-thread but the simplest and often most deadly trap is as follows.

Her: Silent but a bit huffy and puffy and there is quite obviously something wrong.
Him: "Are you ok, is something wrong?"
Her: "No, nothing".

At this point and from years of experience, NEVER ever continue it past this point, just walk away. If you don't you will end up spending an inordinate amount of time trying to find out what is wrong which is always what you have / have not done.

Depending on how bad the thing is that you have no idea about ever having done or not done it may take several days to even find out. In extreme cases it can take weeks.

It can be like a war of attrition, not unlike the RAF vs Luftwaffe. Just make sure you continue to be a plucky chap. You may get caught a few times at first but once you know her (mind) game(s) it should be reasonably easy to take counter measures.

I also find it helpful to use NORAD style DEFCON aggro reviews.

Defcon 5: All good
Defcon 4: Non serious minor disagreement
Defcon 3: A bit of a row
Defcon 2: A blazing row
Defcon 1: A row so bad she says "we are finished"

I've been at Defcon 1 a few times and it has recovered. In fact it sometimes can be best to quickly take it to Defcon 1 as it can make things de-escalate quickly and counter intuitively is better than things hovering around Defcon 2 to 3.

Others may prefer to use a Doomsday Clock instead.