Match.com (Vol. 7)
Discussion
I think the traditional way of looking at 'man pays' is chivalrous or etiquette or whatever, but in 2020 it feels just a bit like it's more about a man who wants a woman to be subservient, and women who are happy to be that in order to get taken to nice places, not have to work etc. It's more like Donald Trump than James Bond, regardless of how the guy wants to appear. I mean do what you want but the perception of s
t like this is changing all around you as we speak.
t like this is changing all around you as we speak. Thankyou4calling said:
I’ll answer that , and I guess it’ll not be well received here. Please don’t dissect every word.
I’d ask for the date, the lady might say a certain town or area but I’d choose the venue. I might put a couple forward but it’d be me doing that.
Why? Well first I know a lot of great places to go, I’d already got an idea of the ladies likes etc so the suggestion was well received and appropriate.
Finally, and I know this won’t go well, I wasn’t interested in women who were keen on choosing, I wanted to take the lead and be with someone who enjoyed that. I wasn’t keen on people with strong opinions on what we should do, I wanted someone who looked fantastic, wanted to be wined, dined and taken to swanky places.
That was my “Type”
I really try not to judge others by there choice of partner, try not to judge me.
You are ‘’weighing up’’ your lady before the meet then. I’d ask for the date, the lady might say a certain town or area but I’d choose the venue. I might put a couple forward but it’d be me doing that.
Why? Well first I know a lot of great places to go, I’d already got an idea of the ladies likes etc so the suggestion was well received and appropriate.
Finally, and I know this won’t go well, I wasn’t interested in women who were keen on choosing, I wanted to take the lead and be with someone who enjoyed that. I wasn’t keen on people with strong opinions on what we should do, I wanted someone who looked fantastic, wanted to be wined, dined and taken to swanky places.
That was my “Type”
I really try not to judge others by there choice of partner, try not to judge me.
Edited by Thankyou4calling on Tuesday 3rd November 12:56
I am not knocking it by the way, just my observation .
Absolutely. If they were happy with Harvester or a walk I’d not entertain it.
5 inch heels do not go well with a trip to a stately home.
I was looking for a certain type.
I do find a lot of people are in what I’d call a comfort zone. The person they are with isn’t really the person they want to be with but it’s convenient and low maintenance.
If you asked me who, out of anyone, I’d want to be with?
It’s exactly my fiancé
5 inch heels do not go well with a trip to a stately home.
I was looking for a certain type.
I do find a lot of people are in what I’d call a comfort zone. The person they are with isn’t really the person they want to be with but it’s convenient and low maintenance.
If you asked me who, out of anyone, I’d want to be with?
It’s exactly my fiancé
Thankyou4calling said:
Absolutely. If they were happy with Harvester or a walk I’d not entertain it.
5 inch heels do not go well with a trip to a stately home.
I was looking for a certain type.
I do find a lot of people are in what I’d call a comfort zone. The person they are with isn’t really the person they want to be with but it’s convenient and low maintenance.
If you asked me who, out of anyone, I’d want to be with?
It’s exactly my fiancé
fiancée5 inch heels do not go well with a trip to a stately home.
I was looking for a certain type.
I do find a lot of people are in what I’d call a comfort zone. The person they are with isn’t really the person they want to be with but it’s convenient and low maintenance.
If you asked me who, out of anyone, I’d want to be with?
It’s exactly my fiancé
Thankyou4calling said:
Absolutely. If they were happy with Harvester or a walk I’d not entertain it.
5 inch heels do not go well with a trip to a stately home.
I was looking for a certain type.
I do find a lot of people are in what I’d call a comfort zone. The person they are with isn’t really the person they want to be with but it’s convenient and low maintenance.
If you asked me who, out of anyone, I’d want to be with?
It’s exactly my fiancé
With no judgement, I'd suggest you too are in a comfort zone (why would one choose a zone they aren't comfortable in), yours being subservient women who won't challenge your opinions or decisions. Which is absolutely fine, but you can presumably see how that too is a certain 'zone' and with it comes comfort?5 inch heels do not go well with a trip to a stately home.
I was looking for a certain type.
I do find a lot of people are in what I’d call a comfort zone. The person they are with isn’t really the person they want to be with but it’s convenient and low maintenance.
If you asked me who, out of anyone, I’d want to be with?
It’s exactly my fiancé
Totally understand why what is arguably the more 'classic' male / female relationship pattern would appeal and if it's your type then it'll make both of you happy so good job
Thankyou4calling said:
... dating stuff
That's interesting. I like the idea of the man taking the lead as to where to go and what to do and I'll be considering his choices with interest. At some point later on, I'd make suggestions, but while it's all going well and no ropey bars etc are suggested I'll go with the flow. On the other hand, someone who leaves it to me to organise everything and make all the decisions looks a bit wimpish. I'm perfectly able to do so, but those choices are what lets you know if you're on the same wavelength.This is where my 2 dates at the weekend were like chalk and cheese. One guy dived straight in with "do you fancy meeting up for a drink tomorrow?", which was a surprise but ok, until he said "Victoria Station, the Wetherspoons upstairs 3pm ok?". It died a death at that point. The other guy asked if I'd like to meet up upon my return from holiday (Thursday) and suggested a nice French restaurant near his. Perfect. Great conversation, excellent menu, good wine list and although I offered to pay, he declined. A really nice evening and we're now considering how to negotiate lockdown!
Blown2CV said:
it seems weird to me that expecting a guy to make all the choices is cool but if the guy does the same he's a wimp. Why is it wimpish? Because they aren't telling you what to do? Are you saying all women want to be dominated or something..........
When I started dating an ex many years ago, I'd say where do you want to go, she'd say you decide.We'd go to the cinema, I'd ask which film do you want to see? You pick she'd say.This went on for months.In the end I'd stop asking and just suggest something/somewhere which she'd usually go along with.Some years down the line I was told I was a control freak.Sometimes you can't win
It's no wonder so many people are single. Whatever happened to a conversation about where you'd both like to go?
All this taking/not taking the lead and analysing it sounds weird to me. Where does "where do you fancy going?" place me? Indecisive or emancipated? Just have a conversation and agree somewhere. If you can't agree, you've got a great insight and saved yourself a wasted evening a few quid.
The only times I've told someone where they are going it has been as a surprise treat and vice versa.
All this taking/not taking the lead and analysing it sounds weird to me. Where does "where do you fancy going?" place me? Indecisive or emancipated? Just have a conversation and agree somewhere. If you can't agree, you've got a great insight and saved yourself a wasted evening a few quid.
The only times I've told someone where they are going it has been as a surprise treat and vice versa.
duffy78 said:
Blown2CV said:
the perception of st like this is changing all around you as we speak.
Not from my dating experience it isn't. t like this is changing all around you as we speak. y as time goes on. If you don't give a fk (and i am sure anyone with those opinions will not indeed give one), then fine. However as this is a discussion forum you will get opinions in response to your opinions... if you only surround yourself with... a certain type of woman... then i am sure it will appear that the world is stuck in 1930. V8covin said:
Blown2CV said:
it seems weird to me that expecting a guy to make all the choices is cool but if the guy does the same he's a wimp. Why is it wimpish? Because they aren't telling you what to do? Are you saying all women want to be dominated or something..........
When I started dating an ex many years ago, I'd say where do you want to go, she'd say you decide.We'd go to the cinema, I'd ask which film do you want to see? You pick she'd say.This went on for months.In the end I'd stop asking and just suggest something/somewhere which she'd usually go along with.Some years down the line I was told I was a control freak.Sometimes you can't win
duffy78 said:
Taylor James said:
It's no wonder so many people are single. Whatever happened to a conversation about where you'd both like to go?
If you pay attention you'll find the guys saying they would take the lead are the ones that arent single. Coincidence? I very much doubt it.
here because it's a brief way to express what i think the personal brand is...... being that works well for some, but the advice i would give is to try and not to be a , unless the guy wants to be the sort of who only attracts the sort of women who are attracted to s. Having a relationship based upon ery is not a long game.... maybe those women are the sort of women who might well find another more y or more domineering, rich, whatever guy one day. I'm just saying the acrimonious divorce threads are another popular home in PH. Best of luck i guess. duffy78 said:
Blown2CV said:
the perception of st like this is changing all around you as we speak.
Not from my dating experience it isn't. t like this is changing all around you as we speak. In my experience feminism is favoured by a very particular set of women. And not a particularly attractive set.
technodup said:
duffy78 said:
Blown2CV said:
the perception of st like this is changing all around you as we speak.
Not from my dating experience it isn't. t like this is changing all around you as we speak. In my experience feminism is favoured by a very particular set of women. And not a particularly attractive set.
ks sake this place. Look I'm gonna give up now as I am not some of kind of womens' equality spokeperson so it's not up to me to sell this idea... i'm just amazed that some people can't have the self-awareness to say yea i look for that type of woman, and those type of women are the only ones who want me, so i'm ok in my bubble.... rather than saying NOPE ALL WOMEN WANT TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO. They don't... you just go for the ones that do, or the ones that are prepared to appear that way to get what they want. That's it. Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff