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Local Facebook groups

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Dont like rolls

3,798 posts

55 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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Bulk tissue order to Magnum 475 and Gary who obviously spent way to much time "on the internet"

talksthetorque

10,815 posts

136 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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Magnum 475 said:
Our village has had assorted fund-raisers running including one by Rudy. Rudy is less than 10 years old, but doing his bit by selling donuts, slushies etc to the village kids. His mum decided to advertise an extra special service on our local facebook group. I'm quite sure she meant to say 'Custard Pie'.....

Trades descriptions innit.
Will be squirty cream.

Plus the fact that a creampie in the scenario you are sniggering about does not relate to the face -*cough* a friend told me *cough*.

eldar

21,849 posts

197 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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Spare tyre said:
We get the air ambulance over a couple of times a day as we live near a hospital. It’s amazing that people will be certain it’s the police helicopter despite being able to see it’s not, apps are available etc, then all the Karen’s explaining that they were chasing a speeding driver or pedo or something, which makes no sense at it just shot past in a a straight line.

Thankfully I’m not on Facebook, but my wife knows I find the bizarre discussions amusing.
The phantom pedo, there is one lurking everywhere.

Locally we had a short but emotionally extreme spat about exactly what variety of pedo a pedalo was. Many egos were bruised.

Funny, it certainly was.

daddy cool

4,003 posts

230 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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I don't know about you guys, but when I go shopping in Bracknell market I just hand over some money and ask them to put some goods in my bag, then when I get home I have a look at what I got and how much it cost me.


thetapeworm

11,282 posts

240 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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daddy cool said:
I don't know about you guys, but when I go shopping in Bracknell market I just hand over some money and ask them to put some goods in my bag, then when I get home I have a look at what I got and how much it cost me.

The error there seems to be buying veg in bowls, surely that attracts a significant premium over paper bags?

GloverMart

11,858 posts

216 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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talksthetorque said:
Magnum 475 said:
Our village has had assorted fund-raisers running including one by Rudy. Rudy is less than 10 years old, but doing his bit by selling donuts, slushies etc to the village kids. His mum decided to advertise an extra special service on our local facebook group. I'm quite sure she meant to say 'Custard Pie'.....

Trades descriptions innit.
Will be squirty cream.

Plus the fact that a creampie in the scenario you are sniggering about does not relate to the face -*cough* a friend told me *cough*.
Thanks for the clarification.

Best wishes

Mr W. Hoosh.

Spare tyre

9,660 posts

131 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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Report a sighting of a wallaby, get a few mates to report it on a neighbouring group

They do bite children, this is important for Karen to know

SistersofPercy

3,364 posts

167 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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Taking great offence on ours at the audacity of people to let off fireworks at a local Asian wedding at 4pm on a Sunday afternoon. Along with little digs like 'bet there were more than 30 guests'. One delightful lady replied to a comment asking where the fireworks were with 'Pa*i wedding'.

Meanwhile, some brain dead 'yummy mummy' is trying to flog her home made wooden bead teething rings. What could possibly go wrong....



talksthetorque

10,815 posts

136 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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SistersofPercy said:
Taking great offence on ours at the audacity of people to let off fireworks at a local Asian wedding at 4pm on a Sunday afternoon. Along with little digs like 'bet there were more than 30 guests'. One delightful lady replied to a comment asking where the fireworks were with 'Pa*i wedding'.

Meanwhile, some brain dead 'yummy mummy' is trying to flog her home made wooden bead teething rings. What could possibly go wrong....


Christ - for one minute then I thought they were cutesy handcuffs!

daddy cool

4,003 posts

230 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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SistersofPercy said:
Meanwhile, some brain dead 'yummy mummy' is trying to flog her home made wooden bead teething rings. What could possibly go wrong....


You can re-arrange some of the letters to spell "killer". You should point that out to her.

SistersofPercy

3,364 posts

167 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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daddy cool said:
You can re-arrange some of the letters to spell "killer". You should point that out to her.
To be fair it's a pleasant change from the usual dummy clips covered in crystals. Her profile picture has small kids in it as well. Good luck to them.

PurpleTurtle

7,048 posts

145 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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SistersofPercy said:
Taking great offence on ours at the audacity of people to let off fireworks at a local Asian wedding at 4pm on a Sunday afternoon. Along with little digs like 'bet there were more than 30 guests'. One delightful lady replied to a comment asking where the fireworks were with 'Pa*i wedding'.

Meanwhile, some brain dead 'yummy mummy' is trying to flog her home made wooden bead teething rings. What could possibly go wrong....


Yeah, but buyers get the opportunity to check into the local A&E on FB when their rugrat inevitably chokes on a piece, allowing all the local Karens to respond with 'U OK hun?', so it's got a market, sign me up! hehe

feef

5,206 posts

184 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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PurpleTurtle said:
SistersofPercy said:
Taking great offence on ours at the audacity of people to let off fireworks at a local Asian wedding at 4pm on a Sunday afternoon. Along with little digs like 'bet there were more than 30 guests'. One delightful lady replied to a comment asking where the fireworks were with 'Pa*i wedding'.

Meanwhile, some brain dead 'yummy mummy' is trying to flog her home made wooden bead teething rings. What could possibly go wrong....


Yeah, but buyers get the opportunity to check into the local A&E on FB when their rugrat inevitably chokes on a piece, allowing all the local Karens to respond with 'U OK hun?', so it's got a market, sign me up! hehe
They can follow up with "thorts and payers", which will hopefully work before someone ends up "wiv da angles"

blingybongy

3,882 posts

147 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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feef said:
They can follow up with "thorts and payers", which will hopefully work before someone ends up "wiv da angles"

WizzBang

297 posts

107 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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talksthetorque said:
Magnum 475 said:
Our village has had assorted fund-raisers running including one by Rudy. Rudy is less than 10 years old, but doing his bit by selling donuts, slushies etc to the village kids. His mum decided to advertise an extra special service on our local facebook group. I'm quite sure she meant to say 'Custard Pie'.....

Trades descriptions innit.
Will be squirty cream.

Plus the fact that a creampie in the scenario you are sniggering about does not relate to the face -*cough* a friend told me *cough*.
Well my friend tells me that ‘Creampie Face’ is a Pornhub search term - there is such a thing.

I think Rudy knows what he wants. whistle

595Heaven

2,423 posts

79 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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I've been having a bit of a garage / shed clearout today and thought I'd put some of the stuff on our local Facebook 'Free Stuff' site. Not sure I'll bother again.

'Where are you?'
'We're at 40 Suchandsuch Road'
'What end of the the road is that?'

Do these people not know how house numbers work?

Also had a bloke who I genuinely thought was going to collapse on my drive. He was big. I mean BIG, with compression socks on. Mid conversation, his face contorts and he spent several long minutes 'getting my breath', leaning on the house looking awful. I offered to get him a chair, but he refused. If he'd collapsed it would have needed a whole gang of us to get him up...

Did put a few more valuable things on eBay, but even that is hard work nowadays.

eltawater

3,116 posts

180 months

Monday 20th July 2020
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595Heaven said:
I've been having a bit of a garage / shed clearout today and thought I'd put some of the stuff on our local Facebook 'Free Stuff' site. Not sure I'll bother again.

'Where are you?'
'We're at 40 Suchandsuch Road'
'What end of the the road is that?'

Do these people not know how house numbers work?
I present to you....

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@52.0383424,-0.31646...

From the streetview you can see one side of the road is number 8. The other side of the road is 39.
https://tinyurl.com/yy6vseu2

Now go and find number 17 and see where it is in relation to 24 and 33 biggrin

595Heaven

2,423 posts

79 months

Tuesday 21st July 2020
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eltawater said:
595Heaven said:
I've been having a bit of a garage / shed clearout today and thought I'd put some of the stuff on our local Facebook 'Free Stuff' site. Not sure I'll bother again.

'Where are you?'
'We're at 40 Suchandsuch Road'
'What end of the the road is that?'

Do these people not know how house numbers work?
I present to you....

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@52.0383424,-0.31646...

From the streetview you can see one side of the road is number 8. The other side of the road is 39.
https://tinyurl.com/yy6vseu2

Now go and find number 17 and see where it is in relation to 24 and 33 biggrin
Argh! Fortunately Suchandsuch Road goes from one end of the village to the other and so is logically numbered

Fer

7,711 posts

281 months

Tuesday 21st July 2020
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595Heaven said:
Argh! Fortunately Suchandsuch Road goes from one end of the village to the other and so is logically numbered
"Suchandsuch Road? I gone to Suchandsuch Lane. Why are your numbers so confusing?"

talksthetorque

10,815 posts

136 months

Wednesday 22nd July 2020
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I'd hate to know why autocorrect picked that word to correct to.