Caught GF on POF.

[Humble Pi]

Bin her, the intent to cheat was there, trust is lost.

[Mort7]

Don't bring this on here - you'll get conflicting advice, some of which may be damaging and counterproductive. You need professional counselling if you can't sort this out yourselves.

[CS Garth]

I think you owe it to yourselves and your children to try and make this work.

Put yourself in her shoes. She’s basically existing to look after very demanding small children. I appreciate you work all day but it is very different to the constant demands kids place on you and this can erode the feeling of self worth for a mother.

She had a night out? This was probably a massive thing for her if she had been cooped up with children and it sounds like it took her back to life pre kids and you and she stupidly got carried away. Humans err and we all make mistakes - I think forgiveness is a sign of strength not weakness.

She is clearly repentant - that’s a positive start. However sexual urges for women are more an expression of emotional desire than for men - and being candid it sounds like you just want to get your pods off and this is probably reinforcing her view that she is a thing not a person.

Start to show an interest in her. Take her and the children out at the weekend, send her a card from your son/daughter thanking her for being an ace mum, get a baby sitter and take her out for a meal or other activity you enjoy.

Once you start doing this I think you’ll find that her and your family life will improve significantly (and you’ll probably get your pods off more to ??)

[Fastchas]

Humble Pi said:

Bin her, the intent to cheat was there, trust is lost.

This. She has already cheated on you, just not physically.

You may be as much to blame though. As another poster pointed out, it sounds like you just want to get your 'dick wet' every now & then and think that is what a relationship is all about.

[alorotom]

Nickbrapp said:

Have you tried a open relationship or bit of swinging? Humans aren’t programmed to be monogamous.

Can’t believe how long for this to be suggested!! This place is slipping!

[Brads67]

VTECMFR said:

It's over move on, plenty more out there. Once a relationship gets to this point it's almost always unrecoverable.
Just make sure you are always amicable for your children.

What a load of crap.

Plenty marriages, relationships, come back from a lot worse. It just seems people are too lazy to want to do anything about it.

I will say, if you asked her to get "your dick wet" you deserve everything you get.

[Mr Whippy]

Brads67 said:

VTECMFR said:

It's over move on, plenty more out there. Once a relationship gets to this point it's almost always unrecoverable.
Just make sure you are always amicable for your children.

What a load of crap.

Plenty marriages, relationships, come back from a lot worse. It just seems people are too lazy to want to do anything about it.

I will say, if you asked her to get "your dick wet" you deserve everything you get.

I agree, the language is pretty disrespectful.

I think the OP won’t have much luck with women if he talks about them like this on a public forum.

[Dagnir]

MH82 said:

Looks to me like you are looking for a sexual partner rather than a girlfriend and she is probably picking up on this. Re-read your posts and I think you will see what i mean.

I thought this.

We could both be completely wrong but it seems like the efforts you make is essentially trying it on with her?

It came accross like you were pressureing her a bit and a bit sleazy.

[Thales]

She was trying to monkey branch. You need to get out of this ASAP - it'll only happen again.

[welshjon81]

Mr Whippy said:

Brads67 said:

VTECMFR said:

It's over move on, plenty more out there. Once a relationship gets to this point it's almost always unrecoverable.
Just make sure you are always amicable for your children.

What a load of crap.

Plenty marriages, relationships, come back from a lot worse. It just seems people are too lazy to want to do anything about it.

I will say, if you asked her to get "your dick wet" you deserve everything you get.

I agree, the language is pretty disrespectful.

I think the OP won’t have much luck with women if he talks about them like this on a public forum.

Jesus Christ. This is a place where men come to chat, get a grip.

[ApOrbital]

Did you get any fish n chips?

[rfisher]

Pics man, pics.

FFS this place has lost its direction.

Focus people.

[Sheets Tabuer]

Total Drivin said:

Thanks for the replies. I do feel it was a genuine mistake on her side she should have never done it but on the other hand I could of been a better partner..

Forgetting the milk is a mistake.

It's already over, in her head anyway.

My advice isn't great and I wouldn't follow it if I were you but it's done, gone and over, don't ask why you'll never get a reason. Just concentrate on whats going on inside you and don't worry about the why or hows, you're a passenger in all this now.

Oh and don't blame yourself, she'd have been balls deep if she hadn't been caught.

[Megaflow]

For those of us not down with the kids, POF profile?

[designforlife]

Megaflow said:

For those of us not down with the kids, POF profile?

Plenty of Fish, an online dating site which is as old as the hills.

[Drew106]

welshjon81 said:

Mr Whippy said:

Brads67 said:

VTECMFR said:

It's over move on, plenty more out there. Once a relationship gets to this point it's almost always unrecoverable.
Just make sure you are always amicable for your children.

What a load of crap.

Plenty marriages, relationships, come back from a lot worse. It just seems people are too lazy to want to do anything about it.

I will say, if you asked her to get "your dick wet" you deserve everything you get.

I agree, the language is pretty disrespectful.

I think the OP won’t have much luck with women if he talks about them like this on a public forum.

Jesus Christ. This is a place where men come to chat, get a grip.

I know WTF. When did PH become a forum for White Knights?

[amare32]

She is already getting pumped by another dude(s) so press the ejector button IMO.

Even if you both 'sort things out' it'll only be a temporary solution. Sooner or later it'll revert back to normal.

[XJSJohn]

designforlife said:

Megaflow said:

For those of us not down with the kids, POF profile?

Plenty of Fish, an online dating site which is as old as the hills.

Glad it wasnt just me wondering WTF is POF.

[Megaflow]

designforlife said:

Megaflow said:

For those of us not down with the kids, POF profile?

Plenty of Fish, an online dating site which is as old as the hills.

I have heard of Plenty of Fish when it is put like that. But, I had forgotten about them, they are still going...

[Funky Squirrel]

Hard to explain but from my experience guys get frustrated by large things like finding her on a dating site, but with woman it seems to be a thousand little cuts that guys miss until it is too late.
As above posters said little things matter. Organising a babysitter and surprising her with a date night, giving her little gifts often, helping her more with kids/ house duties etc shows you care. I think us guys do care but are just bad at showing it to women in a way they understand.