Marriage - or not?
Discussion
Ari said:
davek_964 said:
Yes, I want to be with her - but that doesn't mean I necessarily want to get married. However, it seems my decision time is up.
Emotional blackmail - she sounds a catch! 
Lemming Train said:
What a load of old b
ks ! 
You can "declare" to her whatever you want but it doesn't mean st. All this "commitment" nonsense only lasts until the day she gets bored or tired of your irritating ways and/or starts receiving attention from someone else, then you're toast and she clears up with half of your wealth.
There's 2 types of marriage for men :
1. the marriage that they don't care for but are pressured into it by the OH.
2. the marriage that they instigate themselves because they are insecure wimps and have some deluded belief that getting married will 'secure' her as their own for their rest of their life, preventing her from leaving them or cheating.
42% divorce rate + a huge number of married couples living a lie, hating each other's guts but "we're only still together for the children" + all the OAPs that like to tell you they've been married for 50 years but the truth of the matter is that they can't stand the sight of each other
.
Interesting insight into the typical PH male psyche. Insecure, selfish and afraid of failure.ks ! You can "declare" to her whatever you want but it doesn't mean s
t. All this "commitment" nonsense only lasts until the day she gets bored or tired of your irritating ways and/or starts receiving attention from someone else, then you're toast and she clears up with half of your wealth.There's 2 types of marriage for men :
1. the marriage that they don't care for but are pressured into it by the OH.
2. the marriage that they instigate themselves because they are insecure wimps and have some deluded belief that getting married will 'secure' her as their own for their rest of their life, preventing her from leaving them or cheating.
42% divorce rate + a huge number of married couples living a lie, hating each other's guts but "we're only still together for the children" + all the OAPs that like to tell you they've been married for 50 years but the truth of the matter is that they can't stand the sight of each other
. StevieBee said:
Many marriages do end in divorce but the trick is to get married on the assumption that yours won't.
That’s probably the worst piece of advice I’ve read on PH, and that’s saying something.Relationships often end. This should be your assumption going in. And clearly your partner has been through at least one marriage from the sounds of it. So, there’s a track record to consider. It sounds like you are both ‘mature’, so what are the motivations for marriage?
Pragmatism trumps idealism as you get older, as you’ve got less time to correct a mistake.
Been with my other half since 1990. I asked her in 92 if she was ever bothered about marriage, as I didn't care either way. She said she didn't care either way. Still not married. Probably why we are still together as she lets me do as I please and I let her and neither of us really care about the 'proper' way of doing things.
Digby said:
Been with my other half since 1990. I asked her in 92 if she was ever bothered about marriage, as I didn't care either way. She said she didn't care either way. Still not married. Probably why we are still together as she lets me do as I please and I let her and neither of us really care about the 'proper' way of doing things.
There's no '1 size fits all'. 23rdian said:
Frank7 said:
Targarama said:
Wish my ex had asked me this....
Still going to cost me a fair few bob to get out, she even suggested paying her debts was normal marital expenditure and shouldn't be considered in Form E. Nice of her. Oh and please include all my pensions from before we met. Meanwhile she doesn't even chase the father of her daughter for maintenance (he was before my time). Snakes with t1ts.
If that’s really how you feel about women, I suggest that youStill going to cost me a fair few bob to get out, she even suggested paying her debts was normal marital expenditure and shouldn't be considered in Form E. Nice of her. Oh and please include all my pensions from before we met. Meanwhile she doesn't even chase the father of her daughter for maintenance (he was before my time). Snakes with t1ts.
Google “Monasteries, and how to learn to love them”
irocfan said:
jshell said:
There's no '1 size fits all'.
this ^^^Fascinating to see so many arguing so fervently against marriage and when someone posts advocating it they are told they are wrong, if you find a person(PC) who lets you be you, supports and understands you and shares your views, maybe interests, and morals and you return all that to them, then there is no reason why your marriage would fail, unless one of you changes, nothing can stop that from happening, some people just change, you either deal with it and work through it or you move on, that's life.
As others have said, there's no one size fits all. Even in the happiest of marriages, one or other can stray and the essential trust is then gone. In many cases it's simply when it becomes too much of a standard routine and one party feels that the grass must be greener elsewhere.
These days, it's so much easier for the woman to live an independent life with her own job, lifestyle, property etc. It used to be virtually impossible for most wives to believe that that could ever be possible.
These days, it's so much easier for the woman to live an independent life with her own job, lifestyle, property etc. It used to be virtually impossible for most wives to believe that that could ever be possible.
Normally you will know by what kind of person your other half is.
If she is batstmental with a track record of being in a lot of relationships then I’d hold back, but if you’ve been with her for 5-10 years then surely you know eachother that much that marriage just seems second nature?
What is weird is people in Hollywood getting married after 6 months or so. Stupid.
If she is bats
tmental with a track record of being in a lot of relationships then I’d hold back, but if you’ve been with her for 5-10 years then surely you know eachother that much that marriage just seems second nature?What is weird is people in Hollywood getting married after 6 months or so. Stupid.
bristolracer said:
^This
Your soul mate, your lover,your confidant, the person who makes you happy,her warmth and her comfort,the woman you would take a bullet for, the woman you would nurse to the end
or
Your money?
Maybe you should see how keen she is when you show her this thread?
As aboveYour soul mate, your lover,your confidant, the person who makes you happy,her warmth and her comfort,the woman you would take a bullet for, the woman you would nurse to the end
or
Your money?
Maybe you should see how keen she is when you show her this thread?
With the views expressed by so many on this thread I can see why the divorce rate is so high.
Only you know if she is the right one, if you are not sure then she isn't the one
Bobberoo99 said:
irocfan said:
jshell said:
There's no '1 size fits all'.
this ^^^Fascinating to see so many arguing so fervently against marriage and when someone posts advocating it they are told they are wrong, if you find a person(PC) who lets you be you, supports and understands you and shares your views, maybe interests, and morals and you return all that to them, then there is no reason why your marriage would fail, unless one of you changes, nothing can stop that from happening, some people just change, you either deal with it and work through it or you move on, that's life.
What's the point in getting married then if you can just "move on" when you get bored or it all gets a bit too hard work?
vows said:
I, __, take you, __, to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
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