Marriage - or not?

[Shnozz]

So, marry for insecurity and/or need for possessorship.

Or eschew the path of true love with anyone who doesn't match your own assets and create a romantic contract only with your equal.

Sold.

[jshell]

Shnozz said:

So, marry for insecurity and/or need for possessorship.

Or eschew the path of true love with anyone who doesn't match your own assets and create a romantic contract only with your equal.

Sold.

Nearly all of the women I've met want to be married. Like it or not, most of them have been dreaming about it since being kids. Just the way of the world and one of the myriad differences between the sexes.

Again, not all, but many see marriage as commitment - even today. I just don't think a lot of blokes can see it. I've certainly met guys' who have capiltalised upon the situation and target women in relationships..

[Shnozz]

jshell said:

It does, but some of those llines are successful, like it or not. There are pick-up artists around everywhere and I'm just pointing out that some women have a different thought process towards marriage, even when they say they haven't.

Would you risk it?

Risk it? Risk infidelity by not getting married?

I mean, it's not like a pick up artist would hit on a married woman is it? Or then throw in the "your husband can't be all that for you to be here" drivel is it?

The alternative is having some faith in your relationship and your partner, married or otherwise.

You could argue that those bored married housewives alone at bars are an easier target than those whose men evade the capture of marriage and keep them on the edge and gym bound rather than heading home to behave like a sloth in front of the TV but basking in the security of a band around their finger.

[jshell]

Shnozz said:

jshell said:

It does, but some of those llines are successful, like it or not. There are pick-up artists around everywhere and I'm just pointing out that some women have a different thought process towards marriage, even when they say they haven't.

Would you risk it?

Risk it? Risk infidelity by not getting married?

I mean, it's not like a pick up artist would hit on a married woman is it? Or then throw in the "your husband can't be all that for you to be here" drivel is it?

The alternative is having some faith in your relationship and your partner, married or otherwise.

You could argue that those bored married housewives alone at bars are an easier target than those whose men evade the capture of marriage and keep them on the edge and gym bound rather than heading home to behave like a sloth in front of the TV but basking in the security of a band around their finger.

There are all sorts out there and they are motivated. I can't see too many married women just sitting around bars on their own though, but I suppose you're correct. No woman wants to go home to the perennial sloth. That would get wearing and maybe one of the reasons I drag my 50+ yr old carcase down the gym regularly!!

Any relationship needs hard work, both sides.

[anonymous-user]

Seems a bit like boasting you have never broken down or paid for brakedown insurance. Good for you but statistically you are rare and sometimes it’s not your fault.

[jshell]

Sambucket said:

Seems a bit like boasting you have never broken down or paid for brakedown insurance. Good for you but statistically you are rare and sometimes it’s not your fault.

Not me, I've had my fair share of relationship failures!

[Shnozz]

jshell said:

There are all sorts out there and they are motivated. I can't see too many married women just sitting around bars on their own though, but I suppose you're correct. No woman wants to go home to the perennial sloth. That would get wearing and maybe one of the reasons I drag my 50+ yr old carcase down the gym regularly!!

Any relationship needs hard work, both sides.

I am not sure why a woman in a long term relationship would be more likely to be in a bar than one who is married. The concept of a day down the aisle and a ring on the finger doesn't tend to change social habits all that much in my mind, and nor should it.

I would be highly surprised if a woman who was unhappy at home due to a non-marriage committing partner would decide a night of passion with a plain to see smooth talking pick up artist is a cure to their dilemma. More likely, they might simply walk away and sign up to a soulmates website to find the polar opposite of that bloke in the bar.

I would maintain that the chances of success for a PUA with a bored housewife wanting a night of freedom would rank far, far higher as an escapism.

[jshell]

Shnozz said:

jshell said:

There are all sorts out there and they are motivated. I can't see too many married women just sitting around bars on their own though, but I suppose you're correct. No woman wants to go home to the perennial sloth. That would get wearing and maybe one of the reasons I drag my 50+ yr old carcase down the gym regularly!!

Any relationship needs hard work, both sides.

I am not sure why a woman in a long term relationship would be more likely to be in a bar than one who is married. The concept of a day down the aisle and a ring on the finger doesn't tend to change social habits all that much in my mind, and nor should it.

I would be highly surprised if a woman who was unhappy at home due to a non-marriage committing partner would decide a night of passion with a plain to see smooth talking pick up artist is a cure to their dilemma. More likely, they might simply walk away and sign up to a soulmates website to find the polar opposite of that bloke in the bar.

I would maintain that the chances of success for a PUA with a bored housewife wanting a night of freedom would rank far, far higher as an escapism.

Maybe, maybe you're right. Taking anyone for granted is the biggest threat, methinks.

[Thales]

Shnozz said:

I am not sure why a woman in a long term relationship would be more likely to be in a bar than one who is married. The concept of a day down the aisle and a ring on the finger doesn't tend to change social habits all that much in my mind, and nor should it.

I would be highly surprised if a woman who was unhappy at home due to a non-marriage committing partner would decide a night of passion with a plain to see smooth talking pick up artist is a cure to their dilemma. More likely, they might simply walk away and sign up to a soulmates website to find the polar opposite of that bloke in the bar.

I would maintain that the chances of success for a PUA with a bored housewife wanting a night of freedom would rank far, far higher as an escapism.

Are you trying to understand a woman's train of thought? I wouldn't bother

[Shnozz]

Thales said:

Are you trying to understand a women's train of thought? I wouldn't bother

Not at all. I just spent far too many years as a bachelor in the bars of a city. Nothing I am very proud of.

[Thales]

Shnozz said:

Not at all. I just spent far too many years as a bachelor in the bars of a city. Nothing I am very proud of.

Out of curiosity - why?

[Shnozz]

Thales said:

Out of curiosity - why?

Why not proud? Or why was I a long term bachelor?

[irocfan]

amusing all this talk about women in bars - let's be honest here men are more likely to be there. WRT the whole faithfulness thing isn't it statistically more likely for the man to stray?

[anonymous-user]

xjay1337 said:

I genuinely don't know what convinces someone to not at least live with your partner for a time period before you get married!

There are many things you do not realise when you are just dating / staying over odd nights.
Things like do they do the washing up straight away or leave it for hours? Do they leave the living room light on all day? Etc. These are all small things but things which matter!


On the marriage topic, I don't personally want to get married, I don't understand what it brings, other than a bit of paper to say you are married.
If you want it that much, have a faux ceremony and change your name by deepol or whatever.
It doesn't help as well that many women want marriage so much more than men. Men go ahead to appease.
Then other women get invited to said wedding, start feeling left out, they want their fairytale day too.

Circle continues.

It's not for me.

Edited by anonymous-user on Wednesday 11th December 11:46

I think theres a lot of pressure for women to get married, especially if they have lots of friends doing it and they feel 'why not me' - which if you think about it, is not the reason to get married. I know a woman who was desperate to get married and became very choosy, waiting for Mr Perfect.

Now, she is in her late 30s and single - nothing wrong with that, but she very much feels like she's missed out and regretting not making a go with someone who she thought wasn't 'perfect'. The same person gets annoyed when one of her friends talks about their husband I a gushing way, simply because they're married.

It is easier for a man, theres less pressure and no 'ticking clock'. Maybe that's the upside for men .. the downside being getting shafted at divorce time?

[jshell]

YouTalkinToMe said:

I think theres a lot of pressure for women to get married, especially if they have lots of friends doing it and they feel 'why not me' - which if you think about it, is not the reason to get married. I know a woman who was desperate to get married and became very choosy, waiting for Mr Perfect.

Now, she is in her late 30s and single - nothing wrong with that, but she very much feels like she's missed out and regretting not making a go with someone who she thought wasn't 'perfect'. The same person gets annoyed when one of her friends talks about their husband I a gushing way, simply because they're married.

It is easier for a man, theres less pressure and no 'ticking clock'. Maybe that's the upside for men .. the downside being getting shafted at divorce time?

Definitely.

[anonymous-user]

I think the 3F's need mentioning. If it flies, floats or fks then rent it.

[av185]

I'll advance you the 'seven Fs.'

Find
Follow
Fornicate
Fondle
Feel
fk
Forget

[Ari]

davek_964 said:

Yes, I want to be with her - but that doesn't mean I necessarily want to get married. However, it seems my decision time is up.

Emotional blackmail - she sounds a catch!

[Ari]

Bobberoo99 said:

As per normal there are some funny/strange/slanted views about marriage, reassuringly there are some, who like myself and Mrs Bobbers, are happily married, we've been together 26 years and married 24, yes we've had ups and downs, and yes we've had to work at it, sometimes very hard, but it's what has made our marriage stronger, communicating is everything when it comes to a relationship, if you're concerned about your financial standing after a break up then you are already questioning whether the marriage will work, it really should be all, or nothing when it comes to a relationship, it's the only way it will work.

Fingers crossed it will all be fine and ignore the facts? Good advice...

[Ari]

jshell said:

In a bar, after a few drinks and small talk:

Him: So, are you married?
Her: No, just partners.
Him: Oh, cool. Why not married?
Her: Oh, we're not bothered by that sort of thing... (shuffles uncomfortably)
Him: Oh well, that wouldn't work for me...
Her: Why not?
Him: (looks at floor, sighs, lifts head and looks directly into her eyes) If woman as beautiful as you were mine, I'd make sure she knew I was committed to her for life.
Her: 'mumbles'
Him: Can I buy you a drink...?
Her: (slightly flushed) I need to be home by 2am!
Him: 'Taxi'

Women, most, but not all, think differently about things. I've seen the above scenario work too may times.

This is an astonishing thread!

You honestly believe that a woman prepared to cheat on her partner with some stranger in a bar is going to completely rethink her position just because she's married!? You don't get given a new set of morals with each wedding!

People (men and women) are either trustworthy and honest, or they're not.