Woman sets trap, man walks in - Tell us your version

[PixelpeepS3]

glenrobbo said:

Felters said:

Mrs Felters "you know my friend Anne?"
Me "errr... yes."
Mrs Felters "Do you find her attractive?
Me"ahhh mmmmrrr brrr quarrr..."

you cannot win that one.

You do realise you're missing out on that threesome, don't you?

What, him, his wife and her pitbull of a divorce lawyer ?

[DickyC]

PixelpeepS3 said:

What, him, his wife and her pitbull of a divorce lawyer ?

"Tell the court what you meant when you said you Felter?"

[glenrobbo]

[Mark Benson]

glenrobbo said:

Felters said:

Mrs Felters "you know my friend Anne?"
Me "errr... yes."
Mrs Felters "Do you find her attractive?
Me"ahhh mmmmrrr brrr quarrr..."

you cannot win that one.

You do realise you're missing out on that threesome, don't you?

Early on in our relationship my wife asked me: "If you had to, which of my friends would you sleep with"

"All of them at once" as an answer meant she never asked stupid questions like that again.

[PixelpeepS3]

DickyC said:

PixelpeepS3 said:

What, him, his wife and her pitbull of a divorce lawyer ?

"Tell the court what you meant when you said you Felter?"

I felter great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

Shortly after i lost 3/4 of my house, all my belongings, the car, the dog and my children.

[DaveTheRave87]

Mark Benson said:

Early on in our relationship my wife asked me: "If you had to, which of my friends would you sleep with"

"All of them at once" as an answer meant she never asked stupid questions like that again.

"Any of them. Beggars can't be choosers, that's why I ended up with you!"

[sideways sid]

Mark Benson said:

Early on in our relationship my wife asked me: "If you had to, which of my friends would you sleep with"

"All of them at once" as an answer meant she never asked stupid questions like that again.

"errm, Again, or for the first time?" is apparently an unacceptable response!

[Dog Star]

Alex said:

My wife: How much was your trip to Le Mans?
Me: (thinks) It was only about £600.
My wife: Oh, I can buy a new sofa then.

Oh I had that one. She sees me buying a surround sound amp at the tills, seconds later comes sprinting back with a food processor (of which we have about ten).

[Kewy]

I told the Mrs I'd be home a couple of hours late last night as I had some tinkering to do with the car.

Things didn't quite go to plan – seized bolts – I ended up being home about 6 hours late.

The Mrs greeted me in a normal fashion and was rather pleasant.

She's plotting something. The trap is set.

[glenrobbo]

Mark Benson said:

Early on in our relationship my wife asked me: "If you had to, which of my friends would you sleep with"

"Sleep with? Where's the fun in sleeping?"

Edited by glenrobbo on Thursday 20th June 15:54

[Mark Benson]

glenrobbo said:

Mark Benson said:

Early on in our relationship my wife asked me: "If you had to, which of my friends would you sleep with"

"Sleep with? Where's the fun in sleeping?"

Edited by glenrobbo on Thursday 20th June 15:54

At my age you take what you can get

[RC1807]

Alex said:

My wife: How much was your trip to Le Mans?
Me: (thinks) It was only about £600.
My wife: Oh, I can buy a new sofa then.

I spent about the same. I didn't have to also buy a new sofa though.

[V8mate]

Mark Benson said:

Early on in our relationship my wife asked me: "If you had to, which of my friends would you sleep with"

"All of them at once" as an answer meant she never asked stupid questions like that again.

"Should I include your mother and sister in the definition of 'friends'?"

[anonymous-user]

"and your Dad's quite fit"

[George Smiley]

Defcon 5!!!

We are away this weekend, she’s picked the location slap bang in the middle of nowhere cos it looks romantic.

Her: you plan a few things to do, something exciting would be good.

Me (thinking to myself): suppose sex in the forest meets her requirement but not sure that’s what she means.

[Frank7]

George Smiley said:

Defcon 5!!!

We are away this weekend, she’s picked the location slap bang in the middle of nowhere cos it looks romantic.

Her: you plan a few things to do, something exciting would be good.

Me (thinking to myself): suppose sex in the forest meets her requirement but not sure that’s what she means.

It was ever thus chez nous George, if I said, “I know, how about?”, she’d say “Do you ever think of anything else?”
Apparently, “Why?, what else is there to think about”, was not the correct answer.

[paua]

Frank7 said:

George Smiley said:

Defcon 5!!!

We are away this weekend, she’s picked the location slap bang in the middle of nowhere cos it looks romantic.

Her: you plan a few things to do, something exciting would be good.

Me (thinking to myself): suppose sex in the forest meets her requirement but not sure that’s what she means.

It was ever thus chez nous George, if I said, “I know, how about?”, she’d say “Do you ever think of anything else?”
Apparently, “Why?, what else is there to think about”, was not the correct answer.

Back of the taxi, perhaps.

[trackdemon]

George Smiley said:

Defcon 5!!!

We are away this weekend, she’s picked the location slap bang in the middle of nowhere cos it looks romantic.

Her: you plan a few things to do, something exciting would be good.

Me (thinking to myself): suppose sex in the forest meets her requirement but not sure that’s what she means.

My missus has booked us a camping holiday in a forest in a few weeks; that's exactly what she'll expect. I suppose I'll manage #notmarried

[George Smiley]

Need advice

I’m not fat, but if a dad bod but if I had to, I’d do me.

Last night she says she’s never dated a skinny bloke she likes a bit of weight.

Wtf do I do? Had that been said to her we all know the reaction. Is this a green light to slip into middle age spread? Or is she secretly saying you’re fat so I think I’ll do something about it?

[DickyC]

Arrive at home with mega take out from McDonald's and a big bag of donuts and observe her reaction.

In particular the filled donuts from M&S at a filling station. I'd recommend the custard ones.