Match.com (Vol. 7)

[technodup]

S1KRR said:

In Porn I think "Gonzo" relates to a sort of story before the action. So the classic plumber comes to fix the pipes before just smashing her back doors in.

It's the opposite. No acting, no script, just straight to it, usually 3/4/5 at a time.

[R Mutt]

Petrus1983 said:

Mjb- I’m not going to copy and paste your v good post due to its length, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a coffee and walk on a first date, it’s lovely infact. One of the girls I met 2 years ago started out as that, she had no money at all and still offered to pay - she also brought a copy of The Alchemist as a gift for me which I found very special.

And to answer your question I did weirdly have scrambled eggs for breakfast - hope that isn’t an omen

Went on possibly my 4th sober first-date at the weekend. A coffee as we'd had to reschedule from Friday night.

I'd not seen any of the previous 3 again although I will follow up on this one.

Guessing there are a few factors at play here that I can think of

1. A quick coffee is non committal, although a quick midweek drink can serve the same purpose with the excuse of work the following day.
2. Less in common if one party is not a big drinker
3. A walk is less face-to-face

[S1KRR]

Few weeks ago matched with a lady, (Bumble) had a few back n forth conversations. But I felt it wasn't going anywhere. Not at the hook point. We just kept talking about her dog. (I like doggies, but come on ) I mentioned where I lived in one of my replies. Which made her respond saying "Oh you're near me" When her location is on her profile. Like it was a surprise.

Then she asked me what I did for a living. Again if she'd read my profile, she'd have seen what I do. It's on there. Not just job role, but also the name of the company. As was hers to be fair. But I hadn't gotten around to talking about that yet.

I assumed from those 2 points that either a) She was a Catfish/Scammer profile or b) She was an idiot. So I just stopped responding. (ah sue me! )


After a couple weeks she deleted me. Fine, no harm done.



Then today, via my Hinge account, (same pics) she's re-liked me.

I mean this IS blatantly a bot/scam isn't it!

[Saleen836]

S1KRR said:

Few weeks ago matched with a lady, (Bumble) had a few back n forth conversations. But I felt it wasn't going anywhere. Not at the hook point. We just kept talking about her dog. (I like doggies, but come on ) I mentioned where I lived in one of my replies. Which made her respond saying "Oh you're near me" When her location is on her profile. Like it was a surprise.

Then she asked me what I did for a living. Again if she'd read my profile, she'd have seen what I do. It's on there. Not just job role, but also the name of the company. As was hers to be fair. But I hadn't gotten around to talking about that yet.

I assumed from those 2 points that either a) She was a Catfish/Scammer profile or b) She was an idiot. So I just stopped responding. (ah sue me! )


After a couple weeks she deleted me. Fine, no harm done.



Then today, via my Hinge account, (same pics) she's re-liked me.

I mean this IS blatantly a bot/scam isn't it!

Or she has been trying to converse with so many she has forgotten you

[GloverMart]

S1KRR said:

Few weeks ago matched with a lady, (Bumble) had a few back n forth conversations. But I felt it wasn't going anywhere. Not at the hook point. We just kept talking about her dog. (I like doggies, but come on ) I mentioned where I lived in one of my replies. Which made her respond saying "Oh you're near me" When her location is on her profile. Like it was a surprise.

Then she asked me what I did for a living. Again if she'd read my profile, she'd have seen what I do. It's on there. Not just job role, but also the name of the company. As was hers to be fair. But I hadn't gotten around to talking about that yet.

I assumed from those 2 points that either a) She was a Catfish/Scammer profile or b) She was an idiot. So I just stopped responding. (ah sue me! )


After a couple weeks she deleted me. Fine, no harm done.



Then today, via my Hinge account, (same pics) she's re-liked me.

I mean this IS blatantly a bot/scam isn't it!

I'm not sure I'd put my job role and company on my profile, but each to their own.

[Petrus1983]

GloverMart said:

I'm not sure I'd put my job role and company on my profile, but each to their own.

This - Hinge encourages you to put your surname - ridiculous.

Be as vague as possible without lying.

[S1KRR]

Saleen836 said:

Or she has been trying to converse with so many she has forgotten you

So it's b) then

Petrus1983 said:

GloverMart said:

I'm not sure I'd put my job role and company on my profile, but each to their own.

This - Hinge encourages you to put your surname - ridiculous.

Be as vague as possible without lying.

Job Role is relatively generic. Company is a large household name multinational. (Guarantee everyone reading this would know it ) So again, neither too specific. And I don't live in the same place as work. And even my home location is actually slightly wrong (not my choice, location thing is picking up the wrong details)


RE Surnames. I changed mine on it to be a duplicate of my first name. I do think it's an odd idea though. Not great for protecting ID of people against those with more undesirable intentions

It's all managed by me, so I'm relatively comfy with it.


What I'm not comfy with. Is why I even bother with the apps. I find myself flicking through them when I'm bored. And after about 5 or 6 swipes I just cant be arsed. I'm not the biggest player on the market. I reckon 5 or 6 first dates over the last 12-18 months or so. Only 1 went a couple months. It's the constant "first bit" Where you're getting to know the person and sizing up if you're compatible, interests etc. And it's utterly boring and repetitive. (not to mention can be costly)

I said to my friends recently. I wish I could just drop in at the 3 month stage. Once you have a rough understanding of each other. And are feeling like it would go somewhere It's even been a good while since I had any action. I don't think I even miss it currently! And whilst I chat and flirt with some of the girls at work. (more to keep my eye in so to speak) I just haven't got the inclination to take any of it further.

Plus there's the aforementioned "cuffing season" which just makes me suspicious of motives

I think I'll give the apps a pause until after Christmas. Maybe after Valentines day would be better!

[Petrus1983]

S1KRR said:

Maybe after Valentines day would be better!

Not dating for 6 months to avoid a quick trip to Boux Avenue - cheapskate

[Petrus1983]

Anyone got any fun dates coming up this weekend?

[mjb1]

Petrus1983 said:

Anyone got any fun dates coming up this weekend?

Erm, no, not me anyway. I'm way from home for a few days, so Tinder and Bumble are 'working' in a fresh location for me. Not making any difference though, still not getting any realistic prospects swiping right on me - they're all getting on for 10 years older than me, and look rough for their age.

I was talking to a new friend the other day, says he met his current missus on Tinder (they're been together a couple of years, living together so a proper established long term relationship). He said that before they met he was awash with dates and offers though Tinder, constantly had several women lined up for dates. I showed him the profiles of what had swiped right on me, and he couldn't believe how bad they all are. In his own words, he describes himself as a short, fat, balding 50 something. He was truly astonished when I told him I'm having no success at all on there. And we're in the same geographical area, so I can't even blame it on that any more. When he first met me, he thought I was in my late 20's, and people are regularly shocked when they find out that I'm actually 40. Admittedly I'm not the most handsome chap out there. I'm in good shape and reasonably well groomed though, but I think I'd feel well out of place dating a old looking 50 y/o, would look like I was out with my mother!

I've deleted all the text from my Tinder profile, what I'd got there didn't seem to be helping - think I had more swipes when I had nothing in there before that! I've previously tried some self depreciating witty profile text and that wasn't working either. Got some idea's for a new one, but haven't had chance to type it out yet.

Would it be bad form to post a screenshot here of what's swiping right on me on Tinder? Wondering if I'm being too picky?

[Lemming Train]

^ Does this "new friend" have a bunch of kids in tow that take up 95% of his time?


Just post up your dating profiles and pics here if you want an honest opinion of the reasons why you're not seeing any action. Might be a bit brutal but it could just be something as simple as a fashion faux pas that you are completely oblivious to which is putting everyone off.

[technodup]

mjb1 said:

still not getting any realistic prospects swiping right on me - they're all getting on for 10 years older than me, and look rough for their age.

I think someone needs to lower their expectations... pretty much by definition the ones swiping on you are realistically your level.

[S1KRR]

technodup said:

think someone needs to lower their expectations... pretty much by definition the ones swiping on you are realistically your level.

This. As we've said the algorithms matter. When I first singed up to Hinge. EVERY girl was super HOT. It's obviously adjusted it down a little. But whilst I still get the odd minger, there's still some good looking girls being pimped to me Though I'm still flicking through the profile to see if there's any similarities in hobbies, outlooks etc. Sometimes the girl is great looking, but there's nothing else there, so I would swipe left anyway.

MJB1

Post up the pics, you can always go back and edit your post to delete them after some hopefully constructive criticism

If he does, nobody quote them so it can be deleted easily

Petrus1983 said:

Not dating for 6 months to avoid a quick trip to Boux Avenue - cheapskate

Pah, I haven't even been in a fancy knickers shop for years now!

Edited by S1KRR on Friday 25th October 20:44

[Petrus1983]

technodup said:

mjb1 said:

still not getting any realistic prospects swiping right on me - they're all getting on for 10 years older than me, and look rough for their age.

I think someone needs to lower their expectations... pretty much by definition the ones swiping on you are realistically your level.

Not necessarily - I’m 39 and most of my like are in the 18-34 range. Recently put Hinge on my phone and now getting likes from older people, but still enough sub 35’s to make it interesting. I’m guessing wrong photos are being used.

[Humble Pi]

What are good photos to use?

[Petrus1983]

Humble Pi said:

What are good photos to use?

Apparently group ones and gym ones don’t work well. Luckily I don’t go to the gym so it’s never been a big issue. Also I feel it’s better to have 4 good ones than 8 so so ones - I often swipe through a girls photos and get to #6 and then think no afterall, having liked the first few.

[George Smiley]

Go for duck face, deer eye or pixie nose filters

[Petrus1983]

George Smiley said:

Go for duck face, deer eye or pixie nose filters

All valid and good points - will be the quickest way to meet your future wife.

[George Smiley]

Petrus1983 said:

All valid and good points - will be the quickest way to meet your future wife.

I think next time I wont swipe left on such profiles and instead consider them as potential soul mates

[Petrus1983]

George Smiley said:

Petrus1983 said:

All valid and good points - will be the quickest way to meet your future wife.

I think next time I wont swipe left on such profiles and instead consider them as potential soul mates

Please don’t. #standards