I think my girlfriend is a *****

I think my girlfriend is a *****

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Discussion

crofty1984

13,523 posts

152 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
For Christmas Day we try to alternate it, one year at my parents (with brother and sister in law) the other we just go away, even if it's nowhere exotic, just the two of us. Her parents have banned us from going there. As a mercy, it's always angry and awful apparently.
One year we bent over backwards to fit round my family and it all backfired (mainly my fault for poor planning).
It works for us, I'm big on the traditional Christmas with the family, my Mrs isn't, so the alternating thing is fair.
Interesting reading about the slight Asperger's thing someone wrote above. Reminds me of my Mrs a bit when plans change last minute or there's chaos.

PositronicRay

17,037 posts

131 months

Sunday 17th November
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xx99xx said:
I think unless your Mrs has OCD, Asperger's, autism etc then she is being unreasonable. A slight delay to meal time shouldn't bother most people. Therefore there is more to it that she isn't telling. If you genuinely liked someone then you wouldn't mind if they came round to see you, even at short notice.
I think there's something to this. Mrs PR is a bit of a control freak, stuff has to planned, deviations are stressful. She'd rather abandon than be flexible.

She may be on the spectrum.


Skyedriver

8,803 posts

230 months

Sunday 17th November
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Borrowing this quote

hotchy said:
.

I do miss simple Christmas as a kid. Open presents, get excited, play all day and get some food then go back to your brand new hoop and stick. Good times.

borcy

827 posts

4 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
crofty1984 said:
For Christmas Day we try to alternate it, one year at my parents (with brother and sister in law) the other we just go away, even if it's nowhere exotic, just the two of us. Her parents have banned us from going there. As a mercy, it's always angry and awful apparently.
One year we bent over backwards to fit round my family and it all backfired (mainly my fault for poor planning).
It works for us, I'm big on the traditional Christmas with the family, my Mrs isn't, so the alternating thing is fair.
Interesting reading about the slight Asperger's thing someone wrote above. Reminds me of my Mrs a bit when plans change last minute or there's chaos.
How come you're banned from the in laws?

LosingGrip

5,322 posts

107 months

Sunday 17th November
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Wacky Racer said:
Don't you love all this drama about Christmas dinner every yea?r...rolleyes

It's a meal ffs! I'm happy with beans on toast.

Your partner is being unreasonable btw.
I'm glad I'm working it! Xmas day and boxing day. Double time is even nicer as well!

scrubchub

Original Poster:

879 posts

88 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
Change of plan - I've cancelled the Christmas get together. Just a pain in the arse. Said that there wouldn't be room for everyone. The plan is normally to alternate between families but perhaps a paradigm shift is in order - just spend it with just my small unit.

g3org3y

14,251 posts

139 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
scrubchub said:
Change of plan - I've cancelled the Christmas get together. Just a pain in the arse. Said that there wouldn't be room for everyone. The plan is normally to alternate between families but perhaps a paradigm shift is in order - just spend it with just my small unit.
Never heard anyone refer to their penis like that before.

Sheets Tabuer

15,209 posts

163 months

Sunday 17th November
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scrubchub said:
Change of plan - I've cancelled the Christmas get together.

crofty1984

13,523 posts

152 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
borcy said:
How come you're banned from the in laws?
I'm not banned from them in general (in fact I might head over today) but for the last few years Christmas has always ended in anger, resentment, arguments and shouting. MIL considers it a hateful chore and FIL doesn't help, which further winds up MIL. I think the words used were "Look, if you can be absolutely anywhere else for Christmas, do that. It'll only be horrible if you come here." We normally go over for new year or just after once things have calmed down a bit. They're not normally too bad normally, and separately.

El stovey

29,125 posts

211 months

Sunday 17th November
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scrubchub said:
Change of plan - I've cancelled the Christmas get together. Just a pain in the arse. Said that there wouldn't be room for everyone. The plan is normally to alternate between families but perhaps a paradigm shift is in order - just spend it with just my small unit.
Oh dear. Now you’ve upset your mum and your sister and your girlfriend will blame you for making it look like her fault.

You’ve basically ruined Christmas.

Hoofy

69,563 posts

230 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
Not sure what the problem is. You can still do the meal as per the normal time and save some for your sister and her kid.

Isaac Hunt

10,617 posts

159 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
scrubchub said:
Change of plan - I've cancelled the Christmas get together. Just a pain in the arse. Said that there wouldn't be room for everyone. The plan is normally to alternate between families but perhaps a paradigm shift is in order - just spend it with just my small unit.
And how did that go down with the GF?

Perhaps you should have offered to do the food shopping and all the cooking.

However, I don't blame you. Nothing worse than having to do duty runs at Christmas.

CharlieH89

8,573 posts

113 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
PositronicRay said:
xx99xx said:
I think unless your Mrs has OCD, Asperger's, autism etc then she is being unreasonable. A slight delay to meal time shouldn't bother most people. Therefore there is more to it that she isn't telling. If you genuinely liked someone then you wouldn't mind if they came round to see you, even at short notice.
I think there's something to this. Mrs PR is a bit of a control freak, stuff has to planned, deviations are stressful. She'd rather abandon than be flexible.

She may be on the spectrum.
My wife is the same. Hmmm, a lot of women hehe


Speaking on topic, my 8 month old babies first Christmas. Usually we would go to my mum and dads on christmas day and her mum and dads.
My mum and dad have a shih Tzu dog which is a pain in the ass around the baby, so this Christmas plans have to change starting now.

Twig62

448 posts

44 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
As I frequently get told, Christmas is for family not for enjoying yourself !

V1nce Fox

725 posts

16 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
scrubchub said:
Change of plan - I've cancelled the Christmas get together. Just a pain in the arse. Said that there wouldn't be room for everyone. The plan is normally to alternate between families but perhaps a paradigm shift is in order - just spend it with just my small unit.
quite fking right too. stand your ground on this one.

nonsequitur

10,777 posts

64 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
smifffymoto said:
A late lunch isn’t really a problem,give the kids a selection box and they won’t be hungry until 2 anyway.
Relax. Our Christmas dinner is at 1600 at the earliest.

Oops, too late I think.burger(Xmas Dinner)?


Edited by nonsequitur on Sunday 17th November 19:17

Sheepshanks

18,637 posts

67 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
scrubchub said:
(I do the cooking anyway),
I know the plan has changed now, but I wonder if the above is part of your gf's concern - she'll be left to deal with your sister while you're up to your eyes in it in the kitchen?

I say this as it's what happens in our house - people arrive, my wife says 'hello' then disappears into the kitchen. She'll miss the starter and she'll barely sit down to eat with us before she's off again doing the next bit. And then it repeats for a buffet later as more people arrive. She won't let anyone else help. Drives me absolutely mad, and we fall out over it every Christmas.

Skyedriver

8,803 posts

230 months

Sunday 17th November
quotequote all
39 days and it'll all be over for another year.....

C0ffin D0dger

3,306 posts

93 months

Monday 18th November
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Can't be bothered reading all of it but what I've learned over the years - wife, in-laws and Xmas in combination are an effing nightmare.

My missus pretty much stated on the long drive back from a family party a few weeks back that she's not prepared to spend several hours in the car this Christmas visiting my mother. This means I'm now screwed...

My Mum is in her eighties, doesn't drive and wouldn't entertain the thought of using public transport to get any further than the supermarket. My brother lives near her but is always conveniently "on call" for work. The wife says they should come to ours, this will never happen and besides which she'll never go anywhere without her dog and I don't want it in my house. Because we spent a week down near her as part of our holiday this year my wife thinks we've done our bit.

Her suggestion, meet for lunch somewhere central for a few hours, exchange presents and return home. Not very festive is it especially as we have two kids who my Mum will be wanting to buy stuff for.

Her parents we see often although they will come to us as well as us going to them and they're close enough that visiting for the day is fine. I'd never protest about anything she arranges with them.

But anyway, I now just want for it to all be over so that I can get on with my life.

Dr Interceptor

5,602 posts

144 months

Monday 18th November
quotequote all
If she's working till 2, I'm assuming she can be with you by 3pm? If so, I don't see the issue... Crack open the champers when your sis arrives, drinks, canapes, then dinner. 3-4pm for dinner is hardly late, nor is it going to make your 2nd born's first christmas miserable.

It's part of the reason why I now sod off for Christmas... I don't have kids, my sister has two (and a grandchild), and I'd really rather not be about when we all get together at Christmas. It's all so forced and scripted, rather than just being a nice relaxing day.