Match.com (Vol. 7)
Discussion
The spinner of plates said:
Yikes!! ^^
What a horribly structured set of words if quoted out of context.
Yeah editted that...I knew what I meant, presented it apallingly.What a horribly structured set of words if quoted out of context.
I will also quantify the 600+ likes/messages.
The overwhelming majority of these were on Bumble as it's the first one I joined. I figured out after a while that the ladies I was swiping right on were most likely not even being notified unless they had their search settings set at a level that included my height - so it was the height thing that was blocking any progress on that site.
I get a far higher response rate on Match.com and Hinge as at least on those two platforms your like/swipe/message is shown to the other person irrespective of their search setings.
So don't join Bumble unless you're a minimum 5'10" preferably 6'0"+ then you'll get plenty of action. Shorties look elsewhere.
Edited by 21ATS on Friday 17th June 13:43
Vincent-Vega said:
There is some swearing contained in this clip, but it is very funny and relevant to this thread.
Any issues at all and I'm happy to delete it.
Spot on, why do you think beautiful women as they get older get so depressed and will butcher their faces in an attempt to stay attractive. Being good looking must be the most amazing thing possible, winning at life's lottery gene pool will mean a much easier life and everyone is nice to you.Any issues at all and I'm happy to delete it.
It just reminds me of the rules to be successful at online dating
1)Be good looking
2)Don't be ugly
You can add being over 6ft as well
Women in their 20s with youth and looks on their side have the dating market massively skewed in their favour, and even a woman who is a 6 can at least temporarily get with an 8 if she is all tarted up. Going the other way there is no way a man who is a 6 is ever going to get with an 8 unless he is very wealthy.
As they age and lose their youth and looks things change and the sort men they could potentially get when they were younger are out the question now, and they can only really get with guys at their own level looks wise. Personally when I am out and about 6 is the lowest score looks wise that I notice, anyone below that might as well be invisible. This is what they struggle to understand, as they get older they cannot get the level of men they used to be able to pickup.
So we end up with 5 on online dating thinking they are going to be able to get a man who ticks all the 6s. Never going to happen
From a female perspective, I honestly don't get the hang-up on height. Granted, I'm 5 ft 2, so pretty much everyone is taller than me... when I was dipping my toe into OLD, I had a couple of dates with one guy who was the same height as me - I felt taller than him because I'm not used to it, but it wasn't something that bothered me. From memory, I set my search range on Match from my height to around 6 ft 2, more from the fact I had to put something.
The irony is that the bloke I've been dating for just over a year and a half had more against him if I was sticking to my wants: young kid (I'd done that once already), smokes, mature student (at the time), bald and a lanky 6 ft 4, and he had absolutely nothing written on his profile. The thing that made me give him the benefit of the doubt was a specific and genuine conversation starter regarding one of my profile pictures - which was deliberately the last photo on there, and was one I had taken, rather than being [b]of[/f] me.
In some way, OLD may be a numbers game, but if you're sending (and I'm guessing copy and pasting) hundreds of messages, I can only tell you that they're obvious and it shows you have zero actual interest in that person and are just fishing.
The irony is that the bloke I've been dating for just over a year and a half had more against him if I was sticking to my wants: young kid (I'd done that once already), smokes, mature student (at the time), bald and a lanky 6 ft 4, and he had absolutely nothing written on his profile. The thing that made me give him the benefit of the doubt was a specific and genuine conversation starter regarding one of my profile pictures - which was deliberately the last photo on there, and was one I had taken, rather than being [b]of[/f] me.
In some way, OLD may be a numbers game, but if you're sending (and I'm guessing copy and pasting) hundreds of messages, I can only tell you that they're obvious and it shows you have zero actual interest in that person and are just fishing.
cherie171 said:
From a female perspective, I honestly don't get the hang-up on height. Granted, I'm 5 ft 2, so pretty much everyone is taller than me... when I was dipping my toe into OLD, I had a couple of dates with one guy who was the same height as me - I felt taller than him because I'm not used to it, but it wasn't something that bothered me. From memory, I set my search range on Match from my height to around 6 ft 2, more from the fact I had to put something.
The irony is that the bloke I've been dating for just over a year and a half had more against him if I was sticking to my wants: young kid (I'd done that once already), smokes, mature student (at the time), bald and a lanky 6 ft 4, and he had absolutely nothing written on his profile. The thing that made me give him the benefit of the doubt was a specific and genuine conversation starter regarding one of my profile pictures - which was deliberately the last photo on there, and was one I had taken, rather than being [b]of[/f] me.
In some way, OLD may be a numbers game, but if you're sending (and I'm guessing copy and pasting) hundreds of messages, I can only tell you that they're obvious and it shows you have zero actual interest in that person and are just fishing.
Hang on hang on.. The irony is that the bloke I've been dating for just over a year and a half had more against him if I was sticking to my wants: young kid (I'd done that once already), smokes, mature student (at the time), bald and a lanky 6 ft 4, and he had absolutely nothing written on his profile. The thing that made me give him the benefit of the doubt was a specific and genuine conversation starter regarding one of my profile pictures - which was deliberately the last photo on there, and was one I had taken, rather than being [b]of[/f] me.
In some way, OLD may be a numbers game, but if you're sending (and I'm guessing copy and pasting) hundreds of messages, I can only tell you that they're obvious and it shows you have zero actual interest in that person and are just fishing.
From a female perspective you’re saying that “Hey, nice eyes’” isn’t an attention-grabbing, unique, friendly-yet-flirty opening message that’s bound to get a reply??
Jeez
21ATS said:
3 matches this week, two liked me that I then liked back (one on Hinge one on Match)
One I liked first. (Hinge)
Bumble I may as well not bother with.
The two that liked me - two messages in then nothing
The one I liked first still chatting - right up to the point my baggage was revealed, so far radio silence. Lets see if I hear any more.
One thing I am being surprised by is the number of ladies in their 50's with pre teen kids. I wasn't expecting 6,7 & 8 year olds to be in the picture at my age.
So over the last month I figure I've sent out around 600+ likes/messages across the platforms I'm on. Average 20 a day, some days more some days less. Response is around 2% so it's just a numbers game.
It would be interesting to know how many of these accounts are dormant. Something you can see on Match (by the last day visited) but Hinge and Bumble you get no info whatsoever.
Is that 20 swipes as in ‘likes’ - or more than that. 2% is a low strike rate and 3 matches after all that is low too. If you have the time to do all of that I’d suggest spending the time instead of sprucing up your profile and the way you approach things. Having lots of irons in the fire can quickly backfire. One I liked first. (Hinge)
Bumble I may as well not bother with.
The two that liked me - two messages in then nothing
The one I liked first still chatting - right up to the point my baggage was revealed, so far radio silence. Lets see if I hear any more.
One thing I am being surprised by is the number of ladies in their 50's with pre teen kids. I wasn't expecting 6,7 & 8 year olds to be in the picture at my age.
So over the last month I figure I've sent out around 600+ likes/messages across the platforms I'm on. Average 20 a day, some days more some days less. Response is around 2% so it's just a numbers game.
It would be interesting to know how many of these accounts are dormant. Something you can see on Match (by the last day visited) but Hinge and Bumble you get no info whatsoever.
Edited by 21ATS on Friday 17th June 13:09
From a male perspective, try looking at women’s profiles and the expectations of height are incredible. I’m 6’2” and I dread to think what my already limited dating opportunities would be like at 5’9” – I don’t think I would see any interest at all.
The “must make me laugh” line is extremely tiresome. As above, what am I? The entertainments officer in your life? Why not make it obvious in your profile that you can make me laugh?
As above, the 2% strike rate is about right
I joined Match (again) at the beginning of 2021 hoping to get all the keen “New Year’s resolution” crowd. I paid my subs (ouch) and was on for a month. I had 113 views, 2 likes and no messages. The profile had no exaggerations on it at all. I dropped off until the cheap subs offer at £4:99/month came through 3 weeks later, just like it always does. I decided to have a laugh and sign up again, but this time I googled “Handsome mature man” and downloaded a picture of someone who looked plenty good enough but not outrageously so.
22 days later- I had more than 450+ views - I just couldn’t be arsed scrolling that far down the page, in reality 600? 117 likes, and 35 messages. They were mad keen, although some were that excited they couldn’t spell a single word correctly on their message. 10 could only write “hi” a pet peeve of mine. After a number of messages, where it was obvious they hadn’t read the profile, I put on the profile “if you message and prove you have the profile I’ll respond” I still got “hi”.
What got me was how forward some of the women were including 2 stunning women who wrote “going out for a meal is tricky now due to lockdown, so why don’t you come round to mine for dinner, and you can stay the night” How forward is that? I was gobsmacked – its a different world….
The “must make me laugh” line is extremely tiresome. As above, what am I? The entertainments officer in your life? Why not make it obvious in your profile that you can make me laugh?
As above, the 2% strike rate is about right
I joined Match (again) at the beginning of 2021 hoping to get all the keen “New Year’s resolution” crowd. I paid my subs (ouch) and was on for a month. I had 113 views, 2 likes and no messages. The profile had no exaggerations on it at all. I dropped off until the cheap subs offer at £4:99/month came through 3 weeks later, just like it always does. I decided to have a laugh and sign up again, but this time I googled “Handsome mature man” and downloaded a picture of someone who looked plenty good enough but not outrageously so.
22 days later- I had more than 450+ views - I just couldn’t be arsed scrolling that far down the page, in reality 600? 117 likes, and 35 messages. They were mad keen, although some were that excited they couldn’t spell a single word correctly on their message. 10 could only write “hi” a pet peeve of mine. After a number of messages, where it was obvious they hadn’t read the profile, I put on the profile “if you message and prove you have the profile I’ll respond” I still got “hi”.
What got me was how forward some of the women were including 2 stunning women who wrote “going out for a meal is tricky now due to lockdown, so why don’t you come round to mine for dinner, and you can stay the night” How forward is that? I was gobsmacked – its a different world….
Petrus1983 said:
Is that 20 swipes as in ‘likes’ - or more than that. 2% is a low strike rate and 3 matches after all that is low too. If you have the time to do all of that I’d suggest spending the time instead of sprucing up your profile and the way you approach things. Having lots of irons in the fire can quickly backfire.
Most were on Bumble, where it really is only a swipe and no other option. But like I said, I figured out I wasn't appearing to most of the people I swiped on unless I hit their specific criteria. Much higher hit rate on Match and Hinge. In fact Hinge seems to be the best one.After a while I figured out how to filter the profiles to remove the ones that are no longer active (on match), which on my searches actually turned out to be about 80% of them. SO no surprise I wasn't gettng responses from dormant accounts.
3 matches is this week. Over the month I've had about 12. Half of which managed no more than one message before not responding.
Actually have two conversations going right now, one from Match, one from Hinge.
Strangely though, the one date I have had so far was Bumble, a new joiner who I swiped on before she'd set her search parameters.
Edited by 21ATS on Friday 17th June 16:01
cherie171 said:
From a female perspective, I honestly don't get the hang-up on height. Granted, I'm 5 ft 2, so pretty much everyone is taller than me... when I was dipping my toe into OLD, I had a couple of dates with one guy who was the same height as me - I felt taller than him because I'm not used to it, but it wasn't something that bothered me. From memory, I set my search range on Match from my height to around 6 ft 2, more from the fact I had to put something.
The irony is that the bloke I've been dating for just over a year and a half had more against him if I was sticking to my wants: young kid (I'd done that once already), smokes, mature student (at the time), bald and a lanky 6 ft 4, and he had absolutely nothing written on his profile. The thing that made me give him the benefit of the doubt was a specific and genuine conversation starter regarding one of my profile pictures - which was deliberately the last photo on there, and was one I had taken, rather than being [b]of[/f] me.
In some way, OLD may be a numbers game, but if you're sending (and I'm guessing copy and pasting) hundreds of messages, I can only tell you that they're obvious and it shows you have zero actual interest in that person and are just fishing.
Most swipes are bumble, where that's the only option. Under 6'? - that's a waste of time.The irony is that the bloke I've been dating for just over a year and a half had more against him if I was sticking to my wants: young kid (I'd done that once already), smokes, mature student (at the time), bald and a lanky 6 ft 4, and he had absolutely nothing written on his profile. The thing that made me give him the benefit of the doubt was a specific and genuine conversation starter regarding one of my profile pictures - which was deliberately the last photo on there, and was one I had taken, rather than being [b]of[/f] me.
In some way, OLD may be a numbers game, but if you're sending (and I'm guessing copy and pasting) hundreds of messages, I can only tell you that they're obvious and it shows you have zero actual interest in that person and are just fishing.
On Hinge I write a bespoke comment on each like and put some thought into it.
Match is a bit of both.
Trust me, the height thing really is a thing. The number of profiles stating "you must be tall" or "please be over 5'10" if you're going to message" makes it very clear.
t and men are crap “ profile lol 21ATS said:
Most were on Bumble, where it really is only a swipe and no other option. But like I said, I figured out I wasn't appearing to most of the people I swiped on unless I hit their specific criteria. Much higher hit rate on Match and Hinge. In fact Hinge seems to be the best one.
After a while I figured out how to filter the profiles to remove the ones that are no longer active (on match), which on my searches actually turned out to be about 80% of them. SO no surprise I wasn't gettng responses from dormant accounts.
3 matches is this week. Over the month I've had about 12. Half of which managed no more than one message before not responding.
Actually have two conversations going right now, one from Match, one from Hinge.
Strangely though, the one date I have had so far was Bumble, a new joiner who I swiped on before she'd set her search parameters.
Big muscles, smells of pine and Bostick?After a while I figured out how to filter the profiles to remove the ones that are no longer active (on match), which on my searches actually turned out to be about 80% of them. SO no surprise I wasn't gettng responses from dormant accounts.
3 matches is this week. Over the month I've had about 12. Half of which managed no more than one message before not responding.
Actually have two conversations going right now, one from Match, one from Hinge.
Strangely though, the one date I have had so far was Bumble, a new joiner who I swiped on before she'd set her search parameters.
Edited by 21ATS on Friday 17th June 16:01
SpeckledJim said:
21ATS said:
Most were on Bumble, where it really is only a swipe and no other option. But like I said, I figured out I wasn't appearing to most of the people I swiped on unless I hit their specific criteria. Much higher hit rate on Match and Hinge. In fact Hinge seems to be the best one.
After a while I figured out how to filter the profiles to remove the ones that are no longer active (on match), which on my searches actually turned out to be about 80% of them. SO no surprise I wasn't gettng responses from dormant accounts.
3 matches is this week. Over the month I've had about 12. Half of which managed no more than one message before not responding.
Actually have two conversations going right now, one from Match, one from Hinge.
Strangely though, the one date I have had so far was Bumble, a new joiner who I swiped on before she'd set her search parameters.
Big muscles, smells of pine and Bostick?After a while I figured out how to filter the profiles to remove the ones that are no longer active (on match), which on my searches actually turned out to be about 80% of them. SO no surprise I wasn't gettng responses from dormant accounts.
3 matches is this week. Over the month I've had about 12. Half of which managed no more than one message before not responding.
Actually have two conversations going right now, one from Match, one from Hinge.
Strangely though, the one date I have had so far was Bumble, a new joiner who I swiped on before she'd set her search parameters.
Edited by 21ATS on Friday 17th June 16:01
21ATS said:
SpeckledJim said:
21ATS said:
Most were on Bumble, where it really is only a swipe and no other option. But like I said, I figured out I wasn't appearing to most of the people I swiped on unless I hit their specific criteria. Much higher hit rate on Match and Hinge. In fact Hinge seems to be the best one.
After a while I figured out how to filter the profiles to remove the ones that are no longer active (on match), which on my searches actually turned out to be about 80% of them. SO no surprise I wasn't gettng responses from dormant accounts.
3 matches is this week. Over the month I've had about 12. Half of which managed no more than one message before not responding.
Actually have two conversations going right now, one from Match, one from Hinge.
Strangely though, the one date I have had so far was Bumble, a new joiner who I swiped on before she'd set her search parameters.
Big muscles, smells of pine and Bostick?After a while I figured out how to filter the profiles to remove the ones that are no longer active (on match), which on my searches actually turned out to be about 80% of them. SO no surprise I wasn't gettng responses from dormant accounts.
3 matches is this week. Over the month I've had about 12. Half of which managed no more than one message before not responding.
Actually have two conversations going right now, one from Match, one from Hinge.
Strangely though, the one date I have had so far was Bumble, a new joiner who I swiped on before she'd set her search parameters.
Edited by 21ATS on Friday 17th June 16:01
SpeckledJim said:
21ATS said:
SpeckledJim said:
21ATS said:
Most were on Bumble, where it really is only a swipe and no other option. But like I said, I figured out I wasn't appearing to most of the people I swiped on unless I hit their specific criteria. Much higher hit rate on Match and Hinge. In fact Hinge seems to be the best one.
After a while I figured out how to filter the profiles to remove the ones that are no longer active (on match), which on my searches actually turned out to be about 80% of them. SO no surprise I wasn't gettng responses from dormant accounts.
3 matches is this week. Over the month I've had about 12. Half of which managed no more than one message before not responding.
Actually have two conversations going right now, one from Match, one from Hinge.
Strangely though, the one date I have had so far was Bumble, a new joiner who I swiped on before she'd set her search parameters.
Big muscles, smells of pine and Bostick?After a while I figured out how to filter the profiles to remove the ones that are no longer active (on match), which on my searches actually turned out to be about 80% of them. SO no surprise I wasn't gettng responses from dormant accounts.
3 matches is this week. Over the month I've had about 12. Half of which managed no more than one message before not responding.
Actually have two conversations going right now, one from Match, one from Hinge.
Strangely though, the one date I have had so far was Bumble, a new joiner who I swiped on before she'd set her search parameters.
Edited by 21ATS on Friday 17th June 16:01
She was lovely, we hit it off, great evening. She couldn't deal with my baggage so that was that.PAUL.S. said:
Llew said:
This thread is hilarious, some of you lot are the most chauvinistic blokes I've ever witnessed first hand...!
Tell us all about your own experience of OLD then LlewEdited by PAUL.S. on Friday 17th June 21:02
But my only contribution will be, Llew, if you have nothing nice to say....please don't be a d1ck
Swampy1982 said:
PAUL.S. said:
Llew said:
This thread is hilarious, some of you lot are the most chauvinistic blokes I've ever witnessed first hand...!
Tell us all about your own experience of OLD then LlewEdited by PAUL.S. on Friday 17th June 21:02
But my only contribution will be, Llew, if you have nothing nice to say....please don't be a d1ck
However when you actually dip your toe in the water, then most of it is scarily accurate, it is a whole new world of weirdness, as it is no where near representative of the singles out there in the real world, but a strong concentration instead of those you would avoid like the plague if you knew them for real, often hidden behind a seemingly normal profile. You really need the skills of Poirot or Sherlock to get behind the facade and wheedle out the ultra rare normal people, who often only ever last a day or so before running to the hills screaming, never to return!
If there were a practical, viable alternative, the process would simply wither and die. it exists and thrives because there are none. for either side of the dating fence, its not just the men going through all this.
It does seem to be a bit of a parallel universe out there and (thankfully) one I've never experienced first hand. It's interesting to hear about some of the traits women 'demand' e.g. over 6' tall, ability to make her laugh etc. What attributes do you explicitly express in your profiles as being required or will not compromise on when it comes to the ladies?
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