Dating again when you aren't all that...
Discussion
WinstonWolf said:
I asked my Mrs what she first liked about me, "your broad back" was the answer.
If you're in good shape you feel better about yourself which is appealing to most women.
There's plenty of men with broad backs and beer bellies.If you're in good shape you feel better about yourself which is appealing to most women.
Yes,many people have a type,that can be thin,well built,tall,short,blonde, brunette etc.
You can't cater for all of them.
They say you need to love yourself before others can love you which I agree with to a degree.
So far as the OP is considered I fear internet dating would kill any self belief he has left, it's an incredibly harsh world.
He'd be better off meeting people just by doing stuff in the real world.....as would most of us !
Council Baby said:
Forget dating, it’s expensive, soul destroying and if you’re not all that to look at, really f
king difficult to get anything over a 4/10.
Hookers are fixed price, don’t moan at you and fk off afterwards so you can play with cars.
You can have multiple hookers and keep your balls, you can’t say the same about girlfriends.
So why do you keep going for 4/10 hookers?king difficult to get anything over a 4/10.Hookers are fixed price, don’t moan at you and f
k off afterwards so you can play with cars.You can have multiple hookers and keep your balls, you can’t say the same about girlfriends.
Lemming Train said:
TheJimi said:
OP, please don't do this ^^
Some thoughts of mine, in no particular order, and to repeat some thoughts that have already been given –
If you have self-esteem issues, whether borne of the physical or mental – do not use online dating / dating apps.
Start training and lifting weights, with decent nutrition. It cannot be overstated the net positive effect that will have on your life. Plus, you’ll naturally develop friends, both male and female in the gym.
To follow on from that, make sure you look good naked. Being in good physical shape REALLY boosts things, both from the perspective of others, and in terms of your own self-esteem. If you can’t easily, if at all, fix the other stuff like the skin condition, focus on the stuff you CAN fix.
How do you dress? Do you wear well fitting clothes? Or do you just chuck on whatever? If the latter, this is a BIG easy win. Wearing clothes that suit you, and are well fitted, make a HUGE difference to how you look to other people, and how you feel about yourself.
I didn’t say it was going to be easily done.
6 months with commitment could see big and tangible changes.
I know it’s easier said than done. I’ve done it myself, albeit from the opposite end of the scale.
I also had big self-esteem issues, particularly with girls teasing me as a teenager for being skinny, so walking into a gym REALLY wasn’t easy for me. At all.
Also, why talk about the idea being a non starter when the OP hasn't even responded to the idea? He talks about low esteem of his looks primarily from the perspective of a romantic engagement, not necessarily everyday life.
The OP doesn't need vicarious negativity.
Edited by TheJimi on Tuesday 27th August 15:48
TheJimi said:
Some points -
The OP doesn't need vicarious negativity.
It wasn't meant to come across as negativity, it was more a dose of realism. As I said above, I fully agree with you on the rest of the points in your OP, especially on the 'feeling good about/in yourself' bit as I'm currently experiencing that myself having recently shed a third of my weight. The confidence boost it gives you can't easily be put into words and also being able to wear clothes that are comfortable and fit properly. - I didn’t say it was going to be easily done.
- 6 months with commitment could see big and tangible changes.
- I know it’s easier said than done. I’ve done it myself, albeit from the opposite end of the scale.
- I also had big self-esteem issues, particularly with girls teasing me as a teenager for being skinny, so walking into a gym REALLY wasn’t easy for me. At all.
The OP doesn't need vicarious negativity.
PAULJ5555 said:
The blokes tell me this, I have lived with/dated British girls for 20-30 years, they are spoiled, fat, selfish, loud mouthed, horrible people when you look inside. The Thai girlfriends are appreciative of everything as mostly they came from nothing a shack/hut in some cases.
I feel like anyone with this twisted a view on women should be looking at themselves a little more than others if they want to know where the problem lies.El stovey said:
Can you become rich or famous?
Check out what people like trump or F1s Bernie or Paul Daniels have managed? Or if you’re not rich or famous maybe go somewhere where you’re relatively rich like Southeast Asia, loads of British blokes have one well there plus the weather and food is great?
Some very, very beautiful Chinese girls.Check out what people like trump or F1s Bernie or Paul Daniels have managed? Or if you’re not rich or famous maybe go somewhere where you’re relatively rich like Southeast Asia, loads of British blokes have one well there plus the weather and food is great?
Davos123 said:
PAULJ5555 said:
The blokes tell me this, I have lived with/dated British girls for 20-30 years, they are spoiled, fat, selfish, loud mouthed, horrible people when you look inside. The Thai girlfriends are appreciative of everything as mostly they came from nothing a shack/hut in some cases.
I feel like anyone with this twisted a view on women should be looking at themselves a little more than others if they want to know where the problem lies.TheJimi said:
OP, where in the country are you?
If you fancy training, and don't feel up to the gym for the first time on your own, I'll come with you.
Even if you're at the other side of country, I'll come.
Wow mate, that's really kind of you. I've joined a gym and am feeling reasonably confident about getting back in there again so should be okay in that respect (was gym mad some time ago, so just a case of getting myself back in to a routine).If you fancy training, and don't feel up to the gym for the first time on your own, I'll come with you.
Even if you're at the other side of country, I'll come.
Thanks to everyone else as well, genuinely is a case of loving the person you are, and I can see that clearly now, I was looking for someone to give me validation when I should look at what ive accomplished, what I have going for me, and emphasise that strongly, which feeling a little less under it now I genuinely feel I can do.
Been really useful getting advise and support here, so thank you , I'm not out of the woods but at least I can set a direction and start walking.
Worth noting, no amount of exercise will make a difference if your diet is crap.
I put on weight training for my first marathon because I thought I could eat what I wanted of I ran 50 miles per week.
Any runner will tell you: You can't outrun a bad diet. MyFitnessPal app is great for getting your head in the right place with regards to diet.
I put on weight training for my first marathon because I thought I could eat what I wanted of I ran 50 miles per week.
Any runner will tell you: You can't outrun a bad diet. MyFitnessPal app is great for getting your head in the right place with regards to diet.
Randy Winkman said:
Davos123 said:
PAULJ5555 said:
The blokes tell me this, I have lived with/dated British girls for 20-30 years, they are spoiled, fat, selfish, loud mouthed, horrible people when you look inside. The Thai girlfriends are appreciative of everything as mostly they came from nothing a shack/hut in some cases.
I feel like anyone with this twisted a view on women should be looking at themselves a little more than others if they want to know where the problem lies.My own observation is that women from more socially conservative cultures are more content with traditional gender stereotypes and roles, consider feminism insulting, and generally lack any sense of automatic entitlement.
My wife is Serbian and, when asked to generalise British women, will say they are generally more fat, less caring of appearance and lazy/entitled. A sweeping generalisation of course, but it’s based on her unbiased observations here, and unlike a Brit she will generally say what she thinks without being apologetic. I’ve pointed out that men are equally fat , uncaring of appearance etc and she just replies that that’s men in general.
An Italian au pair I knew a few years ago expressed the opinion that in all the British households she had entered, she generally thought the men were good husbands and fathers who would help her manage the house and kids whilst the lazy wife sat playing with a phone or went clothes shopping. She was really strongly opinionated about this and demanded to know what was wrong with these women.
A Romanian I dated expressed similar impressions having spent a few years here. Etc etc.
Edited by theboss on Thursday 29th August 11:48
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