Match.com (Vol. 7)
Discussion
dai1983 said:
Just saw a profile with the main pic being a reflection of them posing in their undies in the mirror. Can also see their baby crawling on their bed in the reflection!
Never ceased to amaze me the number of ladies who had taken a selfie on a night out in the mirror of a clearly public toilet. Or the ones that have taken one at home in their bedroom, and in the reflection you can see they live in an absolute dump with crap everywhere.Stay classy.
PAUL.S. said:
Sure that is something you can do when you have that option, typically in your twenties, loads of single mates, plenty of places to go that are full of single people.
You have to ask yourself though even that generation are the ones fueling the OLD boom, so clearly the real world has changed since most of us were in that demographic.
Post lockdown, people have become used to doing virtually everything online.
As a 40/50 something I have had far more success online than I did out clubbing, but it takes a lot more effort, probably something I could not have been arsed to do back then either. These days I have the spare time, and the thought of hitting endless bars, staking out potential targets and then getting the cold shoulder most of the time holds no appeal.
Latest trick with OLD now seems to be to set up a profile, put up loads of great pics (of someone else with the same hair colour!) sit back for a couple of weeks and let the algorithm bounce you straight to the top of the hit list, harvest loads of likes/messages as a result, then swap out the pics for your real ones and only then start replying!
Now had two replies from girls I had messaged a couple of weeks previous , and no way would I have done so based on their current profiles.
If you cannot beat them, join them I guess, so does anyone have any pics of Petrus I can borrow for a bit?!
I think that's quite sad. Using a trick to entice responses.You have to ask yourself though even that generation are the ones fueling the OLD boom, so clearly the real world has changed since most of us were in that demographic.
Post lockdown, people have become used to doing virtually everything online.
As a 40/50 something I have had far more success online than I did out clubbing, but it takes a lot more effort, probably something I could not have been arsed to do back then either. These days I have the spare time, and the thought of hitting endless bars, staking out potential targets and then getting the cold shoulder most of the time holds no appeal.
Latest trick with OLD now seems to be to set up a profile, put up loads of great pics (of someone else with the same hair colour!) sit back for a couple of weeks and let the algorithm bounce you straight to the top of the hit list, harvest loads of likes/messages as a result, then swap out the pics for your real ones and only then start replying!
Now had two replies from girls I had messaged a couple of weeks previous , and no way would I have done so based on their current profiles.
If you cannot beat them, join them I guess, so does anyone have any pics of Petrus I can borrow for a bit?!
Edited by PAUL.S. on Wednesday 25th May 12:09
I kind of disagree with the rest of it as well.
I found myself single for a couple of years at 44 years old. I was able to meet ladies from 27-40.
(no overweight ones, not my thing)
Can't imagine how I would have met them online.
Had couple of flings from that. One 3/4 month relationship. One I would have absolutely wanted long term.
She wasn't on apps: I met her in a cafe in Shoreditch and we got talking..
However...I went away for a three month sabbatical and met my now wife and mother of child.
She was in a restaurant with friends. Got talking, got number, called her next day and asked her to lunch.
How would I have met her..?.she has never used a dating app.
I don't think I texted any of above to start with, always called them. I have no facebook or instagram: which was a shocker to younger ones, including my wife!
There was a spark from the off...if there hadn't been we wouldn't have followed up. Same for others above.
No need to meet for awkward dates with someone you realise you don't like.
I didn't know anything about them and vice-versa when we first met. Hence being able to have those conversations..
Look after yourself, be able to speak like a normal person, meet people.
Think of time you would save. I was either out with friends or on my own. These meetings just happened, naturally. Not endless messaging or lies or spreadsheets. Absolutely wasting hours of your lives that you could be using for something else.
That's me done: I realise this about internet dating, not about not doing it.
Honestly though: I find it all a bit sad.
Edited by jdw100 on Friday 27th May 06:58
jdw100 said:
I think that's quite sad. Using a trick to entice responses.
I kind of disagree with the rest of it as well.
I found myself single for a couple of years at 44 years old. I was able to meet ladies from 27-40.
(no overweight ones, not my thing)
Can't imagine how I would have met them online.
Had couple of flings from that. One 3/4 month relationship. One I would have absolutely wanted long term.
She wasn't on apps: I met her in a cafe in Shoreditch and we got talking..
However...I went away for a three month sabbatical and met my now wife and mother of child.
She was in a restaurant with friends. Got talking, got number, called her next day and asked her to lunch.
How would I have met her..?.she has never used a dating app.
I don't think I texted any of above to start with, always called them. I have no facebook or instagram: which was a shocker to younger ones, including my wife!
There was a spark from the off...if there hadn't been we wouldn't have followed up. Same for others above.
No need to meet for awkward dates with someone you realise you don't like.
I didn't know anything about them and vice-versa when we first met. Hence being able to have those conversations..
Look after yourself, be able to speak like a normal person, meet people.
Think of time you would save. I was either out with friends or on my own. These meetings just happened, naturally. Not endless messaging or lies or spreadsheets. Absolutely wasting hours of your lives that you could be using for something else.
That's me done: I realise this about internet dating, not about not doing it.
Honestly though: I find it all a bit sad.
Not everyone can be like you and meet people in social situations and OLD is there only option......and even if that's not the case it's another option.I kind of disagree with the rest of it as well.
I found myself single for a couple of years at 44 years old. I was able to meet ladies from 27-40.
(no overweight ones, not my thing)
Can't imagine how I would have met them online.
Had couple of flings from that. One 3/4 month relationship. One I would have absolutely wanted long term.
She wasn't on apps: I met her in a cafe in Shoreditch and we got talking..
However...I went away for a three month sabbatical and met my now wife and mother of child.
She was in a restaurant with friends. Got talking, got number, called her next day and asked her to lunch.
How would I have met her..?.she has never used a dating app.
I don't think I texted any of above to start with, always called them. I have no facebook or instagram: which was a shocker to younger ones, including my wife!
There was a spark from the off...if there hadn't been we wouldn't have followed up. Same for others above.
No need to meet for awkward dates with someone you realise you don't like.
I didn't know anything about them and vice-versa when we first met. Hence being able to have those conversations..
Look after yourself, be able to speak like a normal person, meet people.
Think of time you would save. I was either out with friends or on my own. These meetings just happened, naturally. Not endless messaging or lies or spreadsheets. Absolutely wasting hours of your lives that you could be using for something else.
That's me done: I realise this about internet dating, not about not doing it.
Honestly though: I find it all a bit sad.
Edited by jdw100 on Friday 27th May 06:58
You live in a big city,what about those who live in a small village in the country ? Where are they supposed to meet people when there's no cafes or restaurants to stumble upon someone.
Everyone's situation is different,OLD has been a godsend for many people and many relationships formed that wouldn't have otherwise
You do realise eventually that if you don't get out that much are not that keen on endless social activity, that the people you are talking to on dating websites are either vapid attention seeking whatevers or just like you, so perhaps not best suited to being in relationships, hence why they are there.
Sadly it took me far too long and far too many endless email trails and let-downs and bad relationships to realise sometimes there is not a person for you, you bring bad stuff to the situation so you are best off and happiest being on your own.
It is a tough admission, but the pool you are searching in on dating websites is fairly putrid to be honest, and now they all expect me to pay for the privilege, lol whatever.
Sadly it took me far too long and far too many endless email trails and let-downs and bad relationships to realise sometimes there is not a person for you, you bring bad stuff to the situation so you are best off and happiest being on your own.
It is a tough admission, but the pool you are searching in on dating websites is fairly putrid to be honest, and now they all expect me to pay for the privilege, lol whatever.
Online dating and going out and meeting people aren't mutually exclusive events.
I've met women on the train, in bars, in shops and through online dating. I'm just a damn hero.
There's no right way or wrong way, and there's certainly not just one person out there for people... on a planet of almost 8bn people, it's pretty unlikely that anyone has found 'the one' - 'a one' certainly
.
I've met women on the train, in bars, in shops and through online dating. I'm just a damn hero
.There's no right way or wrong way, and there's certainly not just one person out there for people... on a planet of almost 8bn people, it's pretty unlikely that anyone has found 'the one' - 'a one' certainly
. number2 said:
Online dating and going out and meeting people aren't mutually exclusive events.
I've met women on the train, in bars, in shops and through online dating. I'm just a damn hero.
Quite, I’ve met 2 walking my dogs, 1 through OLD. I've met women on the train, in bars, in shops and through online dating. I'm just a damn hero
.I rarely visit pubs these days & if I do I’m catching up with mates, not looking to meet women, same with cafes etc.
Before Covid supermarkets were a great place but no longer IME
jdw100 said:
1:How would I have met her..?.she has never used a dating app.
2:Look after yourself, be able to speak like a normal person, meet people.
3:I was either out with friends or on my own.
Think you're being a bit harsh and judgmental tbh, OLD is just another way to meet and as others have said it doesn't mean you don't take an opportunity when presented IRL.2:Look after yourself, be able to speak like a normal person, meet people.
3:I was either out with friends or on my own.
Counterpoint to 1: I've been with my g/f over 5 years now, living together for most of it. Our paths would likely never have crossed without OLD, even if they did the chances she was looking to chat with a guy are not 100% or I may have been chatting with mates and not noticed. It works both ways.
2: Easier said than done; I do those things but 'meet people'... what does that actually mean? Not everyone has confidence to wander into groups and start chatting to a woman they like the look of. I've had more than one woman tell me being approached by a lone guy in a pub comes off a bit odd, which is a bad place to start: YMMV. At least with OLD you can establish if there's some level of banter, shared humour & interests instead of wasting a while chatting to someone IRL, buying them drinks, spending money putting yourself in situations where you could meet someone. What I'm saying is some peoples lives are suited to OLD more than IRL, and of course the opposite applies to others.
3: Pretty much covered this, but if (eg) you're out for dinner with friends it's hardly conducive to taking yourself away for a bit to chat with random women. Out on your own, like I said I've been told by a few that it seems a bit odd. I met 2 women whilst alone during my single years (IRL), quite a few more whilst with groups. And waaaay more through OLD.
Have never used a dating site, have never needed to, not because i'm gods gift far from it but because through the course of life unless you are a complete hermit you will meet other people and sometimes things just click, maybe best not to be looking specifically.
As i see it the problem with specific dating apps/sites is that people are buying and selling so to speak, those looking to be successful there are on their best behaviour and on show is the packaging and performance they want you to see not necessarily the real person, not sure i'm phrasing this all that well but hopefully the message is getting across.
By meeting people in the normal course of life, we're seeing them in a more normal light not the person they spruced up and painted and decorated and hid the parts away they'd rather you didn't see.
It isn't the packaging, it's whats inside that counts, this applies to everyone.
This worked for me, during my work i had to visit an industrial sub site where one particular woman worked, could have been wary of this lady because a couple of my more greedy colleagues had crossed swords with her before, trying to cajole her regarding the product and wished afterwards they hadn't, she's Latin has a very short fuse and is afraid of nor intimidated by anyone.
I walked into the portacabin, our eyes met and i drowned in them, she has been the best thing to happen in my life and if anything happened to her i'd happily live my remaining years knowing i'd been one of the luckiest of men, utterly irreplaceable.
Oh that short fuse by the way, not once in our many years together has the explosion been directed at me, but mess with someone she loves especially her family you'll see it in all its glory, huge sense of justice and fair play as those who might try to bully the less able to defend themslves have also found to their cost.
I speak of her because you would never find her or her like on a dating site and would never know what she is unless she chose you to reveal herself.
There is a place for dating sites/apps, i'm just not sure that many will find the inner person they want to share their whole lives with that way.
As i see it the problem with specific dating apps/sites is that people are buying and selling so to speak, those looking to be successful there are on their best behaviour and on show is the packaging and performance they want you to see not necessarily the real person, not sure i'm phrasing this all that well but hopefully the message is getting across.
By meeting people in the normal course of life, we're seeing them in a more normal light not the person they spruced up and painted and decorated and hid the parts away they'd rather you didn't see.
It isn't the packaging, it's whats inside that counts, this applies to everyone.
This worked for me, during my work i had to visit an industrial sub site where one particular woman worked, could have been wary of this lady because a couple of my more greedy colleagues had crossed swords with her before, trying to cajole her regarding the product and wished afterwards they hadn't, she's Latin has a very short fuse and is afraid of nor intimidated by anyone.
I walked into the portacabin, our eyes met and i drowned in them, she has been the best thing to happen in my life and if anything happened to her i'd happily live my remaining years knowing i'd been one of the luckiest of men, utterly irreplaceable.
Oh that short fuse by the way, not once in our many years together has the explosion been directed at me, but mess with someone she loves especially her family you'll see it in all its glory, huge sense of justice and fair play as those who might try to bully the less able to defend themslves have also found to their cost.
I speak of her because you would never find her or her like on a dating site and would never know what she is unless she chose you to reveal herself.
There is a place for dating sites/apps, i'm just not sure that many will find the inner person they want to share their whole lives with that way.
Smint said:
Have never used a dating site, have never needed to, not because i'm gods gift far from it but because through the course of life unless you are a complete hermit you will meet other people and sometimes things just click, maybe best not to be looking specifically.
As i see it the problem with specific dating apps/sites is that people are buying and selling so to speak, those looking to be successful there are on their best behaviour and on show is the packaging and performance they want you to see not necessarily the real person, not sure i'm phrasing this all that well but hopefully the message is getting across.
By meeting people in the normal course of life, we're seeing them in a more normal light not the person they spruced up and painted and decorated and hid the parts away they'd rather you didn't see.
It isn't the packaging, it's whats inside that counts, this applies to everyone.
This worked for me, during my work i had to visit an industrial sub site where one particular woman worked, could have been wary of this lady because a couple of my more greedy colleagues had crossed swords with her before, trying to cajole her regarding the product and wished afterwards they hadn't, she's Latin has a very short fuse and is afraid of nor intimidated by anyone.
I walked into the portacabin, our eyes met and i drowned in them, she has been the best thing to happen in my life and if anything happened to her i'd happily live my remaining years knowing i'd been one of the luckiest of men, utterly irreplaceable.
Oh that short fuse by the way, not once in our many years together has the explosion been directed at me, but mess with someone she loves especially her family you'll see it in all its glory, huge sense of justice and fair play as those who might try to bully the less able to defend themslves have also found to their cost.
I speak of her because you would never find her or her like on a dating site and would never know what she is unless she chose you to reveal herself.
There is a place for dating sites/apps, i'm just not sure that many will find the inner person they want to share their whole lives with that way.
You say you've never used dating sites and would never find 'her like'.... whatever that means.....on a dating site.As i see it the problem with specific dating apps/sites is that people are buying and selling so to speak, those looking to be successful there are on their best behaviour and on show is the packaging and performance they want you to see not necessarily the real person, not sure i'm phrasing this all that well but hopefully the message is getting across.
By meeting people in the normal course of life, we're seeing them in a more normal light not the person they spruced up and painted and decorated and hid the parts away they'd rather you didn't see.
It isn't the packaging, it's whats inside that counts, this applies to everyone.
This worked for me, during my work i had to visit an industrial sub site where one particular woman worked, could have been wary of this lady because a couple of my more greedy colleagues had crossed swords with her before, trying to cajole her regarding the product and wished afterwards they hadn't, she's Latin has a very short fuse and is afraid of nor intimidated by anyone.
I walked into the portacabin, our eyes met and i drowned in them, she has been the best thing to happen in my life and if anything happened to her i'd happily live my remaining years knowing i'd been one of the luckiest of men, utterly irreplaceable.
Oh that short fuse by the way, not once in our many years together has the explosion been directed at me, but mess with someone she loves especially her family you'll see it in all its glory, huge sense of justice and fair play as those who might try to bully the less able to defend themslves have also found to their cost.
I speak of her because you would never find her or her like on a dating site and would never know what she is unless she chose you to reveal herself.
There is a place for dating sites/apps, i'm just not sure that many will find the inner person they want to share their whole lives with that way.
That's utter b
ks.If you've never used a site how could you possibly know !So many people miss the fact people on dating sites actually exist in the real world too, they're not all weird hermits
The problem with dating sites is a large percentage of the women on there are
1)Just doing it for attention and validation, they rarely if ever meet anyone from the site. These are the ones who no doubt have hundreds of messages they never even bother replying to.
2)Are looking for that top 5% man who is 6ft2, ripped, has a six figure income and an amazing house.
1)Just doing it for attention and validation, they rarely if ever meet anyone from the site. These are the ones who no doubt have hundreds of messages they never even bother replying to.
2)Are looking for that top 5% man who is 6ft2, ripped, has a six figure income and an amazing house.
The thing is 100% of the people you meet on OLD (if you exclude the fake and expired profiles) are looking to meet someone for a relationship. What is that figure IRL? 5%, 1%? Maybe less. Then filter out all those that are looking but are too young or too old or too fat or too short or whatever for you.
The chances of meeting someone right for you are far better with OLD than IRL, given an equal level of commitment to the process.
The chances of meeting someone right for you are far better with OLD than IRL, given an equal level of commitment to the process.
Silverage said:
The thing is 100% of the people you meet on OLD (if you exclude the fake and expired profiles) are looking to meet someone for a relationship. What is that figure IRL? 5%, 1%? Maybe less. Then filter out all those that are looking but are too young or too old or too fat or too short or whatever for you.
The chances of meeting someone right for you are far better with OLD than IRL, given an equal level of commitment to the process.
I don't know where you got that from but a lot of people are not looking for relationships OLD,at least in the younger age groups and particularly maleThe chances of meeting someone right for you are far better with OLD than IRL, given an equal level of commitment to the process.
Smint said:
through the course of life unless you are a complete hermit you will meet other people and sometimes things just click
Yeah some folks might not fancy waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Ergo they up the amount of people they meet with other methodsSmint said:
are on their best behaviour and on show is the packaging and performance they want you to see not necessarily the real person
So, just like meeting someone for the first time in real life then? And if you then move onto dating each other, applies even more. This point is cobblersSmint said:
By meeting people in the normal course of life
Not everyone works somewhere they can meet women, and some don't think it's a good idea; outside of work I don't know where else you could mean.Smint said:
I speak of her because you would never find her or her like on a dating site and would never know what she is unless she chose you to reveal herself.
Absolute bullst. How could you know this anyway? I rate my missus pretty fking highly, she's a special one. Met online, couldn't have met anywhere else.The way you describe your missus isn't especially flattering fwiw
Smint said:
There is a place for dating sites/apps, i'm just not sure that many will find the inner person they want to share their whole lives with that way.
Yeah we can see you're not sure, because you're talking horsest about something you know nothing about. There is absolutely no logic to what you've written; how does matter how you meet someone, if you click you click or should I say 'find the inner person they want to share their whole lives with' 
There is some nonsense spouted on here.
Why would you eschew the invention of OLD?! These days 90% of single people interested in dating will be on an app somewhere as well as being in that bar, workplace, supermarket or wherever else where your paths might just cross. As an earlier poster said, its not mutually exclusive.
Great to meet someone on a day or night out, but as has been said, you don't know if they are single, or whether they want an uninterrupted night with their pals, or whether they are visiting from the other side of the country etc etc etc. Likewise, your timing might not be great, you might be out with some old mates who you want to catch up with, or have an event you are due to head to etc. Great when it all works in real life, but to dismiss OLD due to some prejudice seems strange to me.
I did my fair share of both. OLD was plentiful and straight forward, but also fitted in to my schedule as and when I wanted. I had a lot of fun and wouldn't hesitate to recommend it to anyone. If nothing else, it was nice to line up 2 or 3 dates a week for some (usually) decent company and a chance to meet new people. Sometimes things clicked, sometimes they didn't. Likewise, was good to go on nights on the city with an eye out.
Why would you eschew the invention of OLD?! These days 90% of single people interested in dating will be on an app somewhere as well as being in that bar, workplace, supermarket or wherever else where your paths might just cross. As an earlier poster said, its not mutually exclusive.
Great to meet someone on a day or night out, but as has been said, you don't know if they are single, or whether they want an uninterrupted night with their pals, or whether they are visiting from the other side of the country etc etc etc. Likewise, your timing might not be great, you might be out with some old mates who you want to catch up with, or have an event you are due to head to etc. Great when it all works in real life, but to dismiss OLD due to some prejudice seems strange to me.
I did my fair share of both. OLD was plentiful and straight forward, but also fitted in to my schedule as and when I wanted. I had a lot of fun and wouldn't hesitate to recommend it to anyone. If nothing else, it was nice to line up 2 or 3 dates a week for some (usually) decent company and a chance to meet new people. Sometimes things clicked, sometimes they didn't. Likewise, was good to go on nights on the city with an eye out.
Some amount of rose tinted pish being spouted today 
I wonder if/when the amazing Mrs bins you off because you've gone a bit baldy and your tits are now bigger than hers you'll be having women throwing themselves at you in Tesco... you'd be trawling the dating sites quicker than you could say mid lie crisis.
I wonder if/when the amazing Mrs bins you off because you've gone a bit baldy and your tits are now bigger than hers you'll be having women throwing themselves at you in Tesco... you'd be trawling the dating sites quicker than you could say mid lie crisis.
technodup said:
Some amount of rose tinted pish being spouted today
I wonder if/when the amazing Mrs bins you off because you've gone a bit baldy and your tits are now bigger than hers you'll be having women throwing themselves at you in Tesco... you'd be trawling the dating sites quicker than you could say mid lie crisis.
I wonder if/when the amazing Mrs bins you off because you've gone a bit baldy and your tits are now bigger than hers you'll be having women throwing themselves at you in Tesco... you'd be trawling the dating sites quicker than you could say mid lie crisis.
technodup said:
Some amount of rose tinted pish being spouted today
I wonder if/when the amazing Mrs bins you off because you've gone a bit baldy and your tits are now bigger than hers you'll be having women throwing themselves at you in Tesco... you'd be trawling the dating sites quicker than you could say mid lie crisis.
I think good points have been made on both sides of the discussion.I wonder if/when the amazing Mrs bins you off because you've gone a bit baldy and your tits are now bigger than hers you'll be having women throwing themselves at you in Tesco... you'd be trawling the dating sites quicker than you could say mid lie crisis.
Re above though - I split with my partner of 14 years. Have been shaving my head since 40.
No need to touch a dating site.
Don’t be overweight. Dress well, but not too showy. Have some decent stories.
Have a non-threatening way of starting a discussion. Natural. The way you would like to be approached by a stranger.
Met my wife as she had a friend who owned a restaurant; it was quiet. Another friend of her’s in the group is a DJ..she put some music on. I asked if I could also, we traded tracks back and forth for a few hours. Good laugh and a joke. Got wife’s number and called her next day.
Another prior to my wife - in a cafe: she was clearly hungover…”big night then was it?’
One at the top of a volcano. Hard not to start a conversation.
London: I have loads of female friend who are single. Fed up with wasting time on these apps.
I’ve had good success for them by working a bar with them…making introductions. One is now married to a senior airforce chap..’hi, having a good night? I’m out with my friend here…’
Seriously though for them: guy won’t stop talking about his job, I’m 6’ tall..nope actually 5’2” or something. Loads of exaggerations or outright lies, photos that are five years or more old. Diving/hang-gliding/racing photos: done it once.
If you meet in person: well you both know what you look like.
For me it’s just the time element. I know people spend hours on this stuff. Its like people who watch hours of TV a week.
I remain unconvinced but I guess it’s whatever works for you!
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